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- Sound. - OK.
- Camera. - OK.
Scene 1, take 1, roll 1.
Hello, I'm the scriptwriter and the director of the movie
you are about to watch.
I mean, the movie you are watching.
What I really mean is: the movie you're going to see
- despite the fact you're watching it -
is a metalinguistic low-budget short movie. - Would you like more coffee?
Metalinguistic Low-Budget Short Movie
or
Would You Like More Coffee?
Would you like more coffee?
- I don't drink coffee. - I didn't ask whether you drink coffee,
I asked you whether you'd like more coffee. Would you?
I've told you I don't --
Nurse,
why am I seeing everything in gray?
Because we're in a metalinguistic black-and-white low-budget short movie.
- Would you like more coffee? - I must be dreaming.
Not really. According to the script, you've just woken up.
Before this, you were dreaming of a café near Seine river, in Paris.
Of course, this scene won't be shown, because, after all,
this is a metalinguistic low-budget short movie.
Would you like more coffee?
How do you know about my dream?
The script proposes that my character, in this case me,
is conscious about being in a movie and knows about your dream.
- Would you like more coffee? - No, I don't drink coffee,
and it makes no sense to ask me all the time "Would you like more coffee?"
What doesn't make sense is someone sleeping in a bed
in the middle of nowhere.
- What do you mean? - Look around you.
There's nothing here but trees, bird noises...
and Rafael, the sound technician doing the bird sounds.
Don't you think it's strange a bed in here?
Now I do.
You thought this was normal before because it was on the script
that you had to think it was normal. - And how do I get out of here?
You can't get out of here. You need to rest.
- Get out of this movie, I mean. - There's no way.
- How come? There must be a way. - Impossible. Characters can't leave movies.
It only happens in movies. Would you like more coffee?
I've told you I don't--
Where's my scarf?
Continuity mistake. It happens all the time.
"Continuity mistake". That's just great.
It's back. See? Your scarf appeared again.
That's weird.
- They must think this is weird, too. - Who?
The audience.
I don't see anybody.
Me neither. But we are here because they are there.
I don't like the idea of being observed.
What if the script predicts I'll have to be naked
and my dad is watching it?
Even worse, what if my uncle Aurélio is watching it?
The worst thing is people who watch it to badmouth it later.
Critics are a problem.
I wonder if this movie is in a festival. I only watch short movies at festivals.
That's quite probable.
By the way, I would like to ask in the name of our crew,
that if by any chance, you're watching this movie in a festival
with a "People's Choice Award", please vote for us.
Don't you think it's arrogant to ask the audience to vote for our movie?
You'll end up having influence on their opinion.
Besides, the movie could be broadcasted on television
but I hardly see it happening. - They understand it.
After all, it's a metalinguistic low-budget short movie.
- Would you like more coffee? - I've already told you, no!
- What disease do I have, anyway? - I don't know.
The script just says that you're sick.
What if I die at the end?
What if I am only a supporting character that dies
at the beginning of a movie? - Don't worry.
- The movie is almost over. - What do you mean? It's just started.
- Did you forget that it's a short movie? - Ask them to wait a little bit.
I can't ask the movie not to end. I'm just a character.
But what happens when the movie is over?
When the movie ends some letters start to appear.
- But what happens to us? - Ah, I don't know.
- Would you like more coffee? - Damn it!
I'm sorry, I'm just following the script. Besides, you're angry just because
it is on the script that you have to be angry.
That's ridiculous, I'm being manipulated!
I hate the scriptwriter of this movie
and I hate myself for accepting my role in this film.
- It only lacks to write "the end". - Now?
- Smile! - How can I smile in a moment like this?
- Just do it! - I hate this nurse.
C'mon, we're good friends in real life.
You also like the scriptwriter very much.
You two even have - or had - a relationship.
Seriously?
The End