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[Music Playing: Imagine Dragons “Radioactive”]
Lip Syncing: I’m waking up to ash and dust, I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
I'm breathing in the chemicals [Gasping and sighing]
I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse, whoa
I’m waking up...
Caller: Hi Dannielle and Kristin, my name is Justin.
Um, so, my sister came out as being gay about two years ago now,
and I am also gay, but my parents don’t know.
And whenever my sister came out, my parents didn’t take it very well.
Like, they were very upset, um, they’re religious.
So, I’m not sure how to come out.
Um, I want to come out sometime, but I just don’t know when and how I should do it.
‘Kay, thank you!
I don’t think you should come out any differently because your sister came out,
if that makes sense?
There’s a fortunate side and an unfortunate side, I think.
Because the unfortunate side is that you know how your parents are going to react.
But the fortunate side is that you know how your parents are going to react.
Dannielle: Mm-hmm.
Right? So, like, the terror of coming out to parents often is that you have no idea what is going to happen.
You envision the worst, you are, you know, convinced they’ll kick you out of the house,
so at least you had a sister who has come out, and it has not been pleasant, but from it sounds like she’s still living in your home
and your parents are still speaking to her, and it’s very difficult, but it’s also manageable?
Another fortunate...
I was raised mostly as an only child, so I didn’t have a sibling to talk to.
I didn’t have a sibling who was not gay, or gay, that I could talk to,
and you have a gay sibling who already went through exactly what you went through who you can talk to about it.
I’m assuming you’ve already done this, but you should definitely talk to your sister about
what she wishes she had done and not done.
And even if you don’t have a super close relationship with your sister, this could be a really nice time to begin one...
Also, I am always a fan of a letter…always a fan of a letter.
Writing is great.
Right? Especially in a situation like this where you know that their reaction is probably not going to be very positive,
or you know they’re going to have a lot to digest, and where you have a lot to say...
Dannielle: Mm-hmm...
Their first response often comes with your first sentence.
So you say “I’m gay,” and that’s all that they respond to for the rest of the conversation.
So,...
Kristin: And all they hear...
Yeah, and all they hear.
So, when you have a letter, you have a chance to be like,
I’m gay, these are my concerns, this is why I was afraid to tell you, I still love you...
Like, if you want to talk about this, let’s definitely sit down,
but it would mean a lot to me if there was no screaming...
You know, whatever. Like...
That would be cool...
Right, that would rule...
And I also think, um, having something say about the fact that this is who you are and it has nothing to do with your sibling
is, um, key, because that’s something that parents often think, right?
You’re not actually gay, you’re just...you’ve been hanging around your sister and you think that, like, now the whole family has to be gay.
It can be the kind of thing where your parents are more upset,
but it can also be the kind of thing where they’ve been through the process,
and so even though they’re going to be upset regardless, they will be able to work through the process I think quicker,
or they’ll be able to at least talk to you about it because they’ve been through it before.
Mm-hmm, stick in solidarity with your sister,
write a letter if you think that’ll be a better way for you to get things off your chest in a way that is clear,
and, um, do it when you’re comfortable doing it.
You know, don’t wait. It never, ever, ever helps to wait.
[Music Playing: Imagine Dragons “Radioactive”]
Lip Syncing: I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh,
I'm radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh,
I’m radioactive, radioactive
I raise my flags, don my clothes
It's a revolution, I suppose
We'll paint it red...
[Dannielle Snorting and Laughing]