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As one can imagine, a relationship that involves one or more asexuals tends to be quite different
from the traditional romantic and *** relationships that many people are familiar with.
Just like any other relationship, there are challenges that can arise in this setting but at the
end of the day, all it boils down to is honest and open communication.
With a large portion of asexuals experiencing romantic attraction, it should come as no
surprise that many asexuals want to form romantic relationships.
There are many variations of relationships that involve asexuals and those on the asexual spectrum,
and today we'll discuss some of the most common forms.
This certainly isn't a definitive guide, and in the end,
members of any relationship should discuss what works best for them.
One type of romantic relationship that generally seems to be ideal for asexuals is one in which
two asexuals are in a romantic relationship together.
There usually isn't any *** compromise,
but with people who identify as asexual being as uncommon as they are and with few active
dating sites that support this option, finding another asexual to be with can be difficult.
Since *** compatibility is far from the only component in a romantic relationship,
the likelihood of two asexuals finding each other; liking, trusting, and getting along
with each other becomes quite small.
Because of this, most asexuals who are interested in a romantic relationship inevitably end
up with a non-asexual partner, simply because the asexual dating pool is so small.
In this case, both people in the relationship have to do what any other relationship requires
figure out the individual needs of both people, and compromise where necessary.
Compromises usually include at least one of the following:
negotiating on the type and frequency of *** activity,
agreeing on an open relationship, where both involved can seek out other partners
to fulfill their *** and romantic desires,
or participating in a polyamorous relationship
where it is acceptable for both asexuals and non-asexuals to have multiple intimate partners at once.
With the first option of compromising on the type and frequency of *** activity,
it's commonly, though mistakenly thought that the asexual is the only one who must compromise
in order to make the relationship work, usually by figuring out how to tolerate sex.
This arrangement is generally harmful to both parties, as a relationship will not easily work well
if only one member is compromising.
It shouldn't be seen as anyone's fault for *** tensions within this kind of relationship.
The problem isn't that the asexual has too little desire for sex
nor is the problem that the non-asexual has too much desire for sex.
The problem is that these people may have very different *** needs.
Rather than blaming the asexual
or the non-asexual for *** incompatibility within the relationship, both parties should
recognize that they have different desires for sex and that
compromise and honest communication should come from both of them.
In some cases, a non-asexual with *** desires is willing to dismiss their desires or give
up sex for the asexual. They may choose to abstain from sex, or find other outlets
to release *** tension and satisfy *** urges.
These can include *** or indulging in *** material,
though other options certainly exist.
In other cases, an asexual will agree to infrequent, occasional or regular *** activities, depending
on their interest in sex and their tolerance toward it. Sometimes, the non-asexual member
of a relationship can be fully satisfied by physically intimate activities such as
kissing, cuddling, or massaging, or physically intimate play that is a substitute for actual *** intercourse
petting, stimulating a partner's genitals, or using sex toys instead of one's
body to engage in *** activity, just to name a few possibilities.
For asexuals who are sex-repulsed, engaging in *** activity usually isn't an option.
If their partner isn't willing to give up sex, other options can be pursued.
Another option that can work well for many people is an open relationship,
a relationship where any member who is willing to can pursue other people to satisfy their *** or romantic desires.
This must be a decision that all people in the relationship mutually agree to.
No one should feel pressured to open up the relationship if they don't feel
comfortable doing so, and clear-cut boundaries such as the type of romantic and *** contact allowed
as well as when and where this contact can take place can certainly be established.
An asexual can also be part of a polyamorous group, which is a group where all members
can have more than one intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent
of everyone involved. This allows any asexual in the group to be satisfied romantically
without feeling pressured to act sexually, as any non-asexual who wishes to engage in
*** activity can seek out anyone else who wishes to participate.
Romantic relationships aren't the only types of committed relationships a person can have.
Anyone, regardless of their *** orientation, can form relationships that are
long lasting, devoted, intimate, and loving, yet nonromantic and nonsexual in nature.
People in these relationships may live together, be physically affectionate with one another,
and support each other in ways similar to more traditional romantic relationships,
despite not experiencing *** or romantic attraction toward one another.
It's easy to assume that people in these relationships are "just" friends and therefore these relationships
are inferior to romantic and *** relationships.
However, romance and sex are only two components
of a wide variety of characteristics that can be present in meaningful and committed
relationships so it makes little sense why they should have a monopoly on high levels
of caring over platonic feelings. Devaluing friendship also serves to devalue romantic
and *** relationships as most of those relationships are successfully built upon
solid and strong friendships. Even if some of these platonic relationships are "just"
friendships, the absence of romance and sex does not lessen the level of caring, devotion,
affection, trust, and love people in these relationships can have for each other.
Intimacy, affection, respect, support and love can be and are found in friendships and many other types
of platonic relationships that exist - in significant amounts and yes, even with the
complete lack of romantic and *** components.
It is very possible for asexuals and those on the asexual spectrum to find others who
have similar levels of *** interest as them, or who are willing to
work with them in order to achieve happiness for all involved. Despite what some may believe,
not every non-asexual considers sex an essential part of a relationship.
There are those who are very willing to give up sex within a relationship, since experiencing *** attraction does
not determine how much one desires *** activity nor does it determine how important sex is to someone.
Not all asexuals are sex-repulsed or simply indifferent to sex either; some
can enjoy and be completely fine with having *** activity in a relationship.
If *** needs are outlined
and all members make the effort to engage in honest and respectful
communication, a relationship with an asexual is going to be perfectly a-okay.
Today, we discussed how many asexuals form relationships with other people
and how asexuals can have difficulty finding suitable partners also on the asexual spectrum.
We went over the types of *** compromise that are possible in a relationship that includes
an asexual depending on their desire for sex, tolerance towards sex, and the type of relationship that
they desire; and some of the types of relationships: open relationships, polyamorous relationships,
and platonic relationships that are available for anyone and everyone to form.
We've included the links for a number of dating sites that accommodate asexuals in the description below if you're
interested in checking those out. You can post any questions you have about asexuality
in the comments below and as always, our team will do our best to answer all of those questions.
Thanks for watching, and remember, everything's a-okay.