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Jane? Please.
Please can I come in?
I just wanna talk, okay?
Jane please!
Are you okay?
You were so quiet.
Jane. Say something. Please.
I'm sorry. Okay?
I was an idiot!
I never meant to hurt you.
Yes.
I brought you some water.
[she drinks]
Can I come in?
Yes.
Grace told you about...
your wife.
Yes.
So it's true?
Legally?
It's a long story.
Don't go anywhere okay?
Just sit down before you faint.
Okay I'll be right back.
Just don't go anywhere.
Are you sure you wanna do this now?
It's alright if I leave the camera on?
It makes you feel safer.
I don't care about keeping secrets anymore.
But... Part of the story isn't mine to tell.
I can't tell you all the details on camera.
I can't release her name. But we can call her M.
- Is that okay? - Yes.
This is the paperwork that Grace keeps trying to get you to sign.
Right. We never got around to it.
Grace used to be in charge of getting all the nannies to sign it.
Too many qualified applicants turned down the job when they found out about the components she added in the agreement.
Grace can be pretty force down getting paperwork signed.
Adele needed a new nanny.
So... I asked Grace if I could explain it.
But you didn't.
I met you before I knew you were an applicant.
I liked you.
I was afraid that you would leave.
That you wouldn't approve.
That you'd vanished.
Grace told me the details.
I want to know your side.
I listen as long as you like.
I told you about my brother.
If he hadn't died I wouldn't be the CEO of Thornfield Exports.
He and my father had more in common with each other than I did with either of them.
My mother left us at a young age.
I don't blame her.
My father wasn't very kind to her.
Always with another woman.
He probably did worse.
He was easy to hate.
He inherited the company from his father.
And my brother would have carried on the tradition.
It was Rowland who introduced me to M.
We were at university.
I met Blanche. And Warren. And her.
She was so amazing.
She was smart. And passioned.
Wild.
She made me feel like everything mattered.
We were young. We had money.
There were a lot of parties. Lot of drinking. A lot of drugs.
We were really in love.
I mean really in love.
And... It made us really stupid.
In our third year... We found out that she was pregnant.
I was so happy.
We were having a baby together.
M. told me later that... It was her family who...
Who tried to make the problem disappear.
And then... It was my father who stepped in and... And tried to convince them that our marriage would be beneficial to everyone.
So they threw us this... this 600 persons wedding.
So... What happened?
Too many things.
Even for the pregnancy her parents always put a lot of pressure on her.
She... She never slept.
She worked too much. She drank too much.
When she found out she was pregnant all that stopped but...
And now I think she was ashamed.
She stopped going to school.
She stopped doing anything that made her happy.
And then Rowland died in a car accident.
There were friends. He was always the favorite.
He... He studied business. He had all the contacts. All the charisma.
I took philosophy and I never finished my degree!
And then my father... threw himself off a balcony four months later.
Suddenly I was the CEO of Thornfield Exports.
Investors bailed.
Mass of lay-offs.
The company was in desperate need of repair.
And I was working late every night.
While M. was at home. Alone. Pregnant. And unhappy.
I was so caught up with work... that I missed out on her giving birth to Adele.
By the time I got there they were both asleep.
Adele was beautiful though.
And she was healthy and smiling.
And then I was back at work again.
I know I should have spent more time at home.
Grace says that it probably wouldn't have mattered but I think that it would have.
We didn't know that she had post-partum depression.
We had hired a nanny... to help her with Adele.
And she found a psychiatrist that would prescribe whatever... whatever pills that... that she asked for.
So... Painkillers for headaches. Sleeping pills because she couldn't sleep properly.
She started mixing new drugs. Lying in bed all day.
Drinking when the drugs weren't enough.
She spiraled.
We'd fight. She'd throw things. She'd cry and cry and cry.
And I didn't know what to do.
And then one day I came home from work and she was standing over Adele's crib.
Just standing there. Staring at her.
It was terrifying.
I didn't know... I didn't know what to do, I mean she didn't do anything but...
If we fought... She told me that she couldn't do it anymore.
And she left.
She said whe was going back home to live with her family.
At first I was angry.
Angry that she'd left me and Adele.
Angry that she hadn't tried harder to make it work.
I wanted to believe that if she had just tried harder, it would have worked.
Her family locked me out of her life.
They blamed me for the state she was in.
They said that she was better off without me.
I didn't fight them on it.
I was in a bad place for a while.
Drinking. Working too much.
Sleeping with different women.
A few years had passed and the company was a bit more stable.
I guess I thought maybe she would have recovered.
And maybe we could try again.
It was... It was her brother who helped me find her.
He was only 16 but but he didn’t agree with her parents’ attitude.
I guess... I guess she called him sometimes.
Her parents blamed everything that was happening to her on drugs.
They never really believed in therapy, little on mental health.
They set her up in an appartment. And didn't get her any help.
Her drug use got worse.
You name it she tried it.
Her landlord evicted her after too many parties and not enough rent.
We found her a shelter.
All this time I thought she was okay.
I thought if I could just get her to talk to me...
If we could just go back and work on it.
And restart.
But everything... the drugs... the alcohol... the pressure, the depression had all all taken its toll.
And she wasn't M. anymore.
We got her treatment.
It took months.
Finally she was discharged home into my care.
What she has is manageable.
It is.
It just... it takes work.
She could have lived a normal life.
She could have been a mother to Adele and we could have been happy.
But her addiction complicated everything.
She still struggles.
She was the first person that I ever loved like that.
And... I feel responsible. And blamed myself.
I wasn't ready to let her back into Adele's life.
I didn't trust her yet.
It was Grace who suggested building a ward.
Money was never an issue.
The ward has everything that she could possibly want or need.
Back entrance fur nurses. It's only accessible to the house by elevator.
Her brother could come and visit.
And I could be there for her.
But it takes time for the doctors to figure out what treatment works best for each patient.
It can be manageable if you stick to a treatment plan.
She spinned out her pills.
She hit them.
She wouldn't eat.
She refused to sleep.
The doctors called it "non compliant".
It made her harder to treat.
I spent years with her in an aisle of the hospital.
Trips to rehab.
There somehow she got a whole lot more drugs.
We tried everything.
I know she wants to quit.
She knows that she wants to quit.
But addiction isn't that simple.
Her parents feared that her story would ruin her reputation.
They told everyone that M. had disappeared after a mere disagreement.
They made themselves out to be the victims.
Adele doesn't know, does she?
No.
I want M. to get better before they're introduced.
But she hasn't.
I want them to meet but not until M. is ready.
She'd be constantly in and out of Adele's life and I'm not sure I forgave her for leaving our daughter.
I can understand her leaving me.
And I can forgive her for that but not for leaving Adele.
I'm a terrible father but I'd never leave her like that.
So... What does she think happened?
We told Adele that her mother left initially.
She was only 2 years old but...
I'm not really sure she understood.
She's never really asked since.
I think that somehow she knew that she wouldn't like the answer.
Or... that she was worried that it would upset me.
That's why you don't spend any time with her.
I'm not a good father.
I never was.
She's better off.
Does she look like your wife?
So the person in my room a few weeks ago...?
There was a power outage.
The upstairs generator kicked in and restarted the system.
M. was able to get into the elevator and take it downstairs.
I haven't been spending enough time with her.
- It's so messed up! - I know.
And so... When you cut yourself on that vase?
I actually did cut myself.
Just... It wasn't a nightmare.
M. visited.
And she woke me up.
Terrifying wake up calls.
One of the nurses had fallen asleep on her shift.
Grace fired her the next morning but the damage was done.
And Mason's suicide attempt?
Mason was visiting.
He felt that I wasn't spending enough time with her.
He was angry with me.
So he tried to convince her to leave.
He called the elevator and as he was leaving he brought her a glass of water.
I guess somehow it broke and she attacked him.
He was bleeding.
You were the only one who could help.
I was in too deep to tell you everything.
- Another lie just seemed easier... - You...
Go ahead, please. Just yell at me.
Please.
And you never divorced because...?
We haven't been together in years.
I haven't felt married in years.
Everything that happened with you was so... unplanned.
And I thought I could just ask for a divorce but it takes time.
That's why having a symbolic marriage.
And... And Blanche?
What about her?
What did she believe?
She believes the stories.
That M. met somebody... that they ran off together.
That Adele isn't even mine.
She never asked.
[whispering] She never asked.
You didn't.
It seemed impolite.
Most people don't.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
I always meant to.
But it never seemed like the right time.
I was a coward.
I wish you'd... you'd say something.
Just tell me what you think. Just yell, cry. Say something!
I deserve it.
You'll stay, won't you?
I love you.
Say it.
Say you'll stay.
I won't stay.
You can't forgive me, then?
You don't love me.
I do. I do.
I forgive you. And I love you.
Jane, stay, please.
Don't cry.
Sorry.
If you forgive me, if you love me... why?
Because...
Because it's not me that needs to forgive you.
You barely lied to me. Barely hurt me.
I love you.
But you've mistreated all the women in your life.
Adele never sees you.
She's away at camp as we speak.
She doesn't even know her mother is alive.
And Grace... Grace...
Does so much work for you.
You promised her you get me to sign that contract.
You owe her so much more than that.
What would she thinks of her ?
Don't take them down, Jane.
Please.
I won't. I won't.
The damage is done.
But you have to tell her.
Everything.
You proposed to me and... She disapproved entirely.
And yet you ignored her.
And Blanche. Blanche supported you.
She loved you and you broke her heart.
Does she know why?
The way you treated her at the party...
Was so cruel.
And your wife.
How often do you visit her?
She's lonely.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry but you know I'm right.
It's not me you have to worry about my love.
I love you.
You've treated the others so much worse.
I'll make it better. I can fix it.
Are you staying Jane?
No.
How about now? Will you stay with me now?
I can't.
Why?
Why are you leaving me?
Because...
Because if I stay you'll keep doing it.
You'll see me and not M.
I know you will.
What about you?
I need to go too. For me. I need to go after what I want for a change.
Alone? Without anyone?
I'll look after myself.
Jane? You can go. But not yet, okay, I'm not ready.
I have to.
No, look, it'll be fine, okay.
We're just... we're just tired, just stay.
Just stay for breakfast, okay? Just stay for dinner.
Just for a day. You're hungry.
You just need a break.
Please.
A day.
Promise? Promise me that you'll stay.
For a day. A week at most.
I promise. One day.
Two.
One. Just... Just one.
We'll be fine. Both of us.
You believe that?
I do.