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-Dad, will you turn it off! It's half-seven in the morning! -What?!
-Turn it off!
Dad, turn it off!
What, are you deliberately trying to wind me up, or what?!
-It needed doing. -Has anyone ever told you that you're a nightmare to live with?!
-Thanks for breakfast... -You're welcome.
How's mum and dad? -Can we not just talk about what you actually got me over here for?
Mum and dad have been going through a really rough patch lately. I really thought this was it.
Dad forgave mum for buying the Argee Bhajee. I mean in all it caused so many problems and I couldn't say no
-Sorry, but what are you talking about?
-The Bhajee. You know, you're upset that I've been given a restaurant and they're still not talking to you.
-No! Look, I'm fine with that! -Why the secret breakfast then?!
-Well I just wanted to catch up with my little bro! I've been away!
Honestly, I'm not interested in the Bhajee!
-Well that makes two of us then! -Well, if you don't want it, you've got to tell them!
-How, Syed?! What, "Oh you know that restaurant you mortgaged your souls to buy? Yeah, it's not really my scene".
-Oh, stand up for yourself Tambo! -I've tried! But, I mean, I've got two devout Muslim parents whose eldest son is gay...
It's not your fault, but... -Cheers.
-After you, they're gonna choose my career, my wife, my underpants...
-Well, you need to tell them it's your life! And that you're not going to be pushed around--
-Can we not talk about this now, please!
-So what else is going on?
-What's that?
-It's a, a business insurance offer. It might be for Masala Queen.
-Oh right, I'll tell ya what, I'll take it 'round. I've just seen Masood, with a spring in his step.
-Yeah? Perhaps I'll take it around.
-Look, I'm not going to do anything, alright?
I'm fine about everything. I'm happy, look! See? Even found a couple of quid down the sofa!
-Ian, when was the last time you hoovered the house at seven-thirty in the morning?
I'll take it. -Jane, you haven't got to worry about me, okay? I'm fine.
-I've made breakfast, there's tea in the pot and Kamil's been fed and.. ta-da!
The design company sent through the samples...
-Why are you being so helpful all of a sudden? [knock at the door]
-Just want to start a new business with my wife, that's all!
-Ian knows...
-And? -Well I think it's better if you keep Zainab out of his way for the time being, and we might just...
Zainab!
-Why don't you ask her in? -Uh, no. She's in a rush. -Yeah, yeah. Can't stop now. I'm in my slippers.
-Everything alright? -Yeah, yeah. I've had this business insurance offer sent to us. It might be good for Masala Queen.
It might not be any good at all, but I just thought that you might...
Anyway, I better.... -Get back to Ian! -Yeah, yeah!
-Okay, bye!
-Uh, Zee? Why don't you go back to bed? I'll bring all these up? Imagine that, a whole day in bed!
-Tempting as that is, Ian Beale can't see me expanding our empire from up there.
-Okay, well, why don't you go to town? You know, catch a Lollywood film instead?
-I thought we were launching a new business together today?!
-I'll do that! You just, um, go get some inspiration for the Argee Bhajee -There's too much to do, Masood!
-Okay, well take Bushra and, you know, that'll give you the chance to tell her about the new business. Make a night of it!
-Can we afford it?
-Yeah, my treat...
-You know, I don't deserve you...
-I mean I knew dad saved her in the fire, but I didn't know...
-I think he trumped you in the inappropriate partner stakes... -Morning Masoods!
-Maaybe not...
-Someone died?
-No. The girl Tam likes; her parents and our family have, uh, 'history'. -What, they don't approve?
-Nope! -Do you like her?
-You know, it's not really the point, is it? -Right, just tell them she didn't try to kill mum!
-What?! -Well there was a fire, dad played hero.
-Yeah but, they weren't married then. The got married later, it's a long story.
But, they left all that in Pakistan, Syed, and I've just brought it all back. -It's not your fault, or Afia's!
-Wait! Who tried to kill her?!
-I mean, even if dad says it's okay, I mean, going to be so busy. How am I gonna run the Bhajee and have a relationship?
-Fair enough! Well to be honest, I always thought she was a bit gobby.
-She's not gobby, you don't even know her?! -She is Tam, she's gobby! And she's a bit of a- -What?
-She's a chav, Tam!
Okay, okay. You'll fight me for her but you won't fight dad!
He's no saint, Tambo. Believe me.
Just give her another chance..
-I can't throw my family away because I love someone they don't approve of..
Well, thanks for breakfast!
-Who tried to kill her?!
-The cab isn't even here yet, Masood!
Oh look, there's Ian. Ian! -Uh, he's probably got a lot on...
-Ian! -Oh come on Zee, he's busy!
-Everything alright? -Yeah! Yeah, fine.
-I really don't think that you should get involved!
-My father's having an affair with Jane. -No, he isn't!
-I've got evidence. Why should Tam have to listen to him if he's carrying on behind my mum's back?!
-Ian! Didn't you hear me across the square?!
-Sorry, I've just been a bit distracted lately, that's all.
-I just wanted to make sure that there are no hard feelings over the Argee Bhajee.
-No, no. No hard feelings over the Argee Bhajee.
-Zee, if you want to get there quickly you'd better beat the traffic.
-Well, you know, it's just we've got plans for the Masood empire.
I know that the Argee Bhajee might have been a bit of a stretch for your little operation,
but for us it's a first step to a much bigger road to-- -If you don't mind, I'm trying to have a conversation with my wife,
So, unless there's something else you want to say to me... -What?!
-Anything you want to gloat about, Mas? -Ian...
-Gloat? we're just making polite conversation-- -Alright, come on Zee.
-Are you going to let him speak to me like that-- -He's not in the mood, Zee. Come on.
*sorry*
-So Tambo's given up everything to please that liar!
-That was cool, was it? -Caught ya. I saw you looking at him.
-Ooh, Ian!
Ian, can you help me?! I've got my foot jammed in the drain!
-Money! For the cab!
Thank you
-I'll try and get it out. I'll tell ya what, it's jammed, isn't it?! -Ah, silly me!
-That was close! -Yeah, well if you hadn't have warned me she would have pushed it.
-Yeah. You know, he will calm down. He'll be okay.
-Oh, thank you! Thank you! -That's alright. -What would a girl do without you?
-Syed, I don't want to keep coming back here and just arguing with you...
-Good! I'm glad because...I wanted to make it up to you!
-There you go Heather. -Uh, I ordered the tea...
-Well sorry Heather. You know, I've just finished at the Vic, managing here on my own, Ian's gone AWOL.
My head is somewhere else today. -Oh, you and Missus Branning.
-Why, what's up with Dot? -She's not feeling herself. You know, I think she's feeling old.
-Well I'll tell you what would make her feel twenty years younger: half an hour on Syed's massage-table!
-Eh, it was take-away...
-Stay away from my wife! I'm warning you, you stay away from my wife! You come near her again and I will kill you!
I mean, why do you think you can get away with it?! Give you a thrill, did it?! Going behind my back like that laughing at me!
-Ian, let go! Look, I know you're angry and you're right to be.
-Why doesn't Zainab know about this?! Why have I got to put with her shouting the odds?!
I mean, what would she make of this, eh?! -Please Ian, leave Zainab out of this.
Alright, okay. Go ahead and hit me. I deserve it.
-What?! -Yeah. Hit me, I deserve it.
-You mean I can hit you? -Ian, if it had been the other way...
Ian!
-This is the worst rishta ever.
-See? We're making jokes, laughing. -Defying parents...
-I don't blame your dad for hating me. I'm just not sure if I can change his mind.
What does, [[shrugged]], mean? -Well, dad doesn't really hate you... He's just being dad. I should go.
-Stay! Let's talk about something else.
So, Tam's going to be running his own restaurant. How about that then?
-You know if dad finds out about this he's going to go nuclear. So this was a bad idea. -I knew it was a bad idea.
-Let's stop worrying about him! Forget him, okay?!
I want you two to hang out, spend some time together. Get to know each other. No pressure!
-Why, Syed?! What, so I can take the heat off you by dating dad's nemeses' daughter.
-Nemeses? -Yeah?
-I don't think it's 'nemeses'. -Uh, possessive noun of 'nemesis'?
-Nemesis's? -'Nemesis's'? It's not 'nemesis's'!
-It's not 'nemeses'. -What are you talking about?! If it's a plural, or it ends in 'a', hang on.
-Right, Syed? -So what you gonna do when I prove you're wrong?!
-Look guys, do you want to take this outside? -Yeah, but if I'm right, I think you should rename the restaurant, 'Afia's'.
-Look, here! Take these keys and come back when you're ready! -What?!
-Eh, renaming it 'Afia is wrong'. How about that?!
-Bye! See ya!
-That's gonna need some ice.
-Just stay away from my wife...
-Well, you came around here to hit me, didn't you? -Yeah?
-Well, do you feel better?
-No, not really. -Right. Well then, maybe we should talk about this?
-I've got nothing to say to ya! -Put some ice on your hand.
You're in pain. Come on.
Aw, that was a good punch.
-I think it's fractured. -Is that helping?
Well, let's have a look.
Come on, I've had three teenagers. I know a broken bone when I see it.
Sorry, did that hurt? -Yes! -Oh, sorry.
Well, I think you just bruised it.
-How's your jaw?
-I'll live.
I'm sorry, Ian. You gotta believe me, nothing happened.
-But you kissed before...
-Yes. But,
I wouldn't lie to you about this. You know, we realised that this wasn't the answer. Jane's a wonderful friend, a lovely woman-
-I know! I married her! -Yeah well, if you showed her that every now and then, this wouldn't have happened.
-If you'd have kept your hands to yourself none of this would have happened!
Mas how do I know I can trust ya? I mean, you're not gonna tell your wife, are ya?!
-She didn't come to me because she wanted me. -Well why did she then?
-Because she didn't want you.
I'm sorry, Ian.
You put her in this situation, not me.
-So mum wants an open-plan kitchen here.
Don't laugh, but she does actually want a water feature there.
Yeah. She did say what she wanted over there, but I can't remember.
She did say... -Let's build a den!
-A what? -A den! Come on!
-Tamwar? -Ok!
-Get in!