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- Wa-cha!
Hiya!
- And now
dreamworks' kung fu panda:
Legends of awesomeness.
[gong rings]
- ♪ hear the legends
of the kung fu panda ♪
[scatting]
♪ raised in
a noodle shop ♪
♪ never seeking
glory or fame ♪
♪ he climbed
the mountaintop ♪
♪ and earned
the dragon warrior name ♪
Ooh! Ahh! Yah!
♪ kung fu panda
[scatting]
♪ master shifu saw
the warrior blossom ♪
♪ and master the skills
♪ of bodacious and awesome
♪ kung fu panda
[scatting]
♪ he lives and he trains
and he fights ♪
♪ with the furious five
♪ protect the valley
something something ♪
♪ something
something alive ♪
♪ kung fu panda
♪ legends of awesomeness
Sweet!
[wistful music]
♪
[all grunting]
- [exaggerated grunt]
And...
One.
[breathes heavily]
Ready, master shifu.
All limbered up.
- Good, panda,
because I've prepared
Something special for you.
- Is it pudding?
- It's not pudding.
It's a little something
I like to call
"the ordeal of 100 arrows."
- [screams]
- [sighs]
- Oh, a little
teamwork action, huh?
- I'm just going to demonstrate.
And I work better...
- Oof!
- Alone.
[metal clinks]
- That. Was. Awesome!
- A true kung fu master
keeps his composure
Even in the most dire
of circumstances.
- Master shifu,
it's mei ling!
- Mei ling?
Lock the doors!
Man the gates!
Double the guard!
- Mei ling? Oh no!
[gong rings]
- full alert! Full alert!
- Master shifu?
- No, no talk to time.
Danger!
Mei peril! Ling!
- It's mei ling!
It's mei ling!
- Who's mei ling?
- No idea.
Come on!
- [grunts]
- Master shifu?
- Hurry!
Battle stanctions!
Combat ziptiks!
Razza frapsit!
Razza frapsit!
- You heard him, guys!
Razza frapsit!
- [heavy knocking]
- Mei ling's here.
New plan: Hide!
- Wow. He's terrified.
- Me too.
- Don't worry, monk.
Just gotta banish fear
From our brain parts.
[deep breath]
Banish, banish, banish, banish,
banish, banish.
All right, mei ling.
Let's see what you got.
[battle cry]
Wha?
- Mistress mei ling.
- Mm, razza frapsit.
- Good to see you, zeng.
Miss me?
- Uh, maybe a little.
[inhales deeply]
Ahh.
- Mm, let me guess.
Shifu's students, right?
- Yeah, sorry, miss ling,
uh, you just missed shifu.
He's...Not here.
- Oh, such a shame.
I was hoping he'd be...
Hiding in that cabinet.
- Gah!
Stay back!
Don't come any closer.
- Why is shifu
so afraid of her?
- Because I can do this.
Yah!
[kung fu grunting]
- Whoa.
She's pretty good.
- Yah!
[both grunting]
- Shifu, you've really
kept up your strength.
- Oh, I, uh--oof!
- Men are so gullible.
- She beat shifu.
- [chuckles]
I always do.
He never could bring himself
to fight his own girlfriend.
- Girlfriend?
[faints]
Girlfriend?
- Ex-girlfriend.
And evil incarnate.
- Mm, so dramatic.
But yes, I suppose I was a bit
of a bad girl back in the day.
Shifu was a young prodigy.
I was a rogue kung fu master.
It was love at first fight.
We became quite the item,
but it couldn't last.
[ding]
[impacts]
- [groans]
- Shifu felt a higher calling.
- [grunts]
- But I used kung fu
as a way to make a living.
When I refused to change
my ways, shifu dumped me.
He cared more
about the honor of kung fu
Than he cared about me.
- That's not true.
I cared about you very much,
it's just that--
- Wait, I totally get it!
Mei ling doesn't scare you
because she can beat you,
She scares you 'cause you're
afraid you still like her.
- I, uh...
Po, that's ridiculous.
[all humming innocently]
- Your mouth says "no",
but your eyes say
"don't mind if I do."
Forbidden love, so romantic!
- Never.
Mei ling is a petty thief.
- That's what I came
to tell you, foofy.
- Foofy?
Oh ho ho, yeah!
- I'm here
because I want to change.
- I want to follow
the honorable path of kung fu
With you.
- I...
I don't know what to say.
- Sounds sincere to me.
- Ugh!
- Aah!
- Honor demands that I take you
at your word--for now.
You may stay at the palace
for a time.
But that doesn't mean
I trust you.
Not now.
Not ever.
[sighs]
[strumming sound]
- ¶ china moon, I love you
¶ china moon, do do do
- Stop.
- Master shifu.
What a surprise.
Just casually
sitting outside your door,
Playing a love song
to stir your inner wantings.
[strums]
- No more singing!
- Ah, more of an
instrumental guy.
[rapid strumming]
- Hiya!
- Silence is good too.
Master shifu,
I don't wanna get too personal,
But you're alone.
A lot.
Why are you so afraid
of getting close to someone?
- Out!
- Oof!
Aah!
- [sighs]
[checks breath]
I've come to apologize
for my earlier behavior.
- Having second thoughts
about me?
- Let's just say I'd like
to believe that you, uh,
People can change.
- Come inside
and let's talk about it.
- Well, I really
should be, uh...
- Yes!
- So, um, I like your,
uh, your room.
- This is your palace,
remember?
- Oh, yes, yes, of course,
I-it's that I--
I live here, yeah.
- Things weren't the same
once you left, foofy.
- I suppose I could
understand how--
- Things are going to be
different now.
I'm not letting you
get away from me this time.
- How can you be so--
Ugh!
- Mei ling?
What have you done?
- Relax, foofy.
I'm just borrowing your body
for a bit with this.
- A zhou deng soul gem.
No, you can't!
- Hiya!
I'm sorry, my love.
I need your team to do something
very dangerous for me,
And they'd never say no
To their honorable
master shifu, would they?
[evil laugh]
[metal clanks]
- Huh?
- Get comfy, foofy.
You might be down here
a while.
- Mei ling, I thought
you cared for me.
- Aw, foofy, I do care.
But you've always been bound
By the principles
of honor and goodness.
It's always stood between us,
but not for long.
- What do you mean?
- You'll see.
[blows kiss]
Later, handsome.
- Mei ling!
Mei ling!
- Guys!
Guys!
I have the best news
about shifu and mei ling.
- You're going to
mind your own business?
- [chuckles]
- better.
I think shifu may actually
get back together with mei ling!
- Might wanna slow down there,
cheetah boy.
- You're right, mantis,
don't wanna rush things.
Still, couldn't hurt getting
a jump on planning the wedding.
I'm thinking we go with
an autumn leaves thing.
Tigress, viper,
you'll be the flower girls
And of course,
I'll be shifu's best man, right?
Who else?
I know.
- Morning, team.
Time to get to work.
- Uh, great--
where's mei ling?
- Oh, that.
Things didn't work out.
- That's what
I'm tal--wait, what?
- It just wasn't meant to be.
Yes, mei ling
is beautiful, exciting,
And a little dangerous,
But I'm too stodgy
and unimaginative.
- True, but--I mean, I mean,
how will you ever get over it?
- Aw, don't worry, chunky.
I know just how
to forget her,
By losing ourselves
in a sweet, sweet caper.
- Hmm?
- I mean mission.
You know, mission thing
with honor,
For good and the like.
The imperial jewels will
be transported through town
On their way to the capital.
You will take out
the guards,
Steal the jewels,
and bring them back here.
- Whoa! You want us to rob
the imperial jewels?
- It's just a test.
The emperor's
concerned about security
And wants to make sure
the jewels are heist-proof.
- Oh, that makes sense.
- Consider it done,
master shifu.
- Thank you.
Your support and friendship
Means a lot to me,
tiger girl,
Bug guy,
and, uh, the rest of you.
- "bug guy"?
- Secret mission.
New nicknames.
Shifu's back!
Come on, guys.
- [chuckles]
- [grunting]
Can't quit.
I've gotta stop her.
- ¶ china moon, I love you
¶ china moon
¶ you love me too
- Zeng! Zeng!
- Yes, mistress mei ling?
Uh, master shifu ordered me
not to speak to you.
- Then let me talk to one
of the five or even...Po.
- I can't.
Master shifu just sent them
off on a mission.
Something about
the imperial jewels.
- So that's her game.
Zeng, listen,
shifu's not shifu.
I am and she's me.
Uh, I mean,
I'm her, I mean--
- Um,
I'll just keep sweeping.
- Zeng, don't go.
I'm so lonely.
[uneasy]
please keep me company.
- You want me
to keep you company?
- Yes, uh,
tell me all about zeng.
Where do you see yourself
in five years?
- Hopefully, far away
from that ungrateful shifu.
- Ungrateful!
How dare--
I mean, tell me more,
uh, handsome.
- He's on my back every day.
"zeng, sweep the stairs!
"zeng, draw my bath!
"zeng, find my buttons!
No, the other buttons."
But one day, I'm gonna look
shifu right in the eye
And I'm gonna say to him--
[crack]
agh!
- Men are so gullible.
- [gurgles]
- We'll stop here.
[both scream]
- I don't know.
This whole thing seems odd.
- Don't be silly.
Shifu knows what he's doing.
Now come on,
let's steal us some jewels.
- How?
Just fight our way in?
- You're right, bug guy.
We've gotta think
like criminals.
We'll need stealth, cunning,
wiriness, chicanery.
- We get the idea.
- Yes, you do.
Whoa!
[grunting]
- Halt!
- So, fight our way in?
- Works for me.
Oof!
- [battle cry]
Ya--aah!
- Hey!
[groans]
Ooh!
This is--ow!--
Harder--ow!--
Than I thought--ow!
[fading scream]
- Come on.
Hiya!
- Are we awesome thieves
or what?
- We're not done yet.
We still have to get
these jewels back to shifu.
- [gasps]
I'm too late.
Stop, all of you!
You don't know
what you're doing.
- Mei ling!
You've got a lot of nerve
coming here
After you broke
shifu's heart.
- She's here
to steal the jewels!
- Get her.
- Listen,
I'm not mei ling.
- Right.
Then who are you? Shifu?
- Yes, I am shifu.
Mei ling used
a zhou deng soul gem
To switch bodies with me.
You have to believe me.
- I say we end
her crime-committing,
Heart-breaking career
once and for all.
- Stop,
don't make me fight you.
- Lady, we're
looking forward to it.
[battle cry]
- Hiya!
[kung fu grunting]
- Oof! Aah!
- Wow, she is good.
- She obviously learned a lot
from shifu.
She fights just like him.
- I am shifu!
- Ready crossbows.
- This ain't good.
- Aim!
Fire!
[metal clinking]
- Huh?
Reinforcements!
[all grumbling]
- Shifu, it is you!
- Master?
- Shifu's a lady.
[chuckles]
- It's a good look for you.
- Mei ling sure went to a lot
of trouble to steal some jewels.
- It's more than that.
She thinks that
by destroying the honor
Of the jade palace,
I'll have no choice
But to come
crawling back to her.
- Whoa, that is devious.
- [chuckles]
women.
Ooh! Agh!
- We've got to get back and--
[horn sounding]
- Razza frapsit!
Razza frapsit!
[horn sounds]
- Attack!
[all shout]
- What are we going to do?
- Please, master, I'm sorry
I let mei ling get away.
Have mercy.
- Keep plucking.
I can't think with
these ridiculous eyebrows.
Chunky?
And you others.
Did you get the jewels?
Whoa, hey,
you caught mei ling.
- You can drop the pretense.
They know everything.
- I warn you,
I've been to your armory and--
What are you doing?
- The imperial army is right on
our collective tails.
- They think
we're all traitors!
- Like you wanted.
- I'm sorry, foofy.
I only wanted to get you back.
And the jewels.
But mostly you.
- Open up! Open up!
- They're here!
- And they sound mad!
- Open now!
- Let us in!
- We can still get away.
We'll be together,
just like before.
- We'll never get away,
mei ling.
But, for whatever it's worth,
I-I realize now
That I was a fool
to choose kung fu over you.
- Surrender or we'll burn
this palace to the ground!
- I'm ready to face
whatever happens
Because I've got you again.
- Oh, foofy.
- We can't hold them
much longer!
- We'll never survive.
How about...
One last kiss?
- Of course, my darling.
- [gasps]
You--you broke the spell.
How?
- You let me get close enough
to lift this.
Not bad, huh?
- What's the difference now?
The army, we'll be--
- [blows horn]
- [stomping]
- Oh, hey.
- Thanks, guys.
Very convincing.
- Happy to make up
for the misunderstanding.
- You still love
your precious honor
More than you ever loved me.
[kung fu grunting]
We both know that you can't
bring yourself to fight me.
- True.
But there are those
That would be more than happy
to oblige.
- Hi there.
- Oh, darn.
- Master shifu?
- [sighs]
- I just wanted to say
that I'm sorry
I butted into
your personal life.
- Oh, I've already
forgotten about that.
- Oh, and I also
forgot to mention
That mei ling escaped
on her way to chor ghom prison.
- [spits]
[excited]
she did?
That's--that's...
[serious]
uh, unfortunate.
- You totally still like her.
Even after all that?
- I...
[sighs]
it's complicated.
- Ah, forbidden love.
¶ china moon, I love you
¶ china moon,
you love me too ¶
¶ china moon, y--
Right.
I'll just go now.
- [hums song]