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Well, I set a meeting to pitch my harder hitting show to the Network. And gosh, I'd really
love to get into investigative journalism, you know. And this miserable comedy world
is driving me bonkers. Yeah, who's this? Who are you? I am Ahjun, you pasty pervert, who
are you? I'm a friend of Victoria's. You're a friend of Victoria's? I'm a friend of Victoria's!
That means we are friends! Ah, it's the Weava! I'm headed to Dubai. Nice, Ahjun, nice. Listen,
is Victoria there? Yeah, yeah, she's in the galley making me lunch. Oh, good. So, I was
hoping to speak to her about this cat she left me with. Okay, listen, did you not hear
me? She's make dosas right now. There's no way she can come here. Ena? No, no! Juhnalai,
no! Corocorbata. No! Because! You're making me angry very… No, how many times do I have
to tell you, no! No! Absolutely, not! Absolutely, not! Okay, yeah. Yeah, talk to you soon. Challo.
Okay, bye. Sorry, that's my cousin. He wants to borrow my cricket jumper. And I said, no,
it's not hygienic. You understand. You totally understand. Hey, Weava, tell me: Why are these
birds so angry? Because I keep crushing them into little tiny bits. That's why they're
angry–birds, angry birds. Ahjun, listen to me: Tell Victoria that I'm having her cat
declawed, alright? You, Weava. You and your crazy messages. Yeah, I'll pass it along.
Pilot, I've changed my mind. Can we go to Monaco? Please, now! Yes, thanks. Part of
Fred the Black Bear's sentencing was that he needed a work release signed for his community
service–a place for him to go and work. So hey, listen, it was a great opportunity
for me to pitch in and give him a job. He's gonna be working around the studio here. I've
just been so moved by him, and his plight–his people. And I think he'll be a benefit to
us here at the studio. And if it works out, I'd be happy to give other opportunities to
other Black ***. Thanks for coming back and doing some more segments for us, brother.
I…yeah, I can't tell you how much I enjoy the harder hitting, edgy stuff. You know,
investigative reports. That's the way I'd like to see the show go. Not just comedy.
I've always kind of fashioned myself after Geraldo Rivera. You know, hard hitting. So,
anyways. Appreciate it. There's some honey here, if you like. Hi, I'm animal lawyer,
Jones N. Keenan, and you're watching Heavy Petting. If you have a problem with the law,
give me a CAW-CAW! Give me a call. A call. I like my petting heavy! There he is. Mike
Woofer. Hi, how are you, guys? You are so tall! I always forget, you're like Charlton
Heston. Don't shoot! I get it. Cold, dead hands. So, what can we do for you today, mister?
Well, I've actually come here to pitch you guys. Ooooh. Intrigued. Yes, go on. Lately,
on Heavy Petting we've been doing some harder hitting segments, and it may or may not jibe
with the comedy on the show. Show what I was thinking was: A sister show on the Network
that is like a cross in style. Like a hybrid! Oooh, yeah. Hybrid shows are so hot right
now. Right, so what I was thinking was: A hybrid show that is based off the gritty investigative
reportage of one intrepid reporter that goes undercover and investigates these subcultures
operating on American soil, like the Masons and Barbie Dolls. Monster Truck rallies. That
kind of stuff. So the show is 50 percent history. 50 percent danger. 100 percent compelling.
And the name of the show is Mike Weaver's Melting Pot. Have you thought about a host
for the show? Yeah. Well, I would host the program. It's called Mike Weaver's Melting
Pot? Hmm… So, you would be the reporter who goes undercover to these subcultures?
Yeah, that's exactly it. And so, each week I would wear a different disguise, like a
fake nose, a bigger chin, some different legs. And I gotta tell ya, I see this show winning
an Emmy for investigative journalism. And an Emmy would look pretty good on everyone's
desk, right? Honey, I'm gonna be honest with you: It doesn't quite fit our mandate here.
Yeah. Yeah, we love as our comic relief, so we're gonna go ahead and soft pass on you
right now. I see. But I believe we have some openings this fall. So we should definitely
revisit this…again. Oh yeah. Set a date. I would love to hear this again. Yeah, I could
hear this again, like, let's say, October. Okay, October. Alright, good. Yeah. Great.
Alright. And just see one of our assistants on the way out, alright, Mike? Okay, yeah.
And keep us laughin'. Yeah. Because that's what you do. Funny! That's your thing. That's
your gift. Now, where'd the hell my string go? Oh, there you are. I see you.