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OK so Molly was born at home, and that was in Scotland and everything went
to plan. And the midwife left at 5 in the morning and we wondered who was going to turn
up to look after this little thing that had arrived. And for two or three days we just
thought that she had some swelling from the birth around one side of her face. But Beth's
sort of instinct took over and we went to the hospital and subsequently we found out
what we found out . But it was terrifying, because the first, the initial conversations
with doctors, who are essentially scientists about your child; they aren't complete statements.
"There's this problem and we don't know what it means and here's your daughter back". So
it was terrifying. I was miles and miles and miles and miles from any family and Beth's
folks live in the Shetland Islands and you know there wasn't a lot of support that wasn't
by phone. So, so that was really touch, actually. But we didn't really know what was going on,
probably for about 8 months or something. And we had lots of testing and things like
that and we came out of it and the response from those scientists was that they were quite
excited about it because Molly has a chromosome disorder that is unique. So here's these guys
being excited about some problems you've encountered and so we didn't stick with that guy very
long. We found a couple of very good people actually, Dr. Kirkpatrick, I can't remember
his first name, who helped us though that time. And then lots of trips to the eye hospital
and lots of trips on the Red Eye from Edinburgh and then back that day. And having to wear
a cosmetic shell and trying to put this into your daughter's eye whose screaming, and she
still screams actually and doesn't wear it. And there's a whole lot of stuff. And sometimes
it's just enough having a new child and then somebody says there's this whole lot of other
things and we don't know really what it means and that's your to deal with too right now.
And you just want to hand it to someone. You want those problems to go away, look I'll
deal with problems when I can. And that's the way I felt about it and going back to
the emotionally stunted thing, I didn't want to know about it, well let's just deal with
first issue first in that we have a baby but there were all these things amongst that that
were causing problems anyway. And that was where Beth was very good, you know, she's
a project manager, she put things in their pigeon holes and ticked them off, and chased
down answers and got the right people and was quite ferocious about it, but it was great,
because I wouldn't have done it, it's not really my way. So how was it, it was like
having a new baby and then having a whole load of unknowns let alone having to learn
how to change the napes. And looking back on it, it doesn't seem much of a big deal
but we spent a lot of time just holding each other, staying at home. It took about 12 weeks
to leave the house with Molly and that was for a family event and we went straight back
home. Very protective. Quite sensitive about it. I was falling asleep on my desk at work.
That sort of action and Beth was at home, terrified, with a child that had some problems.
Looking back it doesn't seem like such a big deal now, because we've come so far, but at
the time everything changed, immediately. And no-one expects a child to be born with
with it or doesn't deal with it very well. So that was a new conversation you needed
to have with your families and things like that because the first time you pick the phone
up and you say, 'It's a girl", "Oh, that's great", "What's her name?", "Molly", "OK,
cool. Is everyone well?" "No". It is such a huge thing to share your story. Part of
me wants to and part of you sort of goes, you don't want to, you sort of. Well Beth's
father I suppose described it best when he was over we talked about his wife, Patricia,
so she's got Alzheimers and Molly. And we sort of looked at them in the same way, and
said, well Laughton said, "I know what it means for me, I don't, you don't know what
it means for you in terms of what's going to happen. And when you go, what does that
mean as well?" And part of you just wants to protect those things and you put up these
barriers and you get a thick skin on it about you and your family. And it's that sort of
survival instinct, I guess. But in so many ways you realise by being insular and getting
a thick skin on it, that being all about yourself, you just shut yourself off from being able
to grow anyway (that sounds really bad "being able to grow"), but you know, being able to
accept, you know, who you are as a family and step out with that confidence that this
is who we are and Molly's vision doesn't define her or define us as a family.