Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
( theme music playing )
♪ NEED A NEW LOVE? ♪
♪ HEY, I'M READY ♪
♪ WANT MY TIME? ♪
♪ I'M WILLING, YEAH ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE ONE ♪
♪ WHO'S GONNA SHOW ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S NOBODY ♪
♪ I'LL BE YOUR MAN ♪
♪ YEAH, I'M THE ONE ♪
♪ WHO'S GONNA SHOW ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S NOBODY ♪
♪ I'LL BE YOUR MAN ♪
♪ I'LL BE YOUR MAN ♪
♪ ALL RIGHT. ♪
Ray's voice: EVERYTHING'S FALLING APART.
AND IT ALL STARTS RIGHT HERE IN DETROIT--
THE HEADWATERS OF A RIVER OF FAILURE.
THANK GOD MY PARENTS AREN'T AROUND
TO WATCH THE COUNTRY THEY LOVED GO TO ***.
THEY WERE PROUD AMERICANS.
THEY HAD NORMAL JOBS AND MADE A NORMAL LIVING.
THEY FIT IN.
THEY WEREN'T KICKED UP THE *** EVERY DAY OF THEIR LIVES
BY PROPERTY TAXES AND HOMEOWNERS' ASSOCIATIONS
AND GREEDY BEAUTY QUEEN EX-WIVES.
WHAT WOULD I TELL THEM IF THEY SAW ME NOW?
THAT I'M NOT TO BLAME? THAT'S IT'S NOT MY FAULT?
THEY DIDN'T RAISE ME THAT WAY.
THEY TAUGHT ME TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
AND GET THE JOB DONE. NO EXCUSES.
YOU DO YOUR BEST WITH WHATEVER GIFTS GOD GAVE YOU.
ANYBODY KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
Ray's voice: THAT'S WHAT I TRY TO TEACH MY KIDS TOO.
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.
IT'S A SCARA... BAE... INAE.
ANYBODY HERE TAKE LATIN?
IT'S A DUNG BEETLE, TEAM.
ALL RIGHT? SO WHAT'S THAT MAKE THIS?
DUNG?
- YES, IT'S DUNG, SCHENKEN. - ( boys laugh )
ALL RIGHT, BUT LET'S CALL IT WHAT IT REALLY IS.
- IT'S A BALL OF ***. - ( boys laugh )
SEE, EVERYWHERE THIS LITTLE GUY GOES
HE TAKES HIS BALL OF *** WITH HIM.
HE EATS IT, HE SLEEPS WITH IT,
HE TALKS TO IT AT NIGHT. THAT'S JUST HOW HE'S WIRED.
SO WHAT'S THE POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE HERE?
MORE MAN-TO-MAN COVERAGE?
NO, JERRY. WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY
IS THAT UNLIKE THIS BEETLE,
WE AS A TEAM CANNOT AFFORD TO TAKE OUR DUNG WITH US.
WE CANNOT ROLL IT UP INTO A BALL.
WE CANNOT PUSH IT UP A HILL.
WE SHOULDN'T EAT IT.
WE CERTAINLY BETTER LEAVE IT BEHIND
WHEN WE GET ON THE COURT TONIGHT AGAINST THE BADGERS.
*** HAPPENS, WE KNOW THAT.
RODELLE'S GIRL JUST BROKE UP WITH HIM.
PAZDERKA DROPPED A 40-POUNDER ON HIS FOOT.
- ( boys laugh ) - ONE MORE D IN CHEMISTRY,
AND KUZNESKI'S *** IS ON THE BENCH.
"WE GOT HEART." "WE GOT HOPE."
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE WE'VE BEEN WINNING ANY GAMES, FELLAS.
JUST LIKE LAST YEAR, IT LOOKS LIKE EVERY WEEK
WE'RE GOING TO GET OUR TEETH KICKED IN.
YOU OKAY, COACH?
YEAH, I'M FINE.
( inhales )
( exhales )
ALL RIGHT.
SO TONIGHT, LET'S LEAVE OUR DUNG IN THE LOCKER ROOM.
LET'S PRETEND WE'RE ON THE WINNING STREAK
WE'RE GOING TO START TONIGHT.
LET'S GO OUT THERE AND TEAR UP SOME BADGER ***.
- COME ON. LET'S DO IT. - ( cheering )
WOLVES ON THREE. ONE, TWO, THREE...
- All: WOLVES! - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO, GUYS.
LET'S GO GET 'EM. GO GET 'EM, DONOVAN.
COME ON. LET'S GO.
LET'S GO. LET'S GO.
KICK SOME ***.
COME ON, GUYS. LET'S GO.
OH, GOD.
RAY? YOU OKAY?
YEAH, IT MUST BE MY KIDNEY STONE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING NOW.
- SHOULD I CALL THE NURSE? - NAH, I'LL BE ALL RIGHT
JUST HELP ME UP.
( groans ) GOD. JESUS.
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.
I'M GONNA DRIVE MYSELF TO A HOSPITAL.
YOU GO OUT THERE AND RUN THE SYSTEM.
BUT I DON'T KNOW THE SYSTEM LIKE YOU DO, RAY.
PUT UP SOME SCREENS, GET THE BALL TO DONOVAN.
YOU'LL DO GREAT.
ALL RIGHT? I'LL TRY TO BE BACK BY FOURTH QUARTER.
JUST GO OUT THERE AND KICK SOME ***, MIKE. GO.
( horn blows )
( crowd cheering )
( thunder rumbling )
Ray's voice: OKAY, SO I LIED,
AND I'M MISSING A GAME DURING A LOSING SEASON.
I'M NOT PROUD OF IT.
BUT DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES.
YOU KNOW WHAT A PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER MAKES THESE DAYS?
OKAY, SO MAYBE WE MAKE A LITTLE MORE
IN MICHIGAN THAN THE NATIONAL AVERAGE,
BUT WHAT'S THE NATIONAL AVERAGE?
MORE THAN A WAITER, LESS THAN A PLUMBER.
IT'S ABOUT HALF OF WHAT IT TAKES TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR CAREER PAYS CRAP?
YOU DO A SIDE GIG.
USED TO BE STOCKS.
NOW eBAY MAYBE. TUTORING.
ME? I'VE GOT A MORE UNORTHODOX SKILL SET.
I'M IN THE OLDEST PROFESSION IN THE WORLD.
WELL, I'M ABOUT TO BE.
THIS IS MY FIRST DAY ON THE JOB.
HEY, IT'S BEEN A ROUGH COUPLE OF YEARS.
REALLY ROUGH.
IT ALL STARTED WHEN JESSICA SLAPPED ME WITH A DIVORCE.
20 YEARS, TWO KIDS--
A REAL PUNCH IN THE FACE.
I HAD TO KICK THE RENTERS OUT AND MOVE INTO MY PARENT'S HOUSE
WHERE I GREW UP FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
ONLY BRIGHT SPOT WAS THE TWINS
WHO SAID THEY'D RATHER LIVE WITH ME.
THEN CAME THE KIDNEY STONE
THAT WEIRDLY ENDED UP IN A PROSTATE SCARE.
BEEN HAVING ANY TROUBLE URINATING?
Ray's voice: THEN THE WOLVES UNPRECEDENTED LOSING STREAK,
WHICH EVERY WEEK BRINGS ME A NEW HUMILIATION.
AND THEN THIS PRICK LAWYER MOVED IN NEXT DOOR.
I'D ALREADY BEEN GETTING GRIEF FROM THE HOMEOWNERS' ASSOCIATION...
- OH, HI. - ...BUT THIS GUY WAS A WHOLE NEW LEVEL.
- HOWARD KOONTZ. - RAY DRECKER.
- WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD. - THANK YOU.
YOU SURE GOT A SWELL SPOT.
SAY, I'M HAVING A LITTLE OPEN HOUSE ON SATURDAY.
OH, THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU. THANK YOU.
SO I WAS WONDERING IF BETWEEN NOW AND THEN
YOU WOULDN'T MIND TIDYING UP YOUR LAWN A LITTLE
AND, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE CLEANING OUT YOUR GUTTERS.
Ray's voice: *** HAD ME HIT WITH THREE CITATIONS
IN THE FIRST SIX MONTHS ALONE.
- NICE TO MEET YOU. - YOU TOO.
Ray's voice: ***.
BUT NOTHING COMPARED TO THIS.
( clock ticking )
( glass breaking )
- Damon: DAD, WAKE UP! DAD! - ( pounding on door )
- WHAT? - DAD, WAKE UP!
( radio chatter )
WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?
WHERE IS SHE? YOU SURE SHE DIDN'T SAY WHERE SHE WAS GOING?
DAD, I'M SURE.
ANYBODY SEEN MY DAUGHTER?
( hip-hop music playing )
I THINK THIS MIGHT BE HER.
WHO'S THAT?
UM... IT'S...
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
- OH MY GOD! - HUH?
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
IT'S ALL RIGHT. THEY WERE ABLE TO CONTAIN THE FIRE.
HEY, YOU! HEY, YOU!
COME BACK HERE. WHO IS THAT?
- IT'S HAMMER. - HAMMER? WHO'S HAMMER?
- HE'S JUST A FRIEND. - COME ON, DARB.
ANY GUY NAMED HAMMER IS NOT A GOOD IDEA AT MIDNIGHT.
AND YOUR CURFEW IS 10:00.
WHAT DID I GIVE YOU A CELL PHONE FOR, HUH?
WHAT DID WE AGREE ON? YOU ALWAYS KEEP THE RINGER ON.
YOU ALWAYS ANSWER WHEN I CALL. NO EXCUSES.
- DAD, THE BATTERY DIED. - WHAT DID WE SAY?
- NO EXCUSES! - DAD, STOP. SHE'S FREAKING OUT.
- WHAT DID WE SAY? - THE BATTERY DIED.
( sighs )
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY.
LET'S HUDDLE UP.
ALL RIGHT. WE'RE ALL RIGHT.
ARE YOU WEARING LIPSTICK?
WHAT IS THAT?
ANSWER ME.
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?
JESUS.
- ( saw buzzing ) - ( hammering )
HEY, LOOK, WE'RE ALMOST DONE HERE.
YOU GUYS REALLY OUGHT TO GET SOME SLEEP.
YOUR INSURANCE WILL PAY FOR YOUR HOTEL.
WE'VE GOT INSURANCE, RIGHT?
OF COURSE WE DO.
WE'RE NOT STAYING IN A HOTEL THOUGH.
A BURNED-OUT HOUSE IS A PRIME TARGET
FOR THIEVES AND VANDALS.
WE'RE STAYING HERE. COME ON.
WE'RE GONNA SLEEP RIGHT HERE WHILE WE REBUILD.
WEATHER'S NOT COLD YET.
GET TO BE BY THE LAKE.
IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. WE'RE GONNA FISH,
WE'RE GONNA COOK BREAKFAST.
IT'LL BE LIKE CAMPING ONLY WE'RE AT HOME.
YOU WANT ALL THREE OF US TO SLEEP IN THE TENT?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
LATER ON TODAY WHEN WE GO SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES,
I'LL BUY YOU EACH YOUR OWN TENT. HOW'S THAT?
- ARE YOU CALLING MOM? - *** YEAH, I'M CALLING MOM.
Ray's voice: THE FIRE--
THAT'S WHEN I LOST THE KIDS.
- HOW'S IT GOING? - NICE DAY.
Ray's voice: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LIFE?
I USED TO BE A BIG DEAL.
I USED TO BE GOING SOMEWHERE.
NOW ALL I EVER SEEM TO DO
IS TRY NOT TO DROWN.
( beeps )
WHEN DID LIFE BECOME SOMETHING YOU BUY?
( coughs )
Koontz: SAY, DRECKER!
DRECKER!
YOU NEVER RESPONDED TO MY OFFER.
THESE ARE TOUGH TIMES IN REAL ESTATE--
WOULD YOU MIND GETTING OFF MY PROPERTY, PLEASE?
JUST TRYING TO DO YOU A SOLID, DRECKER.
THIS IS A TEARDOWN IF I'VE EVER SEEN ONE.
HEY, *** OFF, KOONTZ.
YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME.
Ray's voice: I NEEDED HELP.
( soul music playing )
( sighs )
( people chatting )
Ronnie: SO THIS PREGNANT LADY STEPS INTO MY OFFICE.
SHE'S GOT PSORIASIS...
Ray's voice: DR. RON HAXON, DERMATOLOGIST.
AND SHE SAYS, "DOCTOR, MY SISTER THINKS I SHOULD TRY ACCUTANE."
Ray's voice: OVERCOMPENSATING LITTLE *** WHO STOLE MY WIFE.
***.
LOTTE BRANDT, MY EX-MOTHER-IN-LAW.
LOOKS SORT OF NAKED WITHOUT HER BREASTPLATE AND HORNED HELMET.
WHAT IS THIS ONE DOING HERE?
HI, LOTTE.
DOES IT FEEL GOOD TO YOU
TO ALMOST *** MY GRANDCHILDREN
IN YOUR LETHAL HOUSE? HUH?
NO, LOTTE. IT'S WASN'T A GOOD FEELING.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AWAY?
- MOM. MOM. - HUH?
MOM, RELAX. I CAN HANDLE THIS.
- HI, JESS. - RAY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
JUST BEING SOCIAL.
YOU ALWAYS SAY STOP BY, SAY HI.
SO HERE I AM. I'M JUST-- I'M STOPPING BY.
OH.
SO HOW ARE THE KIDS HOLDING UP?
OH, THE KIDS ARE GREAT. THEY'RE INSIDE PLAYING WII.
- YEAH? - THEY'RE LOVING IT HERE, RAY.
DON'T YOU SPEAK ENGLISH? GO AWAY.
MOM, PLEASE. RAY'S WELCOME.
WE'RE JUST HAVING A NICE... TALK.
WE HAVE NO TROUBLES HERE.
Ray's voice: SHE WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS.
HE'S A DOCTOR! HE SAVES LIVES!
HOW MANY *** LIVES HAVE YOU *** SAVED?
HE'S A DERMATOLOGIST.
COME ON, JESSICA. WE WENT TO SCHOOL WITH THE GUY.
- HE'S A ***. YOU KNOW HE'S A ***. - HE LOVES ME, RAY.
- I LOVE YOU. - NOT ENOUGH.
PUT THE *** TULIPS BACK.
- *** OFF, RAY. THEY'RE MY BULBS. - TAKE THE ROSE BUSHES.
HE'S LOADED, IS THAT IT?
YOU THINK I'M THAT SHALLOW?
DO YOU REALLY THINK I AM THAT SHALLOW?
ALL RIGHT, YES, I AM A LITTLE SHALLOW.
BUT I AM DEEP ENOUGH TO ADMIT IT.
I'M MUCH DEEPER THAN PEOPLE THINK, RAY.
AND I AM ONLY SHALLOW BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE!
I AM A BEAUTY QUEEN, RAY,
A HOMECOMING, CHEERLEADING, STUPID *** BEAUTY QUEEN.
AND CLEARLY I MADE THE OBVIOUS CHOICE.
CLEARLY I WAS STUPID ENOUGH
TO HAVE COMPLETELY BOUGHT INTO IT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
GOD, YOU WERE MAGICAL.
IN HIGH SCHOOL YOU WERE A KING.
- Lotte: KING? - YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL
AND ATHLETIC AND TALENTED
AND SMART AND POPULAR.
AND HUNG.
WHAT AM I NOW, JESSICA? WHAT AM I NOW?
NOW YOU'RE JUST HUNG.
SO, RAY, IS THERE A REASON--
IS THERE SOMETHING THAT YOU NEED?
- YEAH. - UH-HUH.
I, UH--
LOOK, THIS IS HARD FOR ME, OKAY?
YOU KNOW I'VE NEVER ASKED YOU FOR ANYTHING BEFORE.
I JUST NEED TO--
I NEED TO BORROW SOME MONEY, OKAY?
WH-- OH MY GOD, YOU'RE KIDDING.
THAT'S WHY YOU CAME?
WHAT, THEY HIKED YOUR PROPERTY TAXES OR SOMETHING?
YEAH.
THAT AND THIS FIRE THING
IS REALLY PUTTING ME IN A BIT OF A FINANCIAL HOLE.
- LADIES, ENJOY. - THANK YOU.
DID YOU TALK TO YOUR CLAIMS ADJUSTER?
YES. SEE, THAT'S THE THING.
I MEAN, THERE'S BEEN SOME SORT OF A MIX UP.
YOU DIDN'T LET IT LAPSE AGAIN, DID YOU?
NO. I MEAN, SORT OF.
I HAD THE ENVELOPE RIGHT THERE
ON THE DESK READY TO GO OUT.
- JESUS, RAY. - HEY THERE, COACH RAY.
- HEY, RONNIE. - GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HI. HOW'S THE SKIN TRADE?
I CAN'T COMPLAIN. CAN'T COMPLAIN.
HEY, I HEARD ABOUT YOUR PLACE, MAN. THAT'S TOUGH.
YEAH, THANKS. I'M GETTING BY.
JUST, YOU KNOW,
THAT HOUSE WILL BE BETTER THAN EVER ONCE I MAKE THE REPAIRS.
GLAD TO HEAR IT. JUST GOOD TO HEAR IT.
HEY, RAY,
YOU MIGHT WANT TO HAVE THAT MOLE REMOVED.
- YOU KNOW, JUST TO BE SAFE. - YEAH?
DROP BY THE OFFICE ANYTIME.
DON'T WORRY, FREE OF CHARGE. GOOD TO SEE YOU, RAY.
LOOK, I'M ALREADY SCREWED WITH THE PROPERTY TAXES.
NOW I'VE GOT TO FIND A WAY TO FIX THE HOUSE
BEFORE THE CITY SLAPS ME WITH MORE CITATIONS.
PLUS I'VE GOT THIS ***, THIS KOONTZ SNIFFING AROUND
TRYING TO GET ME TO SELL-- AND CHEAP TOO.
SELL! SELL THE *** PLACE, RAY.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SOLD IT YEARS AGO.
I'M NOT SELLING MY PARENT'S HOUSE, JESSICA.
IT'S WHERE I GREW UP. LOOK...
WHAT I'M SAYING IS,
I'VE GOT MY BACK AGAINST THE WALL HERE, OKAY?
I-I'M IN THE ALAMO.
I'M NOT ASKING FOR A HANDOUT.
I'M ASKING FOR A LOAN, YOU KNOW, TO TIDE ME OVER.
I MEAN, IF IT WAS JUST ME, ***, I WOULDN'T BOTHER.
BUT I'VE GOT THE KIDS TO TAKE CARE OF.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE KIDS. I'VE GOT THE KIDS.
- WELL, UNTIL I FIX THE HOUSE. - NO, FOR GOOD.
THEY'RE GONNA COME BACK TO ME, JESSICA.
I'M MORE FUN AND RELAXED. YOU'RE TOO UPTIGHT.
HAVING MORE FUN WITH YOU ALMOST GOT THEM KILLED.
ALL RIGHT, FORGET I ASKED.
- JUST FORGET IT. - OKAY.
JUST WIPE IT OUT OF YOUR MIND.
OOH.
EXCUSE ME.
IS THIS "UNLEASH YOUR INNER ENTREPRENEUR"?
IT IS IF YOU WANT IT TO BE.
Floyd: I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A SECRET RIGHT NOW.
IT'S YOU.
THE SECRET IS IN YOU.
EACH ONE OF YOU HAS ALREADY PROVEN THAT FACT
JUST BY COMING HERE TONIGHT
AND YOU ARE ABOUT TO BECOME A MILLIONAIRE.
REPEAT AFTER ME--
I'M GOING TO BE A MILLIONAIRE.
( all quietly ) I'M GOING TO BE--
NO NO NO. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU AT ALL.
COME ON, WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.
I'M GOING TO BE A MILLIONAIRE.
( louder ) I'M GOING TO BE A MILLIONAIRE.
HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
A MILLION ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE, HUH?
LET'S KICK IT UP A NOTCH.
I'M GOING TO BE A MULTIMILLIONAIRE.
I'M GOING TO BE A MULTIMILLIONAIRE.
Floyd: YES! YES, THANK YOU.
SORRY, I JUST-- I COULDN'T FIND THE ROOM.
Floyd: DO YOU WANT TO BE A MULTIMILLIONAIRE?
BECAUSE WE ALL DO. TELL HER, CLASS.
All: WE'RE GOING TO BE MULTIMILLIONAIRES.
- WELCOME. - THANKS.
Ray's voice: ***, WHAT'S HER NAME AGAIN?
OH YEAH, TANYA SKAGLE.
THE POET.
"NIGHT MUSKET. THE SMELL OF FEAR THICK IN THE AIR.
IN THE REVOLUTIONARY SKY"...
Ray's voice: THE DISTRICT HAD A PROGRAM A COUPLE YEARS AGO--
A GRANT. YOU COULD GET THESE SO-CALLED LOCAL POETS
TO COME TO YOUR CLASS. ANY SUBJECT, ANY TIME.
I MEAN, THESE PEOPLE WERE AVAILABLE.
SO WHENEVER YOU COULDN'T GET YOUR LESSON PLAN FIGURED OUT IN TIME
YOU'D JUST CALL IN A POET.
THAT WAS LOVELY, AXEL.
IF THIS WERE ENGLISH CLASS WE COULD DISCUSS RHYTHM AND METER,
BUT FOR THE PURPOSES OF HISTORY CLASS,
I REALLY FEEL LIKE YOU CAPTURED THE FEELINGS
OF THE COMMON MAN FIGHTING FOR A DREAM.
COMMENTS, ANYONE? ANYBODY?
Ray's voice: I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER
THAN TO ACCEPT HER INVITATION FOR TEA.
( moaning )
OH MY GOD. OH GOD, RAY.
OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SO BIG.
Ray's voice: THE PATCHOULI OIL ALONE SHOULD'VE SENT ME RUNNING.
NOT TO MENTION VEGANISM
AND ALL THE YAKKING AND THE COMING
THAT HAD NO BEGINNING AND NO END.
OH!
Ray's voice: I NEVER CALLED HER AGAIN.
IT COULD BE A TALENT OR A GIFT
OR AN IDEA FOR A PRODUCT.
BUT THE WORD I LIKE TO USE IS TOOL.
SOMETHING THAT HELPS YOU GET THAT VERY SPECIAL JOB DONE.
SO FOR NEXT WEEK, YOUR FIRST TASK
IS TO IDENTIFY YOUR OWN TOOL.
THEN THE FOLLOWING WEEK WE WILL BEGIN TO DISCUSS
HOW TO MARKET IT.
EVERYBODY HAS AT LEAST ONE, SO NO EXCUSES.
RAY.
TANYA, HOW ARE YOU? HAVEN'T SEEN YOU AROUND IN A WHILE.
- OH YEAH, THE GRANT RAN OUT. - I HEARD, YEAH.
NO MORE POETS IN SCHOOLS.
I FEEL SO BAD FOR THE KIDS, ALL THE CUTBACKS.
UH, SO YOU WANT TO GET SOME COFFEE?
MAYBE SOME TEA.
OH, YOUR *** IS SO BIG!
OH MY GOD!
( moaning loudly )
OH MY GOD, RAY!
RAY, YOU'RE SO BIG! OH MY GOD!
Tanya: I LOVE THIS ONE.
"THERE IS SOME KISS WE WANT WITH OUR WHOLE LIVES,
THE TOUCH OF SPIRIT ON THE BODY.
SEAWATER BEGS THE PEARL TO BREAK ITS SHELL.
AND THE LILY, HOW PASSIONATELY IT NEEDS SOME WILD DARLING."
I LOVE THAT, "SOME WILD DARLING."
"AT NIGHT I OPEN THE WINDOW AND ASK THE MOON
TO COME AND PRESS ITS FACE AGAINST MINE.
BREATHE INTO ME. CLOSE THE LANGUAGE DOOR."
THAT'S THE MOUTH, THE LANGUAGE DOOR.
"AND OPEN THE LOVE WINDOW." THOSE ARE THE EYES.
"THE MOON WON'T USE THE DOOR, ONLY THE WINDOW."
RUMI, 13th CENTURY.
LOOK, TANYA, I'VE GOT TO TAKE OFF.
( opera playing )
SO IS THAT YOUR THING?
IS WHAT MY THING?
YOU KNOW, RAY.
BEING COLD AND DISTANT AFTER SEX.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. I'M NOT COLD.
I JUST-- I'M A LITTLE PREOCCUPIED, THAT'S ALL.
OKAY, RAY, WHATEVER. JUST GO.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHY I SLEEP WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY LIFE.
YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN GETTING TO KNOW ME.
YOU SEEM TO HAVE THE EMOTIONAL RANGE
OF A *** 12-YEAR-OLD.
LOOK, TANYA, I GOT A LOT GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY FOR GAMES.
( sighs )
IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO GET TO KNOW ME,
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HOPPED IN THE SACK SO EASILY. TWICE.
WHAT, SO NOW I'M A ***?
NO, BUT DON'T BRING A GUY HOME 'CAUSE YOU'RE ***
AND THEN ACT ALL WOUNDED AND MYSTIFIED WHEN HE DOESN'T STICK AROUND.
I MEAN, YOU LIKED WHAT YOU HAD THE FIRST TIME.
YOU WANTED IT AGAIN, FINE.
JUST DON'T FOOL YOURSELF INTO SOME ROMANTIC FANTASY.
I LIKED WHAT I HAD THE FIRST TIME?
YEAH.
UNLESS I'M DEAF.
WAIT, WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M REFERRING TO.
NO, RAY. WHY DON'T YOU ENLIGHTEN ME?
WELL, YOU KNOW,
YOU TEND TO COME A LOT.
I'M NOT SAYING IT'S A BAD THING.
I'M NOT CALLING YOU A *** OR SOMETHING.
YOU THINK I COME TOO MUCH?
NO, OF COURSE NOT. I'M JUST SAYING...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY-- I'M JUST SAYING IT'S A LOT.
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE SOME GENIUS IN BED.
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT?
NO, I'M NOT GETTING AT THAT.
I MEAN, OKAY, SO YOU HAVE A BIG ***.
I MEAN, WHOOPEE.
IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME I'VE HEARD THE NEWS, TANYA.
OH MY GOD.
YOU'RE AN EGOTISTICAL ***.
I NEED TO CHANGE MY SHEETS.
YOU KNOW, RAY, IF YOU THINK
THAT I WAS ONLY INTERESTED IN YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR BIG ***,
THEN ALL I FEEL IS SORRY FOR YOU.
I REALLY REALLY DO.
BIG ***.
WHAT DO YOU WANT, A PARADE?
OKAY, TANYA, I'LL SEE YOU IN CLASS.
WHAT AN ***!
( distant siren blaring )
HEY, RAY.
HERE'S AN IDEA. YOU WANT TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?
WHY DON'T YOU GO MARKET YOUR ***?
Ray's voice: SHE DEFINITELY MEANT IT AS AN INSULT,
BUT SOMEHOW I COULDN'T GET THE IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD.
( burps )
HEY, DAD. KNOCK KNOCK.
HEY. JEEZ, LOOK WHO SHOWED UP.
I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COMING.
IT'S THE DAMESTER.
ARE YOU DRUNK?
NO. I'M DOING A LITTLE RESEARCH ON ROOF REPAIR.
WHAT YOU DOING?
WELL, I WAS JUST ON MY WAY BACK FROM MILO'S HOUSE
AND I THOUGHT I'D CHECK UP ON YOU
AND SEE HOW THE CAMPING WAS GOING.
- SO HAVE A SEAT, BUDDY. - NO, IT'S FINE.
IT'S FINE, THANKS.
I WAS-- I WAS WONDERING, THOUGH...
CAN I HAVE 50 BUCKS?
50 BUCKS?
YEAH, GODHEAD TICKETS ARE GOING ON SALE
AND A BUNCH OF US ARE GONNA GO CAMP OUT IN LINE.
WHAT IS GODHEAD ANYWAY?
IS IT ONE OF YOUR GOTHIC OVERLORDS OR SOMETHING?
IT'S GOTH, DAD.
GOTHIC IS FROM THE MIDDLE AGES.
THIS IS GOTH.
SO YOU CAN CAMP OUT FOR GODHEAD BUT NOT YOUR OLD MAN?
I KNEW YOU'D SAY NO.
WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR FINGERNAILS?
NOTHING, DAD.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE A LOOK, OKAY?
YEAH YEAH. NO, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK WITH YOU ABOUT THAT.
LOOK, IF YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO--
YOU KNOW, THE LIPSTICK, THE NAIL THING,
- WE SHOULD DISCUSS IT. - THERE'S NOTHING TO DISCUSS.
FORGET IT. I'VE GOT TO GO.
HEY, DAMON, TIMES ARE TOUGH.
AND YOUR MOTHER AND I GIVE YOU AN ALLOWANCE, YOU KNOW.
HEY HEY, DAMON.
DAMON.
DAMON.
Ed: I'VE LIVED A LONG LIFE.
PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ASKING ME FOR MY ADVICE.
"ED, MY KID'S ON DOPE. WHAT DO I DO?"
"ED, MY WIFE'S STEPPING OUT ON ME. WHAT DO I TELL HER?"
ET CETERA, ET CETERA.
WELL, I'VE BEEN HELPING PEOPLE OUT FOR A LONG TIME NOW
AND I GOT TO THINKING MAYBE THAT'S MY THING.
I COULD TAKE AN AD OUT IN THE NEWSPAPER
THAT SAYS, "ED PHIPPS,
UNLICENSED THERAPIST.
NO NONSENSE ADVICE FROM THE GUY WHO'S SEEN IT ALL."
THEN I'D CHARGE BY THE HOUR
INSTEAD OF GIVING IT AWAY FOR FREE.
LIKE A CONSULTANT.
( applause )
Floyd: GOOD IDEA, ED.
I CAN SEE YOU'RE OFF TO A CRACKERJACK START.
WHO'S NEXT?
TANYA.
AHEM. WELL, I'M A POET,
SO WHAT I'M GOOD WITH ARE WORDS.
SOME PEOPLE DON'T VALUE WORDS AS MUCH AS I DO.
SOME PEOPLE DON'T PUT STOCK IN THEM
AND THEY CAN BE CASUALLY CRUEL WITH THEM.
SOME PEOPLE CAN BE VERY CRUEL.
BUT I'D LIKE TO THINK MOST PEOPLE ARE BETTER THAN THAT.
SO WHAT IS YOUR IDEA, TANYA?
LYRIC BREAD.
USING THE FORTUNE COOKIE AS MY INSPIRATION,
I PLAN TO CREATE AND MARKET A LINE OF BAKED GOODS
WITH A SHORT POEM TUCKED INSIDE.
A CROISSANT FOLDED AROUND MAYA ANGELOU'S
"PHENOMENAL WOMAN," FOR EXAMPLE.
OR A RAISIN LOAF
WITH ROBERT FROST'S "THE ROAD NOT TAKEN" SWIRLED IN.
MAYBE SOME OF MY OWN POETRY TOO.
Floyd: LYRIC BREAD--
FOOD FOR THE BODY, FOOD FOR THE SOUL.
I LIKE IT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, CLASS?
YOU MIGHT WANT TO LAMINATE THE POEM.
AHEM.
THEN AGAIN, YOU DON'T WANT THAT PLASTIC TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH, RIGHT?
BUT OTHER THAN THAT,
I THINK YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A WINNER, TANYA.
- Floyd: CERTAINLY DO. - ( applause )
WHAT ABOUT YOU, RAY?
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED YOUR WINNING TOOL?
YEAH, I'VE CONSIDERED IT.
I THINK I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
WHAT I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IS HOW TO MARKET IT
BECAUSE WHAT I'M DISCOVERING IS--
SLOW DOWN, RAY.
BEFORE WE CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR DREAM,
WE HAVE TO KNOW WHAT IT IS.
YOU HAVE TO PITCH IT TO US.
I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TO PITCH TONIGHT, FLOYD.
AND I REALLY DON'T THINK IT'S SOMETHING FOR THE GROUP.
NOW WHAT RAY IS GOING THROUGH IS VERY NORMAL.
FEAR. IT'S A COMMON STUMBLING BLOCK.
BUT THE WAY TO OVERCOME IT IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT,
VALIDATE IT, AND KEEP ON GOING.
DAMN THE TORPEDOES.
NOW WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT, TELL ME, RAY.
SAY IT. WHAT IS YOUR WINNING TOOL?
NO, WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT, SAY IT.
MY NAME IS RAY AND I...
I'VE GOT A BIG ***, FLOYD.
ALL RIGHT?
I'VE GOT A BIG ***. NOW WHAT THE HELL DO I DO WITH THE DAMN THING?
I'M NOT THAT SMART.
I'M NOT THAT TALENTED.
ANYMORE, ANYWAY.
I'VE WASTED MY YOUTH AND NOW I LOOK AROUND
AND EVERYBODY SEEMS TO HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING BUT ME.
I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.
I GOT A BURNED-OUT HOUSE,
A JOB THAT PAYS ***.
CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY MY TAXES ON TIME.
I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO BUY MY SON
A TICKET TO A *** ROCK AND ROLL SHOW, OKAY?
SO I'M PRETTY MUCH AT THE PRECIPICE HERE,
AND MY BIG *** IS ALL I'VE GOT.
GOT ANY ADVICE FOR ME?
Ray's voice: OKAY, I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SAY THAT.
I SAID I WAS GOOD WITH OLD CARS.
WANTED TO BE A MECHANIC.
( sighs ) WHAT A CROCK.
THAT NIGHT I SWALLOWED MY PRIDE,
BOUGHT A PREPAID CELL PHONE AND A BOX OF CONDOMS
AND PUT AN AD IN THE BACK PAGES OF "THE DETROIT EXAMINER."
AND I PAID THE EXTRA FEE
TO INCLUDE A PHOTO IN THE ONLINE EDITION.
( whistle blows )
PICK IT UP, PAZDERKA.
GOOD. NICE, MAKOSKI, NICE.
- COME ON. - ( phone rings )
MIKE, TAKE OVER FOR A SECOND, WILL YOU?
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. LET'S HUSTLE, LET'S HUSTLE.
HELLO?
UH, YEAH, YOU GOT DONNIE.
UM, THAT'S RIGHT, I SURE DO.
YEAH, I KNOW WHERE IT IS.
UNDER WHAT NAME?
UM, OKAY.
WAIT, THIS FRIDAY? NO, I'VE GOT A GAME.
I MEAN, SURE.
I'M GAME.
OKAY, YOU GOT IT.
SORRY, CASH ONLY.
Ray's voice: AND THAT IS HOW RAY DRECKER, TEENAGE SPORTS STAR
FROM THE LEGENDARY WEST LAKEFIELD CLASS OF '84,
WINNER OF A FULL BASEBALL SCHOLARSHIP
TO THE UNIVERSITY OF CENTRAL FLORIDA,
RECRUITED TO THE ATLANTA BRAVES
BEFORE BEING SIDELINED BY RUPTURED LIGAMENTS,
LATER THE SECOND WINNINGEST BASKETBALL
AND CROSS-COUNTRY COACH IN WEST LAKEFIELD HISTORY,
CAME TO BE STANDING IN FRONT OF THIS DOOR.
( knocks )
HEY, SUGAR. DONNIE'S HERE.
( chuckles )
( knocks )
SUGAR?
HEY, LADY!
HEY, LADY, YOU THINK THIS IS FUN FOR ME?
HUH?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND?
LOOK, I'M SORRY. I'M JUST-- I'M SORRY.
I REARRANGED MY WHOLE SCHEDULE JUST TO ACCOMMODATE YOU.
AW, FORGET IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST FORGET IT.
THANKS.
Tanya: RAY, IS THAT YOU?
- WHO'S THAT? - IT'S ME. IT'S TANYA.
TANYA?
CHRIST. HOW'D YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE?
THE PHONE BOOK. I TRIED CALLING BUT YOUR NUMBER'S DISCONNECTED.
NOW I SEE WHY. LOOK AT YOUR HOUSE. MY GOD.
YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE POEMS.
THE INK RUNS IN THE DOUGH.
I'LL HAVE TO PRINT THEM ON PLASTIC OR SOMETHING.
I BROUGHT YOU A SAMPLE.
IT'S A GLUTEN-FREE NERUDA CRANBERRY WALNUT BREAD.
THANK YOU.
OH, YOU ALSO LEFT YOUR GEL PEN THAT DAY AT MY HOUSE.
SO I THOUGHT I'D BRING IT BACK.
THAT'S NOT MY GEL PEN.
RIGHT, IT'S MY GEL PEN.
YEAH, LOOK, TANYA, I'M REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD, OKAY?
RAY, I DIDN'T COME HERE TO JUMP YOUR BONES, OKAY?
I KNOW WE'RE NOT DATING OR ANYTHING. I JUST--
I'VE BEEN REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT YOU.
- YOU WERE CONCERNED? - YEAH.
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN COMING TO CLASS.
WHY WOULD YOU PAY ALL THAT MONEY AND NOT GO?
BECAUSE I'M NOT VERY GOOD WITH VINTAGE CARS, ALL RIGHT?
I LIED.
THAT'S NOT YOUR WINNING TOOL?
NOPE.
Tanya: "BIG DONNIE.
WILL GIVE YOU EVERY INCH OF HIS LOVE."
WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME THIS?
THAT'S MY AD.
THIS IS YOU?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISN'T YOU.
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT GAVE ME THE IDEA.
TO BE A MAN-***?
RAY, THAT'S DISGUSTING.
THAT'S PATHETIC.
WELL, I'M A PATHETIC KIND OF GUY.
LOOK, TANYA, WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE 40?
I'M 38.
ALL RIGHT, THEN DON'T BE SO INSULTING.
OKAY, I'VE GOT SOME FLAWS, BUT YOU'VE GOT NO JOB,
YOU'VE GOT NO KIDS,
AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO START MAKING A BUNCH OF POEM BREAD.
WAIT A MINUTE. I DO HAVE A JOB.
I'M AN ARTIST.
YEAH, BUT RIGHT NOW YOU'RE A TEMP.
RIGHT?
BIG DONN-
SO DID YOU HAVE ANY LUCK WITH THIS?
YEAH, I WENT ON MY FIRST THING TODAY.
AND?
AND..
SHE CHANGED HER MIND.
SHE WOULDN'T EVEN OPEN THE DOOR.
SHE JUST TOOK ONE LOOK AT ME THROUGH THE PEEPHOLE.
- COME ON, DON'T LAUGH. - I'M SORRY.
I DON'T THINK IT'S FUNNY. I THINK IT'S SAD.
IT'S LONELY PEOPLE.
IT'S JUST NOT ME.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT MY OPINION,
IT'S THIS AD OR PERSONA OR WHATEVER.
BIG DONNIE? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
WHAT KIND OF CLIENTS DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GONNA ATTRACT WITH THAT?
DID I ASK YOUR OPINION?
I'M JUST SAYING YOU NEED TO SELL YOURSELF BETTER.
AND THEN YOU CAN GET INTO A SITUATION
WHERE YOU FEEL MORE CONFIDENT AND MORE PROTECTED.
AND FRANKLY, YOU NEED TO ADD A PHOTO.
I DID THAT ONLINE.
OF YOUR FACE.
ARE YOU *** KIDDING ME?
TANYA, I'M A HIGHLY- RESPECTED EDUCATOR.
NOBODY CAN KNOW WHO I AM.
RAY, YOU MISSED THE CLASS IN CREATIVE MARKETING.
THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS YOU CAN SELL YOURSELF.
LOOK, IF YOU WANT I CAN HELP--
WHEN I'M NOT WORKING ON LYRIC BREAD.
PFFT.
YOU WANT TO HELP ME SELL MYSELF?
YEAH. I MEAN, NOT FOR FREE.
MAYBE FOR LIKE A PERCENTAGE
OF SOME KIND.
YOU WANT TO BE MY ***.
YEAH.
HEY, DAMON.
DAMON!
DAD?
HOLD ON. I'LL BE QUICK.
DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
JUST SAYING HI.
LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A PRETTY GOOD SPOT.
BEEN CAMPING ALL NIGHT, HUH? WOW.
YEAH.
HEY.
I THOUGHT THIS MIGHT COME IN HANDY.
OH, NO NO NO, DAD. IT'S FINE.
RONNIE ALREADY GAVE ME EVERYTHING I NEEDED.
LOOK, YOU SPEND RONNIE'S MONEY ON SOMETHING ELSE, OKAY?
THIS IS FOR GODHEAD.
Ray's voice: YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT SEEM STRANGE,
BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS
I FELT PRETTY GOOD.
( R&B music playing )
♪ AM I A GOOD MAN? ♪
♪ AM I A FOOL? ♪
♪ AM I WEAK? ♪
♪ OR AM I JUST PLAYING IT COOL? ♪
♪ I HAVE A WOMAN ♪
♪ AND I KNOW SHE'S NO GOOD ♪
♪ BUT STILL, I KEEP MY HEAD UP HIGH ♪
♪ AND TRY TO DO THE THINGS THAT A GOOD MAN SHOULD ♪
♪ AM I A GOOD MAN? ♪
♪ AM I A GOOD MAN? ♪
♪ AM I A FOOL? AM I A FOOL? ♪
♪ SHE HAS MADE ♪
♪ MY WHOLE LIFE A MESS ♪
♪ BUT STILL I WORK DAY AND NIGHT FOR HER ♪
♪ OH, SO SHE CAN ALWAYS HAVE THE BEST ♪
♪ AM I A GOOD MAN? ♪
♪ AM I A FOOL? ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, AM I A GOOD MAN? ♪