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Sex. Phwoar. Whoever it's with and whatever your into, within reason, sex is brilliant.
But what if you're not so much into getting it on as getting it with things you get on.
Yup, it seems that when times get tough... People have sex with transport.
25-year-old Andrew Davidson has been given community service after sexually assaulting
a drinks trolley on a train in Scotland. The 25-year-old, apparently off his trolley on
drink and legal highs, tried to come onto the cart's operator, scaring her so much she
jumped train at Dundee station, leaving Davidson free to have his dirty way with the poor innocent
drinks cart, snacks and all. Once he'd finished he promplty fell asleep on the floor, not
even so much as a cuddle. Pfft, men. And was arrested.
Sufficed to say the snacks may have contained traces of nuts.
But that's not all, to Scotland once again where in 2007 51-year-old Robert Stewart was
caught by hotel staff in Ayr simulating a sex act with a bike in his room. Cleaners
at the hostel walked in to find Stewart riding the bike, so to speak, naked from the waist
down. The bike's bell wasn't the only one jangling away that morning. We've had to blur
the bike for it's own protection.
That's not the only example, though, in June 2013 CCTV in Sweden, set up after one unhappy
cyclist kept finding his tyres slashed, caught a little more than he bargained for - a masked
intruder approaching his cycle before having his way with it and stabbing the wheels. Sufficed
to say, the sex was a let down for all involved.
To America now where in 2009 Amy Wolfe, a church Organist, announced she was planning
to marry a magic carpet fairground ride after a ten year relationship. Amy planned to change
her name to Weber, after the manufacturer of the 1001 Nachts ride at Knoebels Amusement
Park, which she visited at least 10 times per year. Amy has objectum sexuality - a ***
attraction to inanimate objects, which is actually pretty common. So serious was she
about the relationship that she even carried it's spare nuts and bolts around in her pocket.
Not sure how that one turned out, after all fairground attractions are known to be players,
they're just out for a good time.
Meanwhile, Edward Smith, of Washington state, clearly has plenty of energy under the hood
having slept with at least 1,000 cars. And the helicopter from airwolf, which didn't
count because it was on his list of celebrities he's allowed to. Ed has admitted in the past
he doesn't have a type, he's been with Fords, Opals and Volkswagens in his time, and says
he loves each and every one of them.
And finally, to Sudan and this one is maybe a little bit of a cheat, where in 2006 a man
called Mr Tombe was forced to marry a goat after being caught in the act with it. The
goat's owner, obviously a little peeved, took Tombe to a court of elders who said that,
since he was usign it as his wife, he should pay $50 to the goat's owner, and marry it.
Which he did. The goat was handed over to Mr Tombe and, as far as anyone knows, they're
still happily married.
So there we have it, whether it's planes, trains or automobiles, there's no limit to
where some people will stick it.