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Good Girl Syndrome
Nice girl syndrome.
Let's talk about the good girl behavior.
My name is Elena Semenek and welcome to my channel
"Psychology of Happiness", where happiness is the purpose of life.
So who is a good girl?
THE GOOD GIRL is loving, caring, supportive, amazing person.
She is going to help everyone on the street in the store.
She is going to be the greatest daughter, the best friend, the best coworker worker.
If you need help at work, she will help you to do your project.
If a boss will ask her to stay late, she will and she will finish everything that the boss
will ask her to do.
She will be a volunteer helping other people for free and if she needs help and you cannot
help her, if you say NO to her, she will be OK with that too because she cannot be mad,
she cannot express her anger, she cannot express her negative feelings.
She is loving, caring and understanding person.
So if she needs help and you cannot help her for some reason, she will be OK with that.
So the good girl is the person who leaves for others, who is helping others.
She's a great mother.
She's always there for her children.
She's the best wife because she's always supporting and she's always on her husband's side and
she'll never say NO.
So the only person that she will never help is herself.
The sad part of being the good girl is that people are gonna use you and that's really
sad because at some point of your life you will understand that people are using you
more, and more, and more, and you're not gonna feel happy.
You're gonna feel disrespectful, you're gonna feel sad.
You will feel lonely and at some point, you can get into deep, deep depression.
So what to do?
How can you get rid of this "good girl syndrome"?
That's not that easy and I recommend not to do it on your own.
I recommend going to a therapist, to a life coach...
but if you want to try it on your own, it's possible.
It's hard, but it's possible.
What you have to do is just one thing, you have to become a BAD girl.
So you need to do the opposite.
You have to allow yourself to be a bad girl.
You have to allow yourself to express your anger.
You have to allow yourself to say NO.
You have to take care of yourself first and then of others.
So when someone is asking you to do something for them, for a second, think inside yourself
that you are a bad girl.
So, I'm a bad girl.
I'm a selfish girl and what a selfish person will do in this situation and then do it.
And what's going to happen?
The whole world is going to turn against you.
And people will start blaming you.
At first they will say, is everything okay with you?
You've been stressful lately.
What's wrong?
Are you okay?
Is something happen?
And then they will start blaming you.
They will say, why are you talking to me this way?
Wow.
I just ask you for a small favor.
Wow.
Don't be so mean.
Wow.
Don't be so rude.
What's wrong with you?
You've never talked to me this way.
So people will start blaming you, put a lot of guilt on your shoulders because they will
try to put you back in the "good girl" position so they can continue using you.
Of course, they will not do it on purpose (I hope) but this is the natural way of reacting,
so you have to be really, really strong, to face bad reaction and it's not gonna be from
one person.
It's going to be from everyone, your family, your friends, your coworkers, your boss, and
that's why it's very good if you have a therapist or life coach who can give you extra support
in this situation.
You have to keep this going, the selfish, the bad girl behavior, at least for one month
and at some point people will start realizing that you are a different person and some people
will just disappear from your life because they can not use you anymore.
They will disappear and they will no longer be your friends, which is totally okay.
You don't want people who are using you in your life, right?
Other people will start considering your opinion.
We'll start respect in your desires, will start to respect you as a person, and at that
point, little by little, you will start changing your life
so little by little, you will start saying NO,
and little by little you will start to take care of yourself
The whole process can take 6-7 months, maybe a year, but little by little.
It's going to be easier.
The first month, maybe first two months is gonna be critical.
It's going to be the hardest time ever, but after that, new people will come into your
life.
Selfish, bad people will disappear from your life, and other people will start respecting
you, and you might get a better position at your work.
You might get better friends in your life.
You will have better self-esteem.
You will feel more confident and your life will be happier every day.
If you would like to know more about this topic, leave your comments below, ask you
questions,
and if you're a "good girl" - Good luck!
You have to change this, not for anyone else, but for yourself,
and if you would like to know "how to be confident", "how to be noticed", I will leave the links
to other videos below this one in the description.
Check them out and please share this video with your friends.
Posted it on your twitter, facebook.
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thank you for watching
"Psychology of Happiness", where happiness is the purpose of life!