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-Thanks to newly developed technology, we here at
"Late Night" now have the ability to record the tiny voice
that is inside Donald Trump's head.
And you might be surprised to know that, like everyone's
inner voice, Donald Trump's is filled with paralyzing fear
and self doubt, it's easily distracted.
So here is The Tiny Voice in the Back of Donald Trump's Head.
♪♪
[ Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" plays ]
-♪ Across the plains of Texas ♪
-[ As Trump ] Hey, Donald. It's the tiny voice
in the back of your head, and I'm here to tell you
it's speech time --
your favorite time of the day where you get to make
a big old rambling speech.
And now, just wait for the song to end.
Oh, you know what you should do? Double Shake Weights.
Give them the ole double -- there it is,
double Shake Weights.
[ Laughter ]
Okie doke.
Duke up a point, pretend you recognize people.
Oh, that's good.
That's very believable.
A couple more claps, a wave, double Shake Weights.
Seems like there might be a little bit more to the song
than you remembered.
Oh, you came out too early and you know it.
Now the waves are a little sad and your arm's getting tired.
Oh, that's -- Oh, I like that.
A point and a wave.
You're having to use the whole arsenal here because
you came out so early, you dummy.
Big old wave, that's good.
Ooh, more song.
You're killing me.
We get it. You love the USA.
[ Light laughter ]
Ughh.
Oh, you used point already.
You're repeating moves. Shake Weight.
[ Laughter ]
This is the worst. Oh, yeah, you can tell
from that smile that you fully hate this now.
Oh, you want to go to bed.
Thank you. Yeah, thank you.
Thank you for being here and watching me point and clap like
a big old dummy.
[ Laughter ]
Shake Weight.
-♪ God bless the USA ♪
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]