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Space! the final frontier
This are the cheap voyagers of starship tenderprice
To explore strange new forms of irony and humor
To boldly go where no fool has gone before!
Captain log, stardate 62.4.5, 001 for callers outside USA
we are orbiting around a unknow planet
The Tenderprice is out of fuel for a strike of galaxy gas stations
What about the planet Mr. Speck?
Yes Captain, my eyes dcant lie!
its a planet class........
Mmhhhh! Mmhh.......
Sorry Mr. Speck?
M. Captain.. M Class!
Mr. Check Off, Check the planet!
Mr. Zulu, WORP!
What the hell you're doing?
But you asked me to Burp!!
I asked you the Worp Speed!!
Oh! i'm sorry!
Give me half an hour for the calculations!
Captain, i understood the reason why the Tenderprice is out of fuel!
And how it happened Mr. Speck?
I think because a fabric space-time split!
Not just only the fabric space-time i see!
Eh eh eh!
Mmhh...?
Fascinating!
Mr. Scottex, come on the Bridge!
But Captain, i'm already on the Bridge! which Bridge you mean?
Ah! Forget about it! go in the transporter room!
Ops..!
Tenent Hurine! receives signals from the planet?
eh! yeah yeah you're right you're right..
no no! my dear.. i'm very emancipated you know this...
But i knew that he was a Pork!!
yes! but now I tell you everything because I'm too familiar with you!
in pratically.. at the Galaxy Discount
there was the Commodore...with his friend Amiga and Vic 20...
that maniac touched my Butt.....
Yes Indeed!
TENENT HURINE!!
Yes.. Emm.. listen Georgie, Captain Krik calls me!
yes is angry!!
Ok ok, ok, I'll call you later okay?
yes yes... dont worry i call you later!
ok, bye my dear, bye bye!
Please guys, The situation is very serious, we dont have more fuel, and most importantly..
we have one gondal in failure!
For all pigeons!! my Oar is Broken!
so I ask you to be active, bright, focused and Awake!
but what the hell's going on?
Krik and Speck!!! please HELP!!
No no no! want you dirty the floor?
But i'm the Captain!
Captain! dont worry, this is a job for my sicilian grip
That's Right! proceed Mr. Speck!
Congratulations Captain Pike! Vacuum Cleaner Today?
Excuse me Miss, you have a bug on the shoulder!
WHERE?
Ahhh! Speeck!! SPEECK!!
Help!! Ahhh!
Is Dead Jim!
Mmhh...?
Who are you sweety? the greengrocer's son?
Captain's log
Mr. Speck has regained consciousness
We are ready to land on the planet cromicon , to find the fuel for our Tenderprice
Emh.. What is this bad smell Mr. Speck?
Well... you see captain...
Come from 20–90% of Nitrogen
and 0–50% Hydrogen and Oxygen
Continue!
and a little quantity of Methane like 0–10%
and the Carbon dioxide of 10–30%
That is the result of the protein decomposition!
Emmh! i understood Mr. Speck but...
for be more quick?
I farted Captain!!
Good...
Mr. Scottex we are ready for the Transporter?
Eheh! well I'm trying captain!
i hope the strike of teleporters is ended!
Good Scottex!
ENERGY!!
Energy?? AH!!
Everybody Dance Now!!
FASCINATING!!
Oh... oh God.. my Heart...
What the hell you're doing Scottex?
Energy for the Transporter!!
Oh! sorry.. yes.. right i'm going!
This!! no... this other one! it comes eh!
Good!
Re Energy!
Planet Cromicon
Trouble again at the Transporter!
We are Desolate Mr.?
Doctor!
Doctor Who!!
Fascinating...
That Doctor that travels in time with his Cabin?
or i should say... his Cabin..et!
this is too much!
i cant never relax!!
even in a planet lost in time!!
GET OUT!!
We apologize!
Better go away! Doctor wants to be alone in his necessity moment
we are desolate!
GET OUT!!
good reading!
Detect life forms Mr. Speck?
i'm not sure Captain!
But you know how to do?
oh! but of course!
i have to push the Rec Button!
Yes... this is the procedure!!
So! this intelligent life forms?
Negative Captain!
No intelligent life form!
Microscopic life forms?
What's this?!
Maybe we are captain!
I found traces of microscopic life forms!!
Mr. Speck!!
I'm mortified Captain!
Good!
But! Self-Control Mr. Speck!
But Captain, this time it wasn't me!
And who then?
ONE QUESTION!
FINALLY!
from centuries i'm waiting one question!
Fascinating Captain!
a Chronovisor!
a kind of time portal!
i understood its for realtime Weather!
but what realtime weather stupids!
i can show you the past!
or the present!
but i can show you especially this!
and who is this guy?
its the future captain!
it's you in the future!
comeone captain!
it's not too bad as it seem!
But there's something for you too Mr. Speck!
Really??
this is your future!
ah ah ah! we prefeer... the past!
dont you think Mr. Speck?
absolutely captain!
especially the spaghetti!
Spaghetti Mr. Speck?
i said past! not pasta! the temporal past!
oh! temporal is passed?
it's true! you're right! this is a beautiful day!
sometimes your pointy ears dont work very well!
What you said?
Nothing, nothing!
Portal!!
this isn't my name!!
Hole?
Wrong!
Entrance!
neither!
Access!
Niet!
Doorway!
Nein!
Tunnel!
Nada!
Door!
Too Simple!!
Exit?
try again!
Guardian!!
Wrong Again!
My name is John!
John Smith!
FASCINATING!!
Ok John! would you be able to get us back in time?
for example the ancient Rome!
''You know i mean Cars age''
Of course!
you think you're speaking with a donut rock?
however, there's a little price to pay!
and so..?
you've to wait the advertisement, i'm sorry...
is the Galaxy emperor Berluskon that enforces the laws!
Berluskon berluskon... this name is very familiar to me!
but captain... he's also the highest supreme chief of our confederation!
But of course mr. speck! the highest supreme chief.....!
''Buy now the new Time Washing machine, your clothes will be dry before being washed,
''it's a Titor Brand mark''
i dont trust much about this planet mr. speck, better call a security guard!
mr. scottex send me a guard!
hem which one? the usual?
no! the sacrificial victim!
Security sacrificial victim guard Gustavo Nova.
here it is! i bet two bars this time!
Two plutonium bars? are you sure captain?
you're aware about the survival statistic of our security guards!? that are one in a million!
yeah, but this specimen seems to be strong and hard!
yes yes, this is very fascinating!
stop to betting mr speck!
but.. captain!!
you're wasting my time!
the time door has no time to lose!
exact retarded guys!
get ready to ride the dimension of space-time!
Ancient Rome.
well.. we asked Rome and this is it!
yes... but i dont think we'll find any Gas station here captain!
i think so too...
who are these Clowns?
must be new gladiators from Ostia, Caesar!
Re-childed!!
take them away from me!!
hear mr speck, footsteps...
footsteps noise!
you're right captain, i hear too
could be some of......
Sorry??
Mr. Viking i'm the captain of the starship Tenderprise...
if you leave me we could made an agreement!
Dont worry Captain! i'll do my mortal grip!
let the four-legged come in!
captain krik.....?
mr. speck......?
krik??
speck!!
GROAR!!!
What is this smell of wild beast?
would be dangerous?
the Tiger is out!
oh my gooooood!!
damn mr. speck!
locked in a jail inside the Coliseum!
well it could be worse captain!
yes? and how?
well... might be raining!
Humm..?
Fascinating...
or better... fasciraining!
mr. speck!
we are in a parallel spacetime!
it's possible to connecting the subatomic valves and...
combining the spatial-algorithms for communicate to our starship?
in few words you wanna call tenderprise!
that's right mr. speck!
good captain... just press ''0'' button, and dial the number...
ow..! of course, but sure! this i wanted to say!
''we informing you that your credit balance is over, thank you for using our space-company''
what's up captain?
but what she meant?
my sicilian intuition drops all my suspicions to a single person!
yes yeees.. dont worry about that! i can talk anytime anywhere!
because we have full inclused.. full inclusion!! that things inclussed you know i mean dear..
now they are losted in the space-time... spices-temples... this things i dont understand at all my dear... yeah yeah...
for a misunderstanding John Smith wrong historical period, but now we are in 2010!
now we are mr. speck!
it seem Rome at cars age!
even if there's no trace of cars!
RETARDED ***!!!
Yes...!
sure is Rome at cars age!
or bus-age i guess!
now we have only to find a gas station!
look there captain
should be one of those devices used to distribute fuel for spacecraft!
let's check it out!
and here we are mr. speck!
it seems to be the equipment for the fuel distribution!
but.. look what it say...
insert money!
Hmm! Fascinating captain!
it should be an archaic exchange method
but we dont have Money!
my sicilian intuition...!
tells me that money...
is the equivalent of concentrated radioactive plutonium!
then we are in truble mr. speck!
where we could find... concentrated radioactive plutonium?
by chance, i always carry a piece with me into my tricorder!
really mr. speck? show me!
give me a minute!
it should be here somewhere!
Lipstick!?
lip gloss!!
AH!!
good mr. speck, insert it softly into the machine!
Et voilà!!
Gosh!!
was sure it works?
emm..! but.. absolutely captain!
very strange...!
let's go!
let's find another one!
nothing mr. speck!
your idea doesn't work!
better let's check it out another gas station!
well...! you're absolutely right captain!
FASCINATING!
i heard... a little noise like a vibration!
MR. SPECK!
was sure that your radioactive plutonium bars... was good for that machine?
well.. but! of course captain!!
Good!
Go..! go go better get away from here!
look mr. speck! a rocket sign!
certainly a fuel distribuition machine!
Fascinating captain!
seem different brands of propellant
i see! also lubricating!
all ensure they are durable..!
retardants...?
no! no! for our starship we need something much...
STIMULANTS!!
check for stimulants!
***..?
aphrodis.....Aphrodisiac??
No!!
ow! here is!
take it!
and so?
captain...
something strange...
it says only for adult, what could mean?
i'm into this range?
well, considering you have about 200 years, i think you can consider yourself a little man!
Understood...!
you can use my credit card!
Fascinating!
what strange captain... essence of strawberry!
yes they where very carefully about the ecology of the planet!
twenty-four thousand gallons of fuel into a so little box?
well, it must be very condensed fuel!
Mr. Scottex! transporter for two!
someone has replaced my Vulcan Spice with this strange fluid!
Hmm..!
Emo-Blonde!
of course no one knows anything!
Hmmm!
Written and Directed by: Fabio Salvati