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I know you're meant to be abrupt,
but that's a bit stark.
I'm always stark with liars.
I'm drawn to you.
And I'm drawn
to other women.
Back off, Wickham.
I know you.
But I don't have the pleasure.
Get used to it.
Allow me to introduce Mr Collins.
What a bloody mess!
We cannot in all conscience detain
you further with our hospitality.
You will leave my house.
You're such a disappointment
I can't bear to look at you.
You are an abomination, madam.
Good afternoon.
(*** CROWING)
(THUDDING)
Elizabeth, I'll tell you this
for free.
If we don't get through this door,
I'll have to do something drastic.
(THUDDING)
Oh!
Whatever do you do, sir?
Sleeping in the library!
What I do, madam,
is collide with folly and conceit
whenever I am rash enough
to step outside this room.
Henceforth, I am minded
to remain here.
Are you not happy that Jane is wed
to Mr Collins?
Happy?
That my kindest, prettiest daughter
has embarked upon an adulthood
of supplication
to such a preening Caliban?
Happy, madam,
that she should live in subjugation
to such an enormity?
I would rather sleep in a drain
than consent to be happy.
MRS BENNET: Mr Bennet!
I haven't slept a wink.
Lizzie lost at books,
now Jane taken to another county
What Jane's done for Papa,
I'd rather die.
(THUD)
MR BENNET: Door
Pickaxe.
A most satisfying juxtaposition.
I often wondered who was silly
enough to leave this here.
Serves no earthly purpose.
Please reassure Mrs Bennet I'll be
out of the house in ten minutes.
I shan't take anything
I didn't bring with me.
Don't forget that.
It's not mine.
I don't know how to thank you.
Yes, you do.
Be reconciled with Jane.
Do it soon.
(CHURCH BELL)
Good morning, Mrs Collins.
You may be wondering
why I have not called upon you
in the night to
claim therapture that is mine
.
.
as ordained by the Redeemer.
I'm engaged in a
period of abstinence,
for the purpose of purification.
But when that period
is concluded
Ohhh, Mrs Collins
I have a mind to shear off
all my hair.
Really?
Anything to alter that expression
of sentimental disappointment.
What expression
would you have me wear?
I love Miss Bennet still.
But she is no longer Miss Bennet.
She is now Mrs Collins.
(GASPS)
On your departure,
my daughters may seek to engage you
in conversation.
I would prefer it
if they weren't successful.
Your parting words of wisdom are
treasures my girls can live without.
You really do think
I'm some sort of disease, don't you?
***.
Do you know the word?
It's soldier's slang.
They use it to applaud a particular
species of reckless courage.
To my eye, Miss Price,
you have ***.
How you hate me.
And yet, here you are.
What choice do I have?
Precisely.
Now, you wish to crawl back into
society, and for this, you need me.
So, prepare the meagrest of
ingredients
with confidence and style
.
.
and you shall serve a banquet.
How much money do you have?
A pound.
I have two.
I shall give you one of them.
And together,
we shall buy you a dress.
I smile, yes?
Yes.
The humble fan, for when one
is consumed by one emotion,
but is constrained
to exhibit another.
Why are you doing this? You want
instruction in bearing and tone.
Do not touch your nose.
I've got an itch.
Ladies are strangers to the itch.
Show me the coquette imperial.
You're selling me stale eggs
at market.
Do it again.
Better.
Show your face.
Acquaintances.
Consider your very good friends,
the De Ceressays
the nec plus ultra
of Parisian society,
dear Prince Gustaf
and his charming wife
Marie
Their collection of porcelain is
quite unparalleled.
I've never heard of these people.
Well, they don't exist, of course.
Of course.
I've always found commendably
useful
I thought we were supposed to be
at war with France.
War with France is traditional.
War with Paris
It's unthinkable.
Society does not recognise it.
What we shall do with you
is have you married to a rich man.
I am the one person around here
who is absolutely not gonna
marry anybody, rich or otherwise.
I buggered up this story,
and now I have to unbugger it
by rebuilding my friendship
with Jane Collins.
I'm going to write her a letter.
Clever.
If you don't like it,
you can take your dress and
What?
You shall be reconciled with Jane.
She shall invite you to her house,
at Rosings,
which is owned by Darcy's
dismal aunt Catherine,
who is the cloaca through whom
all society must pass.
Whoa, whoa, the person I am most
utterly not going to marry is Darcy.
I did not suggest it.
And yet, you thought of it.
That's interesting.
Go to Jane
at once.
Forget the letter.
'That's our of order, Wickham.
Unless it's absolutely necessary,
I will never speak to Darcy again.
If I have to, I will be
so bum-crushingly correct,
he'll faint with boredom and I'll
step right over him, fanning.
'
You have made this house very
.
.
comfortable.
The furnishings and decorations are
under the personal jurisdiction
of Lady Catherine.
Yes, that would explain it.
Jane, I don't expect you
or Mr Collins to welcome me.
Please accept my apologies
and my congratulations,
though they are both
shamefully overdue.
That's it.
But if you ever need me, Jane,
just say the word.
I'll hear you.
I'll come.
My dear, you forget we dine
with Lady Catherine tonight.
I had forgot.
We must hurry.
Your guest is tolerated
at the parsonage,
but under no circumstances
can she be presented at Rosings.
Your husband is quite correct.
A person like myself cannot possibly
sit at the same table as
Lady Catherine De Bourgh.
You must.
You cannot leave me
to be devoured by Lady Catherine.
But it is
awkward.
I am charged with passing
Lady Catherine a message
from Princesse Marie De Ceressay,
of Paris.
Dear Marie made me swear I would
deliver the greeting personally.
But I'm sure it is quite all right
if you do it for me, Mr Collins.
On the contrary,
you have been charged, Miss Price,
with a most important mission.
You must obey your instructions
to the letter.
If you say so, sir, I must.
(MUFFLED)
(CLEARS THROAT)
This is she.
No, no.
This would never
have done at all.
Before one even addressed
the matter of trade,
the complexion is too weathered.
No, for you, Mr Collins, the
Bennet girl is much more suitable.
The dress, however, is acceptable.
Ah, Fitzwilliam, there you are.
Aunt.
The usual people are here to dine,
this Miss Price also.
Anne, come to your mother.
At dinner, you shall sit
beside Miss Price.
It will be a useful exercise
for you
to make conversation
with a person unlike yourself.
Now, let us have music.
Who shall play for us?
Miss Price disdains
the pianoforte, Lady Catherine,
but she has an angel's voice.
You are acquainted?
Lady Catherine, I forget my duty.
I bring the affectionate greetings
of the Princesse De Ceressay.
Dear Marie especially
wanted you to know
that you are always welcome
at the chateau.
Dear Marie, as you know, is very
dedicated in her friendship.
She never forgets my birthday.
I, however, forget the whereabouts
of the De Ceressays' chateau.
Paris, Mr Darcy.
The right bank.
The De Ceressays' house occupies
rather a lot of it.
Hm.
I confess I am none the wiser.
No, sir.
But you are better informed.
Fitzwilliam, you recall the lake
with its charming crocodiles
and the little ducks bobbing about.
Dear Marie.
Your pronunciation is so singular
that I did not recognise the name.
How are the De Ceressays?
How's the prince?
He is very well, Lady Catherine.
# MOZART: Lied Der Freiheit
# Weh dem! der ist ein armer Wicht
# Er kennt die gold'ne
Freiheit nicht
# Er kennt
# Die gold'ne Freiheit nicht
# Er kennt
# Die gold'ne Freiheit nicht
# Wer sich um Furstengunst
It is, as you are
perfectly well aware,
quite impossible for you to be here.
Painfully aware, sir.
Against my better judgment, I've come
at the insistence of Mrs Collins.
If you can possibly find a way of
persuading her to send me home,
I would be most obliged.
Don't they make a lovely couple?
It's not my fault Miss Bennet
chose to marry Mr Collins.
It was a decision freely made.
Quite.
This is a free society.
She was
not constrained at dagger-point
to take the imbecile Collins
to her bed.
Everywhere, I behold
the squalid prospect
of grasping arrivistes, harlots,
and liars scrabbling over each other
in the sewer that is existence
outside society.
The prospect is indeedfrightful.
Mr Collins says
the Lady Catherine's buttresses
are the talk of the county.
Buttresses?
Being a woman, I know so little
about architecture, of course, but
I think they form -
Yes, I know what buttresses are.
# Wohl mir, ich bin ein freier Mann!
'First set, Miss Price.
New balls, please.
'
How long does this obtain,
Mr Bennet,
thisdissension?
If Jane's marriage persists in
provoking such distemper,
I am resolved to take the carriage
and visit Mrs Collins at Rosings,
with Lydia.
It will be instructive for her
to observe a happy marriage.
If you can contrive to find one of
those at Rosings, Mrs Bennet,
I shall prance the length of Lady
Catherine's drawing room naked.
Leave the room, Collins.
Now.
I am a little astonished to be
address thus in my own house.
My aunt's house.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Go.
You wish to speak to me, sir?
I am
concerned.
I don't understand.
You came to this house knowing you'd
be brought to Lady Catherine's,
knowing I would be there, knowing
of my abysmal disregard for you.
Why, when I am, as you insist,
so relentlessly unpleasant to you,
do you persist in seeking me out?
I didn't seek you out.
You came to me.
Why?
I don't know.
You must know.
I do not, and my lack of
comprehension is tormenting me.
Mrs Collins needs me.
Good night.
Are you quite sure this is
what you mean to do?
(DOOR SLAMS)
He is in love with you.
No, he can't be.
Thatdoesn't make sense at all.
That's crazy.
Darcy, OK? And Elizabeth Bennet
of Longbourn.
Not Darcy and Amanda Price of W6.
Lizzie did not come to my wedding.
She has detached herself
from the fortunes of this family.
It is a thing that she has chosen.
You must acknowledge this,
Miss Price, in your own choosing.
I think you are a good person,
and you deserve happiness.
Stilton.
Loganberries.
Oh, hartshorn jelly.
Ohhh.
And medlars from the orchard.
Does Papa not want his medlars?
If he did not speak up for them,
he only has himself to blame.
Indeed, all has been askew since
your arrival and here you are again.
And this is for Lady Catherine.
Mrs Hill's spiced cream,
set with calf's foot.
Will she like it?
You should have told me you were
visiting.
That is a fault.
But I shall overlook it,
as I have decided that I like very
well this daughter of yours.
She isdouce.
She has a natural gentillesse.
Not of the same calibre
as Miss Bingley, of course,
but that is breeding, a matter
in which your daughters are
disadvantaged.
But that can
be surmounted, within reason.
You will be relieved to hear
that I have plans for them all.
Hm?
Mr Collins has brothers.
They are not all as pleasing in
conversational countenance as he,
but they will do very well
for your offspring.
Quite so.
Say not another word.
Leave it to me.
Being an enthusiast of Mr Collins,
you would endorse
such an arrangement?
I try not to judge people
I've never met.
You are a philosopher, Miss Price.
I would I could be like you.
Certainly, you would benefit
from an occupation of some kind.
You have no function,
Mr Darcy, no purpose.
Of course not.
What a disgusting idea.
That is the raison d'etre
of society.
We must be seen to be unoccupied.
'He's just so toxic! How can
Jane think I'm the girl for him?'
Your ladyship must demand
the festival for the senses
that is Miss Price's music.
'You think you're the girl for him.
Step off, Caroline,
you conniving smirking'
Bum face.
(CLATTER OF CUTLERY)
Did I say that out loud?
Erm, it is aa card game,
Lady Catherine.
You might know it as Humpty-Dumpty.
Lady Catherine does not trifle
with common games of cards.
Seven
Seven reverses the order.
Not that I necessarily have a seven.
You will not play, Mr Darcy?
When the unwitting are to be
relieved of their money,
I prefer not to be a party.
Mr Bingley, I can see your hand.
Ah! Such an elegant card.
Can you beat it?
I cannot.
That's a guinea for me, Mr Collins.
Who plays now?
Mr Bingley plays to me.
But he places no bet.
Mr Bingley, you must bet.
Charles, you are too amusing.
That is Papa's Hunter.
It is eccentric to wager an heirloom
of pure gold at such a game.
It is your inheritance.
Mine.
Not yours.
I offer you a knave, Miss Price.
Shall you better him?
She conquers you
with the king, sir,
and claims her ***.
A bet is a bet, Miss Price.
Take the watch.
I would, Mr Bingley, with pleasure,
had this not been a practice game.
The first round is always a practice.
I should have made that clear.
Sorry, it's a rule.
Now, shall we play for real?
You've done well today, my dear.
You've won your hostess a guinea,
you spared the blushes
of Mr Bingley.
But you cannot have
Fitzwilliam Darcy, Miss Price,
however good you are at games.
But I don't want Mr Darcy.
What you want, my dear,
frightens you to death.
That is why you fail
to comprehend yourself.
Where do you go, Charles?
To the devil.
Or anyone who'll serve a man
a proper drink.
Wickham.
To drink with Wickham.
That is ill-advised.
You counsel me on this now?
With whom I may or may
not consort to drink gin?
She loves me still.
To what unrelenting misery
have I condemned her
on your instruction?
Damn you.
And damn everyone who
won't put a light in his window
and stay up all night damning you.
Miss Price.
I am decided I was wrong
.
.
about Charles and Miss Bennet.
I should never have obstructed them.
It wasa shameful cruelty
against yourblameless friend,
and
I beg your propitiation for it.
Prove to me that I am forgiven.
Come to Pemberley.
My sister Georgiana has want
of company.
Did I dream?
You've just invited me
to Pemberley, Mr Darcy?
I thought I heard you say,
"Come to Pemberley.
"
I did indeed, madam.
I thought it might prove diverting,
for you and Miss Lydia and
Miss Price.
That's settled, then.
Good.
Good night.
I never thought I'd be asked
to Pemberley.
No, it's
pretty unprecedented.
I'll tell him.
From Lydia, Mr Bennet.
She writes to say that she -
She and Mama are invited
to Pemberley to stay for days.
I shall write to the prime minister.
Why do we never go anywhere,
Papa, or do anything?
Lydia and your mother are at large
in society, my dear.
It is enough for society
to be getting on with.
What news of Jane?
No news of Jane.
Mama frets about the
inappropriateness of her hat and
It is too much excitement
for me to bear.
Thank you, ladies.
DRIVER: Whoa Whoa there.
Ladies.
Are we there yet?
We are indeed within the park
of Pemberley, are we not?
(LAUGHS)
Lydia, refresh yourself.
Here, hold the glass.
Oh, Lydia, you wobble so!
(FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)
Ah.
I find you re-classifying
your beads.
The taxonomic principle being
colour, spectrum left to right.
Hm
Thislady who's coming to stay
.
.
are you going to marry her?
And the second principle of order
being size.
That's an absolutely outrageous
question, Georgiana.
I really should chastise you for it.
You wouldn't dare.
You're right, I wouldn't.
(VOICES OUTSIDE)
Nevertheless, my dearest
do indulge me by remaining in here
for the moment.
BUTLER OUTSIDE: This way, sir.
With your horse.
Mrs Bennet, ladies.
Welcome.
Did you have aerm?
A most pleasant journey, Mr Darcy.
Thank you.
Good.
Splendid.
My sister begs your
pardon, but she is
indisposed.
Mr Darcy.
With my particular gift
for the inappropriate,
I am almost certainly bound
to give offence, but
you seem distressed, sir.
Wickham is here.
Be a good fellow
and get down from your horse.
I am endeavouring to dismount.
You're a fool if you think Darcy
will tolerate your presence here.
Bingley came to me in pursuit
of oblivion.
He found it,
for a pleasant evening.
Now he is delivered back to
Pemberley undamaged.
Darcy is in my debt.
House rules, Wickham.
Lydia, hands off.
Georgiana, hands off big time.
What?
This is It's good.
You have chosen precisely
the man I wished you to choose.
Swallerando, master of Pemberley.
Bravo.
I know why you want me to do this.
If you could engineer it
that Darcy and I get married,
then what happens
to Frosty-Knickers?
I presume by that
disparaging epithet,
you refer to the sublime
Miss Bingley?
She gets scooped up by you,
you and your galloping bloody horse.
Caroline is rather rich.
Maybe she is the love of my life.
You are repulsive.
Yes, that's the tone.
Argh!
MR COLLINS: My Uncle Joseph, of
course, was a legendary shot.
In Egypt, he once slew a brace
of tigers with a single blast.
AMANDA: He must've been
a very good shot Charles.
.
.
to hit tigers all the way
from Egypt.
Wickham, will you shoot?
No, sir.
I shall suffer Mr Darcy
to let me help pick up
the multitude of birds that shall
come tumbling from the sky.
(*** AND FLAPPING OF WINGS)
(GUNSHOTS)
(GASPS)
Ohhh
Mr Bingley.
I am glad to see you, sir.
In a moment,
my husband will send for me.
I have not long to say
what I must say.
We must accept what has occurred,
you and I.
We must notreproach ourselves
for unlived lives.
I married Mr Collins
and it may not be undone.
But you, Mr Bingley,
you must cast off this regret.
It is your moral duty
to be happy, Charles.
Marry, and be happy for us both.
All's well, Mr Collins?
Ah-ha-ha
The birds are that way.
Oh, yes.
No, I
Mr Collins has had the unusual
good fortune to shoot a peacock.
That is unusual.
One peacock is
probably sufficient.
Ohhh
Please do not point your gun at me,
Mr Collins, neither at Miss Price.
No, no, I No, I just
Ooh, yes.
Whither our host, I wonder.
I neither know nor care.
Charles, that is ungracious.
He is a hypocrite.
Amanda.
It is she who must be loved.
You must not.
You must not.
Wherefore must I not?
Who is to judge us?
I've laboured so long
in the service of propriety.
Elizabeth.
I am not Elizabeth.
The entire world will hate me.
Were that true, Amanda,
I would fight the world.
You are the one I love.
Will you do something for me?
I am havinga bit of a strange
post-modern moment here.
Is that agreeable?
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Oh, please.
Stay there.
If you
touch me again, I will be completely
unable to say what I want to say.
You love me.
Which one of me do you love?
The one you first met when I was
spiky and vulgar,
and Iargued with you
all the time,
when you looked at me and felt
all that abysmal disregard?
Or the one I've been recently,
simpering and fanning and
trying so hard to fit in.
Please tell me you've
noticed the difference.
I find both incarnations of your
character equally disagreeable.
And yet I love you, Amanda Price.
With all my heart.
(HUNTING HORN SOUNDS)
Ignore that.
Please.
I cannot.
When my duties are discharged,
I shall find you, Amanda,
for there is more to say
.
.
if only the same words,
over and again.
'I love him.
I love Fitzwilliam Darcy.
I love him!
Maybe that's
what's meant to happen.
I'm like an understudy.
The star has failed to turn up,
and I have to go on
and do the show.
'
(SOBBING)
Oh, it is the grass.
It makes my eyes water.
It's not the grass.
It's seeing Jane
married to the wrong man.
Well
there's nothing to be done for it.
The world is full of
miserable, loveless marriages.
She will find a way to endure it.
Women do.
We are not condemned
to endure our lives.
We can change them.
My life is about to change,
Mrs Bennet.
I am in love, and the man I love
is in love with me.
When I am married to him,
I will be able to protect Jane.
And I'll be able to help
you and Mr Bennet.
I will buy Longbourn for you.
Would that not improve things
between the two of you just a bit?
Miss Price, this is
a quite extraordinary declaration.
These are extraordinary times.
(GUNSHOT)
Bingley! Lay down your gun, sir.
The breath of your shot
was upon my face.
How long shall you prolong this
pantomime of heartbreak
over Jane Collins?
Have you no notion how intensely
tiresome this maudlin drunkenness
has become?
Let us say no more of this.
I wanted to appraise you of
some news.
I regret you were obliged
to witness this.
Your brother
La.
I'm not worried about him.
I'm worried about you.
I think your Miss Price
leads you a merry dance.
If I were you, I would seek to know
Miss Price a little better,
before presuming to
know her better.
Hey, Lydia!
Life is pretty damn brilliant,
don't you think?
Life at home is not
rich in incident.
You won't always be at home.
The place from which you come
is different.
Hah, too right.
Hammersmith.
Don't stress about
where you've been, Lydia.
Think where you're going.
Just don't go anywhere near Wickham.
Hello.
Hello.
My brother has told me to stay
in this room.
Good advice.
Why?
I would've thought
.
.
because of
what happened to you,
with Wickham.
What you have been told
happened to me
is not what happened.
My nurse conceived
a passion for Mr Wickham.
She took me with her to a place
where she could encounter him,
as though by hazard.
For this enterprise, I was the mask.
But I had fallen in love with him.
Every instant that
her back was turned,
I offered myself to him.
He called me his sweet child,
his adorable child,
but a child nevertheless,
and he refused me.
So I went to my brother,
and I told him
that George had ravished me.
Jeepers.
Probity, Elysium, Canaan,
and Tinkler.
Tinkler, Mr Collins?
My youngest brother, madam.
His baptismal name is Cymbal.
I Corinthians 13:1.
"I am become a sounding brass,
or a tinkling cymbal.
"
Oh, of course.
How very er
ingenious were your parents
in the naming of their children.
Tinkler is four and twenty
years of age.
He's quitestout.
But Miss Lydia, I am sure,
would have him cavorting
about the house like a fawn.
It's an excellent match.
(CHOKES)
What happened?
Mr Bingley and I have been chatting.
Miss Price, my life
.
.
is a pretty drear thing.
But it is conducted
for the greater part in public.
It is a rare moment that I am not
closely observed by servants.
If one wished to know the truth
about Fitzwilliam Darcy,
one need merely ask.
You're worried that I have a past
that you don't know about?
I am braced for the truth.
Will you tell it me?
OK.
What I should do, what my mother
would certainly say I should do
if she were here -
thank God she isn't -
is keep my mouth shut.
But given
that I've never been able to do that,
and given that Caroline has almost
certainly put it about
that I am the great ***
of Hammersmith
But you'd never listen to gossip,
would you?
I love you for that,
and that's the thing.
I love you.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
But it is clear to me now
that I have always loved you.
Every time I've fallen for a man,
I've closed my eyes
and it's been you.
Even Michael, and I pretty much
lived with him for a year.
So, yes.
I have a past.
But everyinstant in it
contains you.
Everything I am
.
.
belongs to you.
I cannot marry you.
I am sorry for you.
But a man like me cannot possibly
marry a woman like you.
A woman like me?
You are not a maid.
I am sorry.
I've been incredibly stupid.
You told me the truth
when I asked for it.
For that courage,
I shall admire you always.
But it has cost me everything.
It has cost that of us both.
(CLEARS THROAT)
You'd never knock.
What can I do for you, Miss Bingley?
If the answer is "Sling your hook
so I can get my paws on Darcy,"
you're in luck.
Look at me, I'm going.
I do look at you, Miss Price.
You people.
If just one of you actually said or
did something you actually meant,
that had any emotional integrity,
the rest of you would die of fright.
You're staring at me, Caroline.
It's a bit freaky.
Good grief!
Charles told me your secret.
It is my secret too.
I shall get my paws on Darcy,
and I shall marry him,
because it is correct,
and necessary and expected
by everyone, including God.
But the physical society of men
is something I have never sought.
I shall endure it with Darcy
because endurance is
the speciality of our sex.
But the poetry of Sappho
is the only music that shall
ever touch my heart.
Though I have yet to play
upon the erm
instrument myself.
I wanted you to know this.
And humoursisterly communion,
before you scuttle
back to Hammersmith.
You don't get to marry Darcy.
Do I not?
'Goodness.
Jane Austen would be fairly surprised
to find she'd written that!'
I've been talking to Georgiana.
What a determined little girl.
Don't tell Darcy.
He'd throw her out.
Letting it circulate that you
seduced Georgiana to protect her!
I'm sorry, George, but
that's honourable.
I got you all wrong.
It's more fun that way.
What's the matter here?
Darcy said he loved me.
I said I loved him back.
And then, I found myself
obliged to tell him
a little bit too much about myself.
He has rewarded your candour by
casting you into outer darkness.
(SIGHS)
Oh, well.
Caroline Bingley's
an ocean-going ***,
and she has no *** to speak of.
Marriage to her
would have been tiresome.
You know what I think, Miss Price?
I think you're a girl who's
a very long way from home.
Can you get me a carriage, please?
I want to go home.
Well
now, you know everything.
What a jaundiced impertinence
is this?
To write a roman a clef
about gentle people
who have received you
as their guest.
You have not even the grace
to disguise our names.
It is a monstrous ingratitude
and betrayal of trust.
No wonder nothing about you
seems plausible.
Is your name Price,
or is it Austen?
Frankly, madam, I cease to care.
You don't get it.
How could you?
Even I don't get it any more.
I'll walk, thanks.
There is nowhere
for you to walk to from here.
Then that's where I'll go.
Goodbye, Mr Darcy.
Everything you think is wrong, Darcy.
Everything.
Georgiana, Wickham.
None of that happened
the way you think it did.
You'll never hear it from her,
she's scared to death of you.
And Bingley, your best friend!
He's become a drunk
and that's your fault, yours!
You're supposed to be so bloody
incandescent with integrity,
and you misjudge everybody.
You misjudge me.
'I love you.
I love you.
I want to die! I love you.
'
Lydia doesn't run off with Bingley,
but with Wickham.
I've asked Miss Bingley to be
my wife and she has consented.
Hammersmith.
This is where you live.
Time to take the weapons
from the wall,
and take guard!
Mr Bennet!
(SHRIEKING)