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And someone hoping they have what it takes to get them through to the next round is ...
Eugene.
My name's Eugene, I'm thirty-seven,
I'm a librarian.
Eugene.
Pleased to meet you.
I've come here today to share my passion
for poetry with all who want to listen.
I understand that the judges aren't great fans of poetry,
but I feel I have the personality
and the charisma
to win them round.
What about the 'girl' side of things?
I've always been a magnet to the ladies.
Yeah? You got a girlfriend?
Not yet.
Right,
what sort of girl would you look for?
One that says yes.
Nice (!)
I'm gonna go out there, on that stage,
and I'm going to be a white knight
on the stallion of poetry.
Good evening.
Hello. What's your name?
My name's Eugene.
Alright. D'you wanna get on with it?
I'm here tonight to share with you
my passion.
Poetry.
May I present to you my ode to Britain's Got Talent.
"You'll never make it through" they said,
"They're bound to choose another."
"You are a loser – always were."
So I said, "Thank you, Mother."
But I am no contortionist,
I can't juggle with a ball.
I haven't got a friendly pet,
I've got no friends at all.
Or I could do some magic,
Oh, that much is clear.
For when I enter a crowded room,
The girls just disappear.
It doesn't really matter, though,
'Cause I'll try any trick,
Just to get me on the show
To tell Piers he's a ...
A genius with his finger on the pulse of popular culture.
I may go through tonight, or not,
Of that I do not know.
But at least I can say to my girls
That Daddy's given it a go.
Thank you very much.
I'm gonna hand over to someone who may wanna start with a little apology.
Piers.
I'm sorry, er, for buzzing you, er,
because actually that was a very funny act.
I thought it was very well written, and, er, you made me laugh.
It's the first time that anyone like you's ever had a standing ovation, so
that was pretty remarkable.
Thank you very much.
Piers, yes or no?
Er, I'm going to say yes, Eugene.
I'm going to say yes.
Eugene, you got three yesses.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
Can't believe I managed to turn Piers around.
I know.
And he apologised.
Says a lot.
No-one's ever apologised to me,
Have they... have they not?
for anything they've ever said.
And they've said some things.
Have they? Well, like what?
Not nice things.
Give me an example.
I'd not like to go into it right now.
OK. Sorry.
D'you reckon you'll get to the semi?
I've already had a standing ovation from two thousand people.
I can die happy, now.
Nice to meet you.
And you.
What's this about the poet?
Ah. Separated at birth.
Stephen: Who? Amanda: Or he could be your dad. Simon: Are you telling me you weren't
Amanda: Or he could be your dad. Simon: Are you telling me you weren't
Simon: Are you telling me you weren't
related to the poet?
I was not related to the poet.
Swear... swear on your mother's life.
I swear on my mother's life.
The eyes went down, you know.
Which my eyes don't do, damn [?]
They do a bit. Which my eyes don't do, damn [?]
Which my eyes don't do, damn [?]
They do a bit.
They don't! They're googly eyes.
They're googly eyes.
But beautiful. They're beautiful coloured blue.
They're Jesus eyes, I feel. They're like Robert Powell's eyes when he was Jesus.
Wow, what about that (!)
OK. Anyway, so he's not related to you.
No, he's not. And, d'you know, if you thought I'd bring my dad to audition ...
No, I said brother. No, he's not. And, d'you know, if you thought I'd bring my dad to audition ...
or brother, and just go: "I'm going to keep that a secret"
for you to sit there and go:
for you to sit there and go: "Is that Stevie's brother?"
"Is that Stevie's brother?"
Where did 'Stevie' come from?
He calls me 'Stevie'.
Why do you call me 'Stevie'?
I don't know. Do I?
Is it... was it, Stevie Wonder?
i.e. We all wonder what you're doing here.
Good
Oh, Piers.
Oh, that's nice, Piers, on the last day
Yeah, last day of school and you start bullying.