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okay before I get started with this video I want to make a huge huge
gigantic disclaimer.
everything i'm about to say is just my opinion based on my experiences
and my observations of things.
i do not speak for the entirety of the LGBTQ community, nor do I speak for the entirety
of the asexual community.
i speak for myself and for myself
only and to those people who will disagree with me, because I know there
will be people
who disagree with me, to those people I say "to each their own."
you have every right to believe what you like,
just as I have every right to believe what i like.
okay? okay. so that
out of the way, i want to talk about something that
has been on my mind a lot lately and actually this video
might become a little long and it might be more
of a rant or venting, so apologies in advance.
so what i'd like to talk about is asexuality and LGBTQ community.
are asexuals part of the LGBTQ community?
to the best of my knowledge, at present, there is no definitive answer to this
question.
there is very strong, sometimes even fierce debate,
among both asexuals and the LGBTQ
community about this topic. if you go and Tumblr
you can sometimes find people biting each others' heads off about this.
and if you go to on AVEN, the
largest asexual community, you'll find asexuals who will passionately
argue either side at this debate.
i have heard people both in and outside of the LGBTQ community
argue that asexuality can't be part of the LGBTQ for various reasons.
such as... asexuality
being a "lack of sexuality" and therefore
inappropriate as being part of the LGBTQ.
or... mmm.... saying
that asexual aren't oppressed enough
and other such ***. and yes
in my opinion, that stuff is-- those opinions
are ***... and
i could dedicate an entire video to
such opinions and why they're stupid or idiotic or uneducated or
IGNORANT, but not now.
not this video. maybe in the future. on the other hand
i know that there are asexuals who want nothing whatsoever to do with the LGBTQ
community for various reasons.
for example, some asexuals feel that they have nothing whatsoever in common
with the LGBTQ community.
some feel that... such an association
of asexuality with LGBTQ
will make things harder or worse off for them because...
session an association will inevitably come with
new and more stigmatiations and new
and MORE misunderstanding of their own
sexuality by others and baggage that they just don't want.
and there are also asexuals who just don't like
having labels associated with them at all, including the label
asexuality or asexual. and to these people
i say "fair enough." i totally understand where you're coming from.
my personal stance on this
is that anyone who feels that they
are ***, anyone who identifies with the word ***, anyone who
identifies as being part of the LGBTQ community
has every right to identify and associate as such.
and those who do not feel that they
identify with such a community, that they want themselves associated with
such a community,
okay. that's fine too. personally,
my relation with
the LGBTQ community, the rainbow flag, all of that stuff
is a bit complicated. i mean,
when it's just me, myself and i, or when i'm in front of a computer,
yeah, sure, whohoo...!! identify
as LGBTQ all the time, everywhere,
out and proud... online, anyway.
but when it comes to being in an LGBTQ space, at an LGBTQ
event, things start to be
a bit trickier. the past two weeks, i've
been going to the asexual group at
The Center, which is Las Vegas' LGBTQ center.
and I have to say, that this is my first time going to The Center and i''m
really, really, really, really impressed. the place is
awesome, the resources available and the general inclusion of
many different groups and people, is
really, really, really awesome. seriously, i haven't seen another
LGBTQ center thus far that has been
as inclusive and awesome as this one.
i mean, in addition to you simply having an
asexual group, which is a really rare
thing, they also have a genderqueer / gender variant
group, and how awesome is that. but anyway,
some of the things that we'd been talking about at the asexual group has
been really interesting and in fact
has been partly responsible for inspiring this video.
this weekend is Las Vegas PRIDE.
so Friday was the PRIDE Parade
and yesterday was that PRIDE Festival.
and... in deciding whether or not i wanted to go to these events...
feelings have been brought to the surface-- i've been reminded about
how complicated and conflicting my association
with the LGBTQ community at large
can be at times. and
yeah, because this i've... i can really sympathize with asexuals who want
nothing to do with it
right now. originally i'd wanted to go to
the Vegas PRIDE Parade,
but actually i decided not to go.
and reflecting on past experiences that i've had at
similar events, i decided that really i didn't want to go out of my way
to go to a place where there would be
pretty much no representation of me at all.
and in fact, not just that, i don't wanna go out of
my way to a place where...
you know, as in asexual, i would feel alienated because...
you know, at such events
there's often a lot I love oversexualization.
and you know, this being a VEGAS event,
that most certainly would be the case. and
yeah, i've had enough of feeling alienated
and like i don't belong somewhere, so why would i go out of my way to go
to an event where,
yeah, i would feel just that? i mean, but don't get me wrong, i think that the
event
was good, i streamed some of it online,
and yeah, it was a good parade and i'm glad that such an event
is happening in Vegas. but
yeah, i'm just glad that i didn't go out of my way to be a part of
that crowd when i wouldn't have felt...
you know, really good about being there anyway.
yesterday was the PRIDE Festival and
even though i had-- i still had the same concerns
about the festival as i did the parade,
i decided that i wanted to go check it out anyway.
and... i left the event with mixed
feelings. on one hand, it was great
having gone because i got to see how big the
Vegas LGBTQ community is.
i mean, i'm originally from Vegas, but still i had no idea that the community
was as large
as it is-- or at least was at that event.
and also it was awesome to see the decent
QPOC turn out to the event. and you QPOC, if you don't know, is *** people
of color.
it was really nice seeing a lot of African-Americans, Latinos and other
nationalities, ethnicities, there at the event. i mean,
that was just really, really cool.
on the other hand... again,
there was a total lack
of representation of me at that event,
and that me sad. actually, i felt that
there was a lot of under-representation in general, not just of me,
but other groups as well. and i find that this is a common thing
at many, many LGBTQ
events and spaces. there was a lotta
the L, a lotta the G, but where was the B?
where was that T? let alone an I
or an A or a P... it's just...
there's a lot of lack of visibility of
groups within the LGBTQ community.
it's mostly... it's largely
gay people and lesbians.
and, i mean, this is no fault of the
organizers of this particular event, it's just...
yeah. and it should be noted that
there was actually a very large drag
or queen presence at the event.
and I mea, that's not really surprising. Vegas has a very strong drag community.
but people who do drag and queens, they don't
necessarily identify as
trans*. and I think that was the case with many of the people at the event,
they didn't identify as trans*, they may
identify as being LGBT, but not trans*, so again there's
a lack of T. anyway, everywhere i went people were being
out and proud-- very loudly out and proud.
there were stands for various organizations, there were
rainbow flags and accessories being sold everywhere,
but where were the other pride flags? where was the bi* pride? the trans*
pride?
the genderqueer pride? where were the trans*
support organizations? only--
in fact, only at two stands did i find anything related to the B or the T
in the LGBT.
and... yeah, that was... that was really disappointing and sad.
everywhere, everyone was loudly celebrating who they are,
but i couldn't help but wonder. if i celebrated who i am just as loudy as
them...
for example, if i wore an ace pride shirt,
if I draped an asexual or a genderqueer or neutrois flag over my shoulders...
if i did anything to fight the inevitable assumptions
that i'm lesbian, how...
what kind of reactions whould i get to that?
would i get blank stares? word i get people asking what
such-and-such means...? and upon explaining what something means,
would i get... laughs?
would i get sympathy, even?
i seriously-- i seriously felt like
i had to think about that.
and the fact that i even have to be concerned about...
worrying about the kind of reactions that I would get to
my own pride at PRIDE festival
is just really sad. i'm reminded
of when i went to an LGBTQ Film Festival in Brisbane.
i went to see the movie "Gayby"...
and... in that movie, one of the main characters
makes fun up the A in LGBTQIA
TWO times... and yes, i was counting-- two times...
and it wasn't some... some little
poking fun at it, it was blatant saying that it didn't belong there, what the hell was
that A for?
kinda thing. and when the character made fun of the A
people in the theater laughed and
i just sat in my seat silently foaming
at the mouth. it's stuff like this,
lack of visibility, the lack of recognition, inclusion...
lack of understanding-- it's stuff like this that makes me question
wearing my rainbow bracelet. it's stuff like this that makes me
not able to identify with LGBTQ community, or the rainbow flag
sometimes.
i mean, the rainbow flag, does it even
represent me? sometimes I... I ask myself this,
am i even represented by the rainbow flag?
are other groups of people even represented
by rainbow flag? the rainbow flag is supposed to
represent the entirety of the LGBTQ community,
but sometimes it seems like it just-- it's just the
homosexual flag or something.... and i don't mean to offend anyone, i know that that's
not the case, but sometimes that's
how it feels. because there's such
a lack of inclusion, there's such a lack of
education, there's such a lack of awareness, there's such a
lack of... visibility
in that flag and in the LGBTQ community,
at LGBTQ events, that...
yeah. i mean, i will continue
to wear my rainbow bracelet,
if you can see it, with pride along with my many other pride bracelets.
i will continue to associate with the LGBTQ community.
but yeah... the association, the relationship i have with the community...
it's not always strong, it waivers
a lot sometimes. and yeah, i guess
that's where i'll leave this video, that
i totally sympathize with asexuals
who sometimes feel that they don't belong, or that they have nothing in
common with the community.
even though saying that, i do strongly feel that
asexuality should be included. but yeah,
anyway, that's where i'll leave this video.
umm, if you have anything to add or anything to comment, please do. umm,
i look forward to hearing other people's opinions.
bye.