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There's not one word of any of this in our History...
SHUT UP
Cartoons
It’s a hoppin Friday night at the local malt shoppe, and look who’s
decided to join the fun.
It’s LaBarbeque, the colored boy from down the street.
But uh oh, Jimmy doesn’t seem too pleased.
Things that I can’t understand scare me. Like how you can
maintain that rockin tan... in the middle of winter!
But we can’t blame him. After all, skin color is what Caucasians fear
most.
His name is Pigmantius, evil god of pigment, and he gets his powers by
devouring the souls of little children.
But he CAN’T be working for Pigmantius. Say it ain’t so,
LaBarbeque!
I told you. It’s simple science, Susie. Science and nightmares.
All you see is a rockin tan and genetic physical advantages, but
there’s more to our friend here than you think.
Come on, give him a chance, Jimmy!
I gave him a chance when I trusted him with my grape soda!
When LaBarbeque’s people crash landed their mother ship on earth,
they were forced to acclimate to life among the indigenous pale
population.
At least until we could gather enough fuel to return home.
Thanks LaBarbeque.
Fuel is found within the oils and juices of certain animals and
fruits, which can be synthesized to form--
Bequeath to me the sizzurp! The captain receives a vile of liquid.
So until then...
We’re here to stay!
Thanks LaBarbeque.
Wait wait... there’s not one word of ANY of this in our history
books.
Oh ok, there.
Well then why does he live in a bad neighborhood? Makes sense if he’s
a BAD person!
Since space money doesn’t work on earth, we forced them into lower
income areas in order to survive.
I’m sorry about your space money, LaBarbeque. I didn’t know!
And since then his people have contributed greatly to American
culture.
Like music!
Peanut butter!
Bouncing cars!
That’s the spirit! White people have even adopted elements of their
native language, such as adding extra z’s to words, because of
their hip funky sound.
For rizzle... Oop, I just said it!
Oh Susie, your cuteness is rivaled only by your appetite.
So let’s not worry about how we’re different, but instead focus on how
our differences can enrich each other.
This is just making so much sense to me.
As it turns out, LaBarbeque’s people are actually fighting an
intergalactic battle AGAINST Pigmantius and his army of
Melanocytes.
Our champion, Michael Jackson, fights him as we speak.
Too soon!
So this whole time I thought you were my worst enemy, you ended up
being my best friend.
Awwwwwwwww!
Fo shizzle my nizzle. I mean... for sure my ni--
And now that you’re no longer ignorant, let’s keep today’s lesson
in mind when the day comes where you’ll meet even more types of
different people.
Maaaaaaang. Maaaaang. Come on mang!