Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
[ RHYTHMIC DRUMMING ]
>> UH-UH-UH, OOH.
WELCOME TO PARADISE.
NOW, LEAVE ALL YOUR WORRIES AND
OTHER TV SHOWS BEHIND, BABY.
IT'S TIME FOR
"AQUA TV SHOW SHOW."
>> Frylock: "AQUA TV SHOW SHOW."
>> Shake: "AQUA TV SHOW SHOW."
>> Meatwad: "AQUA TV SHOW SHOW."
>> I SAID "AQUA TV SHOW SHOW."
>> Frylock: "AQUA TV SHOW SHOW."
>> Shake: "AQUA TV SHOW SHOW."
>> Meatwad: "AQUA TV SHOW SHOW."
>> [ Rapping ] ♪ I SAID
MASTER SHAKE, FRYLOCK ♪
♪ MY LITTLE HOMEY MEATWAD ♪
♪ LOAD US ON THE BEATS ♪
♪ YEAH, WE HEAVY IN THE
STREETS ♪
♪ GOT THE WHOLE PLANET IN THE
PALM OF OUR HANDS, THOUGH ♪
♪ SO GIVE THUMBS UP FOR THE
"AQUA TV --" ♪
[ EVIL LAUGHTER ]
[ BRAKES SQUEAL ]
>> ARE YOU WEARING A WIRE?
>> I TOLD YOU, BRUNO!
I'M CLEAN.
>> BRAS HAVE WIRES --
UNDERWIRES.
>> Shake: YES.
>> HOW DID YOU KNOW?
>> 'CAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO NOT BE
WEARING A SHIRT.
>> Shake: YES, YES!
NO. NO!
WELL...
[ BOOM ]
I'M BORED, EVERYONE!
CONGRATULATIONS!
[ KEYBOARD CLACKING ]
SCOOT OVER.
I NEED TO USE YOUR FUNNY VIDEO
MACHINE.
>> Frylock: HEY, MAN! I'M BUSY.
I'M CALCULATING OUR HOUSEHOLD
BUDGET, OKAY?
>> Shake: SEARCH FOR "MONKEY
URINATES IN MOUTH."
>> Frylock: IT WON'T WORK.
THEY SHUT OFF THE CABLE.
>> Shake: UH --
>> Frylock: JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU
THEY WOULD IF WE DIDN'T PAY OUR
BILL!
>> Shake: SEARCH FOR "SHARK BITE
TO THE NUT SACK," AND PUT H.D.
NEXT TO IT.
>> Frylock: MEATWAD!
COME ON OUT HERE FOR A FAMILY
MEETING, PLEASE.
SMOKE! YET NO HEAT.
SHAKE, GET ON THE GROUND!
>> Shake: I'M TRYING TO
SEARCH FOR "HORSE HOOF TO THE
NUTS," AND IT'S NOT GOING!
WHAT SHOULD I -- AM I NOT --
HOW DO YOU SPELL "HOOF"?
>> Frylock: HEY, WHAT THE HELL?
>> Meatwad: FRYLOCK!
WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING
HERE?
>> Frylock: OH, I LIVE HERE!
QUESTION IS, WHAT THE HELL DO
YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE?
>> Meatwad: I'M SMOKIN' ME A
CIGARETTE, 'CAUSE I'M A GROWN-UP
BOY.
>> Shake: SMOKING! YES!
PUT HIM IN THE QUIET CORNER!
HE HATES THAT MORE THAN
ANYTHING!
>> Frylock: LOOK, GUYS.
NONE OF US DO ANYTHING ALL DAY
AND ALL NIGHT.
RIGHT?
>> Shake: WAIT.
HE DOES SOMETHING! HE SMOKES!
>> Meatwad: YEAH, I SMOKE!
I SMOKE IN THE QUIET CORNER!
OH, YEAH. RIGHT. I'M SORRY.
Shh. QUIET CORNER.
>> Frylock: YOU SMOKE BECAUSE
YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
PRODUCTIVE TO FILL YOUR TIME
WITH.
>> Shake: YEAH, MEATWAD!
>> Frylock: YOU DON'T EITHER,
SHAKE!
>> Shake: OKAY.
WE'VE HAD SOME PRODUCTION SNAGS,
BUT THE ALBUM IS DEFINITELY
DROPPING...THE MARCH AFTER THIS
ONE.
>> Frylock: YOU BEEN SAYING THE
ALBUM'S ABOUT TO DROP FOR
EIGHT YEARS!
PEOPLE DON'T EVEN USE THE WORDS
"ALBUM" OR "DROP" ANYMORE.
>> Shake: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TELL MY STREET TEAM, HUH?
THEY'VE BEEN GETTING THE WORD
OUT SINCE MAY!
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
>> SOMETHING BETTER BE DROPPING
SOON.
RUNNING OUT OF FOOD IN HERE!
>> Frylock: NOW, LISTEN.
I'M ISSUING A CHALLENGE, HERE.
WE'RE ALL GONNA GET JOBS BY THE
END OF TODAY!
AND, SHAKE, YOU CAN DO SOMETHING
PRODUCTIVE WITH YOUR LIFE OTHER
THAN STARE AT A SCREEN.
>> Shake: THERE'S NOT MUCH ELSE
I CAN DO, REALLY!
>> Frylock: AND MAYBE I CAN
FINALLY GET SOME REAL VEGETABLES
IN MY DIET, AND STOP EATING OUT
OF THIS DAMN 50-POUND BAG OF CAT
FOOD!
>> Shake: WHAT -- YOU DON'T LIKE
FISH N' CHEDDAR?
[ Muffled ] MMM! IT'S MIXED!
[ BEEP ]
>> Shake: BOOM!
HOT OFF THE PRESSES!
>> Frylock: THIS IS YOUR RéSUMé?
>> Shake: YEAH!
>> Frylock: WHERE'S YOUR NAME?
>> Shake: I'M NOT PUTTING MY
NAME ON THAT!
THERE'S A REALLY RACIST JOKE IN
THERE!
BUT IT IS SERI-- IT'S ONE OF THE
FUNNIEST JOKES I'VE EVER HEARD.
>> Frylock: STAND-UP COMEDIAN.
THAT'S THE JOB YOU WANT.
>> Shake: NO, I DON'T WANT A
JOB -- THIS IS YOUR STUPID IDEA.
>> Frylock: WHERE'S YOUR
EXPERIENCE?
>> Shake: UH, MY, UH -- MY
EXPERIENCE WITH JOBS HAVE BEEN
PRETTY UNEVENTFUL, AND PRETTY
UNSUCCESSFUL.
>> Frylock: DUDE, YOU GOT TO PUT
SOMETHING HERE -- IT'S BLANK.
>> Shake: OH, I WILL.
I'M DRAWING A ROCKET SHIP RIGHT
THERE.
>> Frylock: ALL RIGHT, MEATWAD.
LET ME LOOK AT YOURS.
>> Meatwad: CHECK IT OUT.
I DREW A ROCKET SHIP.
>> Shake: YOU STOLE MY IDEA!
OKAY, FINE!
WHERE IS YOUR ROCKET SHIP GOING
TO?
>> Meatwad: WELL, THAT THERE IS
MARS, AND THAT'S WHERE THEY'RE
GOING TO LIVE.
>> Shake: THAT'S WHERE MINE IS
GOING TO!
>> Meatwad: WELL, MINE'S ALREADY
THERE.
>> Shake: I'M GONNA COLONIZE
MARS BEFORE YOU DO!
YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING
ABOUT TERRAFORMING A PLANET.
>> Frylock: GOOD LUCK IN SPACE,
Y'ALL.
>> Shake: WHERE IS THE [BLEEP]
BLUE CRAYON?
>> Carl: WHY YOU WANT A JOB?
ALL THAT DOES IS GIVE YOU MONEY
AND DIRECTION AND PURPOSE IN
LIFE.
>> Frylock: I KNOW, CARL.
THAT'S THE POINT.
>> Carl: YOU NEVER GONNA LOVE
THAT.
YOU -- YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU
LOVE, AND THE MONEY WILL FOLLOW.
LOOK AT ME.
I LOVE SPORTS TALK RADIO, I LOVE
***, AND I LOVE GETTING
WASTED.
>> Frylock: OKAY, AND WHERE'S
THE MONEY?
>> Carl: I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT WHO TO
INVOICE FOR ALL THAT.
>> Frylock: LOOK CARL, IT'S
GREAT THAT YOU FOUND YOUR
PASSION ALL RIGHT, BUT RIGHT
NOW, I JUST GOT TO PAY MY BILLS.
>> Carl: OH, YOU JUST WANT A
JOB, I MEAN, I KNOW A JOB YOU DO
FOR A GUY.
MY COUSIN, HE NEEDS A HIGHLY
MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER WITH
GOOD...PUTTING-BULLET-IN-PEOPLE
SKILLS.
ONE NIGHT. 10 GRAND.
NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
PIECE OF CAKE.
>> Frylock: OH, IF IT'S SO EASY,
THEN WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?
>> Carl: COME ON, MAN.
YOU'VE SEEN MY CHAIN.
LAST TIME I WENT TO LOCK-UP,
THIS MEDALLION BARELY SQUEAKED
UP MY ***.
I DON'T THINK I COULD DO IT
AGAIN.
>> Frylock: YEAH, WELL, THANKS,
CARL, BUT I THINK I WANT TO
MAKE MONEY THE HONEST WAY.
>> Carl: ALL RIGHT, FINE.
HERE. CHUG THIS ONE.
SHOVE THESE TWO IN YOUR POCKETS.
BELIEVE ME, I'VE HAD A JOB.
IT'LL MAKE THE TIME FLY.
>> Frylock: I DON'T WANT TO
SMELL LIKE CHEAP BEER IN AN
INTERVIEW.
>> Carl: AHH! OH!
WE GOT A BOY SCOUT HERE.
OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL LEAVE A COUPLE TALL BOYS BY
THE DUMPSTER IN CASE, UH, YOU
NEED TO "GO GET SOMETHING OUT OF
MY CAR."
[ LAUGHS ]
>> Frylock: I DO HAVE A
DOCTORATE IN BIOMEDICAL
HYPERTRONICS AND A MASTER'S IN
BOTH CRYOGENIC SEQUENCING AND
THERMITE PLASMATICS.
>> WOW. I'M VERY IMPRESSED.
CAN YOU START RIGHT NOW?
>> Frylock: YEAH! SURE!
>> GREAT, GREAT.
OKAY, UM.
HERE'S YOUR HAIRNET AND GLOVES.
>> Frylock: THANKS.
I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION ABOUT
BENEFITS.
ARE THERE ANY?
>> YEAH, I MEAN, THE HAIRNET'S
BENEFICIAL.
IT KEEPS HAIR OUT OF THE FOOD.
>> Carl: HEY, THERE'S THE MAN!
CONGRATULATIONS!
I SEE YOU'RE WEARING THE
BENEFIT PACKAGE, EH.
>> Frylock: YEAH.
>> Carl: GIVE ME THAT HOLE
PUNCH.
AND NOW I GET FREE REFILLS.
BOOM!
[ LAUGHS ]
HOP TO IT.
>> Frylock: YOU STILL LEAVE
THOSE, UH, BEERS OUT BY THE
DUMPSTER?
>> Carl: OH NO, WE POLISHED THEM
OFF.
THEY'RE LONG GONE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
YEP, THE EARLY BIRD SHOTGUNS THE
WORM, FRYMAN.
>> Shake: BUZZ OFF!
WE'RE DOING BUSINESS HERE.
I'M ABOUT TO GET A JOB WITH
CARL'S COUSIN.
>> Frylock: W-W-WAIT!
SHAKE, SHAKE, THAT JOB HE HAS,
IT'S NOT RIGHT FOR YOU, MAN.
>> Shake: I KNOW THAT.
I JUST PUT THE DEAL TOGETHER.
SAY HELLO TO MY TRIGGER MAN.
>> Meatwad: YEAH, I GOT ME A
JOB.
AND AIN'T NO ONE GONNA MAKE ME
WEAR NO *** HAIRNET.
I WEAR THIS BY CHOICE.
>> Frylock: CARL YOU KNOW HE
CAN'T SHOOT NOBODY, MAN.
LOOK AT HIM!
HE'S GOT THE MIND OF A
10-YEAR-OLD.
>> HEY! FRENCH FRY!
GET YOUR *** BACK TO WORK!
THERE'S A BAT FLYING AROUND IN
THE WALK-IN!
>> Shake: WHOOPS.
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY WANTS YOU
TO SEQUENCE THE GENOME BACK
THERE.
>> GET THE PESTICIDE YOU, JACK
OFF!
IT'S NEXT TO THE MAYONNAISE.
DUH!
OVER BY THE SPACE HEATER.
YOU KNOW, WHERE THAT PIPE'S
BEEN LEAKING.
>> Frylock: LOOK I'LL BE RIGHT
BACK.
DON'T ORDER NOTHING WITH
MAYONNAISE OKAY?
>> Carl: SO ARE WE CLEAR HERE?
TWO IN THE EAR AND THE CANARY
AND YOU'RE DONE.
>> Meatwad: YEP.
JUST TELL US WHOSE EAR.
>> Shake: AND TWO OF WHAT ARE WE
TALKING ABOUT?
>> Carl: THIS IS THE GUY.
MR. DiCENZO.
YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM, AND THIS
CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED.
BUT GIVE ME THEM RECEIPTS.
I'LL WRITE THIS OFF AS A
BUSINESS LUNCH.
>> Shake: AND THEN 10 GRAND
MINUS MY CUT.
MEATWAD, YOU REALIZE YOU'RE
GONNA WALK OUT IF THIS WITH,
LIKE, 30 BUCKS!
>> Meatwad: YUP!
I CAN BUY ALL THE CABLE TV I
WANT.
>> Carl: WHAT ARE YOU, OUT OF
YOUR MIND?
YOU PAY MONEY FOR CABLE?
[ LAUGHS ]
>> All: YOU'RE STUPID.
>> Shake: YOU GOT THE GUN?
>> Meatwad: I COULDN'T FIND NO
SERIAL NUMBERS TO FILE OFF, SO
I DONE FILED OFF THE WORDS
"TUB AND TOILET."
>> Shake: GOOD IDEA.
IS IT LOADED?
HEY, MAKE SURE IT'S LOADED.
>> Meatwad: I ATE SOME, BUT I
THINK THERE'S ENOUGH HERE TO DO
THE DEED.
>> Shake: YOU KNOW THE GUY,
RIGHT?
>> Meatwad: MM-HMM.
THIS HIM -- MR. DiCENZO.
I GO UP TO HIM, AND I SQUIRT HIM
UP IN THE EAR TWICE.
THEN I APOLOGIZE, AND THEN WE
RICH, BOY!
>> Shake: AND I'LL BE RIGHT HERE
WITH BACKUP.
IF HE TRIES TO CHASE YOU, HE'S
GONNA GET A FACEFUL OF MY LITTLE
TANGERINE DART GUN HERE.
>> Meatwad: DON'T WASTE THE
AMMO IN HERE!
YOU GONNA NEED THOSE.
>> Shake: I'M JUST SO MAD!
WHEN YOU GOT ONE OF THESE
BEAUTS IN YOUR HAND, IT'S LIKE
YOU'RE A GOD OR SOMETHING!
>> Meatwad: [ PANTING ]
OKAY, I'M GONNA DO IT!
>> Shake: HANG ON! WAIT!
>> Meatwad: WHAT?
>> Shake: SILENCER.
>> Meatwad: [ Italian accent ]
SIGNOR DiCENZO, I GOT A MESSAGE
FROM SHINY SHOE SAL.
ARRIVEDERCI.
[ GUNS COCKING ]
OH, DANG IT.
>> Shake: I GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
FREE CABLE! YEAH!
>> COME ON, TOUGH GUY.
LET'S TAKE A RIDE.
>> Meatwad: FRYLOCK SAYS I AIN'T
SUPPOSED TO RIDE WITH STRANGERS.
BUT OKEYDOKEY.
THIS IS A NICE CAR.
IT'S PRETTY ROOMY BACK HERE,
EVEN WITH THAT OTHER GUY THAT'S
NEXT TO ME.
HE DON'T MOVE MUCH, AND HE'S
REAL WET.
OH, GOOD! LOOKY THERE.
HEY, CAN YOU TURN UP THE AIR
BACK HERE?
OKEYDOKEY.
>> AND UH, THIS -- THIS RIGHT
HERE?
THIS THE GUY?
>> Meatwad: YEP, THERE HE IS IN
THE WINDOW, LOOKING ALL SCARED.
>> YEP. HE SHOULD BE.
>> Meatwad: HE'S A WHITE GUY,
LIKE I SAID.
HE LOOKS REAL WHITE RIGHT NOW.
OH, LOOK.
NOW NO ONE'S HOME.
>> UH, OKAY, LOOK.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS
THE WRONG WAY OR ANYTHING, BUT
I'M TIRED OF TALKING TO YOU.
GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF MY CAR,
PLEASE.
>> Meatwad: OKAY.
WELL, THANKS FOR THE RIDE.
NOW, DO YOU GIVE ME THE
10 GRAND FOR PUTTING TWO IN YOUR
EAR?
>> YEAH, WE'LL, UH, MAIL IT TO
YOU.
>> TURN AROUND. ROLL AWAY.
>> Meatwad: OKEYDOKEY.
>> LITTLE FARTHER.
>> Meatwad: OKEYDOKEY.
>> KEEP ROLLIN'.
>> Meatwad: OKEYDOKEY.
DO Y'ALL NEED ME TO FILL OUT A
W-9?
>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?
>> Meatwad: I'M MEATWAD.
>> OF COURSE YOU ARE.
GET LOST!
>> Meatwad: SEE YA LATER!
HEY! THE CABLE'S BACK ON!
>> Frylock: YEP.
I GAVE CARL A 12-PACK, HE DRANK
IT, AND THEN HE CLIMBED UP THE
POLE AND HOOKED UP THE FREE
CABLE.
>> Meatwad: HOW WAS WORK,
FRYLOCK?
>> Frylock: OH, I GOT BIT BY A
BAT WHILE I WAS REFILLING THE
RANCH DRESSING.
HAD TO GET RABIES SHOTS.
GOT SHUT DOWN BY THE CITY.
SO I QUIT.
HOW WAS YOUR "JOB"?
>> Meatwad: IT WAS COOL.
MET SOME NICE GUYS.
[ MUFFLED GUNFIRE ]
COOL!
CARL GOT US FREE SURROUND
SOUND, TOO?
BOY, YOU CAN REALLY HEAR THEM
SEMI-AUTOMATICS JUST POP IN THE
BACK SPEAKERS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
WHICH IS WEIRD 'CAUSE YOU'RE
WATCHING A GAME SHOW.
I'M GONNA GO THANK CARL.
>> Frylock: I'D GIVE IT A COUPLE
OF DAYS.
>> BETTER BUY CUSTOMERS, IT IS
NOW 9:55.
WE WILL BE CLOSING IN 5 MINUTES.
>> Shake: TURN IT BACK ON,
CREEP!
I'M WATCHING THE SHOW HERE!
THE SHOW WHERE THE ANIMALS ON
THE PAJAMAS COME TO LIFE AND
HELP THE LITTLE BOY!
THAT'S MY SHOW, MAN!