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A SERIES OF REALLY-WORTHWHILE-BUYING
CAN'T-MISS, INSPIRATIONAL VIDEO LESSONS
THAT SOMETIMES TEACH YOU STUFF
PRODUCED BY SCHEMER, WRITTEN BY SCHEMER
DIRECTED BY SCHEMER, AND STARRING SCHEMER AS HIMSELF
TAPED ON LOCATION IN HIS VERY OWN ROOM.
AND NOW, LET'S JOIN ME.
AH, LETTERS.
YOU KNOW, MYSELF BEING SUCH AN IMPORTANT PERSON
I GET A TON OF THEM.
OH, OH, AH-- HERE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE ONES RIGHT HERE.
"DEAR SCHEMER, HOW DO YOU DO IT?
EVERY DAY, YOU PROJECT SUCH A TERRIFIC QUACKERY OF..."
TERRIFIC QUALITY--
I CAN'T READ MY OWN HANDWRITING--
"A TERRIFIC QUALITY OF PERSONAL STYLE.
PLEASE TELL US HOW WE CAN DO IT TOO."
SIGNED TIMMY, WHO IS A TOTAL STRANGER.
WELL, FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION THIS, TIMMY
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT TODAY'S LESSON IS ALL ABOUT:
HOW TO HAVE STYLE.
HERE, HOLD THAT, PLEASE.
BUT NOT ANY KIND OF STYLE--
I'M TALKING ABOUT...
HOW TO HAVE STYLE A LA SCHEMER.
NOW, WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO HAVE STYLE IN THE FIRST PLACE?
WELL, FIRST OFF, IT GIVES ME A GOOD EXCUSE TO DO A SHOW.
QUIET.
SECONDLY, IT SHOWS THAT YOU HAVE
A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF RESPECT FOR YOURSELF
AND IT'S A WAY OF SHOWING RESPECT
FOR OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL
BECAUSE A SLOPPY PERSON MAKES EVERYBODY SAD
BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO SAY
"HEY, LOOK AT THAT SLOPPY PERSON.
HOW SAD."
NOW, WHAT I AM DEMONSTRATING RIGHT NOW
IS, AND I REPEAT, IS NOT, IS NOT, I REPEAT
THIS IS NOT STYLE A LA SCHEMER.
BUT FOR AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT IS STYLE A LA SCHEMER...
( electronic music )
LET'S WELCOME MY FAVORITE LITTLE NEPHEW, LITTLE SCHEMEE
IN A FABULOUS CAVALCADE OF SEASON FASHION A LA SCHEMER.
SCHEMEE!
LITTLE SCHEMEE IS OBVIOUSLY, HERE, A GENIUS
WITH HIS CRISP AND BOUNCY SPRING OUTFIT.
HE'S A TROPICAL BIZ-*** EXTRAORDINAIRE
IN THIS GROOVY SUMMER "ENSEM-BLEUUH."
OUR BOY WONDER PUTS THE "AH" BACK IN "AHN-TREPRENEUR"
WITH THIS EXCELLENT FALL OUTFIT.
TENNIS, ANYONE?
AND HE'S THE GREATEST GUY WHO EVER LIVED
BESIDES HIS UNCLE
IN THISWINGING, CASUAL WINTER GET-UP.
FIGURE SKATING, ANYONE?
( doorbell ringing )
HEY, I DID NOT PROGRAM THIS MUSICAL MACHINE
TO DING-***.
( machine whistles )
IT'S THE DOOR.
COME IN!
ARE YOU SCHEME
IS THIS YOUR ROOM?
YES AND YES.
YOUR MOTHER SENT ME TO FIX THE BED.
I'M A RPENTER.
HEY, YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHAT I'M DOING
HALF-UNDRESSED IN A TUTU.
TO EACH HIS OWN, PAL.
FORGET ABOUT HIM.
NOW, THIS IS WHAT I MEAN BY STYLE A LA SCHEMER, HUH?
THERE WE GO.
THE SHIRT, THE JACKET, THE TIE, THE PANTS, THE SHOES--
IT ALL SAYS, "I'M A CLASS GUY WHO IS BASICALLY A GENIUS."
YET, THERE'S SOMETHING MISSING
THE CROWN JEWEL OF RESISTANCE
AND WHAT I REFER TO, OF COURSE, IS THE CURL.
IT SAYS, "I AM SCHEMER, OR I ALMOST AM, SORT OF."
LISTEN, GROW IT, CARE FOR IT, CHERISH IT ALWAYS.
( funny bouncing noise )
TELL YOU WHAT, YOU JUST COPY THIS
AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE, HUH?
S?
YEAH, I GOT A QUESTION.
WHY ARE YOU TELLING EVERYBODY
THAT THEY HAVE TO LOOK AND DRESS
EXACTLY LIKE YOU?
WHEN SOMETHING S SUCCESSFUL
YOU LET IT SUCCEED.
DON'T YOU THINK THIS LOOKS TERRIFIC?
MAYBE IT'S TERRIFIC FOR YOU
BUT IT'S NOT FOR ME.
BUT IF YOU LIKE IT, YOU SHOULD WEAR IT.
WHAT IS THIS--
TS?
NO, THIS IS MY VIDEO, AND I LIKE THE WAY THAT I DRESS.
IT IS UNIQUELY UNIQUE.
YE IT IS, I AGREE COMPLETELY.
I LIKE IT TOO.
IT SURE IS, BUT IF EVERYBODY DRESSED LIKE THAT
THEN IT WOULDN'T BE STYLE A LA SCHEMER ANYMORE.
IT WOULDN'T BE UNIQUE.
IT WOULD BE BORING.
LIKE I SAID, PAL, TO EACH HIS OWN.
OH, SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT IF EVERYBODY DRESSED LIKE ME
THAT I WOULDN'T BE UNI...
HEY, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE.
I NEED A PART FROM THE TRUCK.
HMM.
YOU GOING TO LET HIM TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT, UNCLE SCHEMER?
HEY, DON'T BUG ME, BOY.
I'M ABOUT TO BUST INTO A SONG.
( music )
HERE WE GO.
READY?
♪ JUST WEAR THE RIGHT DUDS FOR THE RIGHT OCCASION ♪
♪ THEN WASH 'EM IN SUDS AT WORK OR VACATION ♪
♪ WEAR 'EM AT SCHOOL OR AT THE ZOO ♪
♪ BUT WEAR 'EM ONLY IF THEY'RE RIGHT FOR YOU. ♪♪
♪ IF THEY'RE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪
WEAR THE CLOTHES THAT ARE ONLY RIGHT FOR YOU.
BUT MAKE SURE IT'S RIGHT FOR WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
NOW, AS FOR STYLE A LA SCHEMER, WELL, UM...
I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT, PERSONALLY
BECAUSE, LET'S BE HONEST ABOUT IT
YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO LOOK AS GOOD AS ME ANYWAY.
UNCLE SCHEMER, LOOK OUT.
OH, OH, HEY, HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA...
Schemer: SCHEMEE, YOU BETTER NOT BE FOOLING AROUND
IN FRONT OF THAT CAMERA AND WAVING TO EVERYBODY.
ARE YOU WAVING AT THE PEOPLE IN THE HOME AUDIENCE?
HEY, YOU BETTER NOT BE FOOLING AROUND OUT THERE.
SCHEMER!
IS THAT YOU IN THERE, BUDDY?
SKIP, IS THAT YOU?
HOLD ON, I'LL GET YOU OUT.
OH, THANKS.
WATCH OUT, SON.
ARE YOU READY?
READY.
HERE WE GO.
Schemer: OH, CAREFUL, CAREFUL, CAREFUL
CAREFUL, CAREFUL, CAREFUL, CARE... AH.
THERE WE ARE.
THANKS, SKIP.
NO PROBLEM.
HEY, LIKE THE WAY YOU'RE DRESSED.
AND I LIKE THIS SHOW
BUT THAT'S IT FOR NOW.
I HOPE TO BE SEEING YOU SEEING ME NEXT TIME
WHEN SCHEMER PRESENTS SCHEMER PRESENTS.
SEE YOU.
LIKE THE WAY THAT GUY'S DRESSED, TOO.