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Announcer: IT'S TIME FOR A HILLBILLY MOMENT.
[GOOFY LAUGHING]
KNOCK-KNOCK!
HUH-HUH! WHO'S THERE?
FISH.
FISH WHO?
I'M GOING TO HIT YOU IN THE HEAD WITH A FISH!
HA HA! HUH?
HA HA HA! THAT'S A GOOD ONE!
YUP.
JA, OK, VELCOME TO OUR VIDEO STORE. HOW AM I TO BE HELPING YOU?
I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER RIGHT NOW.
PAPA! THIS LADY, SHE SCREAMS FOR YOU.
JA, OK! I AM YOKKE BLOCKY.
HOW MAY I BE OF SERVICING YOU?
YES, I RENTE YESTERDAY, A
HERE PSET.
THIS ISN'T STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE AT ALL.
NO, NO, NO. YESTERDAY, YOU DID NOT ASK FOR PHANTOM MENACE,
YOU ASKED FOR VANTOM MENACE.
VANTOM? WELL, JUST LOOK AT THIS MOVIE. PLAY IT!
JA, JA.
I AM UPSET WITH YOU.
NOW, BECAUSE OF DIS,
I MUST HA-WHACK YOU VITH MY SABER OF LIGHT.
BUT THE FORCE, SHE IS VITH ME.
IF YOU HA-WHACK ME,
I WILL HA-WHACK YOU BACK WITH MY SABER OF LIGHT.
OW.
OW.
OW.
OW.
THAT'S NOT THE REAL MOVIE.
YES, IS BETTER. THIS WAS MY SON BISCOTTI
AND MY DAUGHTER BLINNI.
IS TRUE!
THANK YOU.
IF YOU WISH FOR HAVING MY AUTOGRAPH,
I WILL SIGN MY FACE FOR YOU.
I DON'T WANT YOUR SIGNED FACE. I JUST WANT THE MOVIE I ASKED FOR.
BUT THIS IS BETTER!
MUCH BETTER!
MUCH BETTER!
BETTER? NO, IT'S JUST SOME LAME VIDEO THAT YOU SHOT AT YOUR HOUSE.
OH, JUST LIKE THIS MOVIE, TOO. THIS IS NOT THE WIZARD OF OZ.
NO, NO, NO, YOU ASKED FOR THE WIZARD OF VOZ.
VOZ?
YES, THIS IS BETTER.
MUCH BETTER!
MUCH BETTER!
OH, YEAH? JUST LOOK AT IT.
JA, JA.
DOROTHY, IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN,
I WOULD HAVE A BRAIN.
BUT NOW THE WIZARD OF VOZ HAS GIVE ME BRAIN.
TOTO, TOO.
AUNTIE EM! AUNTIE EM!
I AM OVER THE RAINBOW.
THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE MY HOME. MY HOME.
WHAT WAS THAT GARBAGE?
THE CHILDREN, THEY LOVE FOR THIS MOVIE.
I WAS VERY GOOD, YES?
NO! THAT WASN'T THE WIZARD OF OZ.
THAT WAS JUST YOU AND YOUR BROTHER IN BAD COSTUMES.
IS TRUE!
THANK YOU.
HOW WILL YOU BE PAYING, WITH CASH OR CHARGE?
I'LL PAY YOU NOTHING!
OH...
OH...
OH...
IN FACT, I'M GOING TO REPORT THIS STORE TO BLOCKBUSTER HEADQUARTERS.
NO, NO, NO. WE ARE NOT BLOCKBUSTER.
WE ARE BLOCKBLISTER.
BLOCKBLISTER?
YES! IS BETTER.
MUCH BETTER!
MUCH BETTER!
YOU PEOPLE, YOU MAKE RENTING
ASANT.
UNPLEASANT!
TELL YOU FRIENDS!
BE COMING BACK AGAIN SOON!
HAVE A DAY!
JA, JA, VELCOME TO OUR VIDEO STORE. HOW AM I TO BE HELPING YOU?
I RENTED AUSTIN POWERS, AND YOU PEOPLE GAVE ME THIS.
JA, JA.
OH, BEHAVE. JA, BABY.
GRR. I AM THE AUSTIN POWDERS.
FRAGADELIC.
OH, BEHAVE.
THAT'S NOT AUSTIN POWERS.
YES, THIS MOVIE IS BETTER.
MUCH BETTER!
MUCH BETTER!
NO, IT'S WORSE! THAT WAS JUST YOU IN SOME LOUSY HOMEMADE VIDEO.
IS TRUE.
THANK YOU.
HOW YOU WILL BE PAYING ME, CASH OR CHARGE?
I'LL PAY YOU WITH THIS!
OH...
OH...
OH...
THIS LADY, SHE SPITS UPON US.
DO NOT WORRY. IN AMERICA, THIS MUST MEAN
THAT THEY ARE LOVING YOUR FINE ACTING.
AH!
AH!
LET US WATCH MORE OF YOU.
JA, JA.
JA, BABY. VERY SHAGADELIC.
I AM THE AUSTIN POWDERS. OH, BEHAVE.
THIS IS BETTER!
MUCH BETTER!
MUCH BETTER!
[APPLAUSE]
Woman: YEAH! MOVING ON, MOVING ON. HERE WE GO, GUYS.
[HUMMING]
HUH?
MOM! BILLY LEFT HIS RUBBER DUCKY IN THE BATHTUB!
Mother: BILLY!
Billy: SORRY, AMANDA!
♪ DA-DA-DA, SCRUBBING FOOT, DA-DA-DA ♪
HUH?
MOM, BILLY LEFT A TOY MOTORBOAT IN THE BATHTUB!
Mother: BILLY!
Billy: SORRY, AMANDA!
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DA ♪
GRR!
MOM! BILLY LEFT A LARGE PIZZA IN THE BATHTUB!
Mother: BILLY!
Billy: IT'S SAUSAGE!
IT SMELLS LIKE PEPPERONI.
Mother: BILLY!
Billy: SORRY, AMANDA!
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DA, WASH THE NECK ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DA ♪
MOM! BILLY LEFT HIS BICYCLE IN THE BATHTUB!
Mother:
Billy: SORRY, AMANDA!
♪ DA-DA-DA, SCRUBBING THE FOOT, DA-DA-DA ♪♪
HUH?
MOM! BILLY LEFT WOOFER IN THE BATHTUB!
Mother: BILLY!
Billy: SORRY, AMANDA!
ARF!
GO!
Billy: HEY, HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY 20-FOOT GREAT WHITE SHARK?
BILLY!
OH, JUST HUG ME!
OK!
Announcer: THIS IS A SPECIAL HALLOWEEN EDITION OF JUDGE TRUDY.
WHEN YOU HAVE A BEEF, DON'T TAKE THE LAW INTO YOUR OWN HANDS,
HE HANDS OK.
GET UP!
GOOD EVENING, I AM JUDGE TRUDY.
NOW, I UNDERSTAND WE HAVE A HALLOWEEN-RELATED COMPLAINT HERE.
OH, YEAH, I GOT A BIG COMPLAINT.
LET'S HEAR IT.
OK. TONIGHT I WAS TRICK-OR-TREATING,
AND WHAT DO I GET?
THIS!
[GASPS]
AND WHAT KIND OF DISEASED PERSON GAVE YOU THAT APPLE?
MRS. SHANE. THAT LADY RIGHT OVER THERE.
[BOO
DID I SAY IT WAS ALL RIGHT TO THROW GARBAGE AT MRS. SHANE?
NOW, NO ONE WILL THROW GARBAGE AT ANYONE UNLESS I SAY SO!
UNDERSTOOD? GOOD.
YOU MAY NOW THROW GARBAGE AT MRS. SHANE.
JUDGE TRUDY! CAN YOU TELL ME EXACTLY WHY
I'M BEING PELTED WITH GARBAGE?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT GIVE THIS POOR, DEFENSELESS CHILD
AN APPLE AS A HALLOWEEN TREAT?
WELL, YES, I DID.
ALL RIGHT, THEN THAT LEAVES ME THIS QUESTION:
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, WOMAN?
LOOK, I--
[GAVEL BANGS]
THE QUESTION WAS RHETORICAL.
NOW, LISTEN, ON HALLOWEEN, KIDS WANT CANDY,
NOT YOUR NASTY FREAKISH FRUITS!
YEAH!
BUT FRUIT IS MORE HEALTHFUL THAN CANDY.
OH, YEAH? THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST GIVE THE GIRL
A LOAD OF BROCCOLI, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?
LOOK, JUDGE TRUDY, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, BUT--
YOU KNOW, I SEE YOUR LIPS MOVING, BUT ALL I HEAR IS BLAH-BLAH-BLAH!
YEAH! BLAH-BLAH-BLAH-BLAH!
LOOK, I DESERVE TO WIN THIS CASE!
REALLY? WELL, HERE'S A LITTLE JOKE I WROTE FOR YOU. KNOCK-KNOCK.
WHO'S THERE?
YOU LOSE! I FIND IN FAVOR OF THE PLAINTIFF,
SHELLY BARNES, IN THE AMOUNT OF $4.6 MILLION.
I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY!
WELL, THEN I'LL HAVE TO CONFISCATE YOUR DRESS.
WHAT?!
NEXT CASE!
Announcer: OUR NEXT LITIGANTS ARE ENTERING THE COURTROOM.
SEE THE PANTS THAT GUY'S WEARING? I HAVE THOSE SAME PANTS.
YOUNG MAN, PLEASE TELL THE COURT WHY YOU'RE HERE.
WELL, I WAS TRICK-OR-TREATING AT THIS DUDE'S HOUSE,
AND HE YELLED AT ME AND MY FRIENDS. IT WAS UPSETTING.
WHY DID YOU SHOUT AT THIS BOY?
I HAD GOOD REASON, YOUR HONOR.
THAT DELINQUENT AND HIS NASTY LITTLE FRIENDS
THREW EGGS AT MY HOUSE, LOTS OF EGGS.
EVERYWHERE WAS GOO!
IS THIS TRUE?
YEAH, I EGGED THE DUDE
YOU SEE? YOU HEAR THAT? THE LITTLE HOOLIGAN ADMITTED IT.
SO?
SO?
DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU
THAT THIS BOY MIGHT HAVE HAD A REASON FOR EGGING YOUR HOUSE?
HAD
REASON? WHAT POSSIBLE REASON COULD A YOUNG--
SIR, DO YOU LIKE OMELETTES?
WHAT?
OMELETTES! DO YOU LIKE OMELETTES?
YES, I ENJOY THE OCCASIONAL OMELETTE.
SO MAYBE THIS YOUNG MAN WAS SIMPLY TRYING TO MAKE YOU AN OMELETTE
AND DELIVER IT TO YOUR HOUSE.
YEAH, OMELETTE!
BUT THERE WAS NO HAM, NO CHEESE!
MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE GOT SOME IF YOU HADN'T YELLED AT THIS KID!
YOU ROCK, TRUDY!
LOOK, I KNOW THE SCORE. HE EGGED MY HOUSE
BECAUSE IT'S HALLOWEEN.
I'LL HALLOW YOUR WEEN!
NOW, YOU LISTEN--
NO!
LISTEN!
NO!
LISTEN!
NO!
LISTEN TO THIS POEM.
ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE.
YOU LOSE! I FIND IN FAVOR OF THE PLAINTIFF.
BAILIFF, PUT THIS MAN OVER YOUR SHOULDER AND SPIN HIM UNTIL HE'S VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
YES, YOUR HONOR.
GOODNESS GRACIOUS! OH, I'M BEING SPUN AROUND!
COURT DISMISSED! BRING IN THE DANCING LOBSTERS.
[APPLAUSE]
Announcer: IT'S TIME FOR A HILLBILLY MOMENT.
[GOOFY LAUGHING]
KNOCK-KNOCK!
HUH-HUH! WHO'S THERE?
CUCUMBER.
CUCUMBER WHO?
I'M GOING TO HIT YOU IN THE HEAD WITH A CUCUMBER!
HA HA! HUH?
HA HA HA! THAT'S A GOOD ONE!
YUP.