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For some reason, I’ve gotten this reputation for hating the 3DS. People say I’m a Nintendo
hater, which I find fascinating because people also accuse me of being a Nintendo fanboy.
That doesn’t even make sense. The truth is I’m honest.
But this review isn’t about me. This is about the 3DS, a system that has only had
a handful of above-average titles at best, two of which are remakes of games from the
last century. You could put all but about five, maybe six 3DS games into a submarine
and send it to the bottom of the Mariana Trench...and no one on this planet would notice. They’re
that forgettable.
Only before you lock the hatch, be sure to throw this one in there, too.
Released in October, Pet Zombies takes the virtual pet genre popularized by games such
as Nintendogs...and adds zombies. Pet Zombies is a zombie game in which you can set them
on fire and do all the horrific things you normally do to the undead in a video game,
only this time, they love you for it.
I actually really like the concept. I think you could do great things with a pet zombie
game. The problem, of course, is that Pet Zombie itself doesn’t seem to agree.
You start by choosing your pet zombie from a group of zombie stereotypes. All your favorites
are there, from the dead cheerleader to the rotting surgeon. It’s funny, and there’s
certainly a nice amount to choose from...but why not make it a little personal? Just a
simple addition like Mii support would’ve gone a long way here. As funny as these characters
are initially, they pretty quickly lose their charm.
Once you have your zombie, the game actually begins...I guess. I mean, you can engage your
undead pet with a mirror and you can set him on fire, but there’s not a whole lot to
do. You have to unlock all the toys and items you use to play with your zombie, but you
have to do that by earning money...and you do that by playing a minigame.
There are a few different minigames to choose from, but they’re also locked from the start.
That means you’d better get used to this crappy slingshot game. I think actually fetching
a stick is more fun.
There is some humor here, though. The idea that your zombie likes torture is a nice touch,
but again, the game only goes so far with it. Your meanness only results in the joy
of watching your zombie suffer, which can be funny...but even that gets old, since the
implementation is so shallow. The same goes for dressing your zombie up, an interesting
concept that never really makes much difference in the long run.
If Nintendogs was shallow, Pet Zombie is like a puddle.
Now, the difference is Nintendogs had a ton of content and things to do, and it also created
a genuine attachment between you and your pet. Pet Zombie doesn’t. It’s a virtual
pet game without the charm and the depth of responsibility that comes with actual pets...or
actual zombies, for that matter.