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-Hi, guys.
I've got Baratunde Thurston here.
-What's up?
-How are you today?
-What's up?
Hello, everybody.
-Thank you so much for being here.
-You and you, and--
-And all of you.
-You again.
-Baratunde, you guys.
Comedian.
Loves technology.
Very good at technology.
-Love it.
Drink it.
-Loves politics.
He--
that's-- you have to teach me how to do that.
He's the author of the hit book "How To Be Black." He
just launched a new website, "Cultivated Wit." And we're
really thrilled to have you here.
-I am thrilled to be here.
Thanks for having me, Beth.
-OK.
You're joint us on Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is why--
-Yeah.
I don't believe in it, but it's cool.
- --I look like Avril Lavigne.
But it's fine.
Um, but it feels super apropos to have your political and
comedic mind at our disposal, because today we're talking
all about-- everyone's talking about America's most famous
bumbling corporate raider, Republican presidential
candidate, Mitt Romney.
-Oh, yeah.
He is the best.
-I bet when the number 47 began this week, it didn't
realize it was gonna be like a famous percentage.
-It's having the best week ever.
-It sure-- it sure is.
-Yeah.
-Can you briefly explain what happened with the Romney
campaign this week?
-Yes, so basically, Romney, many months ago, gave a
private fund-raising talk.
I think it was in May.
And someone recorded it without his knowledge.
And he was really relaxed and comfortable.
It was actually the most comfortable I've ever seen
Mitt Romney.
He's usually pretty stilted and awkward, and this was like
his natural state of being.
And he goes on to describe his election strategy of
abandoning 47% of the country, saying they're going to vote
for the President no matter what, they want government
handouts, and particularly, because they
don't pay taxes, they--
that he can't convince them to take personal responsibility
and care for their lives.
So it's an interesting way to approach trying to be the
president of the whole country.
-Sure.
-By, uh, ignoring about half of it.
-Right.
Taking half.
So this is what he secretly believes.
-And not so secret anymore, but it was a secret for a
while, until "Mother Jones" put him on blast.
-Once the scandal broke--
-Mmhm.
-Just-- you guys-- we here at My Damn Channel LIVE got our
crack team of researchers on the case.
We pored over every statement he's made,
every talk he's given.
We even found previously unreleased audio from
closed-door meetings.
And we at My Damn Channel LIVE have brand-new,
earth-shattering revelations surrounding the beliefs of
Mitt Romney.
-Yeah.
It's pretty exciting.
-Are you ready to make the front page of Drudge Report?
-I have wanted that my whole life.
Nothing more.
-Gosh.
It's gonna happen right now.
Let's do it.
-Who let the dogs out?
Hoo, hoo.
I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve this (WHISPERING) secret.
-During a visit to the GM auto plant in July, Romney was
caught on tape explaining that a carpool is a special pool at
your mansion that's just for your cars to swim in.
-Oh, oh, Mittens.
Also, at a meet-and-greet luncheon last year, Mitt
Romney told a room full of Florida retirees that the only
way to legally obtain mustard is from
another man's limousine.
-During an off-the-record talk with BP executives following a
Gulf oil spill, a confused Mitt Romney admitted that he
thought offshore drilling was a romantic evening on his
yacht.
-Makes me feel kind of bad.
-It does.
-Yeah.
-That's a sad one.
-And after a recent 5K road race with his vice
presidential candidate, Mitt Romney believed Paul Ryan.
BETH HOYT (OFFSCREEN): Yeah.
Yeah.
-Poor dude.
It's good to have a friend, but--
Finally, thanks to the video that came out this week,
Romney clearly believes that when you ask people to turn
off their cell phones or their recording devices, they
actually do.
Awww.
-Who let the dogs out?
Hoo, hoo.
I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve this (WHISPERING) secret.
-It's tough.
-It's kind of like Mitt Romney needs a guy like Mitt Romney
to turn around this whole Mitt Romney situation.
He's, uh, he's having a tough, tough, week.