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Well everyone wants to find the love of their life their soul mate but it's tough and so sometimes
you just want to give up on relationships and say I'd rather be single but if you're
thinking about throwing in the towel listen to what my next guest has to say first, relationship
expert David Steele has written this book it is called Conscious Dating Finding the Love
of Your Life and the Life and That You Love it gives insight on how the dating world
has changed and how you can adjust to find love and not lose yourself in the process
David joins us this morning as part of our book author series Hello David good morning to you
Good morning Danielle. Why did you decide to call the book Conscious Dating what does that mean?
I've made a lot of unconscious relationship choices I've been divorced twice
and so I wanted to figure out how if you're single
can you find the love of your life how can you do that?
i know how to do it wrong
I wanted to know how to do right so it's about being conscious about being aware of what you're
doing and understanding yourself and understanding relationships. You know I find it interesting that
we talked in the intro about how some people want to give up and say it's not for me
I can't do this anymore or they end up settling or feeling they have to kind of change
for their significant other to make things work but you say that you deserve to
be loved for who you are but why do you think that's such a difficult concept for some people
to grasp, David
Probably because it's the thing that we want most
and it's the biggest source of our pain and frustration when it doesn't happen
and so when you're trying to be loved
and you trying to love somebody and it's not quite working you're not quite connecting
you can't figure it out
and it seems impossible
and really
it's why most people give up on relationships and that's painful to me I want
to show you how you can be happy successful and fulfilled in relationships
and make what I call that Third Option
it's not about you being happy or me being happy is about how can we be happy together
what is the third choice is going to help us do that. You know the other thing that you
say in the book is that you also need to be ready and available for commitment, explain this
Ready and Available are two concepts that go together but they are different
being ready means- I'm single I'm ready to find the love of my life there's nothing interfering
with that
being available means
that I'm not involved with somebody else and
Well, that'd be nice, yeah we don't want you involved with somebody else!
many many singles are
aware that the person they're with is not long term
but they don't want to be alone, then they're not available to find their soul mate
uh huh, uh huh... you know
this is something that I found hard to believe you talk about this in the book you say there
more single adults in the world today than ever before, why is that?
We have two huge social trends happening right now
the first is the marriage rate is going down fewer people are getting married
the second which is very related is that the cohabitation rate is going up
so more people are living together fewer people are getting married and the failure rate of
cohabitation
is eighty to eighty five percent
that is
interesting what's also interesting is I was thinking that if you want to find love
don't you have to take a little bit of a risk that reward's not going to come without some
sort of risk, right? Success is a tension between
safety and comfort
and risk. In relationships especially risk means
pain and frustration but it also means success happiness love and fulfillment
and safety and comfort means being at home alone on your couch
you know you don't want to do that and one of the things that I think
is great about you is that you're the face of the company but you're
not doing this alone you've got a great group of people who are working with you now?
I'm the founder of Relationship Coaching Institute
we've been training relationship coaches since 1997
we have hundreds and hundreds all over the world you can find a trained and certified
Conscious Dating coach anywhere in the world
So David, what is the take away what do you want people to learn
I would like people to remember my Three M's for Success
Mindset . . .
Movement . . .
and Mentoring
Mindset- Who are you? What do you want? I'd rather be single than settle! Yes I can find what
I really want and I deserve happiness
Movement
I need to get into action I need to get out there I need to make choices and do it!
Go for it!
and not give up
and Mentoring
I need support I can't do this alone I get lost I go down dead ends all the time
I need somebody that
knows me knows who I am what I want that can show me the way. Well great way to wrap it
up and thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing this book and this information
with us this morning Conscious Dating Thanks David. Thank you.
Again the book is called Conscious Dating Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life
That You Love
for more information on David or the book visit his website at www.ConsciousDating.com