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[title music]
[thunder crashes]
[laughs evilly]
[sawing]
[electricity crackles]
It's alive!
[thunder crashes]
[laughs evilly]
[smooch!]
[laughs evilly]
7x17 - Batman Forever 21
[whimsical music plays]
Off to Neverland!
Come on, nana!
[bell jingles]
[barking]
[strained barking]
[barking stops]
[children laughing]
Yay!
Now, fantastic fools, you
shall feel the wrath of Doom!
Sheesh, Doom, why the heck
are you so grouchy all the time?
Yes! The finishing touch.
Now the world will tremble when
- they look upon Dr.
Doom!
- Dr.
Doom, wait.
The mask is not
[sizzling]
Aah!
Sweet lord in heaven!
Oh, wait.
The mask is upside down.
- Hold still, Doctor.
- A-a-a-a-aah!
- Okay, once more with feeling.
- You sons of
[sizzling]
Aah!
- Let us not delay.
- Yes, the codpiece remains.
What did you
did you say "codpiece"?
Aah!
Clock out, guys!
Oh, the codpiece is upside down.
What did you
Aah!
Sorry about your ***, dude.
You're going to prison, Sinestro.
All: No!
- We love him!
- Sorry, green fool.
Your ring won't affect anything
yellow, so I adopted
- a bunch of Asian kids.
- "A," that's incredibly
racist, and, "B," that's
not how my ring works.
I know, I know, but the more
I thought about it, the more
I fell in love with the idea.
I adore these little scamps.
All: We love you, Mr.
Sinestro!
Ohh, look at 'em!
Hi.
I'm a centaur
half man, half horse.
Please, do your part to help
keep my people alive.
- [bleep] a horse.
- # Sexy #
[techno music plays]
[horse whinnies]
sexy
horses are sexy
you should [bleep] a horse
horses are sexy
you should [bleep] a horse
right now
horses are sexy
you should [bleep] a horse
horses are sexy
you should [bleep] a horse right now
sexy
[horse whinnies]
Bear Grylls here.
Today, I'm gonna show
you how to survive in a
truly exotic environment.
Behind me are Matt Dillon,
Neve Campbell, and Denise
Richards from the movie
"Wild things.
"
[dramatic music plays]
What you want to do is distract
Matt Dillon by talking about how
good he was in
"Drugstore cowboy.
"
Then you finger *** the girls
under the water while the jets
- hide it all.
- Who are you?
You know, you were just incredible
- in "Drugstore cowboy.
"
- Oh.
[chuckles]
Oh, my gosh, this is the best
hot tub ever.
Ooh, I'm really branching out from TV!
And remember, a bird in the hand is
worth a hand in two
bushes.
[both moaning]
Dr.
Stone to Houston in the blind.
Is anyone there? Please?
Please, you're my only hope.
Hey, it's time for *** wax
and the fridge
in the morning
[boing!]
- Hello? Can you hear me?
- Hey, hot ***.
- You're on with *** wax and the fridge.
- Listen, I'm an astronaut
stranded in space.
A-actually,
I'm more of a medical
doctor than an astronaut
who, some would say, had no
business up here in the first place.
Uh-oh, sounds like someone's
a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs!
I'd let her suck on my cocoa puffs.
Oh, the fridge, you son of a ***!
[farts]
Listen! My name is Dr.
Ryan Stone.
- I need to reach NASA.
- [British accent] Well, my name is
Margaret Thatcher, and I
need some balls in my mouth.
Shut the [bleep] up, you morons!
Easy there, Dr.
Bone.
[boing!]
We'll connect you with NASA if
you can name the famous singer
- who had a nip slip yesterday.
- I don't know.
I've been in space this whole week.
Unh, unh, unh!
No nip slip, no NASA.
Fine.
Was it
Beyoncé?
It was Beyoncé!
You know your nip slips!
We'll connect you with NASA now.
[telephone rings]
- NASA headquarters.
Houston.
- Oh, thank god.
- This is Dr.
Rya
- Boom!
You just got fridged!
[toilet flushes]
Oh [bleep] it.
[alarms blaring]
[Tires squeal]
You are dead, ***!
- Oh, yeah?
- Aah, like a good neighbor,
- state farm is there!
- With state farm's peace!
Wh-What?
[grunts]
You messed with the wrong guy!
Aah!
We'll be holding an election
to determine Papa Smurf's second
in command, and since I'm the
smartest, I know you'll be choosing me.
[punch lands]
[whistle!]
[grunts, groans]
[southern accent] This is
nothing short of betrayal.
These blue buffoons have no idea
with whom they're trifling.
Hell, they don't even realize I've
landed on my head so many times,
I've lost my moral compass and
now speak with a Southern accent.
[dramatic music plays]
Now to smurf the pawns on the
smurfing board.
- Brainy Smurf?
- [normal voice] I simply had
to express my admiration to you,
Gargamel.
Even though your
villainous plots threaten my
people, I've always
appreciated their cunning.
Wow.
I-I didn't realize
how much I [sniffles]
- needed to hear that.
- I only wish there was someone
that could help you succeed by giving
you the location of Smurf village.
[Southern accent] And now in three, two, one.
- Wait! You could tell me.
- Smurfmate.
[normal voice] My dear, it
appears I've seduced you.
- And now I want a favor.
- Gee, I don't know if I should
Help you, Brainy.
Ohh!
Oh, my.
Oh, smurf it.
Smurf it right.
there.
[inhales deeply]
- Oh, it's so good.
- [Southern accent] Well, what did you expect?
This is not Netflix.
[normal voice] Looks like
someone had a secret past life,
- Handy Smurf.
- I it's not my fault!
My name is literally
slang for "hand job.
"
It took me years before I
figured out the whole
- handyman angle.
- As long as you build the
invention we discussed,
no one will be the wiser.
Oh, god.
[sobbing]
The votes are in, and
Papa Smurf's new second in
command is[gasps]
Hefty Smurf!
[cheers and applause]
Oh, he's just so hot.
At last!
I killed a geriatric, four-inch gnome!
"Least likely to succeed," my
***, class of '53, huh?
[cannon ***]
Are you double-crossing
[machine-gun fire]
Aah!
Uh, B-b-brainy did it!
He saved us.
I demand we redo the vote.
[cheers and applause]
And so, after a runoff vote,
I am honored to announce
that Papa Smurf's second
in command is Hefty?!
You just can't argue with how
hot he is.
[Southern accent]
Impossible!
I played the game perfectly.
I actually, you know what?
He is pretty hot.
As a Neanderthal, my brain is
way bigger than all you
*** erectus.
Okay, Oog.
Don't have to keep bragging
- how great you are.
- I think I do.
Yo, Ug, Durg, play them rocks.
[xylophone music plays]
[rapping] # unh #
# ah #
my name is Oog
spell it out
O-o-g, that's original
original gangsta, see?
I'm next on the evolutionary tree
your brain's the size
of a chimpanzee
[chuckles] # my hunting
skills are so fabulous #
I make *** erectus
look like *** habilis
All: Ohh!
I spit the hot fire
'cause I invented fire
then I ate the fire,
and it burned my mouth
so I screamed real loud
and spat out the fire
my advice
yo, don't eat the fire
check out my cave art,
horses and bison
here's me and your mama
that detail is fly, son
you don't understand
modern art at all
you wipe your *** with your
hand and press it on the wa-wall
so many girls want to rub
my stub
they come up to me
and hit themselves with a club
I got so many cave ***
I make rudimentary tools
[gunfire]
[grunts]
*** sapiens, mother[bleep]
Today was so fun, Baloo.
I loved that song you sang about
- the bare necessities.
- And you get that "bare" not
only means "basic," but also
that I'm a bear, right?
- Yes, we get the wordplay.
- Good night, Baloo.
Good night, little britches.
[snoring]
[dramatic music plays]
- Watch out, Baloo.
- Whoa! My tacos!
- Hi, Rebecca.
- Hi, Baloo.
Ooh!
[vocalizing]
- [gasps] Aah!
- What's wrong, Baloo?
Oh, I'm having those dreams
again about a life where I flew
a plane and ate tacos and
sometimes dressed in drag,
nominally to solve crimes but
mostly because I just enjoyed it.
[growls]
That's ridiculous.
You've always been a bear in the jungle.
[hissing] Who wants to be
my dinner to Aah!
[grunting]
- Aah.
- How did you do that, Baloo?
- I don't know.
- Both: Aah!
- He's catching on.
- Agent 754 is in danger of
remembering his former life as a
bush pilot and C.
I.
A.
asset.
Looks like our plan has fallen
into a real "talespin.
"
Tailspin, referring to both a
plane flying out of control
- and a crazy story.
- Yeah, we get the wordplay.
[jazz music plays]
[gasps]
Louie.
[electricity crackles]
You're the missing piece, Louie.
And now you're gonna tell me
about my former life, you dirty
[bleep] ape!
- You mean project Blackwater?
- Huh?
They put black dye in the
water and fed it to the bears in
the hopes that it would allow
them to pilot planes.
474 bears crash-landed.
It was terribly expensive.
You were the only bear that knew
how to read an altometer.
- Altimeter.
- See?!
And now that your
memory's returned, you're
a danger to them.
The things you know
[gunshot]
[dramatic music plays]
[gunshot]
Show yourself!
- Rebecca?
- That's right.
It's me, Baloo.
I can explain everything, as
- long as a bullet doesn't Aah!
- No!
It's payback time.
Drink, sir?
- No, thanks.
- Are you sure?
It'sBlackwater.
This is gonna be a real drag, by
which I mean it'll be tedious
and unpleasant, but, also, I am
- a male wearing female garments.
- Yeah, we get the wordplay.
[gunshot]
[all screaming]
Ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.