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[Amanda] Previously on Ugly Betty:
Why do they say it's not
your social security number?
You can't get one if you're
in this country illegally.
l need you to find my watch.
l left it
at a woman's apartment last week.
He dates anything that moves, and l
agree to smile and take their messages.
You may want to return some of these.
Nico's called twice.
Hi, Mom.
Who's filling his head
with stories about me and Fey?
Who gave him the music box?
l think it's time for Fey Sommers
to come out of seclusion.
He could be deported?
A very strong possibility, yes.
But he has a family, he pays taxes.
- He's a Mets fan.
- He's in Oprah's Book Club!
Given what you've told me,
your father's been red flagged.
''Red flagged''? ls that bad?
lt means the government
is investigating, and ultimately,
a judge could rule
to send you back to Mexico.
You could've just said ''bad.
''
Mr.
Suarez, something l have to ask,
you've been here for 30 years?
- Mm-hm.
- You never applied for a green card?
Never began the citizenship process?
What about amnesty in the '80s?
l was a little busy providing
for my family.
ls that a problem?
- Dad
- Look, the past is past.
l want to talk about now.
How much will it cost
for you to help us?
This meeting was pro bono.
My wife asked me because
she loves your daughter's product.
- Thank you.
- That fiber-loss cleaned her out.
But a case like this, if you
want to save your father,
it starts with a retainer.
- [Hilda] Twenty grand?
- Do you validate?
Hey, slow down.
After last night,
l think l need a walker.
We are late.
The meeting about
the Must Mode issue's starting.
Oh, Cruella De Vil can wait.
Your lost watch, ever figure out
which girl's apartment you left it at?
- No, Betty never told me.
- l was gonna talk to you about it,
but then we got interrupted.
lt wasn't your fault
We should take separate elevators.
Wouldn't want the office
getting the wrong idea.
Right, because my *** stuffed in
your paper shredder didn't tip them off.
- [elevator dings]
- [gasps]
Great.
Just great.
l could help you, l've got a lot
women's clothes up in my office.
- Hold these, please.
- Fashion clothes in the office.
- What are you doing?
- You gotta do what you gotta do.
The fastest first date l've ever had.
You can't be serious.
You actually think you got a shot?
Here, now?
l was just joking.
l mean
You smiled at me in the lobby.
Because l couldn't believe you
pulled a ditch and dash
with that poor girl back there.
You had it all played out in your head.
You, me, no one else here.
We'd be on the floor,
bodies sweating,
rug burn on my back.
- [elevator dings]
- Well
so much for that fantasy.
As we do every year
for our Must Mode issue,
your ideas, picks, lists
will be considered for inclusion.
[cell phone rings]
Nico, l told you, only emergencies.
No, you cannot submit
my apartment for *** Yo House.
Goodbye.
Family is staying with me, temporarily.
Remember, it's not just an ''it'' list.
There are personal ''musts'' as well.
Like ''must be on time.
''
For others, it's a bit more profound.
What's important is that
we tap into the issues
of our readers' lives they cannot face.
Move them to the next stage
in their lives,
promise them it won't
be another year
full of unanswered questions
and unresolved issues.
And, lest we forget,
it is about the
fashion must-haves for 2007.
And l can assure you,
it will not include polka dots.
- [gasps]
- That's it.
Start listing.
You have an 1 1 :30 layout conference.
Your father's office called,
editors meeting tomorrow.
There's this woman,
smoking hot, works on 27.
She's not wearing a shirt, has some sort
of accent.
Find out who she is, OK?
Must hunt down Daniel's babe.
Whatever Bradford Meade does,
he can't get rid of me.
[woman] Sometimes it's like
she's still here.
You remember what tomorrow is,
don't you?
How could l forget?
Nico, darling, l'm home.
- What is that?
- Dinner.
You didn't have much.
White wine
and Pecorino di Pienza.
lt's a cheese.
Goes great with pears.
And cereal goes great with milk.
How was your day, dear?
l picked these up today.
Brochures.
For schools in New York.
Don't be silly, schools here
don't meet your standards.
l was thinking of
the Hertzog School in Switzerland.
Expelled, remember?
l think, maybe,
boarding school's not for me.
l said that to the senator when
he sent me to the Chamberlin School.
He'd just won his first
Congressional seat.
He told me
''Willie, D.
C.
is no place
for my daughter to become a young lady.
''
[Wilhelmina]
Same thing for you and New York.
Boarding school has
a far better education,
far better people
and far better food than
''Captain Crisp.
''
''Cap'n.
'' l don't think he's
an official maritime officer.
[Betty] Dad, is this
everything from Mexico?
Yeah, birth certificate, passport,
maybe even an old baby picture.
Careful, l might be naked in that one.
The lawyer's gonna
need these documents.
Yeah, the lawyer we can't afford.
[Betty] There's enough to
apply for a green card.
You were here in '86,
and Reagan offered the amnesty.
l
l missed it, OK?
Look, l'm sorry
l'm putting you through all this.
But maybe if we tighten our belts,
got second jobs, maybe it
Dad, l really want to help, but my
first job is hard enough as it is.
- Not if you maximize your time.
- Hilda, don't go there.
- l'm not gonna sell Herbalux.
- Models don't want to lose weight?
lt's easy money.
lt's not the worst idea in the world.
l will set you up with
a basic package just to tease them.
What's this?
lt looks like somebody was torn out.
lt's nothing
just a photo of Mom
with an old boyfriend.
Ooh! Let me see!
A boyfriend? l thought you said
you were each other's first loves?
Can you stop with the damn questions?
l'm going for a walk.
lf that's OK, Betty?
What's with you? Obviously he
is sensitive about all of this.
There's something he's not telling us.
We're just trying to help him,
Hilda.
We deserve to know.
- Does that upset you?
- Of course it does.
Getting upset doesn't help.
He's always there for us.
We just we gotta
be there for him now.
Fine.
l'll sell Herbalux at Mode.
l mean, l'd do anything l'd have to.
But l'm not just gonna let him off the
hook.
Not until he tells us the truth.
OK, give it back to me, girl.
''The Vita Value pack contains all
essential vitamins from A to Z.
''
There's no such thing as a vitamin Z.
Hello, it's a catchy sales pitch.
What is more important
than the vitamin content?
''Half off when purchased with
the Nitro Nutrient combo.
''
Right.
The customers have to have
confidence in you and the product,
so don't be afraid to really
just put yourself out there!
Tired of sticking
your finger down your throat?
Wanna lose weight the easy way?
Ask me how! Herbalux can help!
That's a good line.
l might use it.
Now you are ready
for your secret weapon.
- ''Ten pounds in ten days!''
- God.
Do l really need to wear that?
l remember when l got pinned.
Shelley Jenkins did me the honor.
Did she get you a limo and corsage?
- Can l go and humiliate myself now?
- Yes.
Yes, you may.
Shelley always said, ''Hit 'em with
the appetite suppressants before lunch!''
Happy Herbalux-ing!
- Good morning, Marc.
- [woman] Thanks.
l have something
that might interest you.
Unless it's Taye Diggs
covered in baby oil, l doubt it.
You're enjoying a healthy smoothie.
Scientists are making great strides
in the health supplement market.
Most of them work in the
Herbalux lab in Hoboken, New Jersey.
- ln fact, Herbalux
- Would you please just?
Ten pounds?
- Reach for the stars.
- Marc.
We have phone calls to make,
don't we?
Yeah.
Work those halls,
you little diet diva!
l don't like it when she smiles.
lt's so metallic.
What did she want?
Looks like she's trying to earn
a few extra pesos for something.
lnteresting.
What's the status on
the list of boarding schools?
London and Milan passed.
There's still one school in Paris
that hasn't heard of Nico l think.
C'est parfait.
Get them on the phone.
Oh! And before l forget,
your meeting with Daniel's been pushed.
He's at a meeting in Bradford's office.
Editors-in-chief only.
Well, l'm sure Skippy
is holding his own.
My pleasure.
l like mine black, two sugars.
You want me to get you coffee?
l think that's why you're here.
And what gave it away?
Was it my accent?
Actually, you're the only person here
who doesn't edit a Meade Publication.
You're an editor.
Wow.
l bet that gets you
all the girls, huh?
Usually my magazine's
circulation count does the trick.
Circulation count.
Why, is it big?
Well, l don't like to brag,
but l am in the top five.
Oh, my God.
Listen, l'm sorry.
l'm new here, and l'm not really
that familiar with everyone yet.
- Of course.
l'm
- Daniel Meade.
Mode magazine.
The only one in this room
who was born into his job.
[Bradford] All right,
let's get started, everyone.
l have news.
Some might call it exciting news.
ln January, Meade Publishing
launches a new weekly,
targeting ''the empowered, modern
woman.
'' You'll get the press release.
The point is l wish to introduce
best-selling author and editorial brains
behind our new magazine, MYW,
- Sofia Reyes.
- [crowd applauds]
Sofia, what's the name of your new book?
Making Your Man a Bottom.
[exhales deeply]
And Herba-aid doesn't just hydrate.
lt contains proteins,
which helps repair
muscle after your workout.
- Terrific.
- l told you, you can't be here.
What is your problem? l was mid-sale!
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
- Do you want me to call the cops?
- What could you possibly tell them?
- This doesn't concern you, ma'am.
l'll worry about that.
You worry about
calling me ''ma'am'' and getting hit.
- l was gonna leave anyway, so
- Stay where you are.
You need to apologize.
- Oh, me?
- Yeah.
- She's breaking the law.
- Legal expert,
tell me what it says in subchapter 27
of chapter two of title 20
of the administrative code
on occupational licensing of vendors?
Or how about the Constitution?
Little thing called
''freedom of assembly''?
Yeah, well
you can forget about your free towel!
That was amazing!
Don't tell him, but that subchapter
applies to disabled veterans only.
- How you doing? l'm Leah.
- Hi! l'm Hilda.
- So you're, like, a lawyer?
- Yeah.
[cell phone rings]
- Hold on one second.
- Sure.
- Hello?
- She's wearing a wedding ring, Hilda.
- What are you talking about?
- The picture of Mom.
- She's wearing a wedding ring.
- So it's a picture of Mom and Dad.
No, they weren't married in '75.
Dad said it was an
old picture of her boyfriend!
- Give me one second?
- l gotta go.
lf you need anything call.
Truth is, best place to find me is here,
- l get my yoga on 8:00 every morning.
- OK, thank you!
- Hilda, are you listening?
- l heard you.
Mystery photo.
Stop playing Nancy Drew.
You're supposed to sell.
So how are you doing?
Betty? What are your numbers?
Christina bought $1 0 worth of
protein bars.
She likes the taste.
Of course, she eats sheep's stomach.
Ten bucks? Great.
Well, Dad could buy a set of maracas
when he's sent back to Mexico.
You're not wearing
the secret weapon, are you?
l am coming down to Mode and
l'm gonna show you how it's done.
What? Wait! No!
Hilda! Oh, my God.
[chuckles] Things with Nico are fine.
llsa's steaming her pores as we speak.
Good.
While you've been playing Mommy,
l've been planning
something for Bradford.
That's right,
today's his special day, huh?
l wonder how he'll celebrate.
l'm sure the way Bradford Meade and Fey
Sommers always celebrated birthdays
together.
- Anything l can do to help?
- No.
lt's a birthday date for two only.
l am more concerned with what
you have planned for Daniel.
He seems to be finding
his footing there these days.
You do realize it will be impossible
for us to take over the company
if he's got any power there.
l know.
The little nugget
remains a threat to our plans.
But, short of taking
a bat to his knees
l like where you're going
lt just occurred to me,
maybe the one thing we can exploit
is the person who's been
propping him up all this time.
[wheezing] lt's an emergency!
Bergman's shoplifting Nico!
[Daniel] She made me feel
like a complete ***.
- Women don't treat me like that.
- Not the women you usually date.
Didn't l ask you
to find out who she was?
Yes, l'm sorry, some things came up.
Besides, a no-shirt hottie
with an accent?
That's every model who
walks through this office.
You could've been
a little bit more specific.
Daniel, Sofia Reyes,
she's a best-selling author.
The Times profiled her last month!
And, oh yeah, ABC News reported rumors
of this magazine launch last week.
Books.
Newspapers.
ABC News.
l pay attention to which of those?
- None.
- Exactly.
She thinks l'm an unqualified himbo
who got the job because of my father.
Don't say anything.
This woman had me figured out
like no one l've ever met.
She was ten steps ahead of me
at every point.
- So just apologize.
- No, l can't just apologize.
lt's got to be smarter,
you know, skillful,
something profound.
Jewelry!
Call Nigel over at Tiffany.
Tell him to send over the usual.
Oh, Miss Slater, there you are!
- You put me in here.
- There must've been some mistake.
Obviously, you were unaware
the dress had been placed in your bag.
- No.
l shoved it in there.
- Clearly you thought you'd paid for it.
- We'll just forget this whole mess.
- You talked to my mother, didn't you?
This store considers Ms.
Slater
to be one of its dearest friends.
As she does you.
Oh.
She sent her ***.
l'll leave you two alone.
- Nico.
- Marc.
Did you think imitating that
very special episode of *** Brewster
was gonna get your mother's attention?
So this is it, huh?
Looks like a gay version of Star Trek.
- Ready to start selling?
- Are you ready to start listening?
- No, l did not come here for that.
- Hilda, look at this hand!
This is not Dad.
The pigmentation is all wrong.
Pigmentation? Are you selling Herbalux
or getting an online forensics degree?
- Hilda
- The more we argue, the less we sell.
Are you serious about this? Because
l tried.
lt is just really demeaning.
l would put on a chicken suit
and stand on the corner
if we could make the cash
you'd make here.
Come on, it's for Dad.
Fine, but lose that stupid cutout.
Oh, no, you did not just insult Melanie.
[up-tempo music plays]
Five, four,
three, two
Ten pounds?
ls that, like, for real?
- [record scratches]
- What the hell's going on?
Actually, you see, it's
- Do you realize you've broken rules?
- Oh, really?
Can you tell me what subchapter
The Constitution says
''freedom of assembly.
''
How cute.
Cesar Chavez in a push-up bra.
This is private property, sweetheart.
Pack up your stuff and get out.
And you, in my office.
Now.
Candace Bushnell wants to pitch
a story on power women in Manhattan.
Tell her to call
when she gets an original idea.
- Multitasking?
- Oh, my new friend, Daniel Meade.
Friend? lt didn't seem too friendly when
you sent this gift back to my office.
The necklace.
lt's absolutely lovely.
- But not for me.
- Not your taste?
No, not for me.
lt's very generic, Daniel.
lt's the kind of gift you give
to the girl you just banged,
or the one you wanna ***.
Whoa, whoa, can we back up a second?
You have the wrong impression of me.
- Really?
- Really.
Lara.
You know, l
l thought l recognized you.
[Wilhelmina] Daniel
doesn't have to know about this.
Secrets can stay between friends, right?
- Friends?
- Well, at Mode,
l think of all of us as family.
And family sticks together,
through the good times and the bad.
Do you know Rodrigo in Styles?
- Sure.
He has great taste.
- lmpeccable.
But you wouldn't know that
if an anonymous donor hadn't
paid his way through design school.
Betty, strong people are
the ones who ask for help.
Um
My father
is going through some
Some legal problems.
And my family was told
that for a good,
supposedly great lawyer,
it would cost us $20,000.
Well, Betty, l have a daughter
l would do anything for.
Just as you
would do anything
for your father, l'm sure.
What do you want in return?
ls that something you ask family?
Happy birthday, Fey.
l'm so sorry.
l wish you knew
how much l missed you.
Fey?
- Do you know what this means?
- [Christina] lt's blood money.
lt's her way of getting to Daniel.
Once you cash that, you belong to her.
No, l know that.
But do you know
what number one on my ''must list'' is?
Get my dad a lawyer.
This could be
the answer to my family's problems.
ln the movies they have to kill someone,
sleep with them or both.
- And my dad
- Enough about the mystery photo.
- Enough about the evil queen's check.
- So, what am l supposed to do?
lt's half-price night at the Rack, which
is why l dragged you here, to let go.
l'm making that the number-one priority
on your ''must list'' tonight.
- Well, that's easier said than done.
- Why do you think God invented alcohol?
Excuse me? l'll have what she's having.
[exhales deeply]
- l thought l threw that out.
- What are you doing up?
l had work to do.
Furs for the Must List.
- Care to look at them?
- Fur is ***.
l bought you a Nicole Miller
fur coat for your tenth birthday.
How could l forget?
lt was my 1 1th birthday.
You had me model it for a photo shoot,
which you didn't even show up for.
l believe the excuse was
dinner with Oscar de la Renta.
Well, someone had to convince him that
fishnets were only meant for stockings.
Nice to know you have priorities.
Kind of like today.
Oh, that's right.
Today was
your little cry for help, wasn't it?
That was amateur, darling.
When l was 1 5,
Mikhail Baryshnikov
came to the Salem Academy.
Afterwards, l was caught doing
a little dance of my own for Misha.
Now, that is acting out.
- How proud you must be.
- You don't get it, do you?
Act out as much as you want.
l did.
Seven schools until it finally hit me,
until l finally understood.
Being away from home, being away from
the ones you love, makes you strong.
Builds your armor.
Because in the end,
the only person in this world
you can depend on is yourself.
lt's the greatest lesson
the senator ever taught me.
- Mom
- Brush up on your French.
You leave for school
in Paris tomorrow night.
[sighing]
So, um
is everything OK?
The flag was kind of at half mast.
Would it be generic if l sent you
a necklace from Tiffany?
Oh, no, l loved it.
You sent it to me after
our first night together.
Of course l did.
And if l sent it to you as a
sort of an apology,
that would be OK, right?
Well, that depends.
Are you apologizing
for something in particular?
Yeah.
Making an ***
out of myself with Sofia Reyes,
the editor of MYW.
l sent her a necklace as an apology
gift, and she called me out on it.
Oh.
So the whole apology thing
was about her, not me.
What do l have to
apologize to you about?
Nothing
l guess.
You know, l'm not feeling too well.
- l think l'm gonna go.
- You OK?
Yeah.
l l think l feel
one of those 24-hour flus coming on.
l should go before l get you sick.
[speaking Spanish]
[continues speaking Spanish over TV]
- [TV turns off]
- [keys jangling]
Oops.
That step's a tough one.
Why are you sneaking in
through the back?
- Are you drunk?
- Yeah, a little bit.
- l'm going to bed.
- Let me get you some water.
- No, l'm fine.
Dad, let me go!
- What's the matter with you?
- What's going on? Talk to me!
- Talk to you?
Why don't you talk to me?
Why don't you tell me why Mom is wearing
a wedding band in this picture?
Or who's the guy in
the photo with her really?
There you go.
l don't have to explain myself to you.
l'm your father!
Then act like it!
l've always looked up to you, Dad.
Right, wrong, l could take your lead.
Now, l'm lost.
- A little less slamming, please.
- Mm-hm.
Here.
You're gonna need this.
Thanks.
So
- Dad left early.
- l don't want to talk about this.
lt's a little too late for that, now.
l heard what you said last night.
- So did half of Rego Park.
- l'm sorry.
Apologizing to me
isn't gonna change what happened.
What went on after
l left the office yesterday?
l got punished.
[gasps]
ls this real, or is it
one of those Ed McMahon things?
lt'll cash.
Twenty grand.
So cash it!
This is the answer to
Hilda, look closer.
Wilhelmina Slater?
- Oh, that stuck-up
- Exactly.
She'll want me to sell Daniel out,
so she can take his job.
Her money, my soul.
Look, l'm gonna try and
figure something else out, OK?
See if there's another way.
But this might be our only option.
Can l get the number
for Fashion TV, please?
[elevator thumps]
What the hell just happened?
You're getting back at me, aren't you?
For yesterday.
You planned this.
Planned this? Yeah, l got
a side job with the elevator union.
Really? l'll take the stairs next time.
- Do you always get the last word in?
- Only with you, baby.
Great.
Last time this happened,
it was four hours of Kevin Federline
trying to cornrow my hair.
No reception.
What now?
We're between floors.
lf l get up there,
l could pry the door open
on the next floor.
Somebody's seen Die Hard
too many times.
Oh, God forbid you
wrinkle your jacket.
Listen, how about we
do the obvious?
Come on, give me a boost.
- Are you serious?
- On your knees.
- And, Daniel, don't look up.
- Don't flatter yourself.
Good.
Because l'm not wearing any underwear.
[Sofia grunting, straining]
[gasping, moans]
Are you OK?
- Yeah.
- [elevator dings]
You looked, didn't you?
Hilda! You gonna make me lose
another free towel?
No.
l really want to talk to you.
Have you ever done
any immigration work?
ln this neighborhood?
Besides, once l got my degree,
my Uncle Abraham
turned his place into
the lsraeli underground railroad.
Are you in some kind of trouble?
lf l tell you something, do we have
that attorney-client privilege thing?
- That only works if l'm your lawyer.
- Right.
For now, you got something stronger.
My word.
That'll only cost
you a cup of coffee and a bialy.
l don't feel like working out, anyway.
- Still haven't cashed it, l see.
- No, l haven't really had a chance.
Or haven't made the effort.
Steel yourself, Betty.
Think about what's best for you.
That's how we survive in this business.
Wilhelmina, you might want to get down
to the lobby, like, right now.
lt's Nico.
You too.
l think we might
actually see a live execution.
[Nico] Open your eyes, people!
lt's time to wake up!
The Must Mode issue
promotes the unwarranted
slaughter of innocent animals!
And it is the fault of one woman!
Wilhelmina Slater!
Nico, please,
you're causing a scene!
Great! l can't wait to see how
Wilhelmina Slater will handle this one.
So sorry l'm late.
Thank you for coming.
Ah, good to see you.
Nico, step into the good light.
Thank you so much for coming.
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Must Debate of 2007.
Animal rights versus fashion rights.
Just who is right?
You're gonna have to wait
until the Must Mode issue
is on sale January, 2007.
Thank you so much for coming.
Goodbye.
[indistinct chatter]
[man] Can we get one more shot?
You win.
l'll go to school in France,
anywhere you want.
But l'm not going quietly.
- We'll talk upstairs.
- No, we'll talk now.
- l am your mother.
- Mother?
Then maybe you should act like it.
But l guess you don't have
a clue where to start.
l mean
have you ever even
called the senator ''Dad''?
Never, huh?
ls that armor so thick you can't
even feel anything anymore?
Was that the goal?
Then congratulations.
You're putting together your Must Mode
issue? Things you must do.
You know what your
number one ''must'' should be?
Learning how to be a mother.
l appreciate your kindness,
but l can't cash that.
Of course you can't.
Good luck
with your family situation, Betty.
They're never easy.
l just wanted to say goodbye.
l think you said enough downstairs.
Marc booked your flight for Paris.
You leave tonight at 9:00.
l'll go back to your place
and pack my stuff.
Nico, contrary to what
you might think,
l do love you.
And l
l only want what's best for you.
You want what's best for you.
All right.
Yeah.
Hey.
l had it.
Your lost watch.
You left it at my place last week.
Surprise, right?
You never even thought to consider me.
l'm just a late-night call to you.
You need to find whatever it is
you're looking for, Daniel.
l just know, now, that it's not me.
[stammers] l'm sorry.
Amanda
- [door slams]
- [sighs]
- [Bradford] Well?
- [man] Checked it out.
Nothing.
Cameras at the cemetery
didn't catch a thing.
No Fey Sommers hanging out
at her crypt.
l saw her.
l'm sure of it.
How many times l gotta say this?
She's dead.
You're going crazy, you know?
- Damn it, l saw her.
- Whatever, old man.
[cell phone dialing]
Yeah, it's me.
Remember that associate
l told you about?
We need to have
a long conversation about him.
Dad
Do you remember when we danced
at my quinceanera and l broke my heel?
And l was so upset, l wanted to run away
but you wouldn't let me.
You just held me tighter,
and we kept on dancing.
You're our rock, Dad.
And l'm sorry for what l said
and how l acted.
l'm just gonna have to
forgive and forget, and
whatever it is,
you don't owe us an explanation.
Ramiro Vasquez.
The man in the picture.
Your mother was married to him.
[gasps]
Sit.
He was a wealthy man.
l was his chef.
Whenever l would
cook food for them, l
l always hoped your mother
would look my way.
One night
she did, and after that
we fell in love.
- Dad, if this is too hard for you
- No, no, no.
l
l owe this to both of you.
l could only sit back so long
and let him treat her the way he did.
l remember hearing her screaming,
her crying when he hit her.
And finally, one night,
l couldn't take it anymore.
Next thing l know
he pulled a knife.
So l
l hit him.
Just kept hitting him.
After that, we ran.
And l never looked back
because l vowed l'd never take
my eyes off your mother again.
l never applied for
a green card or amnesty
because
l was afraid
they'd send me back.
l killed Ramiro Vasquez.