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"Diese Beethovenjahrerei,
diese Beethoven, Bumm, Bumm, Bumm, Jahrerei,
dieses Bumm Bumm,
diese Beethovenbummelei, Bumms, Bummerei,
diese Bummserei, diese Beethovenbummelei,
Bummserei, diese Beethovenbummselei.
Alle 2000 Jahre wieder.
Diese Bummserei, diese Beethovenbummelei.
Rasulei, Beethovenrasulei,
Schnumm, Schnumm,
Bumm, Bumm, Bumm, Bumm".
"That's it. Going from the heart to the heart."
"Here is the Beethoven family's wine cellar,
discovered recently through an excavation."
Brobert,
Bemmet,
Bdorothy,
Brichard,
Beer,
Bschnaps,
Bwine,
Bossi,
Bjössi
Johannes van Bamsel,
Blackbird, Brahms,
Busy,
Bread,
Bamsterdam,
Brotterdam,
Bluster,
Bimmel van Bammel,
Brudolf,
Bjaw,
Bgeorge,
Bashtray,
Bemmet van Bemmet,
Beer van Bschnaps,
Be-with-us,
Bread van Braying,
Bcurtain,
Bthread,
Bpear van Appel,
Bear,
Bammdreh,
Beuys van Butter,
Befogged,
Basel am Brhein,
Bstefan,
Bsofie,
Btrophy,
Bisland,
Brass,
Brown,
Bitter,
Beiter,
Biter,
Bebeard,
Broast-potato,
Belectric lamp,
Bgas Lamp,
Boil Lamp,
Betroleum,
Blinoleum,
Bautomobile,
Bpelican,
BP,
Brappeln,
Blubmoss,
Brosemary,
Btoast,
Sausage,
Cheese roll,
Cheese roll van Sausage,
Good night, Good night..."
"And here is the household store room."
"We're leaving all that, and the evening after the broadcast
we'll have a real discussion. We!"
"And what about my film?"
"You just have to hope
that we don't need to cut the three minutes."
"Under no circumstances is he... I can see it,
he's an amateur, but he's chock-full of ideas...
But you can't reduce him to three sentences.
None of us can be reduced to three..."
"They're ideas that are very important."
"Yes, they're very important, so I think..."
"It's like this, this business, it's just..."
"Just do the arithmetic, Mr. Kagel.
4 minutes are 4 x 60 seconds, that's 240 seconds,
divided by 6, that's 40 seconds per nose.
How's that going to work?"
"I haven't limited myself to minutes"
"Or you can do this: We six sit here
and do a pantomime, getting really angry with one another.
The camera pans to and fro.
A bit blurred, a bit of living camera and so on,
with someone doing a voice-over.
And then the six uncles sat there and sat and sat and sat
talked and talked and talked and drank and drank and drank,
right, and afterwards we see them again."
"Or: We can talk about Beethoven."
"Beethoven." "Beethoven..."
"But please, there has to be something absurd about it."
"Then of course I'll take the 'Frühschoppen'
['Morning Drinks Show'] ad absurdum, we hadn't planned that."
"So then, the old guy has to say, Beethoven doesn't belong to us.
Beethoven belongs to the world.
Is Beethoven misused in the world?
So that goes round, and everyone must concentrate.
If it's written it down, guys,
then three or four sentences, or time is up!
And at the end I'll say,
tell me: Beethoven - was he really a drinker?
OK, run cameras.
So, does Beethoven really belong to the world?
If so, then might a German Beethoven-fan
actually ask the world:
What has the world Beethoven to thank for?
What does it owe him? Or:
What bad things has the world done to Beethoven?
Mr. Metzger, is there such a thing as Beethoven Abuse?"
"Oh, yes!
Bourgeois society, once revolutionary itself,
can no longer live without systematically sending
its classics to the dogs.
It is actually barely capable of interpreting its works correctly,
since it would find this entailed its own negation.
Accordingly, these days, the approved culture industry,
which by no accident is heavily subsidised from above by funds
that have to be raised from below, is entirely engaged
in distorting these works into something positive,
so as to make them enjoyable.
In the process, technically, this brings about a particular,
soothing kind of presentation, not based on any kind of analysis
or compositional structure, that would only be appropriate for entertainment music.
The deep desire to rob the intellect - whose essence is negativity
and the shattering of existing conditions -
of its cutting edge, ultimately neutralise
its unruly objectifying tendency,
and even give it decorative properties, was signalled long ago
in the names of many pastries:
Leibniz-crackers, Schiller-pasties, and Mozart Balls."
"What about Beethoven?"
"There's probably no comparable expression,
but all the same, he's performed as if there were.
The kind of musical practice directed towards uniform,
idealised universal digestibility, represented overwhelmingly today
by Herbert von Karajan, had already led,
thanks to the prevalent stupidity of celebrated performers,
probably unconsciously, but in compliance with the systematic pressure for appeasement
in current society, to a debasement
of the compositional factor in current performances
which meant that even Beethoven could become popular. Even if..."
"Mr. Heinz-Klaus Metzger, may I interrupt you here?
I don't understand everything you were saying,
but I understood one name: Herbert von - not van - von Karajan.
Has he... he's a conductor, isn't he?"
"Yes."
"Has this conductor done Beethoven a service
or a disservice through his interpretations?"
"Undoubtedly, a disservice.
Karajan is one of those many conductors
who conduct the orchestra, not the score.
So the orchestral sound is very beautiful, in terms of what today's concert audiences
consider beautiful, but there's nothing
in any Beethoven score that says it should sound beautiful."
"Mr. Metzger, whatever we two and Beethoven,
our third party, have in common
- it may not be much - but there's one thing: You're German.
You work for Weltwoche, a Swiss weekly newspaper;
I'm German, as far as I can see, and Beethoven?
Mr. Tomek: Austrian, like you are?
Is Beethoven, suppose one were to make an official
civic analysis of him these days... Is he German, or Austrian,
or something else?"
"Look, one will probably never get a clear answer to this question.
Always, as in Handel's case,
there have been lengthy controversies about where he belongs.
Basically, it's all pointless.
I think the question of misuse is far more important.
And maybe that looks different in Vienna to the way it does in Bonn or Cologne.
In Vienna, thanks to the retrospective effect
of the Austrian monarchy, Beethoven is still embedded
in a 'healthy Viennese world', so Beethoven is simply part of the populace."
"Mauricio Kagel: If we weren't sitting now in Cologne
or Bonn or somewhere in Beethoven territory,
but in Buenos Aires... that's the capital?"
"Yes."
"...and went out into the streets. Of ten people,
would more of them know Beethoven, or more of them Kagel?"
"Look, obviously Beethoven. You know, Beethoven always had
a sign fastened to his left vest pocket...
...and it said: Made in Germany.
And that's a really important point.
As a South American I was actually well able to observe
that love of Germany or an unfortunate dislike of Germany
always turned into love of German music.
That means that how often German music
was played during the war depended on the political situation.
And one mustn't forget that Fritz Busch and Erich Kleiber,
German emigrés, were very active in Argentina.
And one did German music as a sort of political demonstration."
"Mr. Metzger, does that mean that if an artist is great,
then whenever and wherever he lived, he is never out of date,
but always topical?"
"Yes, that's how it seems to me.
Within the most significant works of art, there is more
than has emerged so far.
There are works that have a very strong, immediate effect,
but then they're finished: They've been understood.
So they don't interest future generations.
But works that don't reveal their content so easily, where there's
always still something left inside: They can interest many generations.
So I wouldn't say that there is timeless art.
But there is art with a long life, that remains relevant
because there's always something in there that has yet to emerge,
that still poses riddles. And contains elements
or constellations that one still doesn't understand.
That's the case with Beethoven: That's why he is still interesting."
"Mr. Staub, Mr. Montes, Mr. Tomek, Mr. Kagel:
Do Goethe years, Beethoven years, Bach years, Wagner years, Schiller years,
or whatever year we happen to be in...
Do they make sense, Mr. Staub?"
"It has some sense. One is reminded of an artist,
and goes back to his works, in one form or another."
"Mr. Montes?"
"Sometimes they make sense, but not the one
the organisers have in mind."
"So more nonsense than sense."
"More nonsense than sense."
"Mr. Tomek?"
"If one survives this kind of anniversary celebration,
and still loves the master in question, then it makes sense:
Then one has a really indestructible relationship with him."
"Mr. Kagel?"
"They make no sense; if one's relationship to the composer
or author is the right one, one doesn't need some kind of
Beethoven year / Schiller year drapery to remember them!"
"Mr. Metzger, is drinking Beethoven's health a good custom, or an abuse?"
"I'd say it depends on who does it."
"So if you would authorize us to do it..."
"Oh, yes, please do."
"...then so we shall. Many thanks!"
"That, dear ladies and gentlemen, was our 'Frühschoppen'
['Morning Drinks Show'] With guests from five countries.
Today's theme: Is Beethoven misused?
Taking part were the Argentinian Mauricio Kagel,
the Austrian Otto Tomek, the Swiss Victor Staub,
the Spaniard José Montes, the German Heinz-Klaus Metzger,
and Werner Höfer as host."
"I am the last and only living descendant
of Ludwig van Beethoven, and on his mother's side.
The Beethovens come from ancient Flemish lineage,
resident in villages in the environment of the university town of Löwen.
Louis van Beethoven, Ludwig van Beethoven's grandfather,
was the first to emigrate to the Rhineland, and indeed to Bonn.
He studied choral music in his youth. When he came to Bonn,
he was employed as a bass in the Elector's chapel, at the age of 21.
Through iron resolve and great energy, he finally achieved
the exceptional position of Kapellmeister.
He married Johanna Maria Poll.
On the side he ran a small wine business.
This is probably the reason why his wife became a drunkard,
along with grief over the deaths of all the children
born before Johann van Beethoven, who was the only one to survive.
In the last years of her life she was placed under supervision
in a Cologne convent.
I greatly admire Ludwig van Beethoven, I like listening to his records
and we have got many documents and papers from his ancestors
that prove that I really am
the last descendant;
all those others who claim to be his descendants are wrong.
And I always carry a bust of Ludwig van Beethoven with me.
You can see the similarity, when I put our heads close together.
But proof of a much deeper similarity
is given by the rather dark colour of this bust.
This dark shading comes from the fact that there was also rather dark blood
flowing in Beethoven, via some mulattoes from the West Indies.
Here you can see another lighter bust, which should prove
that I really am a descendant of Ludwig van Beethoven.
And here you see an old shawm, it was owned
by Ludwig van Beethoven and is further proof
that I really am his descendant.
I just don't understand why people all doubt
whether I am Ludwig van Beethoven's descendant.
I can prove it here with documents and many pictures.
Here please, see for yourself, this album of family photos.
A whole gallery of ancestors!
And here too, look here:
More photos, more memoirs
of the Beethoven family.
And here, you see, all full up..."
"It is and remains..."
"I really don't understand that..."
"It is and remains an ignoble weakness, a disastrous time...
one is playing here in the third person."
"...and last maternal descendant."
"Beethoven's Conversation Books as the focus of a study
on the structural interdependence of involuntary literature and reception.
The Conversation Books were written
before the telegram had created a mannered form of writing,
and the telephone caused the decline of letter writing.
One speaks demurely; relationships are unclear.
One's almost healing the sick. People believe
that this environment is beneficial.
The books have none of the telegram's methodical clumsiness.
Nothing of its gouty goosestep. The language meanders along cheerfully.
Even educated people can't resist everything.
The speech is uneven, with gaps, abrupt, choppy.
I am a witness, I come from heaven above.
Beethoven's impatient conversation jumps from one point to the next.
One can trace the mental process of how he gets from Berlin to Vienna,
from opera to stocks and shares, from the maid to the quill.
Three volumes of crucial points. Chit-chat is his weakness.
There are weaknesses everywhere."
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
The following Horizon-Show programme continues its series of analyses.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
The Horizon programme continues its series of analyses."
"The world has lost its innocence. And without innocence...
please, please excuse me."
Effective strength
Coherence of expressive categories
Blood circulation
Coordinative occupational neuroses
Church music
Unfavourable conditions for movement and strength
Seconds
Demonic acoustic impression
Climactic states of tension
Unfortunate events
Collapsed accentual points
Normal healthy playing
Cause of congestion
Feeling of paralysis
Synchronisation
Active playing finger
Contentment
Acoustic sensual pleasure
Pianist's cramp
Inner clarity
Affect
Effect
Noise interval
Symptom complex
Professional illness
Pleasant monotony
Spot check
Blockages
Unsuitable usage
Composition
Sedatives
Conservatory
Devastating
Elbow
Pulse beats
Real spasm
Increased body weight
Subjective surveyability
Player's bodily activity
Highest demands
Limited comprehension
Artistic judgement
Experimental present time
Irregular interpretation
Spoilt enjoyment
Skeletal support
Shift of relationship
Rheumatic pains
Influence of treatment
Emaciation of the main part
"And that ends German Television's broadcast for this evening.
Next, forthcoming programmes for Week 23.
Good evening!"
"I'm not talking yet.
May it go from the heart to the heart."
"From the heart..."
"Beethoven composed, he was completely detached from the Earth.
But he was blessed in his creation.
He was the Earth..."
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