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(Frustrated groaning)
(Clatters)
Tank: Aren't you supposed
to give your hand a rest?
- What did the doctor say?
- That the tendons were cut
partially in two fingers.
I'm gonna be in this lobster claw
until they can tell how it's healing.
We're taking the
wait-and-see approach.
And yes, I'm supposed to be giving it rest.
I've been banged up enough in football
to know you gotta let
your body do its thing.
Oh, on the plus side, I
got a kick-*** extension
- on all my homework.
- (Laughs)
- Leave it alone.
- (Frustrated sigh)
Don't make me put you in a doggy lampshade.
- (Both laugh)
- (Door opens, closes)
Uh, my parents don't know about the party.
They think I cut my hand
on a glass of ice water,
not a beer bottle.
And my dad's
walking over here right now.
- Hi, dad.
- Hey, sweetie.
You must be Tank.
Sorry I missed meeting you
at the hospital.
John Kennish.
Yes, sir, I know.
The Royals
haven't been the same since you left.
(Laughs) Well, I appreciate that.
I wanted to thank you
for taking care of Bay,
thinking quickly and
getting her to the hospital.
Oh, I mean, I just did what anybody would.
Uh, no, he was amazing.
So, how's your season going?
We've won more than we
lost, so I guess that's good.
I tried asking Bay what position you play,
but it's Bay.
- (Laughs)
- Hey.
- Left scorer dude.
- Defensive end.
Yeah.
That.
Outstanding.
Well, we've
got to come to a game.
- Watch you go quarterback hunting.
- That would be awesome.
All right, I'm outta here.
- Good to meet you, Tank.
- You too, sir.
(Softly) Wow, your dad's really cool.
If you two want some alone time,
I can totally make myself scarce.
(Laughs)
Who'd have thought Bay would
go out with a guy named Tank
and that I'd be okay with it?
I don't think they're dating.
Really?
Why not? He seems great.
Parents don't get to
decide who their kids date.
You of all people should
be grateful for that.
I don't know what you're
talking about.
Your mom loved me.
We absolutely have to use this crystal.
Oh, hello, Senator.
- Hi.
- Renzo wants to throw a cocktail party here
to celebrate my book deal.
It'll just be the family.
I think that's a great idea.
Yeah, well, he wants it to be fancy.
- Oh?
- Mmm.
I bet you clean up real good.
I was thinking maybe we could
do book-themed cocktails.
- (Gasps)
- You know, "Tequila Mockingbird,"
"Lime and Punishment"
or my personal favorite,
"Last of the Mojitos.
"
- (Both laugh)
- Sounds like fun.
Really? You're not just saying that?
Sweetie, I think that it's a great
idea that you're writing again.
What exactly is it that you're writing?
It's a novel,
umm, inspired by our early life together,
back when you were playing baseball.
Wow.
Sounds like a best-seller to me.
Too bad the title "The
Natural" is already taken.
(Laughs)
I think you left out a few details.
(Softly) I just can't blurt out
that I'm writing an *** novel
based on the sex lives
of his fellow teammates.
I gotta warm him up to that idea.
So, what's his real name?
Miles.
Oh.
Yeah, I'd stick with "Tank" too.
- (Laughs)
- I don't know.
Miles is (Frustrated sigh)
I'm so sorry.
I don't know how you do this
one-handed signing thing.
I feel like I'm in a horror movie
where the hand comes to life.
(Laughs) It's fine.
I can read your lips.
- Thank you.
- So I guess you're not ripping
- the band-aid off with Tank.
- (Inhales deeply)
I don't know.
(Sighs)
He's so different from
any guy I've ever dated.
(Sighs) Maybe that's
what makes him perfect.
Tank's a really good
guy and let's face it
the last few guys I've fallen for
have thrown my heart underneath a bus,
dragged it for a few blocks
and then backed over it.
Yeah, you deserve better.
Yeah.
All I want right now
is a sweet, uncomplicated guy.
Me too.
Here's to sweet, uncomplicated guys.
(Laughs) There is a club for everything.
Anime club, robotics club,
wine and cheese club.
(Laughs) Ukulele club.
- You play the ukulele?
- No, but that's what I love about this place.
I get to try a little bit of everything.
Maybe I am a great ukulele player
- and I never knew it.
- That could be true.
I mean, I never thought
I'd be dating a frat guy,
but who knows? Maybe I'm
queen of the keg stand.
(Laughs) What fraternity is Tank in again?
- Omega Psi!
- Oh, I really like them.
They're sweet.
One of them invited me to
that luau they're having.
Oh no, don't worry.
Travis
is totally cool with it.
Me and the guy are just going as friends,
and now you and I can hang
out together.
It's a bonus.
- What?
- Tank hasn't invited me.
Oh, I'm sure he will.
He probably
just hasn't gotten around to it.
He's had plenty of
opportunities to bring it up.
Probably didn't want to ask you
when blood was shooting out of your hand.
Or he didn't want to ask the girl
who had just given him the "I
see you as a friend" speech.
(Phone ringing)
So there's this restaurant,
and they have this thing it's
called a twice-friend onion ring tower.
Wanna check it out?
I have to tell you something.
- Umm
- Hey, man.
So, I got tickets for
the theater on Lancaster.
That's the one with the
closed-caption glasses, right?
Yup!
Cool.
Oh, and there's a bunch
of restaurants around there
so we can probably get dinner after.
Sounds good.
- Oh.
- Dr.
J.
's still waiting on those x-rays.
Yeah, they got misfiled by radiology.
I've been looking all over for them.
Well, you're not gonna find
them in the movie listings.
What crawled up his butt?
Sorry, didn't get that one.
Is it me or does he seem really pissed off?
Maybe it's 'cause he
broke up with Gretchen.
Oh.
That sucks.
- Yeah.
- Especially with his 21st birthday coming up.
- Oh no.
- Yeah, I saw it on the office calendar.
Poor guy.
I hope he doesn't spend it alone.
Adrianna: Oh! I can't decide
what to wear to Kathryn's party tomorrow.
What are you wearing?
Whatever makes me invisible.
(Liquid sloshing)
(Sighs) When Kathryn was away
I saw John kissing Jennice.
(Gasps) Toby's mother-in-law?
I don't wanna get in the middle of it.
- Good idea.
- But if I don't tell Kathryn,
I feel like I'm being disloyal to her.
Trust me.
Pretend you never saw anything.
It isn't any of our business,
and you don't know what you saw.
Yeah, actually, I do.
And now I have to go to this party,
and see her so happy and act
like I don't know anything?
(Sighs) I really don't wanna
go.
Maybe I can get out of it.
Maybe maybe I can tell
her I don't feel well.
That's gonna look bad, plus, the
party might be more fun than you think.
(Sighs )
- (Phone ringing)
- (People chattering)
(Drawer opens)
Hey, so I think we should do
something for Campbell's birthday.
Snow Creek's not that far
away and they have snow tubing.
What? Is that super lame?
No.
It's just probably not
a good idea with his injury.
Oh, no standing required.
You just sit down in the inner tube
and slide down the Mountain.
Campbell didn't just hurt his spinal cord.
He had a severe T.
B.
I.
Tibia?
Traumatic brain injury.
The impact really did some damage.
His brain is still healing.
Another crash can make it 10 times worse.
Oh, that's awful.
Yeah, so we should find a less
dangerous way to celebrate.
How about cupcakes in the break room?
It's his 21st birthday.
We gotta come up
with something better than that.
(Laughs) Like what?
A surprise party?
Yeah, Campbell hasn't really made a
lot of friends since moving back here,
- so I feel like it's sort of up to me
- Uh-huh.
- to throw him a party.
- Oh, I love surprise parties.
- I know, me too.
- (Both laugh)
I even tracked down a bunch
of his snowboarding buddies
on Facebook and got them
all to road trip out here.
Oh, that's so sweet of you.
Campbell's gonna love that.
But it's the same night as your book party.
Oh.
Well, maybe you
can bring him by after.
It's his 21st birthday.
Oh, I get it.
All right.
Well, have fun at your party,
but just remember: you're
not the one turning 21.
No.
- (Laughs) Understood.
- (Laughs) Wait.
At some point, we're gonna want to meet
this guy that you are seeing.
Oh.
I'm dating Jorge, not Campbell.
Jorge? Who's Jorge?
- (Scoffs)
- (Door closes)
- Hey.
- Hi.
Do you have any advice on
how to accessorize this thing?
Like, do I try to cover it
or just embrace the whole
robo-crustacean of it all?
My advice: Put on it
that says what happened
that way you don't have to answer
the same question over and over again.
(Humphs) If that's the worst I
have to deal with, I'll be happy.
Give it time.
Your hand'll get better.
- Yours didn't.
- Well, that's different.
That's after 20 years of repetitive motion.
It will heal and you'll go
back to making art in no time.
Hello.
These are for your mom.
Oh great.
This is my other mom, Regina.
- Regina, this is Tank.
- Hi.
- Uh, right, the switched thing.
- Yeah.
I should've brought
another bouquet of flowers.
Oh, don't be silly.
No.
Do you have a vase?
I can split these up.
Regina: Really, it's fine,
but thank you.
This is Kathryn's night.
Come on, you can go give these to her.
- It was nice meeting you.
- (Regina laughs)
- (Whispers) He's so sweet.
- (Mouths)
So I have the most fabulous idea
for the key art of your book jacket.
It's a baseball with the
stitches pulling apart,
opening like a zipper
with just a hint of man underneath.
- You hate it.
- No, it's not that.
It's just I talked to Lydia today
(Whispers) and she wants me to
use my real name on the book.
(Gasps) Now you really
have to tell John the truth.
- I'm going to.
- You'd better hurry.
Lydia says they're so excited
that they want to fast track this.
- You talked to her?
- I was nosy.
Get to it.
You don't want John to
find out about this in a press release.
- (Door opens)
- Toby: Yo, mom!
(Chuckles)
Hey, mom, we're here!
Oh, hi, honey.
Whoa! Someone's been shopping
in a whole different part of town.
- You like?
- You look great, mom.
Hey! Oh, hi.
Hey.
Wow.
Last time I saw you,
we were battling a
particle-board bookshelf.
(Laughs) Just hope it's still standing.
(Laughs) Yeah.
- Congratulations.
- Oh.
Thank you so much.
You remember Regina, right?
- Nice to see you again.
- Yeah, you too.
Jennice, drink?
- I'd love one, yeah.
- Great, be right back.
- Kathryn: Thanks, honey.
- John: Yeah.
Toby insisted that I come,
and I thought it would be
more suspicious if I didn't.
(Whispering) You couldn't
think of some excuse?
John, we're gonna be
seeing each other at things.
I just want it to be normal.
And I wanted to say how sorry I am
about what happened the other night.
It was a mistake and it was all my fault.
You know what? It's fine.
It was nothing.
Let's just pretend
like it never happened, okay?
This is just another normal evening.
(Adrianna screams)
(Pants)
(Wheezing breath)
Mom? What's wrong?
(Dramatically) Oh, I've been poisoned! Oh!
- (Clicks)
- (Thunder crashes)
Welcome to the *** mystery party.
Welcome to Coddington manor.
The year is 1922,
and on this dark and stormy night,
you are all guests of
the late Lady Coddington.
You are all suspects
in her untimely demise.
Now if you'll refer to your dossiers,
you'll find details
about your new identities.
- Did you know about this?
- No.
Otherwise I wouldn't have cast myself
- as *** the French maid.
- Mmm!
(Femme fatale voice) I'm
Mabel Flitwit, ditzy heiress.
(Gangster accent) Well,
pleased to meet you, sweetheart.
- Lefty Diamond, import-export.
- (Clicks)
Throughout the evening you will
look for clues around the house
and probe each other with questions.
Now you can be evasive or misdirect,
but you cannot lie as
you attempt to conceal
the scandalous secrets you are all hiding.
Do I look like a silent movie star?
Uh, more than I look like a constable.
(Posh voice) Tennis anyone?
(Laughter)
Look around.
One of you is a cold-blooded murderer.
And it's your job to unmask this killer
before you become the next victim!
- Ooh.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, do you feel like getting some food
that wasn't nuked in the microwave?
Nah, I'm okay.
Come on, ever since you mentioned
that place with the onion ring tower,
I've been jonesing for some fried food.
I feel like we have an
obligation to check it out.
- Aren't you dating Jorge?
- Yes.
Well, then why are you asking me out?
(Stammers) I just meant as friends.
(Sighs) You asked me to
dinner on my birthday.
It sounds like a date to me.
- No no, it's not like that.
- What is it?
(Sighs)
I'm taking you to your surprise party.
What surprise party?
The one I'm throwing for you.
You weren't doing anything
for your 21st birthday
and I wasn't about to
let you spend it alone.
Who's gonna be there?
(Sighs) Well, it was
supposed to be a surprise,
a bunch of your
buddies from Colorado
Chris, Geezer and some
dude named Crowbar.
(Laughs)
(Stammers)
They're coming here?
- That's right.
- (Laughs)
I haven't seen those
guys since the hospital.
And you put this together?
- Yeah.
- (Both laugh)
Come on.
(Femme fatale voice) So, Lefty,
the poisoned wine that
Lady Coddington drank,
it was a gift from you.
I'm thinking you made her
an offer and she refused.
(Gangster accent) What
are you getting at, doll?
Well, I drank from the same wine bottle
as Lady Coddington before
(normal voice) which is insane by the way,
because in round two we're gonna
find out I'm secretly pregnant.
I read ahead.
(Femme fatale voice) So
why am I not dead too?
How about we ask ***
the maid, sweetheart?
(Normal voice) Whoa, are you
accusing my mom of being the killer?
How do I know you're not the killer?
(Normal voice) Oh, 'cause I'd
tell you if I was, so we could do
an awesome Bonnie and Clyde kind of thing.
Oh.
How sweet
- And not at all disturbing.
- (Both laugh)
This is awesome.
I'm having a total blast.
Yeah.
We should do
something just as awesome.
- On Saturday night.
- Yeah, Saturday is bad for me.
- Oh? What you doing?
- Stupid pledge thing.
(Laughs) But we should do
something Friday or Sunday or both.
- Sure.
- (Both chuckle)
(Sighs)
All: Surprise!
- (Mouths)
- He's legal.
Crowbar, man.
And Chris.
- What's up?
- Now I know this is
your first ever drink of alcohol,
but I'm still gonna have to see some I.
D.
- (Rock music playing)
- (Campbell and Daphne laugh)
My wallet's in my back pocket,
and while you're back
there, you can kiss my ***.
- (Laughs)
- All right, tell the truth, man.
Were you really surprised?
Totally.
Dude, I can't
believe you guys are here.
Really appreciate you
tracking us down for this.
Oh, I'm just glad you could all make it.
(Chuckling)
(Door opens, closes)
- (Campbell mutters)
- (Chuckles)
Gretchen, hey.
Happy Birthday.
(Both laugh softly)
Dash Gundson, what are you looking for?
(Posh voice) At today's tennis lesson,
I overheard Lady Coddington say
say she was changing her will.
Maybe there's someone she
wanted to cut out of it.
Yes, someone who wasn't
too happy about that.
I figured this is where she would keep it.
Outstanding notion.
You check the drawers,
I'll check the bookcase.
Aha!
What have we here?
Is that the will?
No.
No, it's not.
Your death scene was
spectacular, but
You should've seen my Lady MacBeth.
They still talk about it in San Juan.
(Chuckles) I'm sure.
Here's the thing:
You walking around like this
kind of kills the illusion.
Well, I had an idea.
What if we found out that I didn't die?
That I faked my own death
to unmask the murderer?
But if you faked your death,
there would be no ***.
Oh, you're right.
(Gasps) Well, what if
it was a voodoo powder
that gave the appearance of death?
Okay, let's talk about that.
Why don't you just be
You were the one who served
Lady Coddington the wine.
(French accent) No, I did not.
The only wine I served was to that siren
of the silver screen, Ms.
Bellini.
Maybe she served Ms.
Coddington.
Now if you excuse me, I
have to go polish the silver.
Not so fast, ***.
What motive would Lulu Bellini
have to poison Lady Coddington?
Let's just say that that
silent movie star was
not so silent when I found her
in bed with Lord Coddington.
- (Normal voice) Oh mom!
- (Normal voice) It's on the card, honey.
- (All laugh)
- Come on, Lefty.
(French accent) Bonjour, Admiral.
- Are enjoying the party?
- Actually, no.
I was looking for Lady Coddington's will,
- and I found your book proposal instead.
- (Door closes)
(Normal voice) I was gonna
talk to you about that.
Kathryn, are you out of your mind?
We are talking about intimate
details of our friends' lives.
I'm not using real names.
You're using our name!
The rest people can figure out!
It's a work of fiction.
Really? 'Cause a lot of what I was reading
sounded very familiar.
(Scoffs) So they speculate.
As long as they buy the book.
(Laughs)
Is that all you care
about? Haven't we suffered
enough public embarrassment
with the whole Daphne thing?
And now we're gonna throw this
gasoline on the fire as well?
And by the way, wouldn't it have been nice
if you had asked me if
I was okay with this?
So now I need your permission?
Our kids are gonna read this Kathryn.
What the hell are they gonna think?
Hopefully they'll be happy
that their mother is making
a successful career for herself.
Is this honestly the only
thing you can write about?
I tried.
I pitched parenting memoirs,
cookbooks, "40 in your 40s"
they were all rejected.
Do you have any idea
how depressing that is?
And now some people are very excited
about an idea of mine.
(Softly) Great.
I hope it's worth it.
(Door closes)
(Door opens)
- Ah.
Constable, I've been looking for you.
- (Door closes)
- Actually
- You have racked up
an awful lot of gambling debts,
debts Lady Coddington agreed to pay.
Actually, I wanted to talk to you
(Sighs) About your relationship
with the Admiral.
- (Door opens, closes)
- I think you mean Lord Coddington.
No, I mean the Admiral.
God! Am I banging him too?
I must've missed it.
(Laughs) I really get around, don't I?
I'm talking about John.
I saw you two in the living room
when Kathryn was in New York.
Regina, I don't know what
you think you saw, but
I don't know who started it,
but as the single person in the equation,
you need to be the one to back off.
(Door opens, closes)
(Sighs)
- (Rock music playing)
- (Chattering, laughing)
Oh hey, Gretchen.
I hope you don't mind
me crashing your party.
Chris said that I should come along,
and we all go way back, so
- Oh, not not at all.
It's fine.
- (Laughs softly)
Besides, it's not my party, anyway.
- It's Campbell's.
- Well, it's nice of you to put this together,
getting all of our friends here,
especially since you've only
known Campbell a little while.
Well, it's a big birthday,
so I'm just glad everyone could be here.
No, you're you're sweet.
(Laughs)
I can see what he sees in you.
(Humphs, normal voice) No clues in here.
(Door closes)
I wonder what we're gonna do.
(Humphs) I know.
(Nervous laugh)
What's wrong?
Nothing.
(Laughs)
I mean, this you know, you and me
- is awesome.
It just
- I know.
I I told you I wasn't interested
and now I'm attacking you.
No.
No no, I love the attacking thing.
Good, because I'm interested.
(Soft chuckle) That works for me.
- Wanna go back to kissing?
- Yeah.
Wow.
We get better with practice.
Yeah.
I've kinda been waiting
to do this for a long time.
Then why haven't you invited
me to the fraternity party?
The wha what?
The luau.
I mean, were you
planning on inviting me?
(Sighs) It's gonna be lame.
- You really wouldn't enjoy it.
- You wanna take somebody else.
No.
No no no, it's nothing like that.
Then what is it?
(Stammers, nervous laugh)
How do you even know
about that stupid luau?
My friend Mary Beth got asked
by somebody in your frat.
I thought it'd be fun
if we all went together.
No no, you two should do
something else that night.
- Why?
- (Sighs)
Umm
Okay, you are acting really weird.
Why don't you want us to go to that party?
(Nervous chuckle) I can't say, okay?
Tank.
(Sighs)
- It's a dogfight.
- A what?
It's a contest between
a bunch of the brothers
to see who can bring the
the ugliest date.
Crowbar: Make a wish.
- Man: Yeah!
- (Cheering)
- Let's dissect this bad boy.
- (Laughs)
(Rock music playing)
Hey, you made it!
Wow, this is really something.
- Who are those people?
- Oh, they're his buddies from Colorado.
They drove 10 hours to be here.
Wow.
You really went all out.
Ah, this is nothing.
Wait till you see what
I do for your birthday.
(Chuckles)
I'm guessing you did a search
on how to impress deaf chicks.
No.
I started taking a
few lessons last week.
I'm pretty sure that
means a yes on the drink.
- Yes.
- I'll be back.
- Happy Birthday, buddy!
- We got something for ya.
- Thanks.
What the hell is it?
- All: Happy Birthday!
- Man: Check it out!
- It's an adaptive snowboard.
We all chipped in, had
this bad boy made for you.
Gotta get you back on
the slopes carving again.
- How the hell do you ride it?
- Well, the wheels are for stability,
- keeps you from tipping over.
- Shouldn't take you too long to get used to it.
Just lean to the turns,
ice and gravity do the rest.
Guys, this is awesome.
I can't wait to try it.
Crowbar: You don't have to wait too long
we got a van that's gassed up
and pointed toward the rockies.
Leave tonight and we can be there by dawn.
Oh, we're so going.
Man: That's right, we are.
Man 2: Oh yeah.
We can't let him get on that thing.
(Laughs) I don't think you can stop him.
This is the happiest I've
seen him since his accident.
No, I don't think you understand.
If he has another impact,
- his brain could
- Oh no, I understand everything.
I was there for the crash.
I was with
him for every step of his recovery.
The one thing that's gotten
him through all of this
is the hope that he'll get back out there.
Now you wanna take that away from him?
- It's just too big of a risk.
- (Chuckles)
Clearly, you don't know him very well.
(Sighs)
(Whispering) John knows
about my book proposal.
- (Whispering) Did you tell him?
- No, he found it.
- Oh.
- He thinks I'm humiliating myself and my family.
Honey, you're not humiliating anybody.
I gave up so much for his career.
I'm not gonna give this up.
He'll come around, and if he doesn't
you could always *** him.
(French accent) If you pardon
me, I have to go hide this
- (Normal voice) The bar.
- Mmm.
That's my little cold-blooded killer.
- (Both laugh)
- Ooh la la!
- (Vehemently) That's disgusting
- I agree with you,
and I would never be a part of it.
But you're gonna stand by
and let your brothers
humiliate my friend Mary Beth
who, for the record, is very pretty
just because she's not a size zero.
The girls aren't supposed to find out.
Oh.
That makes it okay?
No.
Of course not.
Look, believe me, I think it's sick.
You'd better pray that
Mary Beth doesn't let
her brother's army buddies
find out about this,
because they will order an
air strike on your frat house.
Hey, you can't tell her.
Tell her not to go, but make up a reason.
Oh, I'm telling her the truth.
- You can't.
- Why not?
'Cause I'm not supposed to say anything.
If the brothers find out I told you,
- I'm gonna be blackballed.
- Well, not if you quit first.
I can't do that!
Look, my dad was an Omega Psi
and most of the football
team, and most of my friends
Look, it's not all the brothers, okay?
There are good guys there too.
Just the ones who are too
afraid to take a stand.
- No, it's not that simple.
- It is for me,
because I'm not gonna be with
someone who's in that fraternity.
- (Sighs)
- (Door opens)
Aren't you supposed to be dead,
Lady Coddington?
I am Ezmerelda, her twin sister.
O oh.
- (Whispering) Regina knows.
- (Whispering) What?!
Apparently she saw us the other night.
- You mean the
- Yes.
Did you tell her it was a mistake?
She didn't really give me a chance.
I this is unbelievable!
- Do you think she'll tell Kathryn?
- I don't know!
- (Both sigh)
- What if Toby and Nikki find out?
I don't ugh.
Look,
go back to the party, I'll find Regina,
and I will convince
her not to tell Kathryn.
Okay? Just go.
(Sighs)
You can't go with those guys.
Yeah.
I can.
Your brain is still vulnerable.
Dr.
J.
would never sign off on this.
Good thing I'm not
asking for his permission.
Come one, man.
I know doc told
you about second-impact syndrome.
Even a slight hit, your brain
could swell up and that could be it.
(Stammers) I'm not going on a half-pipe.
Look at this thing.
It's a glorified sled.
You could end up a vegetable, okay?
Is that what you want?
One fall and your whole
I could fall getting into my car.
I could fall in the shower.
Should I just not do any of those things?
That is not the same thing and you know it.
If I can't do what I love
(Stammers) I might as well be a vegetable.
Why is it all or nothing with you?
It's my decision and it doesn't affect you.
It does affect me! I care about you!
(Sighs) Look, I just don't
want to see you get hurt, okay?
I appreciate what you're trying to do
but
I'm going.
- (Grunts)
- Campbell! Come on!
(Mary Beth sighs)
I'm sorry.
(Scoffs) What a bunch of d-bags.
Should I not have told you? I thought
that it'd be better to know and
I'm glad you did.
Are all guys like this?
So obsessed with looks and
(Sighs) secretly cruel?
Of course not.
I don't think so.
(Laughs)
Certainly not your smoking hot boyfriend.
(Laughs) You're right.
My smoking hot boyfriend is not like that.
We just need to find
a guy like him for you.
Yeah.
(Laughs) You know what?
You should've seen the guy
who asked me to that thing.
He was totally hot
if you're into beer guts and unibrows.
(Laughs)
If he really wanted to win that contest,
he should bring himself as his date.
- Oh.
- (Laughing)
- (Chattering)
- Regina: I know all about your tennis lessons
with Mabel Flitwit.
(Posh voice) Yes, Mabel is
making quite a bit of progress.
I hear we'll see the
results in nine months.
You are the father of
her child, are you not?
Are we seriously playing
the *** card here?
(Whispers) Renzo, I'm sorry.
I have to cut the evening short, okay?
(Loudly) Uh, everybody!
Everybody come in here now!
(Door closes)
Kathryn: Uh
I poisoned Lady Coddington.
- But we've just started.
- So that's it?
Aren't we supposed to guess that?
Sweetie, we've got some
more clues to do here.
Well, the mystery's solved,
so we can all go home
(Emotionally) Or we we're
home, so let's just go to bed.
'Cause I'm really tired and
Thank you for having me, Kathryn, and
(angrily) Just go, Jennice.
Get out!
Mom, what are you doing?
Does someone wanna tell
me what's going on here?
I kissed your father.
(Sighs)
(Sniffles) We're not connecting, John.
We haven't been in a long
time, and please don't tell me
- I'm the only one seeing that.
- Fine, okay, we've been through
a lot lately, okay? All
couples go through this.
No, I'm not gonna let
you chalk this up to that!
Kathryn, the kiss didn't mean anything.
Well, that makes it all better!
Oh, come on.
It was a mistake, all right?
We were drinking, you were out of town.
Oh, so now it's all my fault?!
No! I am just trying to explain.
- Are you attracted to her?
- No, I'm not attracted to her.
- I'm attracted to you.
Let me ask you something.
- (Crying)
All the years that we've been together,
you've never thought about another man?
Of course I have, but I never acted on it.
And if I did, it wouldn't be
with someone in our family!
Okay, it was a stupid, drunken kiss.
It's not just about the
kiss! I want you out of here!
Would you calm down please?
(Angrily) Do not tell me to calm down.
I don't even want to look at you right now.
Fine.
What, you you're kicking me out?
You're damn right I am.
(Sighs)
You know, there's a reason that
I'm not returning any of your texts.
Just give me a minute.
- Fine.
- I made an anonymous call
to the I.
F.
C.
about the party.
- The what?
- The inter-fraternity council.
The brothers denied it, but bottom
line is they cancelled the party.
It's not happening.
Over.
"Anonymous"?
Meaning you're still in the fraternity.
- (Sighs) Bay, come on.
- Come on what?
I'm not gonna de-pledge.
I'm not gonna give up on the
fraternity because of one bad thing
And I'm kinda hoping you'll
feel the same way about me.
I'm not perfect, okay?
I probably drink too much,
I can't remember the last book I read
and I suck at apologies.
But I'm loyal.
And if you'll let me,
I'll be the best boyfriend in the world.
And I know what you went through
with your last two boyfriends,
and I would never cheat on you
or hurt you like they did.
(Sighs)
(Mutters)
Tank, wait.
Don't you wanna know how the
*** mystery turned out?
My mom was the killer.
I read her card.
(Laughs)
(Chuckles) You cheater.
Told you she did it.
Yeah, you did.
(Chuckles)
Hmm.
- Man: Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- Man 2: Yeah, baby!
(Chattering)
(Gasps)
You decided not to go.
(Chuckles) Have you ever been stuck
in a van with snowboarders for eight hours?
- Not pretty.
- (Both laugh)
I I'm gonna go say goodbye to everyone.
Okay.
I'll see you, all right?
Hey, is everything okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's fine.
You don't seem fine.
(Scoffs) I don't know.
It's not much fun
watching you pay attention
to some other guy all night.
I mean, what's your deal?
Are you into him?
(Chatting, laughing)
(Sighs) I do have feelings for Campbell,
but I have them for you too.
What am I supposed to do with that?
I don't know.
Well, let me know when you do.
(Folk music playing)
I'm trying not to hurt you
though I know that I deserve to
and I've tried to erase it
forget it or fake it
(Sighs) You gotta be kidding me.
State Senator John Kennish
checks into a hotel? Alone?
People start to talk.
Somehow they always heal
and the pain, it
turns to triumph
- (Sighs)
- To triumphs over air
- (Door closes)
- Then I let myself open up
till I have her again
and I have these
scars
that's all they are
scars
we all have ours
scars.