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Welcome to movie monster match ups.
In this week's episode we have a creature from the trecherous hills of Translyvania,
who was portrayed in this 1922 German Expressionist film Nosferatu.
I always found it funny in this movie how painfully obvious it is in this movie that
terrible things are about to happen to the main character and he just stays at the castle
anyway.
I mean you can always assume if you go over to someone's house and it looks like this
outside, you should go home.
Especially if the guy's frikkin staring at you like that.
Allow me to introduce this week's first contender The Count!
Deep in the cellars of the Paris Opera House lurks our next monstrous contender.
Born during the Boulevard massacre he was a self educated master of the black arts and
at one time was exiled to Devil's Island for the criminally insane but of course he escaped.
Allow me to introduce perhaps the ugliest man in film history. The Phantom of the Opera.
Monsters take your sides... and fight!
To decide on a winner to this explosive brawl I have rated both monsters in their brains,
toughness, and *** abilities. They also will receive up to a five point penalty for
any fatal flaws that they possess.
Intelligence doesn't really seem to be a factor when it comes to Nosferatu. He has very simple
needs. Blood. That's it, that's all he thinks about.
And he doesn't usually use much brain power to get it. He uses magic, or his incredible
amount of money that he somehow has.
Which reminds me? How the Hell is Count Dracula so rich? Like is he making investments or
something or maybe he owns a big *** blood bank. Cause he definitely doesn't seem very
good with people.
The Phantom on the other hand doesn't seem to have anything but brains.
He's always watching, always calculating his next move. Ready to engulf his enemies in
flames or hang em with a noose whenever the time is right. And the really cool thing is
he's got all of his traps wired in through his piano. Yeah... I mean that's *** bad
***.
For brains Nosferatu scores six out of ten and the Phantom scores nine out of ten.
Although Nosferatu does appear sickly, as you can see from these shots, he's got some
strength to him. This is just dumb. Who stands on a canoe? especially holding a coffin. I
should have talked about this in the brains section.
So the phantom's not really a tough guy. He doesn't hit anyone except women. Them and
this one really annoying jester guy who pissed him off for some reason. I guess what I'm
saying is he's basically a regular guy, well aside from the women beating. Nosferatu scores
seven out of ten giving him a total of thirteen phantom scores five out of ten, giving him
a total of fourteen.
Nosferatu's got some abilities that will make your head spin, literally. He can move stuff
with his mind, grab people with his shadow, and even go invisible even though he never
uses that for anything. He can also drive people completely freaking insane. They'll
be eating flies, spiders, you name it.
The phantom's abilities are provided through his traps. One is that he can basically noose
you from anywhere in the opera. Then he's got exploding barrels, trap doors, drowning
chambers and um burning rooms of some kind. His only disadvantage is he has to fight on
his own turf. *** abilities Nosferatu scores eight out of ten, and the phantom scores
seven out of ten.
So thus far, it seems that both monsters have twenty one giving us a tie, but wait
Nosferatu fatal flaw... Too distractible, thats right all it takes is him seeing one
hot chick and this guy forgets he can't be out in the sun. That's sort of like you forgetting
you have to breath. Phantom of the Opera wins!
Got any ideas for another monster matchup? Leave it in the comments and i'll see what
I can do and please remember to subscribe.