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- Previously on The O.
C.
:
- What about that date?
- You're breaking up with me?
- It never could work.
- Cal, when you wanna date, let me know.
- It was an accident.
You accidentally slept with Marissa's mom
or accidentally told Marissa?
- I just
- Get out of here, Luke.
- I don't wanna see him again.
- What about your dad? Kaitlin?
What am I supposed to do without you?
You are not leaving this house.
Or what? You're gonna call the police or
Dr.
Milano? You know what? Go ahead.
In fact, why don't you call up
Dad and Caleb?
I'd really love to tell them
why I ran away.
You okay?
Yeah, it's just really sad.
It's just the movie, right?
That's the reason for the tears?
Yes.
I'm emotionally stable.
Besides, I'm not the only one crying.
I'm sorry, what? I'm allergic, okay?
And there's so much pollen
in here right now.
It's ridiculous.
- Tomorrow we're watching football, okay?
- Football season is five months away.
ESPN Classics, okay?
We'll watch old games.
Maybe next time
we should see a comedy.
What? No, no.
I can see sad movies.
Yeah.
No, I know you can.
I can't, Ryan, I'm sensitive.
- Okay, so, what now?
- Whatever Coop wants to do.
- Yeah, what do you wanna to do?
- I don't know.
It's getting late.
- So you wanna go back?
- Why don't we have a slumber party.
- I'll stay over.
- We all will.
We'll sleep in shifts.
- That way, one of us'll be up at all times.
- Doing what?
Hey, whatever you need us to do.
- Look, okay? Guys, I'm fine.
- Yeah, yeah.
We know.
Why wouldn't you be?
I don't know, because the guy I lost
my virginity to had sex with my mom.
- Oh, yeah, I remember that.
- Look, guys, it's really not that big a deal.
- Why don't we go to Jamba Juice?
- That's a great idea.
I love juice.
- Remember that thing with vitamin C?
- The boosts.
Free boosts.
Sit down.
- Thanks for meeting me.
- Well, it's not like I had any choice.
All your phone calls and e-mails.
I had to block you from my Buddy List
you were so incessant.
- Blocked me?
I thought you were off-line.
You want something?
- The Razzmatazz is
- Luke
I told you, I'm not staying.
So tell me, what is it that's so important?
If you drink it too fast,
you can get a brain freeze.
- So sip it slowly.
- That's good advice.
Okay, guys, I can drink a cold beverage.
I'm telling you, I'm really
so not okay.
I guess we'll skip the Razzmatazz.
Hey.
Sorry.
I'm surprised that hasn't
happened before.
I'm not saying I'm disappointed
it hasn't happened before.
- I'm saying the mathematical probability
- Crying during chick flicks.
- Walking in on me getting dressed.
- What's your point?
I'm not seeing what you're getting at.
- Do you work out?
- Not really.
Me neither.
I'm gonna go watch some hockey.
- Hockey season's over.
- Damn it.
- Where you going?
- To find Luke.
Beat the crap out of him.
- Where'll the can of whup-*** be opened?
- I'll go to his house, check the pier.
Have you considered our back yard?
- What's up, guys?
- Why don't you tell me?
- Calm down.
I didn't come to fight.
- You told me it was over.
It is.
Believe me.
I just I had to talk to her.
Next time you wanna talk to somebody,
talk to Seth, me.
Anyone but her.
No one will talk to me.
Sleeping with your ex-girlfriend's mom
kind of yields that result.
- I thought you were my friends.
- You got no friends.
I know.
- But I need your help.
- I'm not gonna help you.
- I'm leaving.
- Thanks for stopping by.
No, I mean, I'm leaving town.
Now that the divorce is final,
my dad just wants to get out, so
- We got family in Portland.
- You're going with him?
Don't tell anybody.
But that's what I was trying to tell Julie.
And that's what I wanna tell Marissa.
But I wanna tell her myself.
- Look, I don't know, Luke.
- Come on.
Please, please.
Five minutes.
It's not that much to ask,
to say goodbye.
Then I'm gone.
Please.
- You okay?
- Yeah, just checking the paper
for any impending natural disasters
before tomorrow's grand opening.
- You're not nervous, are you?
- No, why be nervous?
If our pre-celebration tonight
goes badly
there'll be no time
to fix it before tomorrow night.
I like to anticipate the worst at all times.
It's a Cohen family trait.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Yes!
- What is that?
- We're business partners.
- We needed our own secret handshake.
- Secret handshake?
- It's a guy thing.
- You couldn't possibly understand.
- Is this okay?
Or is it putting the "ho" in hostess?
Hailey, it looks great.
But it's not my restaurant.
Jimmy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I mean
we should ask Sandy because
- I don't have shoes.
It'll serve to distract the customers, which
is good, since they won't be drinking.
The Liquor Board is reneging
on our liquor license.
- They can't.
They gave us a permit.
- Must be a mix-up.
I'll call the inspector.
See, that's why we Cohens
are always right.
Because the worst always happens.
Come on, Hail.
I'll go get your shoes.
So you like the dress?
It's definitely a keeper.
So you'd sit in my section?
How do you even make waitress-speak
sound so?
Dirty?
I was gonna say "untoward," but, yeah.
Hail, it's your feet, not mine.
Can you believe this?
Okay, Coop.
So
what's it gonna be, a little salt glow?
Little Tahitian body wrap?
Or maybe a lotion boot?
Okay, not really into exfoliating
right now.
Besides, I promised Ryan
I'd meet him for lunch at the pier.
Lunch at the pier.
Corn dogs and pizza.
You know, I read an article in Stuff.
It says carbs send endorphins
to your brain and that makes you happy.
Oh, that's probably Ryan.
I gotta go grab it.
Where'd you leave your phone?
Your dad's room?
No, my room.
You have a room?
Wait.
Hello?
Yeah, Coop.
Like what you've done with the place.
Yeah, I guess I didn't really get around
to unpacking.
How can you live like this?
Your T-shirts touch your sweaters.
I figured that if I didn't hang anything up
then it wouldn't be so permanent.
Anyway, I gotta go meet Ryan.
So do you wanna come or?
You know what? Do you mind
if I hang out here and watch TV?
The step-monster got her wisdom teeth
pulled.
She's whacked out on Percocet
leaving drool all over the house.
- Okay, sure.
Go ahead.
I'll see you later.
- I can't believe they're seeing each other.
- They're not.
- That's not what it looked like last night.
- Last night wasn't what it looked like.
I talked to Luke.
What? You guys are still hanging out?
No, he showed up.
He wants to talk to you.
Apologize.
No.
There's no way I could forgive him.
- Maybe for Holly.
But not for this.
- I know
but it would mean a lot to him.
What's important to him
is really not so important to me.
That's a whole part of my life
I'd just rather keep separate
from this part of my life.
You know what we haven't done
in a while?
Listen, I'm all for getting it on
in exotic locales.
But I think your best friend's
bedroom's just really disheveled.
Wow.
I like what she's done
with the place.
The cardboard boxes, it feels very
I'm getting like a garage-sale vibe.
Yes, I know.
See, they say your
external life influences your internal life.
- Who says that?
- I read it in ELLE Decor.
- Your favorite magazine.
- You read?
No wonder she's so depressed.
We need to surprise her and fix it up.
Do you think giving her a little
feng shui will help her forget
her mom slept with her ex-boyfriend?
- It can't hurt.
Right.
Well, that's very sweet.
But if you put a mirror on that wall,
it'd open up the energy flow in this room.
- I know where you're going with this.
- The hardware store.
The hardware store? With, like, the bolts
and the grouting and the Skil saws?
You don't like hardware stores
and you cry during chick flicks.
Next thing you're gonna tell me,
you walk in on Ryan changing.
Come on.
That's crazy.
Hey, let's go to the hardware store.
Peter Johnson, from the Liquor Board.
Am I right?
You came here about a month ago
and granted us a liquor license.
Craziest thing.
I open my mail, and I read
that our liquor license had been reneged.
Yes.
- Yeah, crazy?
- Yes, your license has been reneged.
Without a liquor license,
this place can't turn a profit.
This is Newport Beach.
Everyone's a borderline alcoholic.
I'm sorry, but your temporary license
was issued
before your file landed in front of
the newly appointed commissioner.
- So?
- The name Steve Peiser mean anything?
No.
Well, it might to Jimmy Cooper.
Turns out Mr.
Cooper was
Commissioner Peiser's financial advisor
before he stole a quarter
of a million dollars from him.
You're kidding me.
It was that financial loss that forced my
boss out of retirement and back to work.
He saw Cooper's name on the file
and said "no way.
"
Want my advice?
Have Mr.
Cooper step down.
So, what do you wanna do for lunch?
I can do mac and cheese
or mac and cheese.
Tough choice.
- I forgot how fun this was.
- Pretty fun.
You know, lunch could wait.
We are having a pretty big dinner.
- Not your dad, is it?
- No, he has a key.
- Mr.
Nichol.
- Call me Caleb.
I'm not disturbing you, am I?
No.
Yeah, come in.
- Ryan.
- Mr.
Nichol.
Would you mind if Marissa
and I had a word, privately?
- Sure.
- Actually, Ryan and I don't have secrets.
It's important.
Well, then I definitely want him here.
What follows doesn't leave
this room then, okay?
Sit down.
Marissa, your mother's
a wonderful woman.
She is?
You're important to her.
You and I
haven't spent a lot of time together
but it was important to me
to come and get your blessing.
I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
- You wanna marry my mom?
- I love her very much.
- You don't know her.
- You should give Marissa some time.
- This is kind of a big deal.
- Impossible.
I intend to propose to her
tonight at the restaurant
with our friends and family
in attendance.
Well, then I guess I can't stop you.
I'll see you both tonight.
Thanks for your time, dear.
And again, this is just between us.
I want it to be a surprise.
If my mom marries him, she's gonna be
the most powerful woman in Newport.
Not if you tell Caleb the truth.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Did you talk to her?
- I tried.
- And?
- I don't think it's gonna happen, man.
- What do you mean?
- She's dealing with a lot of stuff now.
- Family stuff.
- She won't even see me for 30 seconds?
Her dad's restaurant's having its
private opening tonight.
She's busy.
- I'm leaving town.
- She doesn't know.
- That's because she won't talk to me.
- Why don't you just write her a letter?
Write her a letter?
- I had your back with Oliver.
- You had sex with her mom.
I didn't just have sex with her, okay?!
I'm in love with her!
- I was I am in love!
- Don't need to hear it.
But Marissa does.
I have to talk to her.
I have to explain.
- Luke, I wouldn't.
- I can't go without making it right.
I won't.
Okay, the plan is, we go to dinner
for, like, 10 minutes, right?
Then we sneak out, come back here
and make magic happen.
Excellent.
I'm extremely stealth.
I do believe Joel Gordon
is still looking for me.
The fool.
Hey! Last year's yearbook.
- God, I love yearbooks.
- Listen, let's put it away
because we've got
a lot of work to do.
- Stop it!
- Let's just put it back.
Hey, it's you.
- We had a sailing team?
- Yeah.
It never got off the ground, but
- You were in the Comic Book Club?
- I was the president and only member.
Let's see.
- We had a Film Preservation Society?
- Yeah, but it was a long time ago.
So you know, we don't have to
It's not fun.
Was I really mean to you?
No.
That would have required you
to speak to me.
Or anyone to speak to me.
A lot's changed in a year, huh?
Hey.
"Marissa, you're the greatest.
This summer will rock.
- Love you forever, Luke.
"
- Yeah.
A lot's definitely changed.
Marissa's gonna need
a whole lot of feng shui.
Hey.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
You look sad.
I thought this would be
a moment to celebrate.
So did I.
You know that mix-up
with the liquor license?
- It's not such a mix-up.
- You're kidding.
It turns out the new commissioner
is a former client of Jimmy's
with a quarter-million dollar
score to settle.
Without that license,
there's no point opening.
I've been on the phone trying to call in
favors.
I got nothing.
The guy is serious.
The only way he'll reconsider is if
Jimmy steps down.
Leaves the business.
- You're not considering
- No, of course not.
Well, there is one last option.
You're not gonna like it.
My dad can be very
He can be very persuasive.
I may have to throw a few more of these
back before you start bringing up Caleb.
Desperate times.
This is that.
Hey, man.
What's going on?
- Where you been?
- What?
- What?
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
Not one thing, okay?
- All right.
I'm gonna go pee, okay? So if anyone
asks, that's where I am.
For a while.
Right.
- He's getting weirder.
- Didn't think that was possible.
Marissa.
Mom.
That's the warmest conversation
I've had with her in weeks.
I'll have a word, see if I can't help.
I have been known
to be quite persuasive.
So I've heard.
What's with Dad these days?
He's all warm and mushy.
Don't know.
Maybe it's the new
blood-thinning medication he's on.
What about you?
How's your romantic life?
Oh, you know me.
Not much.
Vince, thank you so much.
How excited is Jimmy?
He's like a totally different person.
It's so great.
Let's hope tomorrow night
goes as well as tonight.
- Pat.
Thanks for coming by.
- My pleasure.
Though I gotta say, Nana Cohen's
meat loaf, trouncing Grandma Cooper's.
- She would expect no less.
- How'd it go today with the Liquor Board?
- All sorted out?
- Working on it.
Working on it.
Enjoy it, Jimmy.
Moments like this
don't happen every day.
I know.
It's fantastic.
- Hey.
- How you doing?
I'm just happy you're here,
so I don't have to do this alone.
You know me.
Can't get enough of this stuff.
Excuse me, everyone.
I have something I'd like to say.
I hope you're all enjoying yourselves
tonight as much as I am.
Though my enjoyment of life over the last
few months goes beyond this restaurant
to a very special lady, Julie Cooper.
What's he doing here?
Julie did a fantastic job
on the d��cor, didn't she?
Hey, come on, let's go.
And
- It's here on this opening night
- Nobody'll talk to me or even look at me.
- Had a little bit to drink?
- I'd like to show her how special she is.
I gotta tell Marissa it wasn't just sex.
I love her mom.
Okay, I don't think that's a good idea.
Julie Cooper
will you marry me?
Oh, my God!
Yes, of course I will, Cal.
Kiki!
Luke.
Hey.
Luke.
Hey!
- Look, Luke
- Don't make me!
Just give me your keys.
Let me drive you home.
What home?
I can't believe he just showed up here.
- I need your car.
I need to go after him.
- No.
It's like you're saying
he did nothing wrong.
I'm not taking his side.
I'm not taking any side.
You know what? Maybe you should.
He should have time alone
to think about what he did.
- Feel bad about it.
- He does feel bad
- That's why he's leaving.
- What are you talking about?
His dad's moving to Portland.
He's moving
with him.
Because of what happened.
Can I have your keys?
He's had a lot to drink.
- That's cool.
I didn't want any, anyway.
- My dad is marrying Julie Cooper.
Julie Cooper is my stepmom.
- Maybe we'll get you another bottle.
- Drink up.
This is an unholy alliance, two storm
fronts colliding.
It's the apocalypse for us.
- Maybe you wanna lay off the sauce.
- Think of it.
All the time we were growing up
and you'd come over for dinner
you'd go sailing with my dad, did you
ever think he would marry your ex-wife?
- Yeah, give me a glass.
- Never.
Jimbo, the way I see it, this might be
the best thing that could happen to you.
There is nothing good about it.
This marriage is an asteroid
that hit the Earth.
Now we
have to see what species survives.
I did it.
Look.
Wow, you hit a nail!
Bob Vila's your ***, Cohen.
What?! Why?!
- This is not supposed to happen.
- You have to find the stud.
- You mean like you did, Summer?
- Just get me the stud finder.
Oh, Summer,
I think you are the stud finder.
- See this hammer in my hand?
- What does the stud finder look like?
- And the level.
- What is a level?
- Don't you know what a level is?
- What you advance to in a video game.
That's funny.
Yeah.
The tool doesn't know about tools.
My people, we don't really build.
We're not what you would call "handy.
"
We hire people to do it.
Why don't we just get a contractor?
Or I can paint.
And here I thought
you could only paint the ceiling.
Marissa, hey, listen, l
No, no.
It's me, man.
- I'm fine, man.
- You don't sound fine.
Well, you know, I'm just having
a few beers up at the park
rocking out to Seger.
You know the drill.
Not really.
Hey, do me a favor, Ryan.
Tell Marissa I get it.
Okay? I don 't deserve her forgiveness.
I'm
I'm ***.
I'm
All I ever did was let her down.
Tell her that.
No, just tell me where you are, all right?
You can't leave
without saying goodbye, right?
Right.
Goodbye.
Damn it!
I'm not here.
Leave a message.
Julie.
I'm
I'm leaving tomorrow.
I need to see you.
I'm coming I'm coming to see you.
You owe me a goodbye!
Without a liquor license,
we'll be belly-up in no time.
- Really? Cal, I had no idea.
- There's no point in opening the place.
That's why I was hoping
I could ask you to do me a favor.
- What?
- Wait, did you not hear me?
I just wanted to hear you say it again.
If it was up to me, I'd rather take the hit
than talk with you.
But it's Jimmy.
- The Lighthouse is all he's got.
- Lf you drop him, they'd issue the license.
But you're too much of a martyr.
Listen, Sanford
never mix business with friendship.
- You're right.
From now on,
I'm doing all my deals with you.
When you came to me about Uncle Shaun,
I said yes.
You owe me.
I don't wanna owe you.
I wanna hold it over your head.
Need water.
Tried to lie down,
got the spins.
Well, I better get back to my bride-to-be.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely might vomit.
Luke, call us when you get this.
Ryan.
When I saw him at the party last night
I wished for something like this
to happen.
It's not your fault.
- How is he?
- Well, he's out of surgery.
He's pretty much out of commission
right now, but the worst is behind him.
I should call my parents.
You guys
he's gonna be asleep for a while.
You should go home.
- Maybe we should, so we could finish.
- Or we could sleep.
You know, I'm really glad
that Luke's gonna be okay.
We'll come back.
Actually, I'm gonna stay.
You know, just in case.
Okay.
Then I'll stay too.
I heard he'd been drinking
which makes one less inspired
to go after our liquor license.
- Can I get you something to eat?
- No, no, I'm good.
Don't worry about going to city hall.
I'll
deal with them.
You hold down the fort.
That's not necessary.
You hang at the Lighthouse.
Man the ship.
Are we gonna refer to the restaurant
as a ship or a fort?
Well, right now it's a sinking ship.
Okay, not the most inspiring metaphor
on our opening night.
Why don't you sit down?
I can't.
I gotta go see what the holdup is
with the liquor license.
You're the holdup, Jimmy.
Does the name Steve Peiser
mean anything to you?
When he went back to work, after his
financial advisor lost his life savings
he got a job
as commissioner of the Liquor Board.
This restaurant was supposed to be
a chance for me
to escape from my past.
I guess there is no escaping, huh?
Well, we do have one possible
Houdini-esque escape left.
Caleb.
I asked him for help.
- You hate asking him for help.
- This was no exception.
I had no choice.
You did.
You could've told me
the truth and asked me to bow out.
Like I said, I had no choice.
Satellite Pharmacy to room 607.
Satellite Pharmacy, room 607.
Hey, guys.
He's up.
You should go home.
And thanks for waiting, all right?
Wait.
Will you tell him that I'm here
and I'd like to see him?
I'll start auditioning bands right away.
I need to start soliciting
recommendations for the videographer
and the photographer, the engravers.
You know, I should ask Diane Kahn.
She's been married, like,
at least a half a dozen times.
Why aren't you more excited?
Oh, Julie, it was a rough night.
Hey, where are you going?
Why aren't you asleep?
Because Summer's a slave driver.
Is Ryan back from the hospital yet?
- Hospital?
- Oh, didn't you hear?
Luke wrapped his truck
around a telephone pole last night.
- He did?
- Just a few blocks from here.
He was drinking.
So unlike him.
Well, I guess he just
never really recovered
from everything with his father.
You know, the humiliation,
his family being torn apart.
Yeah, that must be it.
Pour me a bloody mary, will you, James?
Since it'll be the last drink we serve.
- What? That's it?
- Hook, line and sinker.
No license.
No opening.
No restaurant.
- No comeback.
- That's the best you could do?
- As big a badass as you are?
- Didn't have an effect on this Peiser fella.
You know how to *** people off.
You could teach me a thing or two.
- You seem awfully glib.
- Everything happens for a reason.
Could you at least feign
a little sensitivity at our misfortune?
You know what they say: One man's
misfortune is another man's fortune.
- Who says that?
- I do.
- I've never seen him smile.
- I didn't know he had teeth.
Make yourselves a couple of drinks,
fellas.
We should talk.
Cheers.
Are you okay?
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean for this to happen.
Any of it.
I just
I didn't have anyone.
I had no one.
Not my family.
I don't know, you know?
But
I'm gonna go away.
Give things a chance
to go back to normal for you.
Because I know
as long as I'm here, they won't.
But I need to know one thing
before I go.
Can you forgive me?
Yeah.
Yes.
Luke
I'll miss you.
Who would've thought
when you moved to town
that I'd be the one who had to leave?
I thought I was gonna live in Newport
my whole life.
So you'll start a new life.
Yeah, maybe I'll show up in Portland
and fall for the chick dating
the captain of the football team.
And he can kick your ***.
Yeah.
Welcome to Portland, ***.
Well, I'll e-mail you.
Maybe I'll drop back in
say hey.
Good luck, man.
Want me to take you home?
I hate her so much.
I mean, she tried to drive you out.
She almost destroyed my dad.
She nearly killed Luke.
I have to do something.
Okay.
So where we going?
Marissa.
Hello.
Come in.
Is everything all right?
Actually, no, it's not.
We need to talk about my mom.
I was just thinking the same thing.
Sit down, please.
I know things between you
and your mom have been rocky this year.
- Can you both put the past behind you?
- You have no idea what she's like
or what she's done.
- I know.
I know.
Everything.
We should use this occasion
as a chance to heal.
Make a fresh start.
Family is very important to me, Marissa.
I want us all to be a real family.
- Your sister deserves that, so do you.
- We already have a dad.
I'm well aware.
I'm not trying
to replace him, push him out.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
As of today
I'm the only chance your father has.
- What are you talking about?
This morning I offered to buy
the Balboa Lighthouse
from both he and Sandy
for several million dollars.
Considering the fact that the restaurant
will never open, make a cent
I'd say it was a pretty good deal.
However, if I were to change my mind
decide it was a bad investment,
lose my checkbook
your father would be ruined.
Penniless.
Run out of town.
Which is where I come in.
You are very important to your mother.
She is very important to me.
- Be part of our family.
- Which means what, exactly?
Well, you're already part of the wedding.
When your mom moves in
you come and live with us too.
- You're joking, right?
It would mean everything to her.
And if I do this, then you'll
definitely buy the restaurant?
This conversation would have
to remain confidential.
You wouldn't want my mom to know
you blackmailed me into living with her?
So do we have a deal?
Wonderful.
Now, was there something
else that you wanted to ask me about?
- You okay?
- I'm a prisoner in my own life.
I'm great.
- Well, you did what you needed to do.
- Yeah.
- I guess I just need some sleep.
- Yeah, okay.
I'll call you
I told you, no touching anything, ever.
- You're such a dandy, Cohen.
- You're a dandy, woman.
- Fine, take it.
- No.
I don't want it.
Oh, my God!
Those are tears of joy, yes?
I
I don't even know what to say.
Summer did all the building.
And the heavy lifting.
And the wiring
of the electronics.
But I painted.
I know you're a Paris fan.
It's amazing.
This is so cool.
We looked through your toys
and couldn't find any plastic horses
but we did find this.
Share Bear! Wow!
Yeah, she'll watch over you
with her Care Bear stare.
How do you know
about the Care Bear stare?
- I painted that.
- Yes, you did.
I did.
Thanks, you guys.
- I really needed this.
- Yeah, it was nothing.
For you.
You should see Cohen with a power saw.
How do you know about
the Care Bear stare?
- Dude, leave it alone.
- No, I'm just curious.
- Isn't he cute?
- It's like It's kind of