Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
"NOT ACTUAL TURKEYS"
So Kim I hear you would like to become a surrogate mother?
Is that correct?
Yes that is correct.
And do you have children of your own?
No I don't
Have you ever had a child?
No
Err so you've never been pregnant?
No
then I'm afraid you are not going to be able to become a surrogate mother.
No clinic will take you on as a surrogate mother
- Because you have never had a child of your own. - ok
Normlly surrogate mothers are women that are single mothers.
Because it is a very stressful and disstessful situation.
So it is just not going to be possible I'm afraid.
- I guess we go to the clinics in America then. - We can't...
Err no we are in England and you can't do that in this country.
Do you really want to have a child?
Yes for them I do.
And what about for yourself?
Well not now obviously.
May be in the future one day but..
Well surrogacy is not an option I'm afraid.
You won't be able to get that in this country.
So is there anything else we can do?
Oh yes of course There are other options.
- There is DIY which - ok
- Like like woodwork?
- Because we're not very good at that. - Sorry... SHHHH!
Sorry he hasn't
Sorry who are you?
We are... we are lovers. we are going to be the
The couple, couple.
We are in a relationship.
- Yeah we are going to be the fathers. - Lovers sounds so...
So you are in love and you're in a realtionship?
So what...?
- I mean we are the fathers. - The fathers of the future... - Intended fathers
Fathers?
Kim I don't know if you know this But erm...
Normally
It is only possible for a child
To have one mother and one father
Normally what happens...
I don't know if you studied GCSE biology
But what happens is... one *** fertilises one egg
And you get one child.
That is how it works.
It has never happend
That there has been two fathers.
no... we...
They wanted to mix.
- We wanted to mix - Biologically we were quite aware that...
But we meant
When we said fathers
The people who will be...
- Rearing the child.... together - - Rearing? - Yes.
This is not a farm yard!
We are not talking about sheep here
This is a child we are talking about.
There will be no rearing.
So back to the point... so what... What can we do?
Well I'm very concerned that these erm...
That that
This... Couple
Think that erm...
They can mix their ***. I'm afriad
That is against the law in this country.
You can't mix *** at all.
There are options
One of the options is
- That you will have to sleep with one of these men. - No. no no.
Ok I mean I could do that I have some experience.
Mike we've spoken about this!
I could tell you how to do it... I just count the cracks in the wall.
You would have to sleep with one of these men Kim?
No that is not an option.
So can we move onto the next option.
I totally understand.
- The other option is DIY. - ok.
Do It Yourself.
What would that... entail?
Sorry?
- What would that entail? - Yeah not woodwork!
I know! That is why I'm asking.
Basically what that would entail is...
That you do it yourself.
Hence DIY.
What you would have to do is... Do the turkey basting method
- Where you would have to - Turkey Basting method?
Yeah.
Don't worry there is no turkeys... Not actual turkeys Involved
What would happen is
You would have to go the chemist...
And get an ovulation predictor test kit
Which would telll you the best time in your...
In your life... when you are ovulating.
And that would be the best time for fertilisation.
Then what would happen is you would have to use a syringe
Where you would... inject
Their ***
Because they are so intent on mixing
Their good apparently genes.
and erm...
You would have to inject their mixture into yourself.
And then hopefully
One of their *** will fertilise
one of your eggs and you will get pregnant.
The best way to do this is through ***.
- You would have to have an ***. - An ogasm?
Kim have you Kim have you?
Kim you would have to have the ***.
- Have you ever had one before? - Yes I have had an ***
- Are you sure??? - We can help.
I'm just not the best.
I've got one half of a... A clean half of a double ended thing
- Mike Mike! - I'm afriad...
- Listen listen! - It vibrates
I don't... Really! I'm not concerned with what you do in your spare time.
This is about Kim and getting Kim Her ***.
- Have you got a vibrator? - Yeah I said I've got one.
It is ok! I don't need his vibrator
You would just have to have an ***.
And that would help the *** along into fallopian tube and hopefully
- You would get pregnant. - ok so that is what we need to do.
- That is what you need to do. - Alright so...
- Ok so we'll - go the local pharmacy.
On the corner and get...
a turkey basting injector.
And the kit... the kit don't forget about the kit.
Thank you so much.
You've been awfully helpful
- Oh well Thank you - Thank you