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[crash]
JASON V.O.: let me help- DANI V.O.: That's fine, I got it.
STACEY: (gasp)
DANI O.S.: Stacey?
STACEY: I attack! [struggling]
JASON: Stop! I'm sorry.
But I choose Dani.
STACEY: [crying]
ANNA: If we want to help Stacey, we have to proceed according to the ancient five step process.
ERIN: What does that even mean?
ANNA: My therapist says there's five stages of grief when a girl loses her boyfriend.
Anger. Renunciation of men. Rampant lesbianism, and... two others I can't remember...
STACEY O.S.: [screams]
ANNA: There it is- Anger. She's well on her way. STACEY O.S.: argh!
STACEY: Anna gave me these to help with the mood swings.
STACEY: (sobbing) I really think they're helping.
STACEY: [crying]
ANNA: There, there...
STACEY: My mom always said that men would be the end of.... everything!
I never believed her until now! [sniffs]
ERIN: Eugh. That is just not right.
JASON: Friends have been lost, turned to bitter rivals. Beautiful Camelot is no more.
I'm just like Lancelot.
DANI: Erin said, if it doesn't feel like cheating, it's not cheating.
JASON: Actually I guess I'm more like Guinevere...
ERIN: We said he couldn't be here.
ANNA: We can see you! You're not invisible!
STACEY: I'm never, ever going to date another man again.
I'm going to be a lesbian.
Anna? Erin? Want to join me?
ERIN: Did she just proposition us?
ANNA: Stages two, and three! Just go with it.
DANI: So, there's a knight further down the path you're on-
ERIN: Isn't this the same knight that we killed last week?
DANI: Uhm... uh..
STACEY: I'm never going to date again. I'm going to be an old widower.
ERIN: That would mean your wife died.
STACEY: Yeah. That's what I'm going to be.
DANI: It feels like cheating.
DANI: Stacey I have something to tell you.
It's embarassing for me to say this, but
I hate your hair.
I hate the way you speak, and everything about you, but
I did you wrong. JASON: So did I!
DANI: So did he, and
We never meant to hurt you.
I'm sorry.
[crunch]
STACEY: I still think you should pluck more.
DANI: And I have something to say to you two.
ANNA: Oh, but I like my hair.
DANI: This game is the only thing I've had, all my life.
DANI: I'm not going to be your DM anymore.
Stacey, the book is yours if you want it.
STACEY: (gasp)
DANI: Sometimes you can't get back into your shell.
STACEY: Oh, I am going to pwn all of you.
[theme song: "Roll the Dice" by Nerds With Guitars]