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Prison Diary(a)
Day 6
I am pretty sure....
wait...
hhhmmmm?
no.....
I'm positive,
that I will never get used to taking a dump in prison.
I can't put in to words how awkward it is.
I am basically pooping
next to my bunky's head
*oh, hey there
Not because I want to,
or he wants me to for that matter,
it's just the configuration of this itty-bity cell.
I "courtesy flush"
which is, flushing as soon as "splash down."
But it doesn't exactly mask the fact,
that there was a *** in the room 2 seconds ago.
The nose don't lie my friend.
At home,
I shut the door,
lock it,
turn the fan on,
and read a magazine.
In here?
I'm taking a crap in the bedroom,
right next to the bed.
There is a reason that they don't build houses like this.
In county,
it was like taking a dump in the living room,
You're in the middle of everyone,
right next to the TV.
*"don't mind me"
*"just"
*"taking a ***"
*"enjoy your show"
*grunting
To make things worse,
the last two meals have been heavy on the beans.
And to really top it off,
this morning, they served boiled prunes.
Beans and prunes?
We have the fricking, Manhattan Project going on in the kitchen.
*boom
Chef Oppenheimer and his "recipe of death."
I bet they laugh their *** off in the kitchen,
thinking about everyone filling up on beans and prunes,
and heading back to their cells for 12 hours.
*farting sounds
*explosive diarrhea
*from all corners of the cell block
*"aaaaaaaaaaa! It burns!"
*one last squirt
Laugh it up guys.
Dicks.