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So I'm about to go visit Michael Alig in prison. I'm really nervous, I um, have been dreaming
about this day from the moment that I laid eyes on him.
I'm a fan, just like everybody else. But the thing that I love about Michael, and that
also scares me about Michael, is that he reminds me so much of myself that I realize my true
potential; actually watching the life of someone very similar to me unfold a decade or two
prior. His life was--he was living what I'm living now while I was being born.
And, um, I've written him twice and I told him something one time. I told him that I
was afraid of him. He wrote to me, and it was the first thing he said "no one has ever
said that to me." I was like, I can't believe they haven't though. I cannot believe they
haven't. He said I hope it's not because of my crime,
and you know, partially it was. It was because of his crime.
How could I not be afraid of him? He had a potential, but also, I knew my own potential--so
that, in itself, scared me. And that's what brought me to saying that to him.
He said nobody had ever told him that before, and it struck me. And then I realized that
the only way for me to really get to know Michael and to figure out why I have this
immense longing for him is to just go to him. So, I lost my job--well--we mutually parted
ways according to the legal stipulation, last week.
I am unemployed. It is Saturday morning.
And I had no previous plans to do this as of right now, but, I am about to get in my
car and drive to Elmira and go visit him.
God is calling me to him.
I believe that everyone has a chance to be saved and I have done some things that other
people and God has forgiven me for that I still have a hard time forgiving myself for.
So, I'm going to go to Michael. My heart is calling to him. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm really scared. OK. Bye. Wish me luck.