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When I open the door there's my wife collapsed,
With a knife sticking out of her back
The carpet's all bloodstained.
If a stranger saw this they might faint.
I remain calm.
"Looks like cleaning up will be tough today"
I laugh.
And, still face-down but looking satisfied,
My wife laughs, "Fu fu fu!"
When I get home my wife pretends to be dead.
What kind of death she'll have tomorrow,
I can't even begin to imagine!
One day she had an arrow through her head.
Another time, dressed as a soldier with a gun.
The time I saw her in a dead sunfish costume,
I thought I'd close the door on her.
Cleaning up afterwards is quite a pain.
Having to wash the bloodstains from the carpet and all.
Even so, I'd wish she'd spare me the sight of her
drawing with that arrow in her head.
When I get home my wife pretends to be dead.
If I compliment her she gets all caught up in it,
so I try my best to ignore it.
Before we were married, though I was busy
just being able to see her made me happy.
We'd drive around aimlessly all night
And go see the ocean. And yet,
right after we married, I got promoted.
and work became more fun.
I didn't even think of how my wife felt,
waiting all alone at home.
My wife pretending to be dead when I come home,
could it be because she wants to return to how we used to be?
I just don't know.
If coming home to see my wife's performance waiting for me,
is the shape our love will take,
I guess that works in it's own way.
When I get home my wife pretends to be dead.
I wonder what kind of death she'll have today.
I just can't wait as I open the door!