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Recovery from emotional abuse as a child
wanted to shoot a video for you this morning I
if you five Google these keywords: about emotional abuse then
obviously you have in some issues in your life that are affecting
a quality life in your relationship someone I'd like to do
is to share with you didn't first of all our years of experience having gone
through the same issues - recovering from emotional abuse in childhood
in my own childhood and go through years Cena
in years of canceling listen to different 10
scenarios in how people were going to help me with my guide
going through the past ultimately
Anna after school counseling so that was good
I learn some techniques that would help me
find peace in my life actually find joy in helping me too much
to put wonderful relationships back into my life
and I went on later %uh much later life too
to get a doctor to into in Christian counseling
what I'd like to do today is is not to give you a lottt textbook jorgen
bill what I would like to do is to give you some
some actual real other waste that you can help yourself if you are dealing
with some emotional abuse from your childhood from your parents
from whatever occurred then happened in your life that you feel like holding you
back
and I'm it's very real I'm not gonna say
that those things did not hurt us because they did
but we do not have to let them define this
and so what it's like to do is just share with you that
at some point I began to realize and
one of the things that we do we get around the wrong kinda people and some
other
twelve-step meetings and that's and everyone was
was this way but there are a lot of people who on to sit around
and even counselors who all they want to do is talk about
what happened to you and blame and
those occurrences for what's happening in your life today
and why yes that is real and yes it heard
I don't think it helps us to stay stuck and al- point in my life had to realize
that
you know I could let what happened to me the
define who I was defined my future
what my relationships were gonna be like if
or I could to you know I another sack continue to let the enemy when
the enemy was what happened to me and decided that
you know I was gonna have to let go I was basically did it
digging a grave from my cell them
and I didn't want to let that pass to find the future
so healing is all about choice
and you do have a choice whether you pursue healing or not
and l1 other things i would like to suggest reach you do
his cell in order to heal although we would want to isolate
and and jealous stay alone and feel sorry for ourselves and
all the above and really we just really like being around people most of the
time
I'll for the hardest thing for us to do is to go ahead and connect with some
people
and I think that's one of the most positive things that you can do
if those people are good for you in your life
now usually what we did
we put toxic %uh relationships in our life
they keep perpetuating what went on
in early last because that's what we're used to and
also because our self-image %uh has been affected by what's happened to us we
don't really feel like we deserve
good relationships in our life is so basically the thought is
if you really knew me you would be around anyway you go away
that's kinda you know I understand that thinking but
what I would encourage you to do is put up some boundaries
and to keep those people away from you
who keep a warning to define you buy
that abuse in other words they don't to
they don't blow wind beneath your wings say use %um manipulate you
in control you Legion around so to speak
a by your feelings by your nose because of destructive things that happen to you
like
and what we do is to keep repeating those patterns wiki put no same kinda
people
in our life and they just kinda
keeps running around in circles and so
try to put some some people who will accept you just like you are
you may have to go to 12-step meetings you may have to go to
to church to meet some good people who do that and even churches will put that
shame on you and try to control you sometimes and so you
you have to be careful about that but
or the keys is putting a good people around you that are going to help
support you
sick another thing is to realize that your childhood was a
was damaged and doesn't mean you have to be scarred
you know for the rescue life yes we have scars but they don't have to tell us
where we're going to how we're going live
if but %uh the
what I think it was john bradshaw used to talk about
the inner child the child who did not get
what it deserved growing up in the home or in the situation that you're in
and so that child is fearful and it's hard for us to have fun in
you know life so serious because we're trying to serve and
so anything you can do to put good things back in your life
things that you love things that cause you have fun
that's what I would do so you wanna try to to heal this said
this inner child as best you can you know for me and you can take a ruling
you can use if you or not but
a I use to you know for some let me back up a bit it was hard for me to
to believe in God because what happened in my life and I'm not gonna go and all
that
as I got older but then to the 12 steps I found a higher power
and what I would do this how would visualize that hard times after see the
loving God loving
Christ I would perceive him
with me in those situations in my life and let him surround me with his lover
left
in Oak Hill this better child it for me
you know that worked I would encourage you to let go
love a the things that keep you stuck
a lotta times we wanna be ourselves up because
okay it's I reacted that way again well
you know the Senate being yourself up except yourself for who you are
and realize you do not have to keep repeating the destructive behaviors
you do have a choice that's the most important thing I would want to tell you
today his you have a choice
how you gonna live your life and you do not have to let those
old rules define who you are and create coat up in the situations in your life
their destructive for you so
get some new rules get a new definition of who you are
and put people around you that go to reinforce that
and I would Journal I use deal with my left hand
because that would let some other feelings come up with them this
%uh inner child death I'll and then maybe Aki grieving
by the way with this idea is grieving there lotta counselors
%uh who were gonna watch it agree for the rest your life
you know I want to psychiatrists once I was miserable
you know i'd taking pills and doing everything I could do
to kill the pain the lead to see if they can he would have some hope for me what
he said was
it's going to take years and years and years for you to get better
and he gave me a box it innocent ills today
and I walked outta there really hmmm
disappointed and depressed
you know how little you want tell you today it is not take years
for you to begin to feel better and to put good things in your life
he just does not have to be that way anybody that wants to tell you that
I just I've run from them as fast as a good shape defeat of
the dust off my feet in that get out there because that's just not the way it
is
%uh you do you do have some grieving to do by Charles childhood
but you don't have to grieve all the time when I would sit down in general
maybe a journal left hand trying to get in touch with the inner child
and I would agree for a while but at some point you gotta come back to an
adult state
and go live your life so you don't have to walk around in that
hmm in that stated the small child who scared and fear for full of anxiety
so limit yourself to let you know when you're gonna do you grieving and you
don't have to grieve for the rest your life
today I have a wonderful life that yeah trying to run away from relationships or
destructive were
good for me my life and I was used to the destructive one so want
someone finally came along that would levy in conditionally
I wanted a runaway but I recognize that
that situation and decide you know what I did have to be that way
stayed in it and guess what you know Bettis
for over 20 years and it's been a wonderful thing
so I made a choice that I was gonna change no one to blame
everybody else although I had suffer her
so well my life was like today because I was not gonna drag the future around
or the passed around like a ball and chain into my future
and that's what I would encourage for you
so if you go to go to any kind of counseling
you know you're welcome to email me I subscribe to my channel Lisa comments 0
be glad to talk to you try to help you
but you know don't go
%uh to people who are going to tell you it's gonna take years and years years
talk to somebody that's gonna say you know what I know that her
and now we're gonna have to deal with that and now let's move on
and that's what you can say to yourself in your own life
and encourage it %ah
to have a wonderful I'm there's no reason to walk around
being miss you all the time and with that being said I'm gonna wish you the
best
and if you want you can name gonna put this up on you too
and a you can subscribe to the channel we doing a lot of videos
over the next few months tips things it to the two
you could do to help yourself and this recovery situation
and I'll talk to you later
see a up