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Some things in life
happen by chance.
These can be small, little things.
You never really pay attention to them
And
You don't realize how much you appreciate them
Until you finally take notice.
But sometimes
They can change your whole life.
I don't know if
fate brought us together.
Or if God was just playing some sick game.
But I do know one thing.
For the first time in my life,
I felt...
happy.
Was it really love?
Or were we too young to understand?
I'm not too sure.
But it was nice having someone in my life like you.
The more I think about it,
the more I realize how alone I've been my whole life.
I just felt like I didn't belong anywhere.
But I didn't mind.
And then,
out of nowhere,
a beautiful girl like you decided to be with a guy like me.
Of course, I didn't have a problem with that.
It just felt so... surreal.
We'd talk for hours and hours,
telling each other whatever came into our minds.
It was nice, just having someone to talk to.
But then I asked myself,
what happened?
One day,
you just... vanished from my life.
You left me with nothing behind
As if it was all just a dream.
But, it wasn't a dream.
Was it?
And just like that.
My world fell apart.
I was alone.
The only one left in my world.
There's only a large hole
where you used to be.
Why did this happen?
I did nothing wrong.
You...!
No...
It's not your fault.
It's all my fault.
I should have known better.
I was a fool.
Everything was my fault.
There was nothing you could've done.
I can only blame myself.
Maybe this feeling
would go away.
It's been a long time since you disappeared.
I should have stopped caring ages ago.
But I didn't.
I knew you were never coming back.
And I accepted that.
But why do I keep trying?
I mean nothing to you.
Since the beginning
til now.
You just weren't interested in me.
But maybe deep down,
that might not be true.
Maybe you're still out there.
Maybe you're just waiting
And maybe,
you really did care.
I've been meaning to do this for a while.
And no matter what happens, I'll continue forward.
I know
the chances of me seeing you again is
practically none.
But is it even about a relationship anymore?
It's been long gone.
And destroyed.
But why do I keep trying?
Is it just because I want to see you one last time?
To make things up?
To love again?
For you to fill the void in my life?
No.
It's none of that.
I just want to tell you that
I'm sorry.
And I'll try everything I can
Just to tell you that.
I just don't have the strength right now.
I miss you.
I really do.
More than what you would have ever thought.
But you're never coming back.
No matter how hard I try.
But I'm glad I had met you.
You made me who I am today.
And for that, I'm grateful.
Thank you.
For being my friend,
my first love,
and helping me get this feeling off my chest.
If you ever get this letter.
maybe I finally would be able to move on.