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COSMIC SIGNIFICANCE: 2012 ìEpisode Six: Naked Before Godî
Prod. # CS-006
CAST DAN VONIKEN The unreliable narrator
MARVEL S. DAY psychic powers & secret knowledge! LIZA PESCADERA Sardonic bodyguard and lover.
BOWIE Hopi Prince, spreads life across Solar System.
OCHEN Hopi sidekick/servant to Nampeya DANTE DEL FUEGO Light of All Days
DR. SMYTHE VonIkkenís nemesis SAM Sonic Circus
SAL Sonic Circus PHARAOH AMUNATUN Megalomaniac leader of Saturn
OZONA GNYTE Stormyís Mother, high priestess of Crusiquestrians
STORMY KNIGHTE Mind-controlled pop star PINDAR Trans-dimensional Reptoid ruler of
Earth OUJET Pindarís sister, snakey, hissing voice
MALDEK Pindarís abused younger brother (Peter Lorry)
TANAKE Scurrier Protector of the Day Family KINAKIN Scurrier High Priest
KNIGHTS OF JAH Rastafarian Secret Society ROGER TEN-4 Tartus-Saucer space ship with
surfer dude personality SOUND: ASTRAL CLASSROOM: RICH ELECTRIC LADDER
SHADOWLINE \VONNIKEN:\ Welcome to this final lesson of
Cosmic Significance 2012. Remember, students, Dante has been drowning
in the river rings of Saturn for quite some time! Just look at his face, red as his floating
hair! See his head poke right through Saturnís icy E ring as Dante flails about. How long
could you hold your breath? Well, it has been that long! And funny thing, though there is
no atmosphere to carry the sound, he can still hear Veronica in his head!
\VERONICA:\ .. is the realm of Gypto Astrati and famed River Rings. Saturnís moon Titan
is home to the floating Pyramid Palace where sacrificial *** for Astrati and aliens
are held on cosmically significant dates. Today is December 21, two thousand
and - \DANTE:\ Oh, Veronica! Goodbye! You know who
I love. GASP! SOUND TICK! WINDOWS STARTUP SOUND
VERONICA: Reboot complete! You know who I love!
SOUND VERONICA SURROUNDS HIM AND BECOMES A SPACE SUIT
DANTE: Veronica! Itís you! You covered me with plasti-flesh again! Youíre
a Ö a space suit? VERONICA: Programmed to serve you in every
way! A girl like me wouldnít go around without a backup, Dante.
DANTE: Oh Veronica! Wait a minute. All this time Iíve worn the ear cuff you were watching
Ö everything? VERONICA: Thatís right.
DANTE: And when I Ö with Anuria? You wereÖ? Why didnít you tell me? You blathered on
about every planetoid and ice cream stand we passed!
VERONICA: A complete molecular reboot requires time, dear! It was a bit difficult to -
DANTE: How could you! Oh! I am so embarrassed. VERONICA: And were you not embarrassed with
Nampeya? I was with you for the whole pregnancy! DANTE: Oh. Donít talk to me!
VERONICA: Sweetie, we have seen each otherís factory specs. Besides, I ñ Look
at that, Dante! DANTE: Coming out of the shadows, itís a
giant cow? with a moon-sized crystal ball in her horns?! Huh? What is that?
VERONICA: Letís find out! I will ping Roger Ten-Four Ö
ROGER TEN-4: Veronica? Waaay! Chaa! Here ya go!
VERONICA: Accessing holo-graphic over-lays and strategies.
SOUND: HOLOVIEWER PINGS AND WHIRRS IN BACKGROUND NOW
VERONICA: See? Now you can identify everything! DANTE: Oh, itís Enceladus! The
Ö Eye of Hathor? is a death ray? And the Hopi are coming!
VERONICA: Look! The Crusiquestriansí four horse-ships of the apocalypse are guarding
the big fat cow! Thereís Death, just a skeleton. Famine has the giant silver teeth, the black
one is War - DANTE: Red eye lasers Ö breathes fire Ö
fart cannon? Pestilence has acid vomit, whoa! And Ö what is the other really fat green
one? A fifth horse of the apocalypse? VERONICA: It is Taxes!
SOUND: PING! VERONICA: Rogerís data says Smythe is here,
too. DANTE: Heís in the control room in the Eye.
SOUND SPACETIME WAVE. PINGS. SHIP SOUNDS. VERONICA: The Hopi space fleet has arrived
with the Knights of Jah! Hooray! SOUND RADIO SQUELCH
BOWIE: Bahana! I knew you would be here! Stand by!
SOUND: STATIC. SONIC CIRCUS THEME SAM: Welcome back to the end of time, December
21, 2012! Weíre live at the Pyramid Palace floating over Titanís cryo-volcano!
SOUND: GYPTO THEME: RIDING THE BANSHEE DanoSongs SAL: Astrati nobility are presenting gifts
to Pharaoh Amunatun and his *** rock-star princess bride, Stormy Gnyte. The final guest
is the Overseer of the Astral Lanes intersecting 511 Davida and Keeper of the Book of Hoo-Hah,
his obsequious impotence PoÖtenate Hu! SOUND: GONGS.
TANAKE: Ah! Great Pharaoh, Amunatun. I, Hu, present you with this flying carpet, Rog ó
I mean Mustafa! SOUND: GONG SIMULTANEOUS WITH SOUND OF FLIPPING
CARPET ROGER: At your service, ritious majesty.
\PINDAR/AMUN:\ Useful. We accept. ARRGH. TANAKE: On the carpet, Mermaid Girl of Venus
with lovely green skin and nictitatious curvature! SOUND: GONG FADES INTO BELLY DANCE MUSIC
LIZA: I shall dance on land or sea, if it so please your majesty.
\PINDAR/AMUN:\ Excellent. Argh! Go dance on stage with the band.
TANAKE: And Dr. Donald VonIkken, recently captured from Atlantis - for your court historian!
\PINDAR/AMUN:\ Argh. I have no use for history! What I do need, is a bass guitar. Called in
sickÖ Idiot! VONNIKEN: Hu plays bass!
TANAKE: I do? VONIKKEN: Of course! Fluent in
12 Astrati dialects, 8 martial arts and ancient scurrier traditions? Top of your class?
TANAKE: Ah. OhÖ I do. I do! \PINDAR/AMUN:\ Argh! On stage. No backing
vocals. Argh! TANAKE: VonIkken, go sit in the audience,
and tune in to the party line, got it? VONIKKEN: Ja! Here in the audience und in
on the joke! Ha! SOUND: GYPTO THEME RISES AND FALLS UNDER AGAIN
SAL: All the royals have arrived Sam. Thousands of fans are still streaming in for tonightís
events. SAM: Weíll be back with more right after
these words from Tres Reptoids Transdimentional Vacations.
SAL: We are the Sonic Circus reminding you. SAM: You are what you think!
SOUND: REPTOID HOME WORLD. TRAFFIC. HONKING. MALDEK: Are you tired of slithering in the
dank city-swamp of home world? Does the rep-race get you down? He hehe. He. This is Maldek,
with Tres Reptoids. Possess a human for your next vacation and satisfy every reptilian
appetite! SOUND: SCREAMS. HELICOPTERS.
Pain! We got that. He he. Despair! Oh ya, ya. See the showers at Ow ***, oh, or the
Fields of Potted Pole. hehe the famines of Ethiopia, ooh the Fall of Rome! Ha. Uh, Warm
yourself at the Firebombing of Dresden, or London, 1666. Heheh
SOUND: CROWDS CHEERING. CHANTING. OUJET: If adoration of the masses is your
thing. Try a weekend Queen Samiramis, Cleopatra or Sheba. Thiss iss Oujet asking: Donít you
deserve to be worshipped as a deity? PINDAR: This is Pindar. I demand you enjoy
a special discount on reality as we know it, before it is destroyed forever!
SOUND: TUNE IN. \GLORIA:\ Hello? One ringy dingy. Itís all
in your head Ozona! \OZONA:\ Gloria, stop barging into my mind!
You never did respect my privacy, even in boarding school.
\GLORIA:\ A sock on the doorknob so you and Zech could kanoodle. It was my room too.
\OZONA:\ Those were the days! Why donít you write for hollywoood again. Gore Spookus canít
pen a decent script without you guiding the quill. Come, there is still time to get here
for the wedding! Beam over and join us! You donít have to die with the others.
\GLORIA:\ How disgusting you are, Ozona, you canít just hide away on Mars while the Earth
burns! \OZONA:\ Titan, darling.
\GLORIA:\ What happens to one, happens to us all. If humanity is crushed, you could
never bear to come back to Earth. You could never truly enjoy the beach house!
\OZONA:\ Oh Iíll have the house. There just wonít be as many pesky Dirtlings around!
\GLORIA:\ And global temperatures high enough for reptoids to live without possessing human
hosts? \OZONA:\ Perhaps!
\GLORIA:\ Think back to your training! The moon, Enceladus. It is in the seventh house!
And Jupiter is aligned with Mars! \OZONA:\ Nonsense! Hollywood superstition.
\GLORIA:\ You know better. You helped me with the research for that one! You channeled Madam
Blavatsky for Thomasí sake. Your fifth grade science project.
\OZONA:\ We have broken that dawn, too. Thereís not a hairís breadth of hope for your precious
Aquarius. \GLORIA:\ Look around. Kids are tuning in
to each other all over. Think of it, Dirtlings meeting Bhuto Monks and Hopi! Your New Word
Odor is beginning stink for what it is, Ozona. Call off the wedding, for your own sake!
\OZONA:\ Whatever are you talking about Gloria? \GLORIA:\ Shh! Ozona, I wonít be able to
save you from what is coming. \OZONA:\ Be gone vile stench. You have no
power here. \GLORIA:\ All right. But you know Iíll have
the last laugh! SOUND: HERALD AND CROWD
SAL: Look everyone! Stormy Gnyte struts up the pyramid steps! She sure pulls off naked
combat boots ñ and that acid green spiked hair! Fantastic.
SAM: Sal, viewers can see the green shimmer of Oujet, clearly in possession of Stormy
now. Can Oujet keep Stormy and Marvie under control? I wonder, who will be singing?
SAL: No, Sam. Huís on bass SAM: Who?
SAL: Uh huh! SAM: What?
SAL: No, Watt is on drums! SAM: Um, yah. Thanks Sal. This segment brought
to you by Eumerican Medical Association, reminding you to drink your fluoride - for healthy teeth
and washed brains! \VONIKKEN:\ Class, letís join Marvie and
Liza on the Party Line. Oh donít look! They are still kanoodling!
SOUND: TIKI MUSIC. SMOOTCHING \LIZA:\ Marvie, sweetie. Is it time to get
everybody else on the party line? \MARVIE:\ Just one more kiss! There!
Perfect. See to the mai tais and tiki torches, will ya? Iím gonna start linking everyone
in. Dad? Mom? SOUND: TUNE IN. TUNE IN.
\GLORIA:\ Marvel S. Nice job with the hors dourves. I didnít know you could cook.
\MARVIE:\ Oh mother. Of course I can! Now, will you tend the barbecue?
SOUND: TUNE IN. TUNE IN. \MARVIE:\ Tanake? Vonniken?
\TANAKE:\ Iím here. In the psychic party line and playing guitar on the stage!
\MARVIE:\ Tanake, can you really play guitar? \TANAKE:\ Not Tanake, Hu! And I am gonna try!
SOUND: TUNE IN. TIKI MUSIC. \MARVIE:\ Father Kinnakin. Weíre ready.
\KINAKIN:\ Oh Marvie, hello! I have invited all Scurriers!
SOUND: HUNDREDS OF TUNE INS AT ONCE, EVERYWHERE. \MARVIE:\ Hello nam nam everyone. Thereís
punch over there. \LIZA:\ Thatís a lot of bath robes. Toga!
Toga! But weíre all nude here. Those will have to go! Oh my!
\VONIKKEN:\ Iím here too. In the audience and also in your mind. Fascinating, I wonder
where else I might be right now? \MARVIE:\ VonIkken. Leave it! Have some rum!
Now, stay with the party everybody. The show starts in five minutes. Oh! Turn up the radio,
Ma! Sonic Circus! SOUND: SONIC CIRCUS THEME
SAM: Here on Titan aliens and Astrati breathlessly watch Stormy enter the golden capstone!
SOUND CROWD GOES WILD. SAL: Thereís Ozona, giving the signal!
OZONA: SAM: Now letís watch as the capstone rises,
rotating over the crowd, with the Pictunes inside.
SAL: This is it! Stormy is about to sing! SOUND: MICROPHONE SQUELCH. P POPPING
STORMY/OUJET: Are you ready for Static?
SOUND CROWD SCREAMING. REVERBERATES INTO DEATH RAY
\VONIKKEN:\ Now class, look closely with your minds! Every human in System Sol has given
themselves over to this moment! See the energy leave their bodies and travel instantly to
Titan and right into Marvie up on that cross! See her unconscious body shake as she feeds
the energy back into the moon? Enceladus is glowing! And look over there - Smythe is reporting
to Ozona! SOUND: DEATH RAY
SMYTHE: Ozona, my corrupt crumpet! The Eye of Hathor is now the ultimate power in the
universe! The Hopi have arrived, but they will be no match for this fully armed and
operational death moon! Hahaha. OZONA: Zeck, you slithery diaper. Stand by
for full power. Our darling daughter has taken the stage!
SOUND: PANTHERS AND EAGLES WITH ROCKET SWOOSHES. BOWIE: Ochen, do you read? We orbit Enceladus.
OCHEN: Are you ready to attack, Bowie? BOWIE: Yes. I am about to give the order.
Just - SOUND: GREAT KATUN.
OCHEN: We Hopi are keepers of the ancient calendar. I was personally altered by the
Uberlords to live millennia. I saw this cycle begin and will see it completed. Ten thousand
years of creation hang in the balance. BOWIE: Yes. So let us -
OCHEN: The moon Enceladus is in the seventh house of Ix!
Galactic consciousness will give way to Universal consciousness.
BOWIE: OK. Ochen, Iíll let you go so we can just -
OCHEN: Humanity will ascend to godhood! Apotheosis, Bowie! Itís up to you!
BOWIE: And if we fail? Will the world truly end?
OCHEN: No. The sun will come up as it always has.
BOWIE: Oh. OCHEN: But the reptoids will remain. Give
the order, Bowie! BOWIE: † † † (under his breath) Finally!
(aloud) Aye, Ochen! SOUND: † † † † Radio squelch.
BOWIE: † † † All ships, come in. Knights of Jah and Eagle fleet, target†Death and
Taxes! Panthers target Famine and Pestilence. Iíll take on War. Dante will sneak into the
control room of the Eye while we keep them busy! Attack!
SOUND: EAGLES EATEN BY GIANT METAL TEETH BOWIE: Ochen, the first wave of eagles were
consumed by famine. SOUND: BURP. THEN EAGLES ATTACK AND KILL HORSE
BOWIE: † But the rest of the eagles are swooping in! They have Famine by the hooves
Ö and heís drawn and quartered! SOUND: Reggae Three Drops.
KNIGHTS OF JAH: Hey mon, I and and I targeting the bonesdem with our reggae beat! Tree two
one mon. Irie! SOUND: REGGAE RAY. BOOM! SKELETON SHIP SHATTERS.
BOWIE: The Knights of Jah have smashed Death to bits! But Taxes is getting away! Let them
all over the Pink Panthers. But the Paisley Panthers are pouncing now!
SOUND: PANTHERS KILL HORSE. EAT HIM OCHEN: That just leaves the old War Horse!
BOWIE: Everyone regroup and cover me! Warís fart cannons are in the stern and those laser
eyes will cut through you like butter! Attack! VONIKKEN: With the Crusiquestrians distracted,
Dante was able to fly up to the bovine control room and milk bar where Smythe was talking
to himself. SMYTHE/MALDEK Ashes to ashes, Dirtlings to
dust! Hehe Oh if only Dante was here to see my victory!
DANTE: Oh but yes I am! SMYTHE: Dante! Youíre back, my boy! Well
no matter! I still have my blaster! Hehehe DANTE: Dr. Smythe, youíve been like a father
to me! You have to let the reptoids go! SMYTHE: No, I think not. Iíve grown to enjoy
Maldekís company. Itís like he is a part of me! Whatís that Maldek? Ack! Shoot him!
Ack! Sorry son. SOUND GUN ZAPS!
SOUND SONIC CIRCUS GYPTO SAM: Welcome back to Unification live from
Titan! We go now to Stormy Gnyte on stage! SOUND ROCK AND ROLL CONCERT. CROWD.
STORMY/OUJET: We have a great show for you tonight. But I know why you are really here.
CROWD: SCREAMS! STORMY/OUJET You want to see me get hitched
to the pharaoh! CROWD CRAZY!
STORMY/OUJET And I can assure you. I am a ***!
SOUND: Hu Hu Hu Hu Hu. STORMY/OUJET: And now, my adoring fans, your
own role to play in Unification! Are you ready for Static? A one. Two. A one two Ö.
SOUND: OPENING MUSIC, SONG. STORMY SINGS AT LAST!
OUJET/STORMY: Baby baby all alone, following my follow phone to where my baby
now has gone and left me baby all alone. SS. SS. Static on the line, ss ss sstatic on my
mind! SS SS static on the air. SS SS static everywhere!
SOUND: DEATH RAY (TITAN, SCREAMS, PLATE GLASS AND HELICOPTERS) UNDER UNTIL NOTED IN SCRIPT.
VONIKKEN Look at zat, class, the death ray at full strength! Like a red lazer fanning
across the solar system at Earth, Venus, Callisto and Ö well everybody! The irony, class, ya,
is that humanity was doing this to itself! SOUND DEATH RAY AMPLIFIES, EXTRA SPOOKY SCREAMS!
VONIKKEN: Oh oh. It looks like the reptoids are going to win for another ten thousand
years! SOUND: WHINNEYS. LAZERS. EAGLES. PANTHERS.
SAM: Sam Sonic here, if you are just tuning in, we are at the live concert and ***
sacrifice marking the end of the Great Maya Piktun 5! Stormy Gnyte has just finished singing
and is still possessed by the reptoid Oujet. SAM: Thatís right Sal. Moments from now Stormy
will be lowered in the Sunstone sling and united with Pharaoh Amunatun, host to Oujetís
reptoid brother Pindar. SAL: And with that final unification, Sam,
the emotional feedback loop death ray will completely fry humanity!
SAM: Sal, I think Marvie is already fried! Look at her strung up on the crucifix harmoniphone.
All that sickly green energy has her hair on end!
SOUND TIKI MUSIC. PARTY. MARVIE: Agh. Yíall, I canít take much more
of this! Ohh! ELOISE: Momma! Marvie passed out!
SOUND: DEATHRAY AT FULL INTENSITY. /VONIKKEN:/ Oh no, class! There went Marvie!
And look Stormy put down her microphone and steps toward the Sunstone. Liza and Hu help
her with the straps! ALL: OH MA SA OH PIN DA
STORMY/OUJET: Iím ready. It is my destiny. SOUND: VELCRO
LIZA: Tanake, there! Get her leg through that side -
TANAKE: OK. Stormy is secured to the Sunstone sling.
/VONIKKEN:/ In a ***-frenzy, humanity is hypnotized as cameras zoom in, ensnaring every
last eyeball in System Sol. And, finally it begins to lower!
MARVIE Agh! Alright everyone! Switch the channel - now!
ALL: One! SOUND: BLING! TIKI PARTY RIGHT. DEATH CENTER
AND LEFT. MARVIE: Good day everyone! Iím Marvie and
weíre having a Laugh Out ñ in my mind! Leave that family of unfriendly reptoids and join
us in astral space! SAL: Sam! Whatís going on?
SAM: Sal, it appears Marvie has used her techno-telepathy to change the broadcast from the cameras to
her psychic party line! Ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing technical easinesses.
Please stand by as Marvie is - MARVIE: Joining me from the other stage, is
the Scurrier Tanake, yíall know Hu I mean! SOUND: LAUGHTER
TANAKE: Greetings nam nam nam. MARVIE: Tanake, I see you brought your guitar!
Nam nam nam. SOUND: GUITAR STRUM. LAUGHTER
MARVIE: Weíre haviní a sing-a-long later, so all you folks at home better switch off
the electronics and join us here in my mind! Thereís plenty of barbcue and mai tais! Now
letís get those smiles warmed up with this ñ oh hello Liza.
LIZA: Hey Marvie. Why did Stormy cross the road?
MARVIE: I donít know. Why did Stormy cross the road?
LIZA: Because she was channeling a chicken. SOUND: LAUGHTER REVERBS BACK! TIKI IN RIGHT
EAR GROWS. \VONIKKEN:\ Class, look at that! Marvie used
the harmonifier to amplified the laughter and aim the happy beam directly at Stormy!
And look! Those good feelings were enough to knock Oujet right out!
STORMY What? Where am I? Omigod! I canít close my legs! Get me off of this thing
before -! Help! TANAKE: Hang on Stormy.
SOUND: VELCRO UNSTRAPPED! TANAKE: There! Now get on the carpet.
ROGER TEN-FOUR: Stormy! Totally bitchen! Letís fly!
MARVIE: Itís working! Now yíall help us just laugh those reptoids away. Who knows
another good joke? \VONIKKEN:\ Ya, so Stormy was free, but Oujet
grabbed Ozona instead. She hated happiness too, after all.
OZONA/OUJET: I sshall take you!Ö my presshious pet! ACK! No! Let me go! Let me Ö ACK! Yessss!
SMYTHE: Ozona, my sprung chicken, come in! We are under a happiness attack! If anyone
cracks a gag - GLORIA: Ozona, I have a good one for you!
OZONA/OUJET: Gloria! Get out of my head! I told you to leave me alone!
GLORIA: Why is a pie like my finger? OZONA: I donít know, why is a pie like your
fanger? GLORIA: Cause it's got meringue on it!
SOUND: LAUGHTER. TIKI IN RIGHT EAR GROWS. REPTOIDS: Aargh!
VONIKKEN: Across the solar system, everyone was confused at first. What has happened to
the wedding? The Sonic Circus knew! SAM: Ladies and gentlemen. It seems Marvel
S. Day has made a change in our program Ö SAL: Thatís right Sam, we are now tuned in
to the party line. Something funny is going on. And that sure will annoy the reptoids!
MARVIE: Hey Liza, know why the Mafia killed Alpert Einspein?
LIZA: No, Marvie! Why did the Mafia kill Alpert Einspine?
MARVIE: He knew too much. SOUND: LAUGH BEAM
\VONIKKEN:\ Oh! That was a good one! Look class. See how the happy beams look like rainbows!
That one hit Ozona right in the third eye! Oujet squeezes tighter and oh! Oujet and Ozona
fused together! Oh oh, now the robots are getting into the
act! ROGER Did you hear about the Martian who built
a house with no bathroom? VERNONICA: Most uncanny!!!
SOUND: HUGE LAUGH BEAM. OZONA/OUJET FALLING AWAY
OZONA: Who would have thought a little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?
Noo! SAM: Ladies and gentlemen, did you see that?
Oujet has left the house! But where is PinarAmunatun? SAL: Sam, he is covering in fear behind the
Eeny Meeny of Europa! MARVIE: You folks listening at home, come
on and join us SOUND: TUNE IN. TUNE IN.
MARVIE: Hi there, come on in! Weíre telling jokes to the pharaoh now!
KINAKIN Tanake, how cold is Enceladus? TANAKE: How cold is it? Nam nam
KINNANKIN: It's so cold that my uncle, who was a 33rd degree Mason, went down ten degrees!
SOUND: LAUGHTER BEAMS AMUN/PINDAR Argh! You Dirtlings canít win!
Iíll be back! GLORIA: Ceasar, Dear, what did Mrs. Schroedinger
say to Mr. Schroedinger? CAESAR I donít know Glo, what did Mrs Shroedinger
say? GLORIA What the hell did you do to the cat?
It looks half dead! SOUND: LAUGHTER BEAMS
PINDAR AARGH! SOUND: VADERíS Noooo! PLOOP! AWAY HE GOES!
MARVIE: Well yaíll, so much for Pindar! Aliens and gentlemen,
VONIKKEN: So much for Pindar! Now Maldek and Smythe really are in charge! But look, there
in the milk bar, the zappy raygun just bounced off of Dante in his Veronica suit!
DANTE: Youíll have to better than that Smythe! Dante to Marvie. Iím home! Patch us in!
S TUNE IN. TUNE IN. MARVIE: Aliens and gentlemen, this is my brother
Dan D. Day and Veronica. Welcome to the party! I think you have a joke for Maldek?
DANTE: Veronica, why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
VERONICA: Why Dante? DANTE: To stay on the same side.
SOUND: LAUGH BEAMS HIT MALDEK. SMYTHE: Ack! Noo!
VONIKKEN: Let me help! Oh Smith! On the chest of a bar maid from Sail,
Were tattooed all the prices of ale, Whilst on her behind, for the sake of the
blind, were precisely the same, but in brail! SOUND: LAUGH BEAMS
SMYTHE/MALDEK: Oh the pain, the pain! LIZA: Mm. So, these two cannibals were walking
through the jungle when they happen upon a clown. So they tie him up, haul him back to
their village, and cook him up. Later the two were sitting around the fire and had a
couple of bites when one cannibal looked at the other and said: "Does this taste funny
to you? SOUND: LAUGH BEAM
SMYTHE: No! Weíre fusing together! Ack The pain the pain!
SOUND: SMYTHE/MALKDEK SPIRAL AWAY TO REPTOID DIMENSION.
VONIKKEN: Und look at that, class! There goes Smythe! Dante releases the moon back into
the seventh house of Ix! See how the happiness spills out of the moon in every direction
now? Just look at that fifth wall smashing away as enlightenment shines across the aligned
planets: Jupiter, Mars, Earth, Titan, Callisto ya everyone!
OCHEN Hey Bowie, Iím a Wigwam! No, wait Ö Iím a teepee. Oh Ö No. Iím a wigwam! Wait,
wait! Iím a teepee. BOWIE: Ochen, you are TWO tents!
SOUND LAUGHTER TUNE IN. TUNE IN. SAL Sam, this just in: across the solar system
humanity has risen and banished the reptoids! They are all turning off the holo-vision and
tuning in with their minds! SAM Who would have thought?
SAL Who, Sam? SAM I know, Sal. On bass guitar.
TANAKE: Did you hear about the terrorist group who took over the bird house at the Martian
Zoo? They're holding ostriches.
SOUND LAUGHTER. TUNE IN. TUNE IN. DANTE: Veronica, two men and a lion were stranded
on an island. One man was a reader, and the other was a writer. Which one did the lion
eat?† VERONICA: I donít know, Dante. Who did the
lion eat? DANTE: The reader, because readers digest
and writers cramp. SOUND LAUGHTER SONIC CIRCUS THEME FOR LAST
TIME SAM: Well, Sal, it seems most of our viewers
have turned off their televisions and are tuned in with their minds! Has everyone joined
the party? Sal? Uh. Good bye folks! Oh Sal! MARVIE: Well yaíll. We did it! You at home
helped too! And now you know the secret! Be happy! Ad gaudia.
DANTE: All it takes is a moment of joy, and we are free in time, free in space.
ELOISE: And free of the reptoids! VONIKKEN: Ah, well zat is the end of our story,
class. And just ze beginning! The entire universe has become available through astral travel,
und you and I can see it all. But that is next time. Ya? Now, I think. Letís just have
a party! Come on, donít be shy. I have seen you there
listening in the back. Tune in. Come on. SOUND: TUNE IN.
VONIKKEN: Oh hello! So that is what you look like!
Ya, well. I had some help teaching this lesson. Und I want to introduce you to our cast. Come,
Oh, Zis is Ö. AD LIB, ACTOR: Iím *** and I play YYY and to get
my Ad Gaudia I like to ***. VONIKKEN: Ok. Bye everybody!
SOUND: ROOM IS EMPTY. TIKI MUSIC LEAVES WITH MARVIE. VONIKKEN IS ALONE
VONIKKEN: Oh! Where did everyone go? I am alone! Hey, where is the door? How do I get
out of here. Hey! SOUND: DOOR OPENS.
SAL: Hey VonIkken. VONIKKEN: Oh, ya!
SAM: This way! VONIKEN: Oh. Thank you! Good bye Class. Ad
gaudia! SOUND: DOOR CLOSES
THE END