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>> WELCOME TO "RED EYE."
IT IS LIKE THE MAN WITH THE
GOLDEN GUN IF BY GOLDEN GUN
YOU MEAN A TROUBLING MEDICAL
CONDITION.
DUE TO ANDY LEVY'S TRAGIC
DEATH OF SUFFOCATING UNDER A
LOUNGER WITH 30 POUNDS OF CAT
HAIR THERE IS NO PRE GAME
REPORT.
LET'S WELCOME THIS MERRY BAND
OF JERKS. SHE IS SO HOT THAT
EASY BAKE OVENS CALL HER FOR
CAREER ADVICE.
I AM HERE WITH FOX BUSINESS
NETWORK ANCHOR LORI ROTHMAN.
AND FILLING IN FOR ANDY LEVY
IS SWEDISH GLASS BLOWER
HENRICK VAUGHN SAM YOU SEN.
HE MAKES REPLICAS OF BOWLS AND
BLOWN THOUSANDS OF MALE
MODELS.
AND MY REPULL SILLS --
REPULSIVE SIDEKICK, BILL
SCHULZ.
AND IF HILARITY WAS A CROSS
WORD BUZZ SWREL I WOULD DO HIM
IN BED EVERY SUNDAY.
SITTING NEXT TO ME, JOE
DEVITO.
>> A BLOCK, THE LEDE.
THAT'S THE FIRST STORY.
HEY, GREG, THE MAYOR OF
MUNCHKIN LAND CALLED AND HE IS
MISSING HIS READING GLASSES.
>> NICE.
I WILL TAKE THAT.
HER MESSAGE IS POIGNANT AND
HER DANCERS DOUBLE-JOINTED.
SOME THUPTION GET BETTER WITH
AGE AND THEN THERE IS
MADONNA.
IT IS 17 MINUTES OF FILM
DEDICATED TO ANYONE WHO
SUFFERED FROM PERSECUTION, A
NOBLE EFFORT.
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK WHY, YOU
WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
HAVE A LOOK, FANS OF LOOKING.
>> ECONOMIC MARKETS ARE
COLLAPSING.
PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD ARE
SUFFERING AND PEOPLE ARE
AFRAID.
AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE
ARE AFRAID?
THEY BECOME INTOLERANT.
>> IT IS AS BAD AS IT IS NOT
GOOD.
MORE PLEASE.
>> I KEEP TELLING EVERYONE
THAT I WANT TO START A
REVOLUTION, BUT NO ONE IS
TAKING ME SERIOUSLY.
IF I HAD BLACK SKIN AND AN
AFRO WOULD YOU TAKE ME
SERIOUSLY?
IF I WAS AN ARAB WAIVING A
HAND GRENADE WOULD YOU TAKE ME
SERIOUSLY?
>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
SOMEBODY HAS TO CLEAN THE
TUB.
>> I STILL WANT TO START A
REVOLUTION.
>> WE LIVE IN A VERY SCARY
TIME OR SHOULD I SAY WE DON'T
AT ALL.
>> MIND IS BLOWN. STOP
PLAYING THE CLIPS.
>> A GREAT AMERICAN IN WHOSE
SYMBOLIC SHADOW WE STAND
TODAY.
>> I ENJOYED THAT.
CALL ME, DOUBLE-JOINTED
DANCER.
WHAT DO THESE CATS THINK?
>> ECONOMIC MARKETS ARE
COLLAPSING.
PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD ARE
SUFFERING AND PEOPLE ARE
AFRAID.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE ARE
AFRAID?
THEY BECOME INTOLERANT.
>> SCREW THOSE CATS, JOE.
SOME PEOPLE WILL SAY THAT
FILM, MADONNA'S FILM WAS TOO
SELF-SERIOUS.
I DON'T THINK IT WAS
SELF-SERIOUS ENOUGH.
I THINK THAT IF THERE IS A --
AN OSCAR CEREMONY FOR
17-MINUTE FILMS SHE IS A SHOE
IN.
IT WAS GREAT.
>> I SAY 16 MINUTES TOO LONG.
IT IS NO SHANGHAI SURPRISE.
>> IT IS BRUTAL.
IF I WAS BLACK MAN WITH AN
AFRO WOULD YOU TAKE ME
SERIOUSLY?
IF I WAS AN ARAB WITH A
HAPPENED HAPPENED -- HAND
GRENADE WOULD YOU TAKE ME
SERIOUSLY?
DID SHE REALLY JUST COMPARE
THE TWO?
WE HAVEN'T TAKEN HER SERIOUSLY
SINCE THE CONE BRA.
>> THAT WAS THE GOLDEN ERA.
>> THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DIED
WITH THE HAND GRENADE.
HOW WOULD YOU RAISE THE FILM
ON A SCALE OF ONE TO BANANA
BREAD.
>> IT IS BOUGH BANANA BREAD.
YOU GUYS HAVE SUCH SHORT
MEMORIES.
THIS IS WHAT MADONNA DOES.
SHE PUTS OUT THIS JUNK, THIS
STUFF THAT IS ALL HORRIFYING
TO US, BUT THEN WE REVISIT IT
AND CALL IT GROUND BREAKING.
IT IS LIKE A PRAYER OF "LIKE A
***."
>> THERE WAS "LIKE A PRAYER"
AND " LIKE A ***."
>> THERE WAS ONE THAT OFFENDED
THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.
>> BOTH.
"LIKE A PRAYER" AND" LIKE A
***."
>> WE SAY HOW COULD SHE?
BUT BECAUSE SHE IS 55 YEARS
OLD AND SHE HAS BEEN AROUND
THIS LONG WE SAY SHE STARTED
SOMETHING.
SHE WAS ON TO SOMETHING.
>> IT IS AMAZING SHE IS 55.
SHE DOESN'T LOOK A DAY OVER
54.
>> IT IS THE LIGHTING.
>> ANDY, YOU CALLED THE FILM
MOVING AND IMPORTANT.
CAN YOU ELABORATE?
>> IT MOVED ME TO THE BATHROOM
WHERE IT WAS IMPORTANT I ***
MY HEAD AGAINST THE MIRROR
OVER AND OVER UNTIL I FORGOT I
HAD SEEN THE FILM.
THAT WAS GOOD.
IT IS GOOD SHE DEDICATED THE
FILM TO THE VEHICLE TIMES OF
PERSECUTION -- TO THE VICTIMS
OF PERSECUTION.
>> I WROTE THAT JOKE DOWN FOR
MYSELF.
YOU USED THAT JOKE.
>> THIS IS ONE OF THOSE
THINGS.
IT IS A WEIRD COMBINATION OF
PRE TEPTION -- PRE TENSION AND
CHILDISHNESS.
THEY STARTED TO SOUND LIKE
COLLEGE FRESHMEN.
WE HAD A MULTIMILLIONAIRE
SINGER TALKING ABOUT HOW TOUGH
IT IS TO BE AN ARTIST IN THIS
WORLD.
IT JUST DOESN'T CUT IT.
>> DOES SHE HAVE A CLUE ABOUT
WHAT PEOPLE ARE GOING
THROUGH?
>> BILL, YOU ARE ACTUALLY THE
MANHATTAN PRESIDENT OF THE
MADONNA FAN CLUB.
YOU ARE ALSO DISGUSTING.
>> NOT NEEDED.
>> DO YOU CARE TO RESPOND TO
THESE ATTACKS ON YOUR HERO?
>>-
Q. I A --
>> A SLOW CLAB.
>> BRAVA.
THE FACT THAT YOU DIDN'T GET
AT ME WORKED.
IT IS CALLED SECRET REVOLUTION
PROJECT AND NOT SECRET
REVOLUTION PROJECT.
SECRET REVOLUTION PROJECT IS
ONE WORD.
HAVE YOU HEARD OF THAT?
I VNTD.
I HAVEN'T.
SECOND OF ALL, WOULD YOU TAKE
SOMEONE, PERHAPS AN ARAB, WITH
A HAND GRENADE SERIOUSLY?
>> I THINK YOU WOULD.
>> AND WHO MAKES THE 17-MINUTE
MUSIC VIDEO WITHOUT MUSIC?
THE ANSWER WOULD BE OF COURSE
NO ONE APART FROM THE MATERIAL
GIRL.
TRULY I HAVE SEEN THE JOKE AND
IT IS ALL OF YOU GUYS.
>> SHE SEEMS LIKE SHE IS
TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH LADY
GAGA WHO HAS BEEN FOR ABOUT 18
MONTHS NOW.
MADONNA HAS GOTTEN AWAY WITH A
LOT OVER HER 60-YEAR CAREER,
BUT SHE CAN'T AFFORD TO BE
BORING.
IF I WATCH MORE THAN 30
SECONDS OF THAT IT IS
PAINFUL.
>> 6 MINUTES AND 45 SECONDS I
MADE IT THROUGH.
>> SHE SHOULD RELAX AS BEING
THE ELDER STATES WOMAN.
IT IS LIKE THE HILLARY CLINTON
OF POP MUSIC.
THAT'S WHAT SHE COULD BE --
JUST RELAX.
ENJOY.
IT -- SHE CAN STILL RECORD.
SHE STILL HAS A VOICE.
AND LADY GAGA HAS TAKEN IT
OVER.
YOU HAVE MILEY CYRUS WHO IS
WORKING HER WAY INTO THE
ROTATION.
>> I LOVE THE WAY -- MA
MADONNA HAS SPENT MOST OF THE
CAREER SELLING SEX.
AND NOW SHE IS UPSET SHE IS
NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY BECAUSE
PEOPLE THINK ABOUT SEX WHEN
THEY WATCH HER.
>> THAT IS SO TRUE.
>> I DON'T LIKE THAT, GREG.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT IT DOES?
IT SMACKS OF HUH POKE CRAW
SEE.
>> AND IT SMACKS OF BOREDOME.
>> ARE YOU BOARD WHEN YOU HAVE
TO THINK.
WELL PLAYED, M MADGE.
>> AT LEAST SHE WASN'T
TWERKING.
IT WOULD HAVE SOUNDED LIKE
BUBBLE WRAP.
>> WITH HIS CONDITION DIRE
THEY PUT IT HIGHER.
A CHINESE MAN'S SNIFFER WAS
WAS BAD DE DAMAGED AND DOCTORS
DECIDED TO GROW A NEW NOSE ON
HIS FOREHEAD.
A WARNING, THIS IMAGE IS
GRAPHIC.
IF YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN IN
THE ROOM I SUGGEST YOU MOVE
THEM CLOSER TO THE TV SO YOU
CAN SEE IT BETTER.
IT WILL EVENTUALLY REPLACE THE
ORIGINAL ASKING HEM TO REGAIN
THE GIFT OF SNIFF.
DOCTORS USED HIS FOREHEAD SKIN
BECAUSE IT IS CLOSE -IT IS
THE CLOSEST MATCH OF THE SKIN
ON ITS NOSE AND IT IS
FUNNIER.
THEY TOOK CARD LIG FROM THE
RIB TO GIVE IT STRUCTURE.
MORE OF A CONCERN IS WHAT THEY
WILL DO WITH HIS BLURRY FACE.
AS FOR HIS OLD NOSE IT WILL BE
CAISSON TO CHRIS CATTAN.
FOR MORE WE WILL GO TO THE
SENIOR RED EYE MEDICAL
CORRESPONDENT.
I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW HE
PAID FOR IT.
>> I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST
HIM.
HE OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T PAY FOR
THAT.
YOU KNOW THERE ARE MAKERS AND
TAKERS.
HE IS DEFINITELY A TAKER.
IT IS PART OF OBAMA'S AMERICA
AND THAT IS -- I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT THAT WAS.
>> I THINK IT IS DOWN TO 43%.
>> WE WERE JUST JOKING.
>> WE DON'T NEED YOUR FACTS.
>> YOUR FACTS MEANON THING ON
"RED EYE."
THIS IS A MAGNIFICENT
ADVANCEMENT.
THEY ARE LIKE SALAMANDERS AND
THEY CAN GROW NEW HEADS.
>> IT IS FANTASTIC TECHNOLOGY
AND THERE WILL BE APPENDAGES
GROWING OUT OF ALL PARTS OF
YOUR BODY IT IS FANTASTIC.
DID YOU KNOW THAT "TWILIGHT
ZONE" EPISODE WHERE THE
WOMAN'S FACE IS BAN --
BANDAGED UP.
THE DOCTORS HAVE THESE HIDEOUS
FACES.
>> HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
>> IT IS A NEW ELEMENT OF
BEAUTY THAT I THINK --
>> I AM TALKING ABOUT "THE
TWILIGHT ZONE."
>> AT FIRST PEOPLE WERE
PRETTY.
>> THEY LOOK LIKE PIGS.
>> HOW DID THEIR FACE LOOK
WHEN THEY WERE LOOK AT HER?
EVERYONE ON THE PLANET LOOKED
LIKE PIGS AND THEY THOUGHT SHE
WAS HIDEOUS.
>> SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL IN THE
BEGINNING.
OH MY GOODNESS, THAT IS A
TWIST.
NOW I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO SEE
THAT.
THAT "TWILIGHT ZONE" SHOW IT
IS ALL TWISTS.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT MY FAVORITE
IS?
"TO SERVE MAN."
>> IT IS A COOK BOOK.
>> WHAT ABOUT THE ONE WITH THE
TWIST AND A CHUBBY CHECKER
CAMEO.
CRAZY.
>> JOE, AFTER LORI POTENTIALLY
RUINED THE SEGMENT BY TALKING
ABOUT ANOTHER SHOW, GROWING
BODY PARTS, OKAY, I BELIEVE
THAT LIKE PLASTIC SURGERY, IT
WAS A MEDICAL NECESSITY FOR
DEFORMITIES AND BURN VICTIMS
AND THEN IT WAS PART OF A
COSMETIC MOVEMENT WHERE PEOPLE
GET *** AND NOSE JOBS.
THIS WILL GO THAT WAY.
I BELIEVE IT WILL BE LIKE BODY
ART WHERE PEOPLE WILL HAVE AN
EAR ON THEIR BACK AND EYEBALL
ON THEIR CHIN AND *** ON THE
NECK.
>> I LIKE HOW THEY PICKS SILL
LATED HIS -- PIXILATED HIS
FACE.
OH, YOU MEAN THE GUY WITH THE
NOSE ON HIS FOREHEAD?
>> IT MAY BE THE OTHER GUY
WITH THE FOREHEAD ON HIS
NOSE.
>> I THINK THE DOCTORS ARE
DOING TRICK SHOTS JOY DO YOU
THINK THE STORY IS REAL?
>> MY CHINESE IS NOT GREAT,
BUT --
>> GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT.
>> [SPEAKING CHINESE].
ABOUT THE MAN WITH THE NOSE ON
HIS FOREHEAD.
AND THAT IS A TRANSLATION OF
HOW DOES HE SMELL?
TERRIBLE.
>> I THOUGHT YOU REALLY KNEW
>> THAT IS ACTUAL CHINESE.
>> CAN YOU READ CHINESE?
>> NO, I GOT THAT OFF GOOGLE.
>> BY THE WAY, I AM GLAD --
>> IT IS LIKE SOME COMEDIANS
YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY DO A
CHINESE ACCENT WHEN DOING
THAT.
>> WELL, TAKE BACK THE
UNHACKINESS.
>> IF YOU COULD BE DONE YOU
CAN HAVE CAT WHISKERS.
DO YOU WANT CAT WHISKERS?
>> I DO NOW.
>> I HATE THESE STORIES.
IT IS GREAT THAT THE DOCTORS
ARE ABLE TO DO THIS, BUT I
CAN'T LOOK AT PICTURES OF
THINGS THAT ARE WRONG.
IT IS IN A SENSE OF LOOK -- OF
LOOKING --
>> IT IS A BABY WITH TWO HEADS
AND A DOG WITH THREE LEGS AND
BARELY 5 FOOT 5.
IT MAKES ME ABSOLUTELY
NAUSEOUS AND DISGUSTED AND I
CAN'T LOOK AT THEM.
I FEEL PITY FOR THEM MIXED
WITH ANGER AND A LOT OF
SORROW.
BUT I SHOULDN'T BE SUBJECTED
TO THAT.
>> THE WHOLE POINT WAS TO RAG
ON ME.
>> YOU ARE FINE WITH CHICKS
THAT ARE 3.2.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT
MEANS.
>> YOU ARE 3 FOOT 2.
THOSE ARE STILL LET TOE HEELS
SSMENTS. SSMENTS-- THERE IS ONEG
THOUGH.
YOU COULD LITERALLY HAVE EYES
ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD.
>> WITH YOUR MASSIVE ***
HABIT, THINK OF THE TIME SAVED
YOU COULD DO TWO LINES OF
COKE.
>> THERE WAS A TIME WE GLOSSED
OVER THAT.
>> THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY
TIMES YOU GO BACK TO THE
WELL.
IT WAS NOT FOR THAT REASON
WHICH WAS ABSOLUTELY A LIE.
IT IS A CHARACTER.
BUT I HAVE BROKEN MY NOSE
THREE TIMES.
I HAVE ONE MORE BREAK FROM
HAVING SOMETHING THAT WILL NOT
BOUNCE BACK.
I LIKE THE IDEA OF HAVING A
POSSIBILITY OF HAVING ANOTHER
NOSE I CAN PUT ON MY FACE
HOLE.
THEN I SAW THE NOSE.
AND IT IS NOT GOOD.
THEIR ARMS LOOK LIKE THEIR OLD
ARMS.
THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING
ZIGGY WOULD WEAR.
>> CURIOUS SIDE POINT, WHY WAS
YOUR NOSE BROKEN THREE TIMES.
>> I WAS IN A LOT OF FIGHTS.
>> WHY WERE YOU IN A LOT OF
FIGHTS.
>> RED SOX FANS DON'T LIKE
WHITE SOX FANS.
>> IT IS FAIR TO SAY WHEN THE
CARTILAGE HAS BEEN WEAKENED
THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE IT IS
EASIER TO BREAK.
>> WHEN IT IS HIT A LOT, YES.
HI, MOM.
>> I THINK THIS IS FANTASTIC.
THAT MAN IS BRAVE FOR PUTTING
UP WITH THE RIDICULE AND THE
HUMILIATION.
I THINK YOU ARE A HERO.
I WANT TO GROW A NODE ON MY
HEAD .
JUST A NODE THAT -- I AM 5
FOOT 5.
JUST TO GET ME UP TO 5 TOOT
9.
I WANT A FOUR INCH NODE ON MY
HEAD.
>> YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A
SNORK.
>> YES.
THAT WAY YOU CAN SAY HOW TALL
ARE YOU?
5 FOOT 9, 5 FOOT 10.
AND YOU COULD CHANGE THE
NODE.
>> I THINK THIS IS PROMISING
TECHNOLOGY.
ORGAN GENERATION.
>> IT IS FANTASTIC.
>> THERE WAS A SUMO WRESTLER
WHO WAS UNDER THE HEIGHT
REQUIREMENT SO HE GOT SILICON
STUFFED UNDER TO GIVE HIM A
LUMP ON HIS HEAD.
>> THAT'S SICKENING.
>> IT IS AMAZING AND
DEPRESSING FOR PEOPLE LIKE US
WHO WILL BE DEAD -- EVERYONE
WILL HAVE THEIR OWN EXTRAS.
IT IS LIKE WHEN YOU BUY A DOLL
AND THERE IS EXTRA STUFF, ALL
OF THE PEOPLE WILL HAVE EXTRA
STUFF TO PICK AND CHOOSE
FROM.
>> LIKE MR. POTATO HEAD.
>> YES, EVERYBODY WILL BE
MR. POTATO HEAD.
ONCE THEY FIGURE OUT HOW TO
CURE ALZHEIMER'S SO YOU DON'T
GET DEMENTED IT WILL BE 250,
300.
>> THAT IS A TWILIGHT ZONE.
YOU WILL HAVE AN EXTRA PERSON
TO HARVEST EVERYTHING WITH.
THAT PERSON WILL BE
MISERABLE.
BILL, YOU COULD BE THAT
PERSON.
>> IT WAS A BAD BRUCE WILLIS
MOVIE.
>> HE HAD BAD HAIR.
THE WORSE BRUCE'S HAIR IS.
>> WHAT ABOUT THE ONE HE WORE
A HAT A LOT?
>> THAT IS THE RETURN OF
BRUNO.
>> THE ONE WITH SARAH JESSICA
PARKER.
>> THEY ARE IN A BOAT WITH
PHILLY?
>> THE REVENGE OF THE COAST
GUARD.
>> I THINK IT IS REVENGE OF
THE COAST GUARD TWO.
IT WAS CALLED "THE
RETURNING."
>> THE REC CONINGER.
>> WE MISSED THE NEXT STORY
BECAUSE OF IT.
COMING UP, WHERE SHOULD YOU
INVEST YOUR MONEY?
LORI ROTHMAN DISCUSSES HER
LATEST BOOK, I LEARNED
EVERYTHING I KNOW FROM A WISE
TURTLE. AND WHY DID AN ENTIRE
HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL TEAM GET
SUSPENDED?
DO THEY NEED A PLACE TO STAY?
>>> THEY LOST THEIR JERRIES --
JERSEYS FOR ACTING LIKE
JERKIES.
THEY WERE ALL SUSPENDED FOR
BAD OFF THE FIELD BEHAVIOR.
AFTER A LOSS ON FRIDAY NIGHT,
UNION HIGH SKIPPER TOLD THE
SQUAD TO TURN IN THEIR
UNIFORMS.
HE SAID THE SEASON WOULD BE
OFF UNLESS THEY EARNED THEIR
WAY BACK ON TO THE TEAM.
IT SOUNDS LIKE THE BEGINNING
OF A WEIRD MOVIE.
YOU HAVE TO EARN YOUR WAY
BACK.
ANYWAY, --
>> THAT WAS THE NAME OF THE
MOVIE.
>> EARN YOUR WAY BACK. HE WAS
UPSET OVER REPORTS OF HIS
PLAYERS SKIPPING CLASS AND
PULLING BAD GRADES AND
CYBERBULLYING A STUDENT.
LET'S LISTEN TO THE COACH.
>> IT IS AN HONOR TO PUT ON
YOUR SCHOOL'S JERSEY.
I THINK WE LOSE THAT FACT THAT
IN THIS WORLD OF ME, ME, ME,
WE ARE REPRESENTING THE WHOLE
SCHOOL AND THE WHOLE
COMMUNITY.
>> GOOD FOR HIM.
THIS IS THE ONLY FALL SPORT I
ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT.
>> INSIDE THAT BALL IS ANDY
***.
>> THAT WAS A GIANT BALL.
>> IT WAS A GIANT BALL.
>> IT IS AMAZING.
THAT WILL BE GOING ON TOUR
SHORTLY.
JOE, ALL WEEK THE TEAM HAS
BEEN DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE.
THEY HAVE BEEN ATTENDING STUDY
HALL AND GOING TO CLASSES ON
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.
I THINK THIS IS A GOOD -- A
GREAT IDEA.
>> I THINK IT IS A GOOD THING
THE COACH DID. I THINK IT IS
GOOD STUDENT ATHLETES LEARN AT
THE HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL THAT BAD
GRADES, BAD BEHAVIOR AND POOR
SPORTS MAN SHIP, THEY HAVE TO
ADDRESS THAT.
THAT'S NOT TOLERATED AT THE
COLLEGIATE LEVEL.
THEY WILL NOT PUT UP WITH
THAT.
>> YOU KNOW, WHAT, HE IS DOING
THEM A FAVOR.
AS ANYBODY KNOWS KIDS IN HIGH
SCHOOL PLAYING SPORTS THEY
THINK THIS IS HOW IT WILL BE
FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE.
THEY CAN GET PRIVILEGES AND
LEAVE CLASS EARLY.
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY
REALIZE WHEN THEY GET TO A
REAL COLLEGE THAT THEY ARE NOT
1% AS GOOD AS THE PEOPLE ON
THE TEAM.
THEN THEY ARE GONE AND SITTING
THERE AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO SO THEY GO TO A JUNIOR
COLLEGE AND HANG OUT THERE FOR
AWHILE.
>> NOT TO SOUND CORNY, BUT I
THINK THAT'S WHAT ATHLETICS IS
SUPPOSED TO TEACHERS AND YOU
THINGS LIKE, WOULDING HARD AND
APPLYING YOURSELF -- WORKING
HARD AND APPLYING YOURSELF AND
YOU DON'T LEARN IT IS
SOMETHING YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO
ANY OF THOSE THINGS.
>> BILL I ASSUME YOU DISAGREE
WITH THIS COACH?
>> I DO.
HE ISN'T CALLED NICE GUY JOE
GREEN.
HE IS CALLED MEAN JOE GREEN.
THEY LIKE TO DO CHARITY AND
THEY ARE THE MONSTERS OF THE
MIDWAY.
IF YOU PLAY FOOTBALL THAT IS
YOUR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO ACT
LIKE A JERK IN EVERY OTHER
PART OF YOUR LIFE.
>> THOSE ARE THE
PROFESSIONALS.
>> YES, THEY GET PAID.
THESE KIDS ARE NOT GETTING
PAID.
>> THEY ARE GOING THROUGH THE
HELL OF PRACTICE.
THEY ARE GETTING BEAT UP BY
BIGGER GUYS AND THEY ARE
ALLOWED TO TAKE IT OFF ON THE
CLASSMATES.
THAT'S PART OF THE DEAL.
>> YOU ARE TERRIBLE.
HIS ARGUMENT IS FOOTBALL
PLAYERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE
JERKS OFF THE FIELD OF THE.
>> THEY ARE ALLOWED TO BE.
THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE.
THE ONES THAT AREN'T ARE THE
QUARTERBACKS AND THEY ARE
GORGEOUS.
>> THE ONES THAT DON'T ARE FAT
CAR SALES MEN.
IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE FEW WHO
MAKE IT TO THE PRO LEVEL, YOU
CAN BE A JERK AND ***
PEOPLE AND IT IS FINE.
THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
BUT MOST OF THEM CAN'T DO
THAT.
THE THING IS HERE, THIS GUY IS
BASICALLY SAYING FOOTBALL IS A
PRIVILEGE AND NOT A RIGHT.
IN EARNING THIS PRIVILEGE IT
IS BEING A DECENT HUMAN
BEING.
IT IS FANTASTIC AND ALL OF THE
TEAM MEMBERS WILL BE MODEL
CITIZENS, AND IT IS HIS
UPCOMING 0-10 SEASON.
>> I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
TO OUR FAT CAR CAR -- CARL
SALES MEN?
>> NOT CARL.
>> WELL, EVEN CAR SALES MEN.
CARE, NOT EVERYBODY CAN BE
JUST LIKE YOU.
>> CAL WORTHINGTON JUST DIED.
HE WAS NOT FAT.
>> I WILL TAKE THIS -- I WILL
TAKE THIS FROM THE COACHING
POSITION.
I THINK IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO
BE TRUE.
SWREAR ROW TOLERANCE IS
GREAT.
TOUGH LOVE IS FANTASTIC.
BUT FROM THE PARENTING
PERSPECTIVE IF I TELL MY KIDS,
IF YOU MESS UP OR IF YOU DON'T
BEHAVE OR KICK YOUR SISTER AND
WE ARE NOT GOING TO DISNEY
LAND.
THEY DO IT ANYWAY AND THEN I
AM CANED OF STUCK LIKE NOW I
SHELLED OUT ALL OF THIS CASH
AND NOW WE CANT GO TO
DISNEYLAND?
>> YOU TAKE ME AND BILL TO
DISNEYLAND.
>> THE DIFFERENCE HERE IS YOUR
KIDS DON'T RESPECT YOU.
THESE PLAYERS THAT LOOK LIKE
THEY RESPECT THE COACH.
>> WHAT GOOD IS THAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING
INSTEAD OF PRACTICING?
COMMUNITY SERVICE.
YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN ON
FRIDAY?
THEY WILL GET SHUT OUT.
HE HAD PLANS THAT WEEK.
>> THIS HAPPENED AFTER A
LOSS.
MAYBE IF THEY HAD WON.
>> IF FOOTBALL PLAYERS WERE
BULLYING SOMEBODY AND THEY ARE
TIRED OF THAT STUFF, THAT IS
AN IMPORTANT THING TO DO.
>> ALL OF THE PARENTS BACKED
UP THE COACH WHICH IS
PHENOMENAL.
>> BUT THE TEAM DID NOT DO
THESE BAD THINGS.
A GOOD PORTION OF THE TEAM
COULD GET A COLLEGIATE
SCHOLARSHIP.
GUESS WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THEY
MISSED A COUPLE OF GAMES.
THEY ARE NOT.
>> I AM SAYING THERE IS A GOOD
PORTION OF THE TEAM THAT COULD
GET COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIPS.
EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE YOU WILL
GET A KID THAT DOES.
>> HE WENT FROM A GOOD PORTION
TO EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE.
>> I HAVE ESTABLISHED THERE
ARE NO GOOD PORTIONS.
THEY ARE ALL MEAN AND TOUGH.
>> MOST OF THE KIDS ARE BACK
ON THE TEAM.
>> CAN I ADD BEFORE I GO I AM
STICKING BEHIND THE IDEA OF IT
IS A GREAT IDEA FOR A MOVIE
WHERE -- IT HAS TO BE COLLEGE
AGED WHERE THE COACH SAYS YOU
ARE ALL OFF THE TEAM EXPRU TO
EARN YOUR -- AND YOU HAVE TO
EARN YOUR WAY BACK ON.
>> AND GERMANS DON'T NOAH LOT
ABOUT AMERICAN FOOTBALL.
>> THEY SAY WHAT DOES THIS
ENTAIL AND THEN THE MUSIC
STARTS.
>> WE ARE A FAMILY SHOW.
>> WHAT IS BETTER TO INVEST
IN?
GOLD OR SILVER.
LORI ROTHMAN DISCUSSES A NEW
BOOK.
I PUT ALL OF MY MONEY IN A
BUCKET I BURIED DOWN BY THE
CREEK.
>> WAY TO TELL EVERYONE.
>> I DIDN'T SAY WHAT RIVER.
HOW MUCH MONEY DID THE IRS
LOSE FROM AN OBAMACARE FUND?
DOES IT MATTER AT THIS POINT?
THIS COUNTRY IS GOING TO HELL
IN A HAND BASKET.
I LOVE A HAND BASKET.
>>> THEY TOOK 67MIL FROM THE
TIL.
>> VERY CLEVER.
I AM GIVING YOU COMPLEMENTS.
>> IT IS JUST A RHYME, LORI.
>> I WANT TO HEAR MORE OF
THIS.
THERE WAS A SMALL AMOUNT OF
MONEY THAT WAS A SLUSH FUND TO
IMPLEMENT OBAMACARE.
IT TOTALED 1 BILLION AND USED
FORREN MORSE MEANT
PROCEDURES.
ACCORDING TO AN AUDIT BY THE
TREASURY GENERAL, THE IRS
DIDN'T KEEP TRACK OF WHERE IT
ALL WENT AND WHY WOULD THEY?
IT IS NOT $67 MILLION OF OUR
MONEY.
>> LIGHTNING
ROOOOOOUUUUUNNNNNNN D.
>> LIGHTNING ROUND.
>> LORI, WHEN SOMETHING IS
CALLED A SHRUB FUND WHAT DOES
IT MEAN -- SLUSH FUND AND DOES
THAT NOT INVITE CORRUPTION?
WHAT GOVERNMENT AGENCY WHICH
IS OUR MONEY, WHAT IS IT ABOUT
HAVING A SLUSH FUND?
>> YOU READ THAT THE IRS USED
THIS MONEY TO PROVE WORK
SPACES OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
ALONG THE LINES?
WHAT ELSE COULD GO WRONG WITH
THE IRS.
THIS AGENCY LOST ALL
CREDIBILITY.
THE FACT THAT THE MONEY WAS TO
GO TO IMPLEMENT OBAMACARE
WHICH IS YET ANOTHER
DISASTEROUS LAW, IT IS JUST --
IT IS NOT A SURPRISE.
>> ANDY, THESE ARE THE PEOPLE
IN CHARGE WITH ENFORCING
OBAMACARE.
HOW CAN WE EXPECT THEM TO KEEP
THEIR BOOKS STRAIGHT AND WHY
SHOULD WE TRUST THEM WHEN THEY
ARE AUDITING US.
WE CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE THE
MONEY IS.
>> I AM SO SICK OF YOUR BIAS
REPORTING.
WHO AMONG US HASN'T MISPLACED
$67 MILLION?
LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT
SOMETHING DO THE SOMETHING.
I LOVE THE TITLE OF THE
INSPECTOR GENERAL'S REPORT
HERE.
TRACKING OF HEALTH INSURANCE
COSTS COULD BE IMPROVED.
AND THEN THEY SAY SPECIFICALLY
THEY DID NOT ACCOUNT FOR OR
ATTEMPT TO QUANTIFY $67
MILLION.
BASICALLY THEY DIDN'T SAVE
THEIR RECEIPTS.
>> THAT'S IT.
>> IF THERE IS ONE
ORGANIZATION THAT SHOULD BE
SAVING THEIR RECEIPTS,
PROBABLY THE RECEIPT OWNERS OF
AMERICA OR THE IRS.
>> THIS IS THE THING.
EVERY YEAR THEY COME AND TELL
YOU HOW MUCH MONEY YOU OWE.
IT IS NOT MUCH OF A PROBLEM
--
>> A WRITEOFF.
>> YOUR ENTIRE LIFE IS A
WRITEOFF.
EXCEPT FOR THE WONDERFUL
POCKET SQUARES.
>> DON'T WE HAVE A LEGITIMATE
ACTION AGAINST THE IRS TO SAY
I AM NOT PAYING MY TAXES
BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST YOU?
AND YOU COULD WIN THAT
ARGUMENT.
>> GOOD LUCK WITH WINNING THAT
MRG EPT.
ARGUMENT.
IT SHOWS THAT THAT'S WHY A LOT
OF PEOPLE DON'T WANT
GOVERNMENT INTRUSION IN THEIR
LIVES BECAUSE IT IS
INCOMPETENT.
ISN'T SLUSH FUND A SECRET
WORD?
OH A SLUSH FUND.
AND ALSO YOU CAN'T -- HOW DO
YOU NOT MANAGE A SLUSH FUND?
ISN'T IT BY NATURE A LOOSEY
GOOSY KIND OF THING?
>> A SLUSH FUND IS $35 AND
FIVE'S AND ONE'S.
>> IT IS PETTY CASH.
SOMEBODY NEEDS TO GET ASPRIN
OR A HOT DOG AT 7-ELEVEN AND
YOU GO TO THE PETTY CASH AND
YOU ALWAYS PAY IT BACK.
>> SLUSHY FUND.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, I MISSED THE
JOKE.
>> I AM NOW BEING TOLD IN MY
EAR YOU WILL PROBABLY NOT WIN
THAT ARGUMENT IF YOU DON'T PAY
YOUR TAXES.
>> HOW ARE YOU GETTING THIS
GREAT STUFF IN YOUR EARS?
I AM NOT GETTING ANYTHING.
>> YOU SHOULD GET THEM
CLEANED.
BILL LIKE THE FEELING IN YOUR
ARMS AND LEGS, I DON'T THINK
THEY WILL EVER FIND THIS
MONEY.
>> THAT WAS AD-LIBED.
>> HERE IS THE BAD NEWS.
IF THE GOVERNMENT SHUTS DOWN
ON OCTOBER 1st, GUESS
WHICH AGENCY WILL STILL BE
RUNNING.
THAT'S RIGHT, THE IRS.
THAT MAKES ME AS SAD AS THE
FACT THAT THE TRAFFIC
CONTROLLERS WILL NOT BE
WORKING.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THEY WILL.
>> THEY WILL BE THERE.
>> WE HAD A POINT TO MAKE.
>> MAYBE IRS COULD DIVERT THE
FUNDS TO INVESTIGATING A
NONPROFIT.
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JOE
DEVITO.
>> IT IS TO PROTECT LOIS
LERNER.
>> SHE IS OUT.
>> SHE IS A COMIC BOOK
CHARACTER.
>> NEXT TOPIC.
A COMEDIAN WAS ARRESTED AFTER
PUNCHING A DUDE WHO DISCED HIS
ACT ON TWITTER.
HE WAS PERFORMING AT THE
FUNNIEST CELEBRITY IN DC
CONTEST.
DAILY BEAST COLUMNIST WAS
TWEETING ABOUT IT.
ROGIN SAID HE WAS FUNNY UNTIL
HE DUSTED OFF HIS 2005 JOKES
IN A GWB IMPRESSION.
A FEW MINUTES LATER HE SAID
HIS UMTEENTH JOKE ABOUT HOW
ASIANS CAN'T DISTINGUISH
BETWEEN THE LETTERS L AND R.
ELECTION, ***, WE GET
IT.
AFTER THE ROGIN TWEET, I WAS
JUST PUNCHED IN THE FACE.
NOT A JOKE.
HE HIT HIM THREE TIMES.
HE WAS ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT
AND ALSO FOR A REALLY BAD ACT,
I GUESS.
>> ALLEGEDLY.
>> JOE, ISN'T IT SAD THAT A
COMEDIAN IS CHECKING HIS
TWEETS?
>> I AM WRITING THE ELECTION,
*** JOKE.
>> THIS IS A TOUGH ONE.
>> TOUGH ONE IS A FELLOW
COMIC.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT IS GREAT
ABOUT THIS?
HE PUNCHED SOMEBODY ON
TWITTER.
HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD LIKE TO
DO THAT?
>> SOMEBODY WRITES YOU SUCK
AND THE GUY IS RIGHT OVER
THERE AND PUNCHES YOU IN THE
FACE.
>> THEN YOU ARE JUSTIFYING IF
SOMEBODY DOESN'T LIKE THE JOKE.
THAT'S NOT THE WAY MATURE
PEOPLE HANDLE THINGS.
I THINK WHEN HE DID TWEET YOU
COULD PUT NOT A JOKE AFTER
ANYTHING INVOLVING HIM.
I CAN'T HAVE THIS PLATFORM AND
NOT ADVISE EVERYONE.
IT SHOULD BE BETWEEN HIM AND
THE COMEDIAN.
GOOGLE HIM AND GOOGLE THE NAME
OF ANOTHER COMIC NAMED JL --
JLCAUVAN.
THAT WILL GIVE THE BACKGROUND
YOU NEED TO KNOW.
>> ARE YOU SUGGESTING
SOMETHING?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE LEGAL
RAMS ARE.
YOU KNOW I AM NOT GIVING A
HYPERBOLE, BUT A BONE-FIED
LOONEY TUNES IS A PHRASE I AM
TOSSING OUT.
WHATEVER COMEDIAN CODE THERE
IS NOT TO TALK TRASH, BUT DO A
LITTLE GOOGLING AND THAT WILL
GIVE YOU WHATEVER CONTEXT TO
MAKE --
>> I THINK YOU PUNCHED THE
CODE IN HIS FACE.
>> SHOULD HE HAVE IGNORED THE
TWEETS?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT DRIVES ME
CRAZY ABOUT THIS STORY IS THE
TWEETER.
IT IS THE FACT THAT HE GOT
PUNCHED AND HE TWEETED INSTEAD
OF SOCKING THE GUY BACK.
>> THAT'S A GOOD POINT.
>> WHO DOES THAT?
>> IT WAS SO BAD HE COOPERATE
TWEET.
BUT THE COMEDIAN -- HE SHOULD
HAVE A THICKER SKIN.
YOU COULDN'T TAKE TEASING.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> ANDY, IT SOUNDS LIKE HIS
JOKES WERE OUTDATED.
YOU DID HE DESERVE THE TWITTER
HECKLING?
SHOULD A COMEDIAN BE LESSONS
TIFF?
>> THIS WAS NOT A REGULAR
COMEDY SHOW.
I SAW COMEDIANS AFTER THE
STORY BROKE.
THEY WERE NOT DEFENDING WHAT
HE DID, BUT THEY WERE SAYING
IF YOU ARE IN THE AUDIENCE,
DON'T LIVE TWEET IT.
WE CAN SEE YOU DOING THAT.
I POINTED OUT THAT THIS IS THE
CELEBS THING AND THAT IS
TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
IT IS THE ONLY CLAIM TO FAME
AND HE WAS PROFILED IN THE NEW
YORK TIMES BECAUSE HE BOUGHT
HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF
TWITTER FOLLOWERS.
HE HAD LIKE 700 SOMETHING
FOLLOWERS.
HE NOW HAS -- I THINK IT IS
400,000 AND HE BOUGHT PRETTY
MUCH ALL OF THEM.
>> DOESN'T THAT DEFEAT THE
PURPOSE?
>> THERE IS A DISCONNECT
BETWEEN HOW POPULAR I AM AND
HOW FEW TWITTER FOLLOWERS WE
HAVE.
>> CAN WE PLEASE STOP TALKING
ABOUT HIM?
>> LAST WORD TO BILL.
>> IT IS KILLING ME.
>> ISN'T IT BETTER TO HAVE A
SILENT HECKLE ON-LINE?
I FEEL LIKE IT IS THE NEXT
EVOLUTION.
IT IS BETTER THAN A DRUNKEN
BACHELORETTE PARTY WHERE WHEN
THEY SAY SOMETHING IT IS
LIKE -- AH.
THE THING THAT IS BAD ABOUT
HECKLING, BUT THEY ARE
INTERRUPTIING THE SHOW.
IS SOMEONE DOING IT THROUGH
TWEETING IT IS NOT HECKLING.
IF YOU SEE PEOPLE SITTING
THERE TYPING ON THEIR PHONES.
>> I DON'T KNOW IF THE GUY WAS
EVEN IN THE AUDIENCE.
>> HE WAS.
>> I MEAN VISIBLE FROM THE
STAGE.
HE MAY HAVE BEEN IN BACK --
>> BUT THAT IS A DIFFERENT
STORY THAN -- DO YOU GET
ANNOYED IF SOMEBODY IS PLAYING
WITH THEIR PHONE DURING THE
SHOW?
SURE.
DO YOU PUNCH SOMEBODY BECAUSE
THEY DON'T LIKE YOUR ACT?
THOSE ARE TWO THINGS.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I DIDN'T
LIKE, THERE WERE A COUPLE OF
OTHER REPORTERS THERE THAT SAW
IT AND THEY WERE JUST
REPORTING ON OBSERVING IT AND
THERE WAS ONE PREFERENCE WHERE
IT SAYS, SO, JOSH JUST GOT HIT
IN THE FACE.
>> I HATE -- THIS JUST
HAPPENED.
>> AND THERE IS THAT.
AND THEN THERE IS THIS.
STOP IT.
>> WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.
>> THE JOY OF HATE WRITTEN BY
SOMEBODY AT FOX NEWS AND
AMAZON.COM.
>> WILL A SCIENTIFIC FLUKE LET
YOU BE LIKE LUKE?
THEY HAVE STUMBLED TO A NEW
FORM OF MATTER THAT BEHAVES
THE SAME WAY AS LIGHT SABRES
OF STAR TREK AND FOUND A WAY
TO MAKE PROTONS.
I DON'T DO THESE STORIES.
I DON'T DO BORING
SCI-FI-CRAP.
I DON'T DOUGH THEM AND YOU
KNOW THAT.
I AM LEAVING.
>> SERIOUSLY?
>> SWEET.
I WILL DO.
IT UNTIL NOW IT HAS BEEN THE
STUFF OF SCIENCE FICTION.
UNLIKE LASER BEAMS WHICH JUST
PASS THROUGH EACH OTHER, THESE
MOLECULES PUSH AGAINST AND
DEFLECT EACH OTHER LIKE
FREAKIN LIGHT SABRES.
HOW COOL.
WE WILL ALL HAVE THEM.
>> THEY ARE NOT THAT COOL?
I THINK THIS IS A WASTE OF
TIME.
HEAR THEY ARE DEVELOPING
LIGHTSABERS AND WE ARE NOT
DEVOTING THE PROPER
RESOURCES.
>> WE CAN USE THE LAGHTSABERS
TO CUT THE EARS OFF.
>> HERE IS THE PROBLEM.
BY CUTTING OFF THE EARS THEY
WILL NOT BLEED TO DEATH IT
WILL SODDER AND IT WILL NOT BE
BLEEDING.
>> WE WILL CUTOFF THEIR NOSE
TO SPITE THEIR FACE.
LORI, THIS WILL BE THE END OF
SWORD COMPANIES. WHO WANTS A
PLAIN OLD SWORT WHEN YOU CAN
HAVE A LIGHTSABRE.
>> YOU HAVE NOT BEEN TO A
SWORT SHOWED LATELY?
>> DEFINE LATELY.
>> LUGE SWORD SWAPPING.
>> HUGE WHAT?
>> SWORDS. AMAZING.
I THINK THIS IS COOL AND I AM
TOTALLY WITH YOU.
DON'T YOU THINK IT WILL OPEN
UP ANOTHER GUN CONTROL
DEBATE?
LAST I CHECKED HE IS NOT A
LASER GUN.
>> YOU CAN USE THEM TO CHOP
OFF THE APPENDAGES.
IF HE DOESN'T LIKE HOW IT
COMES OUTLOOKING --
>> WHEN THE LIGHTSABERS AR
OUTLAWED IT WILL BE THE NERDS
WHO HAVE THEM.
>> WE NEED TO DO MORE STORIES
LIKE THIS.
>> AND RUMOR HAS IT THAT
EPISODE SEVEN, MIGHT BE AN --
MIGHT BE IN IMAX.
CATCH YOU ON THE EARLY PAY
LINE.
>> ANY THOUGHTS AS TO WHAT THE
NAME OF THE MOVIE WILL BE?
>> EPISODE 7 A NEWER HOPE.
>> GREG, ANYTHING?
>> NO.
>> WHAT OTHER COOL SCI-FI
STUFF WOULD IT BE GREAT TO
HAVE?
>> ONE OF THE COOLEST THINGS
IS I AM ONE OF THE LEAST NERDY
GUYS ON THE PANEL.
>> LOOK WHRAW DOING WITH
YOUR -- LOOK WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH YOUR THUMBS AND
ANSWER THAT AGAIN.
>> YOU GUYS AND YOUR
BROMANCE.
SINCE GREG HAS GIVEN UP ON
THIS STORY I WILL READ THE
TEASE.
HAVE A COMMENT ON THE SHOW
1234 E-MAIL US.
HAVE A VIDEO OF YOUR ANIMAL
DOING SOMETHING?
CLICK ON IS UP MITT A VIDEO
AND WE -- CLICK ON SUBMIT A
VIDEO AND WE MAY USE.
IT AND NEXT UP SOMETHING THAT
MAY OR MAY NOT INVOLVE GREG.
>>> I WILL BE ON THE O'REILLY
FACTOR ON FRIDAY AT 8:00 P.M.
EASTERN.
BILL WILL BE ON HUCKABEE.
I AM A LITTLE SCARED. AND
DON'T FORGET A NEW "RED EYE"
WILL AIR ON SATURDAY.
WE HAVE JED JEDEDIAH JEDEDIAH
BILA ON THE LEFT AND
CONSTANTINE, THE GORGEOUS MAN
ON THE RIGHT.
TALK ABOUT A BEFORE AND
AFTER.
SATURDAY AT 11:00 P.M. EASTERN
AND 8:00 P.M. PACIFIC.
>> E BLOCK.
LAST STORY.
THAT'S THE LAST STORY.
>> CUTE.
A UK ZOO, IS THERE ANY OTHER
KIND, HAS BANNED VISITORS FROM
WEARING ANIMAL PRINT CLOTHING
BECAUSE IT CONFUSES THE
ANIMALS.
STUPID ANIMALS.
THE SAFARI PARK LAWFNED THE
NEW ATTRACTION -- LAWFNED THE
MU ATTRACTION WHERE THEY WEAR
OFF-ROAD VEHICLES INTO THE
FIELDS.
A SPOKESPERSON SAYS THE
ENCLOSERS HAVE BEEN DESIGNED
TO REP REPLICATE THE FACE IN
THE WILD.
IT IS NO WONDER THEY ARE
GETTING CONFUSED WHEN THEY SEE
WHAT LOOKS LIKE ZEBRAS AND
GIRAFFES DRIVING IN A 7.5-TON
TRUCK.
THIS IS WHY WE EAT THEM.
THEY ARE DUMB, JOE.
THEY ARE JUST DUMB.
THEY ARE DUMB, STUPID ANIMALS
AND THEY CAN'T TELL THE
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ANOTHER
ZEBRA AND SOME HOT LADY IN A
ZEBRA PRINT.
>> THEY SAY IF YOU WEAR ANIMAL
PRINTS THEY MAKE YOU PUT ON A
GRAY JUMP SUIT.
HOW DOES THAT GO OVER NEAR THE
ELEPHANT ENCLOSURE.
HEY, HI.
>> A KATE MOSS ELEPHANT.
JOY THEY THINK THE ANIMALS --
>> THE ANIMAL SEES THE PEOPLE
WEARING ANIMAL COSTUMESES AND
IT AGITATES THEM.
OH THEY LOOK LIKE THE PEOPLE
WHO KIDNAPPED US AND KEEP US
IN CAPTIVITY.
I DON'T KNOW IF THEY ARE DOING
IT CORRECTLY.
>> MAYBE IT IS BETTER IT THEY
WEAR THE STRIPED STUFF SO THEY
DON'T SEE IT IS THE PEOPLE WHO
CAPTURED THEM.
I AM SPECULATING.
YOU ARE A BUSINESS PERSON.
I NEVER WATCHED THE SHOW.
>> GREAT PUBLIC RELATIONS ON
THE PART OF THE ZOO TO
ADVERTISE HOW CLOSE THE ZOO
LETS YOU GET TO THE A
ANIMALS.
>> ACTUALLY SOMEBODY WROTE IT
FOR ME.
>> HERE IS HOW I COME DOWN ON
THE ISSUE.
I WILL NOT WEAR ANIMAL PRINT.
I DON'T WANT THE ZEBRAS
*** ME.
I DON'T NEED TH THAT CLOSE.
>> WHEN DID YOU GET OVER THAT
PROBLEM?
>> THIS WEEKEND WHEN I WAS
CAMPING OUT AT THE BRONX ZOO,
NO JOKE.
I WAS WITH THE FAM AND THE
TENT AND THE POURING RAIN AND
THE SEA LIONS BARKING.
WE WERE ROUGHING IT.
>> ON BLOW UP MATTRESSES NO
LESS.
>> DOES IT MAKE YOU SAD THAT
ALL OF YOUR CLOTHING HAS
PICTURES OF CATS AND YOU CAN'T
GO TO THE ZOO-FARI OR THAT
MAGICAL CAT FARM YOUR PARENTS
TOLD YOU ABOUT.
>> YOU WERE OFTEN RESPONSIBLE
FOR HAVING THEM SENT THERE.
>> UNLIKE LORI I WILL BE
WEARING SEE BRA STRIPED PRINT
TO THE ANIMAL PARK.
BUT THIS SEEMS UNFAIR.
MAYBE THE ANIMALS SHOULD BE
ASKED TO STOP WEARING THE
ANIMAL PRINT.
WHY SHOULD THE HUMANS HAVE TO
ADJUST?
WHEN WE GO DOWN TO THE VELT OR
WHATEVER IT IS CALLED IN
AFRICA WE HAVE TO WEAR
CAMOUFLAGE AND STUFF LIKE
THAT.
WE HAVE TO ADJUST THE WAY WE
LIVE.
IF THESE ANIMALS WANT TO COME
TO LONDON AND LIVE IN LONDON
THEY ARE THE ONES WHO SHOULD
ADJUST THEIR WAY OF LIFE
RVETION.
>> OR GO BACK.
THIS IS OUR COUNTRY.
>> THEY GO TO PLACES LIKE THE
LONDON 1K3* -- LONDON AND THE
BRONX ZOO AND TAKE JOBS AWAY
FROM AMERICAN ANIMALS.
I DON'T THINK SO.
>> HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A CHIMP
WEARING A SUIT?
IT IS FUNNY.
>> I AM PICTURING ANDY
SCURRYING AROUND THE ZOO WITH
A ZEBRA SUIT AND A BULL'S EYE
ON THE BACK.
>> BILL, LAST WORD TO YOU.
WILL THIS REALLY HURT THE ZUBA
INDUSTRY?
>> YOU CAN WEAR ZUBA BECAUSE
EVERYTHING IS BLACK OR WHITE.
DID YOU SEAT PICTURE?
>> WE HAVE TO GO.
>> THERE IS NEVER A WOMAN
DRESSED LIKE THAT.
THE ONE TIME TONY SOPRANO HAD
SEX WITH HER IN THE GORILLA
LINE.
SHE WORE SOMETHING LIKE THAT
IN "THE SOPRANOS" AND THEN HE
*** HER IN THE GORILLA