Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Reynolds: Well, congratulations, Cameron
you've been promoted from the Ministry of Cavities to the Ministry of Sickness.
This is quite a big promotion. We're very impressed with the 5 cavities
that you gave to Oprah Winfrey last quarter.
So we'd like to take you on another very important, high profile mission,
so let's go check out your subject.
[Snap]
[Snap]
Arthur O'Glan is a 23 year old male who's never been sick a day in his life
so please make sure he ingests one of these;
It will make him catch the common cold.
So, farewell and good luck.
[Snap]
[Knocking on Door]
Arthur! I'm here!
Arthur: Wait!
[Sprays with Disinfectant]
Arthur: Would you like something to drink?
Kay: Yes, tea would be great, thanks.
[Arthur Screaming]
Kay: What is it?
Is it your head? Arms? Legs? What is it? Just tell me!
Arthur: It's my elbow!
I didn't sanitize and I-
No! Use the bags!
Kay: Arthur, we need to have a talk...
It's just, I'm sick of this *** retentive bit. I mean, it's all just make believe.
Arthur: No it's not! The world is just so... germy.
Kay: Arthur,
I love you but we don't ever do anything. I mean,
I want to go out, I want to dress up,
I want to kiss you without having to put iodine all over my lips
which I looked up; Iodine can kill you, Arthur!
We can always kiss through the bag...
You will take me out, tomorrow at 8. Take me to a nice restaurant or we're through, Arthur!
Kay: Peg, he just makes me so mad...
Peg: You're dating a germaphobe, hon. What did you think was going to happen?
I know, but he's just so sweet, Peg, except for the whole germ thing.
He needs to get sick. He's never had a cold or anything!
That's because he has no life!
Pegasus! Don't say stuff like that.
Peg: Whatever, I'm out of here. Good luck.
[Snap]
Kay: Ahhhh!
Cameron: I think I can help you.
Are you my guardian angel?
NO! Why is everybody with the angels? Do I have feathery wings?
Kay: Sorry...
Cameron: Forget about it.
Ok, you want Arthur sick, and I want him sick too. I mean,
it's not natural for someone to be that healthy.
Kay: Agreed. I mean,
I've tried everything! I even snuck into his house and coughed all over his sheets...
Wow...
Kay: Yeah...
Cameron: Look, I swear I'm not a bad guy, but, I have this pill...
It'll make him sick, but not really bad. It's just the common cold.
All you have to do, if you want, is slip this into any of his drinks
and it will give him the common cold.
[Snap]
Arthur: Look, I'm here.
Kay: Um, thank you.
Arthur: I can't believe you drug me down here... This place is like a cesspool...
And now I have to go to the bathroom... You know I can't go to a public bathroom...
Well, maybe I can...
Wish me luck...
Kay: Um, no?
[Snap]
Cameron: All 3? What are you doing?
Kay: That's what you told me to do! Cameron: You're only supposed to do 1!
Cameron: He's coming back!
Arthur: That was rough, and now I'm all out of baggies.
Kay: What did you use all those for?
Arthur: It's personal.
[Arthur Sneezes]
Arthur: Oh no!
[Arthur Sneezing and Crying]
Kay: What have I done?
Kay: It's okay, Arthur! I'll take you home! I'll take care of you!
Reynolds: You actually got him?
Cameron: Yeah, it turned out really well.
His girlfriend's taking care of him and he hasn't mentioned Lysol once.
He's so sick he can't care anymore!
Reynolds: Well, because of your outstanding performance we have decided to promote you to the Ministry of Epidemics.
So, here is your first assignment.
Once again, good luck.