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WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU HAVE A SEX TAPE OF ME?
SO YOU FOUND THE TAPE OF ME?
WELL, WELL, WELL.
LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS DO CHECK YOUR EMAILS.
YOU ARE BUSTED!
I SENT YOU AN EMAIL LATE SATURDAY NIGHT
WITH A SUBJECT HEADING, "ANSWER A.S.A.P."
DIDN'T HEAR FROM EITHER OF YOU.
GUYS, I NEED TO BOOK THOSE ROOMS
FOR OUR CONFERENCE IN SANTA FE.
JUST UPGRADE TO THE MESA VIEW ROOMS.
IT'S 49 BUCKS, JUST DO IT.
I'M SORRY I'M NOT A MIND READER.
MINDY, IT WAS SATURDAY NIGHT.
YEAH, WE GET IT.
YOU WERE HOOKING UP WITH A SUPERMODEL.
I WOULD HARDLY CALL THIS GIRL A SUPERMODEL.
I THINK YOU NEED TO BE BOOKING DOMESTIC COVERS
BEFORE YOU CALL YOURSELF A SUPERMODEL.
OKAY, DANNY, WHAT WAS YOUR EXCUSE?
SITTIN' ON YOUR STOOP, PLAYING A HARMONICA?
I LIKE TO SCHEDULE C-SECTIONS FOR SATURDAY NIGHTS.
HOSPITAL'S QUIET.
IT'S REALLY GREAT, DESOLATE.
YOUR WEEKEND SOUNDED REALLY DEPRESSING,
AND YOUR WEEKEND SOUNDED DISGUSTING.
SHE WASN'T A SUPERMODEL.
BUT SHE WAS, YOU KNOW, SHE WAS ATTRACTIVE.
NO, YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND.
BOTH OF THOSE WEEKENDS SOUND BETTER THAN MINE.
I FELL ASLEEP WATCHING THE MOVIE AMELIE.
AND WHEN I WOKE UP,
I HAD SPILLED SO MUCH RED WINE ON MYSELF
THAT I THOUGHT FOR A SECOND I HAD BEEN SHOT.
HEY, AT LEAST YOU'RE HAVING FUN.
THAT'S ALL THAT COUNTS.
HEY, DR. L, MRS. OLSEN IS HERE FOR YOUR 9:30.
AND BE FOREWARNED, HER VOICE IS VERY LOUD.
SHAUNA, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE AND AWESOME.
DID YOU PARTY THIS WEEKEND?
YEAH, I GOT A HOOKUP WITH THIS GUY CARLO.
HE'S THE DOOR GUY AT THIS NEW CLUB.
YEAH, HOW'D THAT GO?
DRAKE SHOWED UP WITH A WHITE TIGER.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THE TIGER LEFT WITH DEREK JETER.
[mouths words]
OKAY, DOCS, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,
I'LL BE ANSWERING PHONES UNDER A DAMP WASHCLOTH.
OKAY, THANK YOU.
SO WHERE WERE WE?
GUYS, I GOTTA GO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THIS CLUB.
OKAY, WHAT ABOUT THE CONFERENCE?
GUYS, I DON'T CARE. I NEED THIS, ALL RIGHT?
JUST PICK THE MESA ROOM.
YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF EMAILS,
THANKS FOR RESPONDING TO MINE THIS WEEKEND.
HEY, MAN, I DON'T WANNA JOIN YOUR TANNING PLACE.
BUT YOU LOOK ORANGE.
THIS IS CREAM OF OAK.
HI.
HEY, TELL ME ABOUT THIS CLUB.
DO A LOT OF GUYS GO THERE?
GUYS WHO SEEM LIKE THEY MIGHT BE EMPLOYED AND STUFF?
[scoffs] YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.
MAKES CLUB ARIA LOOK LIKE THUNDER BAR.
UGH, THUNDER BAR?
KILL ME. AM I RIGHT?
IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
NO. NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
YEAH.
SHAUNA, YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME CLUBBING WITH YOU THIS WEEKEND.
I DON'T KNOW, DR. L.
I MEAN, IS NIGHTCLUB STUFF STILL INTERESTING TO YOU?
YEAH.
LOOK, I MIGHT BE IN MY 30s IN DOCTORS' YEARS,
BUT I'M, LIKE, 22 IN CLUB YEARS.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
GIVE THIS TO ME, AND I WILL LET YOU
SWITCH YOUR DESK AWAY FROM THE AIR VENT.
HEY, CARLO, IT'S SHAUNA.
I NEED TO ADD A PLUS ONE AT THE CLUB ON FRIDAY NIGHT.
IT'S MY BOSS, SORT OF A MAKE-A-WISH THING.
CIAO.
SHAUNA, ARE YOU GOING TO A CLUB WITH DR. L?
OH, YOU CAN'T COME, MORGAN.
MM-MM.
OH, GOD.
HOLD ON.
IF YOU PUT ONE IN YOUR DRINK,
IT COUNTERACTS THE EFFECT OF A ROOFIE.
THE ONLY PROBLEM IS, IF YOU'RE NOT ALREADY ROOFIED,
THE PILLS HAVE VERY ROOFIE-LIKE SIDE EFFECTS.
NO!
WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT?
IT ROOFIES THE ROOFIE.
OKAY, CURTIS EXPLAINS THIS MUCH BETTER THAN ME.
HEY, GOOD NEWS.
I GOT INVITED TO THIS SUPER HOT NIGHTCLUB FRIDAY NIGHT.
OOH, I'M SO JEALOUS.
WHY? COME WITH ME.
WHAT?
(Gwen) I CAN'T DO CLUBS ANYMORE.
THEY MAKE ME FEEL JUDGED AND REJECTED
BY PEOPLE THAT I WOULD NORMALLY JUDGE AND REJECT.
PLUS, THEY'RE SO CROWDED AND LOUD.
I HAVEN'T BEEN TO A NIGHTCLUB IN OVER A DECADE,
AND I'VE NEVER GONE WITHOUT YOU.
WELL, I CAN'T GO ANYWAY
BECAUSE CARL IS TELLING STORIES AND FOLKTALES
AT THE LIBRARY ABOUT OUR TOWN'S HISTORY.
[whispering] AND I PERSONALLY HATE IT.
BUT IT'S A REALLY BIG DEAL, SO I'M VERY PROUD OF HIM.
ALL RIGHT, I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED
IN THIS CONVERSATION. LOVE YOU, BYE.
YOU TOO.
MINDY, ARE YOU COMING TO OFFICE CLUB NIGHT?
COULD I GIVE YOU A FEW THINGS TO KEEP IN YOUR PURSE?
I LIKE TO KEEP A TRIM PROFILE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT OUR CLUB NIGHT?
SORRY, DOC.
I AM SO EXCITED.
I ORDERED A NEW DRESS.
MOM SAYS SHE'S ALMOST DONE SEWING THE SLEEVES.
YEAH.
DR. C, YOU IN FOR WORK NIGHT OUT?
NOT THIS TIME. YOU GUYS HAVE FUN.
[chuckles]
OKAY, WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT'S THAT NOISE?
NO, IT-- IT'S JUST FUNNY TO ME.
PICTURING YOU AT A NIGHTCLUB.
YOU KNOW? IT'S WEIRD.
IT'S LIKE DRACULA ON A BEACH.
OKAY.
I DO.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M IN.
MY GRANDMA HAD THIS SAYING,
YEP.
YOUR GRANDMOTHER COINED THE PHRASE,
I KNOW, RIGHT?
NEVER FINISHED THE THIRD GRADE.
YES!
WHOO!
[upbeat dance music]
- [vocalizing]
♪ ♪
[techno music]
"TAN-TRU."
SHAUNA, IS THAT TIBETAN?
NO, THIS USED TO BE A MANHATTAN TRUST BANK.
A COUPLE OF THE SIGN LETTERS FELL OFF.
IT'S GREAT THOUGH.
NBA PLAYERS HANG OUT HERE ALL THE TIME.
YEAH.
OH, MY GOD. I'M GONNA BE AT A CLUB
YEAH. [laughs]
THIS IS AMAZING 'CAUSE BLACK GUYS LOVE ME.
all: WHOA.
KEEP YOUR RACISM VOICE DOWN. SORRY.
THAT'S NOT RACIST.
IT'S A SCIENTIFIC FACT THAT BLACK GUYS LOVE INDIAN GIRLS.
AND,
BLACK GUYS ALSO LOVE ***, WHICH I HAPPEN TO HAVE A LOT OF.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
SO I'M GONNA WORK MY *** ALL THE WAY TO THE V.I.P.,
THE V.I.P.?
YEAH, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
MORGAN, YOU ARE JOSTLING ME WITH YOUR DUFFLE.
OH, I'M SORRY, DOC. I'M SORRY.
I GOT ALL MY CLUB SUPPLIES IN HERE.
JUST WANNA MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S ORGANIZED.
I GOT THREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF PRESTIGE FRAGRANCES.
GOT MY SUDOKUS TO DO DURING BORING SONGS.
AND THEN CHECK THIS OUT MINDY, MINDY.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, AN EGGBEATER,
SO IN THE MORNING, I CAN MAKE HER AN OMELET.
OKAY, GUYS, JUST LISTEN UP,
SO THERE'S NO MISUNDERSTANDING.
WHEN KNOW WHAT THE SCORE IS, RIGHT, WHEN WE GO INTO THE CLUB?
THAT WE ALL HANG OUT AS FRIENDS FROM WORK.
THIS IS INCORRECT.
SHE'S SAYING THAT SHE'LL BAIL ON ALL OF YOU
THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT, SHAUNA.
IF I DISAPPEAR, DO NOT FIND ME.
IT MEAN THAT I AM EITHER FALLING IN LOVE,
OR I'M GRINDING UP ON SOME GUY,
OR PROBABLY BOTH.
WHOA, DR. CASTELLANO.
YOU LOOK HANDSOME LIKE A YOUTH MINISTER.
OH, THANKS, BETS.
HEY, SOMEONE'S DAD IS HERE TO PICK THEM UP.
HI.
THANKS, SWEETHEART.
OH, YEAH?
HAN SOLO.
'SUP, CARLO?
ME PLUS FIVE.
'SUP, CARLO?
[Timbaland's The Way I Are]
HOW ARE YOU?
♪ YOU AIN'T GOTTA FLAUNT FOR ME ♪
♪ IF WE GO AND TOUCH, YOU CAN STILL TOUCH MY LOVE ♪
♪ IT'S FREE ♪
♪ WE CAN WORK WITHOUT THE PERKS ♪
MA'AM, IF EVERYONE TOOK A BIG DRAMATIC MOMENT
IN THE DOORWAY, THE CLUB WOULD NEVER FILL UP.
LET'S GO.
(Trey Songz) ♪ CATCH ME IN THE CLUB LIKE I OWN THAT [...] ♪
♪ GOT HER DANCING LIKE SHE OWN THAT BEAT ♪
OH, MAN, THERE IS SOME TALENT HERE TONIGHT.
*** TONIC, BOURBON ROCKS,
THANK YOU.
WHAT?
THEY DIDN'T HAVE SANGRIA.
HEY, YOU GUYS, CAN'T HANG OUT WITH YOU TONIGHT.
I'LL TALK YOU LATER-- MAYBE, OKAY?
MM.
NO WONDER THEY CALL IT THE MEATPACKING DISTRICT.
'CAUSE IT'S SO PACKED, AM I RIGHT?
[laughs]
NO, I'M JUST PLAYIN'.
IT'S NOT THAT PACKED. I CAN HANDLE IT.
OKAY.
CAN I OFFER ANYONE
A SQUIRT OF PINK SOAP FROM THE MEN'S ROOM?
I'M OKAY.
GOT IT. YOUR LOSS. SORRY.
♪ THAT'S WHAT I CAME FOR ♪
♪ OOH YOU KNOW THEY FINE UP AND DOWN THE CAROLINAS ♪
DR. REED, WHY ARE YOU STARING AT THAT GIRL?
DO YOU KNOW HER?
NOT YET, BETSY.
I WAS THINKING OF GIVING HER
AN EARLY WEDDING GIFT.
WHY ARE YOU USING THE VOICE YOU USE
WHEN SINGLE MOMS COME INTO THE OFFICE?
[exhales]
♪ LADIES AND THE DRINKS ♪
(Birdman, Lil Wayne, and Mack Maine) ♪ MACK ♪
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHERE YOU FROM?
OH, COOL.
MY COLLEGE FRIEND BRIAN MILLER'S FROM THERE.
WHAT?
I'M JUST GONNA--
I'M GONNA TAKE A LAP.
YAY, MINDY'S HERE.
UGH, MAN, THE GUYS HERE ARE SO AGGRESSIVE.
HERE'S YOUR BOTTLE OF BLUE RASPBERRY SHNAZZLE.
OH, HEY!
OH, I ORDERED IT.
IT LOOKED YUMMY, LIKE WHAT A FANCY ALIEN
WOULD HAVE AT A SPACESHIP PARTY.
I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH.
BETSY, IT'S, UH, $300.
SWEETIE, YOU ORDERED BOTTLE SERVICE.
I THINK THEY POUR THIS STUFF
ON ***-PADS IN COMMERCIALS.
WELL, IT WAS MY MISTAKE.
AND I WON'T LET IT RUIN
MY FIRST BIG NIGHT OUT IN NEW YORK.
I BOUGHT IT. I'LL DRINK IT.
HEY, DANNY, HOW COME YOU'RE NOT DANCING?
I DON'T REALLY LIKE THIS MUSIC.
DO YOU WANT ME TO GO ASK THEM
TO PLAY SOME DOOBIE BROTHERS?
OH, I LOVE THIS ONE THOUGH.
I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL
WITH A COUPLE OF THESE GUYS BACK IN STATEN.
(U-God) ♪ WE AIN'T TRIPPIN', READ THE SENTENCE ♪
THIS IS GOTTA SEE.
♪ YOU DRINKING MUSCLE MILK ♪
♪ HOMEY, YOU GON' GET KILLED ♪
♪ WALKING AROUND LIKE DEEBO ♪
(Betsy) WHOA, DR. CASTELLANO'S AMAZING!
YEAH.
(Betsy) HE'S REALLY GOOD.
HUH?
WHAT?
NO. [scoffs] NO.
THE WAY YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM, I THINK YOU LIKE DANNY.
NO, I DON'T.
WEIRD, IT'S LIKE IF HERMIONE LIKED VOLDEMORT.
I DON'T KNOW THOSE WORDS.
HE MUST BE CRAZY SWEATY.
[muffled music continues]
♪ ♪
GET MY JAM ON.
[toilet flushes]
IT'S YOUR NIGHT. YOUR NIGHT!
OH, THAT'S MY-- THAT IS--
I BOUGHT THAT.
IT'S ALL I GOT, MAN.
♪ STOMP THE ROACH, STOMP THE ROACH ♪
♪ STOMP THE ROACH ♪ [door closes]
♪ ♪
[water running]
THANK YOU.
(Cam'ron and Vado) ♪ IS SEEN OUT OF YOUR JEANS, MA ♪
♪ UH-HUH, LET ME PLACE A SINGLE RIGHT IN BETWEEN, MA ♪
♪ HA, LATE NIGHTS, YOU COULD LET 'EM IN ♪
♪ TELL A FRIEND, TELL A FRIEND ♪
♪ HOW MUCH CHEDDAR SPIN ♪
HEY, SHAUNA.
♪ MOST DEFINITE ♪
♪ WHEREVER MY CREW AT, IT'S MORE DEFINITE ♪
♪ HUH, YOU AIN'T GOT NO WEARS IN ME CASA ♪
♪ MAGGIANO'S, HOPPIN' OUT A BENZ LIKE A MOBSTER ♪
♪ PASTA, PELLEGRINO, PENNE A LA ***, LOBSTER ♪
♪ FILIPINO, TALK IT TO ME PROPER ♪
♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH ♪
♪ WHOA, WHOA, YOU GO, SLIME ♪
♪ IT'S YOUR TIME, SLIME! ♪
♪ PUT YOUR BRACELETS IN THE AIR, AND LET THAT GOLD SHINE ♪
♪ MA, WHAT'S REALLY, WHAT'S GOOD ♪
♪ 'CAUSE IF I GET SOME, HAVE HER SPEAKING IN TONGUES ♪
♪ HUH? LIKE, WHAT YOU SAY? ♪
♪ OH ♪
HEY.
HEY, CAN YOU TALK FOR A SEC?
YEAH.
MY NIGHT'S BEEN KIND OF A BUST TOO.
WELL, THERE'S THIS GUY
EXCUSE ME, MISS?
UM, THAT TABLE HAS REQUESTED
THAT YOU JOIN THEM IN THE V.I.P. AREA.
YEAH.
OH, MY GOD, THOSE GUYS PLAY FOR THE NBA.
OKAY, SHAUNA, I GOTTA GO.
I TOLD YOU BLACK GUYS LOVE ME.
SEE YOU MONDAY.
COME ON.
♪ IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR ♪
♪ ONLY THE FAM HERE, YEAH ♪
♪ WHOLE HARLEM, UPTOWN, WE STAYIN' HERE ♪
♪ YEAH, CHROME BOTTLES, BRACELETS, AND CHANDELIERS ♪
DANNY.
HEY!
WHERE DID YOU LEARN HOW TO DO ALL THIS?
NO, IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY COOL.
WHY'D YOU KEEP IT SUCH A SECRET?
I DON'T KNOW.
MY MOM PUT ME IN DANCE CLASS WHEN I WAS A KID.
IT WAS WORTH IT.
YOU'RE REALLY GOOD.
YOU WANNA GET A DRINK WITH ME?
I'M GOING TO THE V.I.P. ACTUALLY
NICE!
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL GET YOU AN AUTOGRAPH
FROM, UH, MR. J.
DOCTOR.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
[M.O.P.'s Ante Up]
♪ UH, OH ♪
♪ UH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ TAKE MINKS OFF, UH ♪
♪ TAKE THINGS OFF, UH ♪
♪ TAKE CHAINS OFF, UH ♪
♪ TAKE RINGS OFF, UH ♪
♪ BRACELETS IS YAPPED ♪
UGH.
BETSY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I TOLD THE BALD MAN I WAS WITH YOU.
I'M NEVER LETTING YOU GO.
YOU'RE LITERALLY A HANGER-ON.
JUST PLEASE SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN.
SIT DOWN?
RIGHT HERE?
OH, THANK YOU.
JUST UNSUBSCRIBE ME FROM EMAIL NEWSLETTERS, OKAY?
SHOPPING?
NEVER.
♪ I'M JUST LIVIN' MY LIFE ♪
♪ IN A MANSION WITH CARS ♪
♪ HIT THE DANCE FLOOR TONIGHT ♪
THANKS.
I'M TRYING TO GUESS YOUR JOB BASED ON YOUR FIGURE.
ARE YOU THE MISTRESS OF A BLACK CONGRESSMAN?
EXCUSE ME?
RELAX. IT'S A COMPLIMENT.
THANKS.
THIS PLACE IS LIKE MY SECOND HOME.
OF COURSE MY FIRST HOME IS A LOT BIGGER
AND NICER THAN THIS DUMP.
I HAVE A STEAM SHOWER, BUT YOU'LL SEE.
I-I'M SORRY.
IS YOUR UNCLE, LIKE, THE CLUB ACCOUNTANT?
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU--
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT WHICH GUY HERE
GOT ME INTO THE V.I.P.
YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM.
WELL, TECHNICALLY YOU'RE LOOKING PAST ME
AT DANNY GRANGER AND BARON DAVIS.
BUT, UH, FIGURE OF SPEECH.
YEAH.
OH, MY GOD. AMAR'E STOUDEMIRE!
WHAT'S UP, JOSH?
SO GREAT TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
OKAY, GO, GO.
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE. NO, HE'S--
HOW ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH AMAR'E STOUDEMIRE?
FRIENDS? I DON'T KNOW.
BUT WHEN HE ONLY GETS OFFERED 15 MILLION A YEAR,
I'M THE GUY THAT COMPARES IT TO THE TRAIL OF TEARS.
I'M A SPORTS ATTORNEY.
YEAH.
WELL, UM, I THINK SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS
ARE, UH, MAKING EYES AT ME.
AND I THINK WE SHOULD GO TELL THEM
OH, HARD TO GET?
YOU'RE ALL OVER ME.
YEAH, FINE, LET'S--
YEAH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
HI.
WHAT'S UP, MINDY?
(Morgan) YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
[spraying]
(Jeremy) DO WE NOT PAY YOU ENOUGH?
ARE YOU THE BATHROOM ATTENDANT?
DON'T WORRY YOUR GORGEOUS, GIANT HEAD ABOUT THAT.
I GET PAID MORE THAN ENOUGH--TOO MUCH.
HELLO, WELCOME.
WELCOME TO THE BATHROOM.
OH, CAN I SEE THAT SNAP BRACELET?
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
"KAYLEE'S BRIDAL ANGELS."
WHO'S KAYLEE?
SHE'S JUST A--YOU KNOW, A NEW FRIEND.
WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, DR. REED?
YOU A BRIDAL ANGEL?
OR A BRIDAL DEVIL PERHAPS?
GOD BLESS YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MORGAN? JUST LEAVE IT.
WHY IS EVERYBODY SO OBSESSED WITH MY DALLIANCES?
BECAUSE WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS.
AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE THE PEOPLE
THAT HELP YOU AVOID MAKING BAD DECISIONS.
THINK ABOUT THAT.
IT'S SPEARMINT.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME WITH THAT ONE.
I HAPPEN TO KNOW A COUPLE THINGS
ABOUT BAD DECISIONS, OKAY?
I.E. MINE, VIS-A-VIS PRISON.
DAMN IT, MORGAN, I CANNOT HEAR
ABOUT YOUR INCARCERATION RIGHT NOW.
RIGHT.
JUST REMEMBER, YOU GOTTA DO
WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD HERE AND HERE.
OKAY.
HEY, MAN, YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE, LIKE, 45 MINUTES.
YOU OKAY? WHAT'S UP?
(Mindy) OKAY, FAVORITE TOM HANKS ROMANTIC COMEDY.
SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE.
SPLASH.
APOLLO 13 IS A ROMANTIC COMEDY, YOU GUYS?
SHOULD'VE GONE FOR THAT.
THAT IS TRUE NOW.
BARON, WHY DO YOU LIKE SPLASH?
YOU KNOW, THE FANTASY ABOUT GOING UNDERWATER
AND, YOU KNOW, RISKING YOUR LIFE FOR LOVE.
THAT'S REALLY ROMANTIC, BARON.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD THAT SIDE TO YOU.
(Baron) IT'S REALLY JOSH.
HE GAVE ME SOME BOOKS WHEN I WAS A ROOKIE,
AND THAT REALLY GOT MY ROMANCE GAME GOING.
YOU KNOW WHAT, AS A MATTER OF FACT,
JOSH ACTUALLY GOT ME OFF COFFEE.
I'M ALL ABOUT THE GREEN TEA.
TOOK MY GAME TO ANOTHER LEVEL.
RIGHT.
SLOWED DOWN A LITTLE BIT.
YEAH.
(Baron) HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT JOSH?
OH, GOD.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY GUY YOU--
YOU MADE MIXES FOR.
YOU SHOULD MAKE A MIX FOR MINDY, MAN.
I NEVER KNEW THAT THIS IS WHAT V.V.I.P. WAS GONNA BE LIKE.
IT'S PRETTY COOL.
OH, IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER.
WAIT TILL THE AFTER-PARTY.
THE AFTER-PARTY'S WHERE IT'S REALLY AT.
TOUGH LIST TO GET ON, BUT, UM,
I AM THE LIST.
THIS SOUNDS AWESOME.
OH, GOD, BETSY.
OKAY, GUYS, I'LL MEET YOU BY THE EXIT.
I--PLEASE DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT ME, ALL RIGHT?
I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
♪ EVERYBODY HOT ♪
♪ MAKE EVERYBODY HOT ♪
MINDY, YOU LEFT YOUR PASHMINA.
COME TO UKRAINE.
I OWN 16 CELL PHONE STORE.
I GIVE FREE ONE TO ALL MY GIRLS.
OKAY, OKAY, TIME TO GO, BETSY.
IT'S TIME TO GO.
HE SAYS I WON'T END UP LIKE THE OTHERS.
THAT IS HORRIFYING.
LOOK, I'M VERY FLATTERED BY YOUR LESBIAN OVERTURE,
BUT I'M NOT IN AN ADVENTUROUS MOOD.
YOU'RE FINE, YOU'RE FINE. DON'T MOVE--STOP MOVING.
HEY, SHAUNA, HEY.
TAKE HER.
SHE'S LIKE A SACK OF CEMENT.
I JUST CAN'T BE SADDLED WITH THIS ANYMORE, ALL RIGHT?
I'M GONNA GO.
SURE, WHATEVER.
HAVE A BLAST.
[mouthing]
[mouthing]
OKAY, OKAY, WHAT'S WRONG, WHAT'S WRONG?
NOTHING.
IT'S NOTHING.
DANNY? COME ON!
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE BETTER OFF.
I THINK HE'S INTO WEIRD STUFF LIKE BITING.
I BET HE, LIKE, CRIES WHEN HE HAS SEX.
[laughs]
OKAY. THANKS, DR. L.
REALLY?
OKAY. I REALLY WANNA GO.
ARE YOU SURE? OKAY.
I'M GONNA GO. THANK YOU.
OH, MY GOD.
OH, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.
LET'S ORDER A DRINK.
OH, NO.
I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM THE AFTER-PARTY.
APPARENTLY JAMIE FOXX HAS TAKEN CHARGE OF THE PIZZA OVEN,
AND THE TOPPINGS ARE GETTING WEIRD.
JAMIE FOXX, PIZZA TOPPINGS--
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT. THAT SOUNDS AWESOME.
GREAT, PERFECT. COME ON. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
UM--
I...THINK THAT SOUNDS REALLY GREAT.
OH, COME ON.
NO--
IT'S KIND OF A WORK NIGHT OUT.
OKAY, WELL, UM, IT WAS NICE TALKIN'.
YEAH.
WHO KNOWS, MAYBE WE CAN HAVE A ONE-NIGHT STAND SOMETIME.
REALLY?
NO, I MEAN, I WAS JOKING. YOU WERE JOKING, RIGHT?
I WAS JOKING, SO--
BYE.
HEY, I THINK THAT AMAR'E STOUDEMIRE
MIGHT HAVE STOLEN MY PASHMINA.
HE MIGHT HAVE.
OKAY.
[techno music]
YEAH.
OF COURSE I STAYED, YOU GUYS.
I CAN HOOK UP WITH A HOT GUY ANYTIME I WANT.
TONIGHT IS MY NIGHT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU.
OKAY.
DON'T-- DON'T MAKE IT LIKE THAT.
THAT WAS LAST CALL, GUYS.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SETTLE THE CHECK.
OKAY, I JUST NEED TO HAVE MY PARENTS
WIRE ME $300.
BUT FIRST, MY AUNT HAS TO WIRE THEM $200.
OR I CAN PAY FOR EVERYTHING.
MORGAN, WHERE DID YOU GET THIS MONEY?
WAIT, YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T WANNA KNOW.
I BET IT'S GONNA BE SAD OR SCARY.
A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH, DOC.
OH, OKAY, WE'RE DANCING.
YEAH?
WHOO!
WHOO, LET'S BOOGIE!
THIS IS $37.
(Nicki Minaj) ♪ YO, WHAT I GOTTA DO TO SHOW THESE GIRLS THAT I OWN 'EM ♪
SORRY. WE'RE GOOD PEOPLE.
♪ SOME CALL ME NICKI AND SOME CALL ME ROMAN ♪
♪ SKEEZA, PLEEZA, I'M IN IBIZA ♪
♪ GIUSEPPE ZANOTTI MY OWN SNEAKER ♪
♪ SEXY, SEXY, THAT'S ALL I DO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED A BAD [...] LET ME CALL A FEW ♪
♪ PUMPS ON AND THEM LITTLE MINI SKIRTS IS OUT ♪
♪ I SEE SOME GOOD GIRLS I'MA TURN 'EM OUT ♪
♪ OKAY, BOTTLE, SIP, BOTTLE, GUZZLE ♪
♪ I'M A BAD [...] NO MUZZLE ♪
♪ BOTTLE, SIP, BOTTLE, GUZZLE ♪
♪ I'M A BAD [...] NO MUZZLE ♪
♪ LET'S GO ♪
♪ ♪
♪ POUND THE ALARM ♪
ALL RIGHT.
I WANNA HEAR ALL ABOUT WHEN YOU WERE KNIGHTED BY THE QUEEN.
I MEAN, SIR ALISTAIR.
UM, THE THING IS, UH, KAYLEE,
I HAVEN'T BEEN COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU.
RIGHT, OKAY, THE THING IS,
MY MORAL COMPASS HAS STRAYED SOMEWHAT FROM TRUE NORTH.
AND I WOULD LOVE, UH, TO COME WITH YOU, BUT I CAN'T.
WHAT MY FRIEND'S TRYING TO SAY
IS HE HAS CRAZY DIARRHEA. BYE.
UM--
WAS IT NECESSARY TO BE DIARRHEA?
YEAH, DIARRHEA SHUTS IT DOWN, OKAY?
HAVE A SUCKER.
HELLO, LADIES.
AH, LIKE WHAT?
I GOT SOUP IN MY BAG.
TAKE YOUR DUFFEL.
MM-HMM.
UH, MR. DANIELS SENT ME TO TAKE YOU HOME.
AND TO GIVE YOU THIS.
(Josh) I BOUGHT THIS OFF AMAR'E FOR $500.
YOU OWE ME DINNER. JOSH.
OKAY, OKAY.
EVERYONE GET IN THE LIMO.
GET IN THE LIMO.
HOW'D YOU GET A LIMO?
OKAY. OH!
WHAT YEAR IS THIS LIMOUSINE?
OKAY.
(Morgan) DR. L, COME ON.
THIS IS GREAT.
MM-HMM.
I AM AS HAPPY AS THE MUSTACHE MAN ON THE PIZZA BOX.
[laughter]
THANKS, DR. L.
YOU KNOW, BETS, YOU, ME, AND SHAUNA?
WE'RE KINDA THE GIRLS' TEAM IN THE OFFICE.
THE GIRLS' TEAM!
AND MORGAN OF COURSE.
REALLY?
MM-HMM.
WE'RE A TEAM.
I PROBABLY WOULD BE CAPTAIN OF THE GIRLS' TEAM
WHAT?
EW.
YOU JUST GOT DISQUALIFIED.
(Morgan) HOLD ON. NO, NO, NO. DIDN'T LET ME FINISH.
EW.
GO TO BED.