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SFX - Bottles clanging together.
So the retards at Duane Reede jacked up the price of synthetic blood again...
What the *** is going on here?
Hi, Alexis my name is Philip and I'm..
It's Alex
And I know who you are, you threw us out of support group.
what's he doing here Ethan?
I called him Alexis.
***. Alas this is what I'm talking about,
she needs help.
What the *** do I need help with?
Alexis you have anger issues.
And this is an invention.
You have got to be *** kidding me. This is a safe place Alexis.
I'm outta here.
What? Ethan you're right she does run away from her problems.
You're an ***. I didn't say anything.
Not you, him.
Do you see how she projects her problems onto those who were just trying to help her.
Yes connor.
And Alexis that is because you are what we call a self hating vampire.
I am not self hating.
Not a self hating 'what'?
Me. I do not hate myself.
You can't say it can you?
Say it. Jesus Christ Connor.
Close. But he wants you to say 'self hating vampire,' stupid.
Fine. I am not a self hating vampire. Stupid.
Alexis, you are not stupid. All of your friends.
Oh sorry. Both of your friends feel that you have social problems.
Oh, I have problems?
Good. Admitting that is the first step.
Baby steps Al, I'm proud of you.
It's Alex. And this is ***. Connor is just manpulating you to *** with me.
Well uh.... you are kinda of...
Shut it Ethan!
No no no-no Alexis.
Vampires should live in harmony with other humans like Ethan, and not threaten them.
Uh... actually I am a Vampire. Sort of.
Really? Yes, I'm a vampire.
I thought Connor was a vampire.
No. Connor pretends to be a vampire so that he can trick women into *** him.
Oh, it's true.
Well that's a very interesting character choice. And Ethan pretends to be a vampire...is that right.
God damn me.
No Ethan's just a *** vampire.
No, I'm not. You don't even have any fangs.
It's not my fault, I don't know where they are!
I don't have them.
And why is Jobin here? Hello!
Ah yes, the landlord i've heard that he spends an uncomfortable amount of time with you guys.
Sweet heart.
Don't call me sweet heart.
Tell Ethan I don't have his fangs.
God damn me.
Oh, and you should smile more.
I don't have anger problems!
Really?
What the *** are you looking at?
*** vamp tards! SFX - Door slams
Jesus Christ!
What. The ***. Is Mako?
Montage.
Ok, none of that ever happen.
That hasn't happened yet?
No, we're only on the second one.
I get confused.
Let's stop
breaking the fourth wall, ok.
And focus on breaking Alex's
emotional walls, yeah.
Now, this is Cooper, and he's going to be your sponsor.
I feel that Alex and I will make a 'Super Team'.
I do not need a sponsor.
You know, sometimes when i'm afraid of the feelings inside me.
I like to hug!
You touch me, I will rip your fangs out of your *** mouth.
Let me get this straight.
Connor pretends to be a vampire to try to *** women.
No, no, no, no, no...they always *** me.
and no one has a problem with that.
Ethan has virtually no vampiric qualities
no one interventions him.
It's not a choice!
And Jobin.
Hello!
Right. And I'm the one with the problems?
I'm sorry but you are all out of your *** minds.
SFX- Slow Clapping
Good, Alexis, that's step two.
apologizing to those that you've wronged.
IT'S ALEX!
Uh...you ***....
*** vamptards. SFX - Door Slams
She has a long way to go. She won't be alone.
She reminds me of Martha Washington.
She's a very one dimensional character. Oh, don't worry. We have a lot of things planned for her.
Well you'll need support.
Trust me. If we get enough support, I may even get her to show her ***.