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Words have tremendous power over us
You only have to be on the receiving end of
some kind of verbal assault
to know how painful it can be.
But they often pale into insignificance
when compared to the kind of things
that we routinely say to ourselves,
that inner dialogue that runs in the background.
Things like: 'you're crap', 'you're hopeless'
'you're rubbish', 'you're no good'.
I'm Gary Wood, author of
Don't Wait For Your Ship To Come In... Swim Out To Meet It
And these habitual putdowns are
something I call 'concrete galoshes'.
Simply because they're the kind of words
that really drag us down
And the first challenge is to
look for a different kind of language
to describe ourselves
words that build us up
more buoyant words, that I call 'waterwings'
Now when I'm in the classroom
It's inevitable that a student will say, something like
'I maybe thick but could you explain it again'
This is cue for me to say
'No you're not thick'
'It's just that I need to explain it... '
'... in a way you can make sense of of it'
So, the next time you utter a put-down
Say 'Stop!'
Then say, 'I'll rephrase that'
This will help you to look for
some circumstances,
something in the environment,
a situation that's contributing to the result.
Let's use the idea of presentation skills
and how we can change these 'concrete galoshes'
into 'water wings'
So you might say
'I'm crap at presentations'
'I'm no good at presentations'
'I'm useless at presentations'
'I fail at presentations'
That's not going to take you forward
What about if you rephrase it like this?
'I haven't had much experience of presentations'
'I haven't learned the secret of presentations'
You can see that they offer an opportunity for change.
Then you add the magic words...
Up until now
I haven't learned the secrets of presentations... up until now
I haven't had much experience of presentations... up until now
Even, I haven't done very well at presentations...
...up until now.
You can see that the 'crap', 'thick' approach
is never going to allow you any opportunity for change
Whereas the 'up until now' approach, will.
In 'Don't Wait For Your Ship To Come In... Swim Out To Meet It'
I cover the four basic psychological skills
for elite performance
These are relaxation,
creative visualization
goal setting
and the one we've just covered, self-talk
All of these are indispensible
in creating positive lasting change.