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I'LL TELL YA, I'VE BEEN EATING SO MUCH,
MY *** IS, LIKE, CHAPPED RAW.
(tires squealing)
(man) ALL FOOD IS GOOD.
OH, YEAH, I'LL EAT THAT. OH, YEAH, I'LL HAVE THAT.
OH, MAN, THAT'S GOOD.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD THAT IS.
OOH, THAT'S GOOD. YOU WANT IT. YOU WANT IT BAD.
OH, YEAH.
NOW, YEAH.
THAT'S (bleep) GOOD, YOU KNOW? (laughs)
I FEEL LIKE I SWALLOWED A (bleep) BEACH BALL TODAY,
BY THE WAY.
♪ 24 HOURS TO GET BACK TO YOU ♪
(Anthony) IT'S 6:00 A.M.
IN ROME'S FIUMICINO AIRPORT,
ABOUT 20 MILES FROM THE CENTER OF ITALY'S CAPITAL CITY,
BUT IT MIGHT AS WELL BE ANOTHER PLANET.
THIS COULD BE ANY AIRPORT IN THE WORLD,
ANOTHER BLEARY EARLY MORNING STUMBLE.
BUT THE CITY IT SERVICES--
THERE'S NOTHIN' LIKE IT IN THE WORLD.
♪♪
IDEALLY, YOU VISIT ROME SLOWLY.
YOU SIT. YOU STROLL.
YOU TAKE IT SLOW AND AS IT COMES.
YOU DON'T GO TO SEE STUFF.
YOU LET IT SLIP UP ON YOU, ONE PIAZZA,
ONE FOUNTAIN, ONE AMAZING STRUCTURE AT A TIME.
THAT WOULD BE THE BEST-CASE SCENARIO.
BUT IF YOU'RE LAID OVER FOR A DAY OR TWO,
OR MORE LIKELY ON ONE OF THOSE (bleep)-UP TOURS--
FIVE CITIES IN TEN DAYS--
WELL, THERE'S NO TIME TO WASTE.
FIUMICINO AIRPORT HAS THE USUAL ASSORTMENT
OF TRANSPORTATION OPTIONS.
THE EASIEST BUT PRICIER
WOULD BE A TAXI STRAIGHT INTO TOWN TO YOUR HOTEL.
THAT'S A FLAT FARE OF ABOUT 60 BUCKS.
THERE ARE SHUTTLE BUSES FOR ABOUT 15 BUCKS
WHICH SHOULD TAKE ABOUT 40 MINUTES.
BUT TRAFFIC CAN BE UNPREDICTABLE.
I OPT FOR THE EXPRESS TRAIN THIS TIME AROUND.
$20 AND ONLY 30 MINUTES--
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FAST, EFFICIENT, EASY.
BUT HONESTLY, AS I STARE DOWN YET ANOTHER ENDLESS WALKWAY,
I BEGIN TO REGRET MY DECISION.
DON'T TO THIS THING.
TAKE A CAB,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'VE GOT LUGGAGE.
PLUS THIS MEANS I HAVE TO GO THROUGH TERMINI STATION.
WHATEVER YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A BUS, A METRO,
UH, ALSO A TRAM, A TRAIN
TO CROSS THE CITY, ALSO TO CROSS ITALY--
THE CONSEQUENCE OF THIS
IS THAT TERMINI STATION
IS REALLY NEAR TO BE, UH...
HELL.
TERMINI STATION
IS THE MASSIVE TRANSPORTATION HUB OF ROME,
AND IT'S THE CENTER OF SUCK-DOM AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
(man) NO PARKING. BAD TRAFFIC.
BAD, UH, SERVICE.
UH, THE TRAIN ARE...
IT HAS ALL THE CHARM
OF NEW YORK'S PENN STATION,
WHICH IS TO SAY, NONE AT ALL.
WHERE TO STAY? WHERE TO STAY?
I SUGGEST THE CENTRO STORICO,
OR HISTORICAL CENTER OF THE CITY,
SO YOU'RE WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE OF ALL THE GOOD STUFF
THAT YOU WANT TO AT LEAST LAY EYES ON.
HOTELS ARE EXPENSIVE, SO BOOK EARLY
IF YOU'RE SHOOTING FOR LOWER-PRICED PENSIONES,
AS THEY TEND TO FILL UP QUICKLY.
ON THE OTHER HAND, IF YOU WANT TO BLOW IT OUT
AND LIVE LARGE AND PAY BIG-TIME FOR THE PRIVILEGE,
THE HOTEL de RUSSIE IS SWANK-ADELIC, DISCRETE,
AND IT'S RIGHT DOWN THE STREET,
YET COMFORTABLY INSULATED FROM THE SPANISH STEPS.
BUT AGAIN, IT'S EXPENSIVE.
YOU SHOULD KNOW A ROMAN.
IN A PERFECT WORLD, WE ALL WOULD.
I KNOW SARA PAMPALONI, WHO TAKES ME TO BREAKFAST
IN HER CLASSIC 1970 FIAT CINQUECENTO.
(parking brake squeaks, engine revs)
LET'S RIDE.
♪♪
ALONG THE WAY, I GET THE ABRIDGED TOUR.
VIA NAZIONALE IS ONE OF THE MAIN STREETS.
PIAZZA DEL POPOLO. PIAZZA BARBERINI.
CIRCO MASSIMO. ISOLA TIBERINA.
THE SANT'ANGELO CASTLE. VIA DELLE QUATTRO FONTANE--
IT'S THE FOUR FOUNTAINS STREET.
THIS IS THE CANOVA BAR. FELLINI CAME HERE TO HAVE BREAKFAST.
HERE WE GO. SAINT PETER'S.
YEAH.
SO MUCH FOR SLOW MOTION.
SO THIS IS VIA DEL CORSO.
IT MIGHT BE INTERESTING FOR TOURISTS,
BECAUSE THERE ARE LOTS OF, UH, SHOPS.
RIGHT BEHIND THE THERE IS THE FONTANA DI TREVI.
AND YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, YOU COME TO ROME,
EVEN ON A LAYOVER.
THIS IS PIAZZA VENEZIA.
YEAH, EXACTLY. YES.
HE WOULD STAND UP THERE.
YEAH, THERE'S A LITTLE BALCONY OVER THERE.
AND THIS ONE WAS BUILT FOR THE FIRST KING OF ROME.
THAT'S PRETTY DAMN IMPRESSIVE AND HUGE.
OH. (chuckles)
BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE, UH, AN OLD TYPEWRITER.
AND NOW WE'RE HEADING TO THE COLOSSEUM,
WHICH IS, I THINK, ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS MONUMENTS
YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT ROME
IS THAT IN A LOT OF WAYS,
IT'S SMALLER THAN YOU THINK IT'S GONNA BE.
YOU KNOW, I GUESS IN THE STATES
WE'RE USED TO THESE BIG MONUMENTS
AND ANCIENT BUILDINGS WITH A LOT OF EMPTY SPACE AROUND 'EM.
MOST OF THE TIME THEY JUST POP UP AT YOU.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE WALKING ALONG AND THERE--
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S LIKE A CINEMA SET.
♪♪
THIS CAR IS SO TINY,
I FEEL LIKE I'M DRIVING IN A CLOWN CAR.
EVERYBODY'S BIGGER THAN US.
YEAH?
OH, YEAH. BECAUSE IT'S A SYMBOL OF ITALY.
RIGHT.
YEAH.
NATURALLY, A 40-YEAR-OLD CAR CAN BE TEMPERAMENTAL.
AH, AH, AH, AH, NO, SHE DIDN'T.
OOPS. SORRY. PROBLEM.
AND--OH.
(car horns honking)
(engine sputters, starts)
(imitating engine)
GOOD GIRL. GOOD GIRL.
OKAY, BABY, TAKE US TO CAPPUCCINO.
CAPPUCCINO IS BLACK COFFEE
YOU DRINK ONLY DURING THE MORNING.
PLEASE, DO NOT DRINK CAPPUCCINO AFTER 11:00 A.M.
IT SOUNDS STRANGE.
AND DEFINITELY YOU BECOME A TOURIST.
YEAH. CAPPUCCINO THEN? (speaks Italian)
THIS IS BREAKFAST IN ROME--
NO EGGS, NO PANCAKES.
YOU SAVE ROOM FOR LUNCH.
HERE AT PLACES LIKE THIS-- CAFE FAGGIANI
IN THE UPSCALE PRATI DISTRICT,
IT'S CAPPUCCINO AND MAYBE A CORNETTO.
THAT'S IT.
HERE YOU GO-- CAPPUCCINO.
WHAT'S IMPORTANT IN CAPPUCCINO IS THE FOAM.
IT HAS TO BE PERFECT,
THICK LIKE CREAM.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE THE-- THE CREAM ON THE GUINNESS.
YEAH.
AND YOU DRINK IT, AND IT STAYS THE SAME.
DOES SHE?
THAT'S GOOD.
YEAH.
I DO IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
OH, YES. THEY KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT.
GRAZIE MILLE.
DON'T CALL IT CROISSANT.
IT'S CORNETTO.
IF YOU'RE FEELING OVERCAFFEINATED,
MAYBE HIT UP PASCUCCI
FOR THE CLASSIC ROMAN FRULLATI,
THEIR VERSION OF A FRUIT SMOOTHIE,
RIGHT IN THE OLD CENTER.
THE MISTO AMALFI IS THE HOUSE SPECIALTY,
AND IT'S GOOD.
YOU COULD HAVE THAT DELICIOUS, UBIQUITOUS HOTEL BREAKFAST,
I GUESS, BUT YOU ARE SERIOUSLY A (bleep) IDIOT IF YOU DO.
YOU WILL BE NEEDING THAT REAL ESTATE FOR GOOD FOOD,
NOT ROOM-TEMPERATURE EGGS.
AND NOW FOR THE CREAM.
IT'S NOT RUDE TO MAKE A NOISE IN THIS CASE,
SO GO AHEAD.
OKAY. READY TO GO?
OKAY.
LET'S GO THEN.
GRAZIE. ARRIVEDERCI.
WHAT'S A ROMAN SPECIALTY YOU MIGHT HAVE FOR, SAY,
A LIGHT LUNCH OR A SNACK?
WELL, ONE MIGHT HEAD OFF TO THE PIGNETO DISTRICT,
SCORE YOURSELF SOME PORCHETTA.
♪♪
THIS IS I PORCHETTONI,
AND THEY ARE NOT (bleep) AROUND.
IN THIS CORNER WE CAN SEE ANTHONY BOURDAIN
SALIVATING IN FRONT OF A PORCHETTA.
♪♪
OH, YEAH.
HEY, IT LOOKS DAMN GOOD...
IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THAT.
AAH. IT'S GOOD?
MMM.
THE PRIDE OF ROME, PORCHETTA IS A WHOLE DEBONED PIG
STUFFED WITH HERBS, SPIT-ROASTED,
AND GENERALLY SERVED
WITH A PITCHER OF ICE-COLD ITALIAN BEER.
YEP, YEP. IT'S--
I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS.
YOU HAVE IT IN OTHER PARTS OF ITALY...
BUT THIS IS TYPICAL ROMAN.
MMM.
MOST FAMOUS ONE IS FROM ARICCIA,
WHICH IS ONE OF THOSE LITTLE VILLAGES AROUND ROME.
BECAUSE OF THE PORCHETTA.
JUST FOR THE PORCHETTA.
IT'S CALLED PIGNETO.
RIGHT.
AND PAINTERS.
YEAH.
I HATE HIPSTERS.
(speaking indistinctly)
GRAZIE MILLE.
SALUTE.
(sighs)
BEER AND ROAST PIG...
THEY GO TOGETHER SO WELL.
OH, AND THIS WAS JUST A LATE-MORNING SNACK.
I STILL HAVE A LUNCH DATE TO ATTEND.
(clock ticking)
(indistinct conversation)
♪♪
"BUT, TONY, I HATE WALKING."
OR "I LEFT MY SCOOTER AT CINNABON."
OKAY, SLOWPOKE, I FEEL YOU.
IN ROME, YOU CAN FOR 1 EURO
GET 75 MINUTES OF UNLIMITED ACCESS
TO ANY OF ROME'S MANY MEANS OF PUBLIC TRANSPORT--
THE METRO, FOR INSTANCE.
HOWEVER, THERE ARE ONLY TWO LINES.
THEY CROSS THE CITY LIKE AN "X,"
MEETING AT GUESS WHERE? TERMINI STATION.
THERE'S BUSES AND TRAMS ABOVEGROUND--
NOT A BIG DIFFERENCE,
JUST DEPENDS WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
ME, I'M GOING WITH THE TRAM.
GENERALLY IN MY LIFE I'M PICKED UP
BY A LINCOLN TOWN CAR AND TAKEN BEHIND TINTED GLASS
EVERYWHERE I WANT TO GO,
ISOLATED IN A POD FROM HUMANITY
AND ANY POSSIBILITY OF FRIENDSHIP OR--
OR--OR CONGRESS WITH OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.
BUT FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS SHOW,
I WILL PRETEND TO TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.
NO. I'M MUCH NICER.
♪♪
CONVENIENTLY, THE TRAM TAKES ME RIGHT HERE--
THE PONTE FABRICIO,
WHICH HAPPENS TO BE ROME'S OLDEST BRIDGE.
DEEP THOUGHTS.
I TELL YA, I'VE BEEN EATING SO MUCH
MY *** IS, LIKE, CHAPPED RAW.
IT'S LIKE--LIKE (bleep) STEAK TARTARE DOWN THERE.
(bleep) LIKE A (bleep) MINK.
THE TOILET PAPER IN THIS COUNTRY IS NOT THE FLUFFIEST.
IT'S VERY ABRASIVE.
SITTING ON STEEL WOOL EVERY TIME I SIT DOWN.
HERE'S A TRAVELER'S TIP. BRING YOUR OWN DOUBLE-PLY.
TONY.
CIAO.
BUON GIORNO.
THIS IS GABRIELE BONCI...
(speaking Italian)
A ROGUE PIZZAIOLO WHO'S GOT A TINY
AND UNUSUALLY INNOVATIVE PIZZA SHOP NEAR THE VATICAN,
WHICH WE'LL TRY LATER.
YEAH, TRATTORIA.
AH, BEAUTIFUL.
RIGHT NOW, THOUGH, HE'S TAKING ME FOR LUNCH
ON ISOLA TIBERINA.
A TINY ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TIBER RIVER,
THE ISLAND WAS ONCE A DUMPING GROUND
FOR THE CRIMINAL AND THE SICK.
NOW IT'S A PERFECT SPOT FOR A STROLL
OR, BETTER YET, LUNCH AT THE FAMOUS SORA LELLA.
GOOD TO MEET YOU.
(speaking Italian)
PREGO.
JUST OVER THE BRIDGE IN A BUILDING
THAT'S OVER 1,000 YEARS OLD,
SORA LELLA IS A CLASSIC FAMILY-OWNED ROMAN TRATTORIA
THAT HAS BEEN HERE FOR OVER 50 YEARS.
JOINING US FOR LUNCH IS GOOD FRIEND OF BONCI'S
CHEF MAURO TRABALZA.
THE PLACE IS NAMED FOR HIS GRANDMOTHER,
A FAMOUS ROMAN ACTRESS WHOSE IMAGE IS SEEN EVERYWHERE.
WELCOME TO SORA LELLA.
MAURO'S FATHER IS AT THE HELM,
SERVING UP OLD-SCHOOL ITALIAN DISHES,
STARTING WITH SUPPLI, ITALIAN RICE CROQUETTES.
ENJOY. OKAY.
OH.
CARBONARA SUPREME.
I'M A SUCKER FOR AN EGG YOLK.
OH.
YEAH.
EXACTLY.
NOT TOO MUCH.
EXACTLY.
THEN POLPETTE, A TYPE OF MEATBALL.
YEAH, VEAL.
YEAH. AND PARMESAN CHEESE,
EGG, AND THE RAISINS.
THE PHILOSOPHY OF MY FAMILY--
COOK WITH THE PASSION, WITH THE HEART,
AND ORIGINALITY.
THE PHILOSOPHY IS OLD FOOD IS GOOD.
CUCINA DEL POPOLO.
QUINTO QUARTO.
QUINTO QUARTO IS...
YEAH.
TRIPE.
CORATELLA.
SO THE STEAKS-- THAT GOES TO VATICAN CITY...
TRADITIONALLY...
IN THE OLD DAYS.
THE PEOPLE, THEY EAT THE TRIPE.
CORATELLA IS A CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF THIS--
LAMB'S HEART, LIVER, AND LUNGS
MMM.
THIS IS, UH, THE PLATE OF THE GRANDMAMA OF ROME.
YOUNG PEOPLE, UH... SOMETIMES.
IT'S, UH, THE NEW GENERATION DON'T LIKE.
SCARPETTA.
SCARPETTA.
SCARPETTA MEANS "LITTLE SHOE" AND IS WHAT THEY CALL IT
WHEN YOU WIPE THE PLATE CLEAN WITH YOUR BREAD.
NOW ARRIVE MY FATHER'S CREATION.
THE NAME IS CAPRESE 3,000.
IT'S MAURO'S FATHER'S TAKE ON CAPRESE SALAD--
PANNA COTTA STUFFED WITH BUFFALO MOZZARELLA,
TOMATO ASPIC, PESTO, AND PINE NUTS.
SO TRADITIONAL FLAVORS, TRADITIONAL INGREDIENTS,
EXACTLY.
YEAH.
FINALLY, LAMB ALLA CACCIATORE--
CLASSIC ITALIAN COOKING AT ITS FINEST.
(indistinct conversation)
NOW GRANTED, THIS IS A LARGE LUNCH
AND MAYBE A PICNIC IS MORE YOUR STYLE.
IF THAT'S THE CASE,
FIND A PLACE LIKE VOLPETTI
IN THE WORKING-CLASS TESTACCIO DISTRICT.
THESE ITALIAN DELI/GROCERIES KNOWN AS ALIMENTARE
OR SALUMERIA ARE THE PERFECT PLACE
TO STOCK UP ON SOME OF ROME'S BEST FLAVORS--
SALAMI, PROSCIUTTO, CHEESES, OLIVES, WINE--
ALL IN ONE PLACE,
PROCURED, STORED, SLICED, AND SOLD
WITH GENUINE PASSION AND REAL CRAFTSMANSHIP.
YOU PRETTY MUCH CAN'T GO WRONG WITH TAKEOUT LIKE THIS.
AND OF COURSE, THERE ARE FOUNTAINS AND PIAZZAS
AROUND EVERY CORNER WHERE YOU CAN SIT DOWN AND EAT.
OR YOU CAN GRAB SOME OF THE BEST FRIED CODFISH AROUND
AT FILETTI di BACCALà, AN UNASSUMING PLACE
NEAR CAMPO DE' FIORI IN THE OLD CENTER.
THESE WOMEN DO ONE THING, AND THEY DO IT WELL.
FRIED ZUCCHINI IS ALSO AVAILABLE,
BUT IT'S REALLY ABOUT THE FISH.
BACK AT SORA LELLA,
THE CONVERSATION CHANGES GEARS.
PIZZA. JUST PIZZA.
STREET ARTIST. I LIKE IT.
TALKING ABOUT PIZZA WITH ITALIAN CHEFS,
I HAD TO BRING UP SOMETHING THAT'S ALWAYS BOTHERED ME,
KNOWING FOR SURE THAT THEY SHARE MY REVULSION.
NOW HAVE YOU SEEN THIS (bleep)-- HAWAIIAN PIZZA?
I KNOW. IN NEW YORK. YEAH, I KNOW.
PINEAPPLE, HAM. YES.
I-I CANNOT (bleep) BELIEVE IT.
(laughs)
IT'S--IT IS THE MOST HORRIFYING THING.
TONIGHT,
MM-HMM.
OH, (bleep) NO.
SHUT UP. YES. SHUT UP. YES.
(speaking indistinctly)
YES. SHUT UP. YES.
YES? JUST ONE. TONIGHT, OKAY?
NO, NO... (speaking Italian)
I'M SURE THIS GUY'S GOOD,
BUT I WILL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT.
(laughing)
(clock ticking)
(indistinct conversation)
IF YOU ARE IN ROME,
AND, UH, IT'S REALLY HOT,
THE WATER THAT YOU CAN FIND IN NASONI
IS THE BEST WATER YOU CAN DRINK IN ROME.
WITH THE NASONI, YOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE, UH...
A LONG, HOT DAY IN ROME--
MAYBE A LITTLE ESPRESSO, SIT OUT IN A CAFé,
HOPE TO CATCH A BREEZE.
(bell tolls)
AH, THAT'S NICE.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LOCATION.
IT'S FANTASTIC HERE.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
ESPRESSO.
YOUR ORDER.
(sighs)
LET'S SEE WHAT WITLESS FACTS
YOU'VE PROVIDED ME WITH
THIS EXCITING EPISODE OF...
INTERMINABLE "LAYOVER."
WHERE THIS FAKE GUIDEBOOK
KEEPS COMING FROM IN EVERY SHOW AND WHY
IS SOMETHING I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
DO NOT MAKE TELEVISION WHEN IN ROME,
BECAUSE IT WILL REALLY SUCK ALL OF THE JOY
OUT OF THE EXPERIENCE.
"ITALY IS NOT A TIPPING COUNTRY, AND ROMANS TIP
ONLY WHEN THEY'RE REALLY PLEASED WITH THE SERVICE."
SORRY, NO CAN DO. I'M A 20% TIPPER.
I DON'T CARE WHAT LAND I'M IN.
"MOST ITALIAN EMPLOYEES GO ON VACATION IN AUGUST.
"IF YOU COME TO ROME AT THAT TIME OF THE YEAR,
YOU'LL FIND AN ALMOST EMPTY CITY."
WELL, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
IT WILL BE CLOGGED WITH TOURISTS.
"IF YOU LIKE WATCHING THE GLAMOROUS ROMANS,
BETTER TO VISIT ROME IN LATE SPRING OR FALL."
ON THE OTHER HAND, IF LIKE ME YOU JUST, LIKE,
LOVE WATCHING UGLY TOURISTS WADDLE PAST,
SLOWLY FRYING IN THE MID-SUMMER SUN,
YOU KNOW, JULY'S FINE.
WE CAN ALWAYS RECOGNIZE THEY ARE--
IF THEY ARE TOURISTS OR NOT,
UH, FROM THE WAY THAT THEY ARE DRESSED.
NOT VERY SMILEY-- ABOUT THE FRENCH.
OR TOO MUCH SMILEY-- ABOUT THE AMERICANS.
"SUMMER CAN BE VERY HOT IN TOWN.
"IF YOU WANT TO FIND SOME COOL RELIEF
"WHILE NOT INTERRUPTING YOUR SIGHTSEEING,
GO VISIT A CHURCH."
I DON'T APPROVE OF THAT. NO. GOD WON'T HELP YOU.
WHEN I'M IN ITALY WITH MY DAUGHTER,
4:00 IN THE AFTERNOON IS GELATO TIME--
THE QUINTESSENTIAL SUMMER SNACK,
SOMETHING SWEET BETWEEN LUNCH AND DINNER.
THERE ARE, OF COURSE, GELATERIAS
GOOD AND NOT SO GOOD EVERYWHERE IN ITALY,
BUT IT'S WORTH LOOKING FOR A GREAT ONE.
GELATERIA dei GRACCHI IN THE PRATI DISTRICT
IS PROBABLY THE BEST OF THE BEST.
OR YOU COULD MAKE LIKE THE NOTORIOUS DICTATOR MAXIMUS
AND GRAB A GRATTACHECCA.
HIS HE HAD MADE WITH IMPORTED SNOW.
THEY DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE, BUT YOU CAN GET
ONE OF THESE SORT OF SLUSHY, SNOW CONEY TREATS
WITH SWEET SYRUP
POURED OVER SHAVED ICE AND MIXED FRUITS
AT ROADSIDE STANDS LIKE THIS ONE--
DELLA SORA MARIA, ALSO IN THE PRATI DISTRICT.
ME, I'M STICKING WITH THE ESPRESSO.
I'M MEETING UP WITH BONCI AT HIS PLACE.
PIZZA--UBIQUITOUS AS YOU'D EXPECT,
A LOT OF IT FRANKLY PRETTY BAD PIZZA.
HERE IT'S OFTEN SERVED BY THE PIECE OR SLICE.
AL TAGLIO-- YOU PICK YOUR SLICE,
TELL 'EM HOW MUCH YOU WANT, AND PAY BY WEIGHT.
THE TOPPINGS OFFERED ARE PRETTY STANDARD THROUGHOUT ROME,
BUT I'M NOT GOING ANYPLACE STANDARD.
♪♪
(Bonci) HI, TONY.
PIZZARIUM, BONCI'S PLACE,
IS A DEPARTURE FROM THE CLASSICS.
THIS LITTLE HOLE IN THE WALL IN THE PRATI DISTRICT,
RIGHT BEHIND THE VATICAN, IS WHERE BONCI
IN THE LAST FEW YEARS CLAIMS TO HAVE INVENTED
1,500 DIFFERENT TAKES ON PIZZA.
CLEARLY HE'S NOT DONE YET.
Sì.
I BELIEVE BECAUSE-- YOU KNOW WHY, I BELIEVE?
YES.
THIS IS, UH... (speaking indistinctly)
THIS IS WHY I BELIEVE.
OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
OH.
SO THIS IS A MULTICEREAL THAT WE MAKE EVERY DAY.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
HERE, AS WITH ALL GREAT PIZZA,
IT STARTS WITH THE DOUGH,
A TRUE AND NOBLE DOUGH,
THE BEST PIZZA BEING THE END RESULT
OF AN OLD AND WELL-MAINTAINED BACTERIAL CULTURE,
A STARTER.
BONCI IS USING ONE THAT'S 200 YEARS OLD.
Sì.
LOOK AT THIS. YOU CAN FEEL IT BREATHING.
THIS IS NUMBER ONE.
OKAY.
Sì, Sì.
OKAY. THIS MOMENT?
GRANDE. OKAY.
♪♪
(Bonci) FOIE GRAS.
YEAH.
(speaking indistinctly)
(clicking tongue)
OH, MAN, THAT'S GOOD.
(speaking indistinctly)
THE--THE--THE FAT FROM THE FOIE,
THE SWEETNESS FROM THE CHERRIES,
THIS AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING CRUST.
RASPBERRIES?
RASPBERRIES WITH ROASTED POTATOES,
GOAT CHEESE, AND FRESH MINT.
THIS IS MADE ONE TIME IN A YEAR.
IT'S AMAZING.
FANTASTIC.
YEAH, COME ON. YEAH.
NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD I THINK THIS--
(speaking indistinctly)
THREE INGREDIENTS--ONE, TWO, THREE, ONE, TWO, THREE,
NO MORE.
JUST ONE, TWO, THREE, ONE, TWO, THREE.
OH, COME ON, NOW THIS IS OLD SCHOOL.
YEAH, PRETTY TRADITIONAL.
MOZZARELLA-- FRESH MOZZARELLA
YES.
WITH ANCHOVIES.
(indistinct conversation)
OOH, THAT'S GOOD.
YOU WANT IT. YOU WANT IT BAD. YOUR LIFE WOULD BE
SO MUCH BETTER IF YOU HAD THIS RIGHT NOW.
LEAVE YOUR FAMILY. ABANDON YOUR CHILDREN.
TOUCH YOURSELF. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.
IF YOU'RE FEELING A LITTLE BLOATED AND GASSY,
BELT TIGHTENING AROUND YOUR WAIST LIKE A HANGMAN'S NOOSE,
AND LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ON THE LIGHTER SIDE,
THERE'S ALICIOTTI con l'INDIVIA,
AN ANCHOVY DISH AND A STAPLE OF ROME'S JEWISH GHETTO,
WHICH IS, BY THE WAY, ONE OF THE CITY'S
MOST BEAUTIFUL AND ANCIENT NEIGHBORHOODS.
BACK AT THE PIZZARIUM,
I KINDA HOPED THAT BONCI WOULD HAVE FORGOTTEN
THE HAWAIIAN PIZZA CHALLENGE.
OH.
NO, NO.
(speaking Italian)
OKAY.
OKAY, I AND YOU, HUH?
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO.
OKAY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
FIRST TIME HE MADE IT.
IT NEEDS HEAT, SOME PAIN.
JUST ONE...
ONION.
NOW IT'S A SORT OF--AH.
NOW, YEAH.
YEAH.
BEFORE... NOW PERFECT.
FRIED ONIONS AND 12 KINDS OF DIFFERENT PEPPERS.
TOTALLY CHANGED IT.
OKAY.
NOW GOOD PINEAPPLE AND HAM.
PINEAPPLE, HAM, AND ONION IS WONDERFUL, OKAY?
THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN GOOD.
THAT ABSOLUTELY-- THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN GOOD.
IT WAS REALLY, REALLY GOOD.
TOTALLY. MONSTER.
LET ME SAY AGAIN, THE CRUST IS AMAZING.
SADLY, I MUST MOVE ON.
AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE TO JUST STAY HERE,
EATING THE PIZZA, DRINKING THE WINE,
SHOOTING THE (bleep), I HAVE A SHOW TO DO.
(clock ticking)
(indistinct conversation)
♪♪
TRASTEVERE IS, LIKE SO MANY HIPSTER MAGNETS,
A FORMER WORKING-CLASS NEIGHBORHOOD.
FRENI E FRIZIONI, OR "BRAKES AND CLUTCHES,"
IS AN AUTO REPAIR GARAGE TURNED BAR.
THERE'S A FREE BUFFET FOR THE COLLEGE STUDENTS
TO FILL UP IN BETWEEN DRINKS AND UNINTENDED PREGNANCIES.
HALFWAY THROUGH MY LAYOVER, AND THE CLOCK IS TICKING.
LOOK, YOU CAN SEE IT IN THE CORNER SOMEWHERE,
SOME KIND OF CREATIVE GRAPHIC
TRYING TO GIVE YOU THE IMPRESSION
THAT SOMETHING WORLD-CHANGINGLY IMPORTANT IS GOING ON.
OH, NO, WILL LITTLE TIMMY GET HIS NEW KIDNEY ON TIME?
(bleep) IT.
AND (bleep) LITTLE TIMMY. I HOPE HE DIES.
I'M SITTING DOWN AND RELAXING AND HAVING A NEGRONI.
ACTUALLY, I'M GONNA HAVE A BUNCH OF NEGRONIS.
THAT'S GOOD. YOU NEED THE ORANGE.
NOT A LEMON--ORANGE.
BY THE WAY, WHEN MAKING NEGRONIS AT HOME--
1/3 HIGH-END GIN, 1/3 CAMPARI,
AND 1/3 SWEET VERMOUTH.
I DON'T REALLY LIKE GIN.
I DON'T REALLY LIKE CAMPARI, AND I DON'T LIKE SWEET VERMOUTH.
BUT TOGETHER?
YOUR FRIEND.
THE COUNT NEGRONI IT IS SAID
INVENTED THIS FINE COCKTAIL IN FLORENCE.
UNSATISFIED WITH THE LEVEL OF ALCOHOL
IN HIS AMERICANO COCKTAIL OF CAMPARI AND SWEET VERMOUTH,
HE SUGGESTED HIS WAITER RATCHET UP THE DANGER LEVEL
WITH THE ADDITION OF GIN.
THUS WAS BORN A CLASSIC
AND MANY INCIDENTS DIMLY IF AT ALL REMEMBERED.
IF THIS IS NOT YOUR SCENE,
AND YOU'RE FEELING AN UNCONTROLLABLE URGE
TO PARADE YOUR BANANA HAMMOCK WHILE DRINKING,
THERE'S ANGELINA'S, A SWANK SWIMMING POOL BAR
LOCATED ON THE TIBER NEAR PONTE SANT'ANGELO.
♪♪
ME, I'M GINNED UP
AND LOOKING TO INDULGE MY OBSESSION
WITH CLASSIC ITALIAN SUNGLASSES.
THESE ARE SORT OF INTERESTING.
IF SHOPPING IS NOT WHAT YOU'RE INTO,
HOW ABOUT DEAD PEOPLE?
KNOWN AS THE PROTESTANT OR ENGLISH CEMETERY,
YOU CAN CHANNEL YOUR INNER BYRON
BY MOPING AROUND THE GRAVES OF THE POET JOHN KEATS
OR PERCY SHELLEY,
COMPOSING PERHAPS A FEW VERSES
WHILE THE AFTERNOON SHADOWS GROW LONGER FROM THE COLOSSEUM.
STAY GOLD, PONYBOY. STAY GOLD.
GIANICOLO, I SEE FROM MY GUIDEBOOK,
MAKES FOR A NICE SCENIC VANTAGE POINT AT SUNSET
FROM WHICH TO SEE THE WHOLE CITY.
MY PRODUCER SAYS YOU CAN BRING A DATE
OR EVEN A *** THERE.
♪♪
AH, CITY OF LOVE, CITY OF P.D.A.
ONLY SAMANTHA BROWN LOOKS AT THE CAMERA
AND STARTS BABBLING ABOUT, LIKE, ROMANCE.
"ROME AT DUSK. THERE'S REALLY NO PLACE LIKE IT, IS THERE?
OH, ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR."
NO. IT SHOULD BE WISTFUL, AFTER THE FACT.
"LOOKING BACK ON THAT MOMENT,
"I REALIZE, THOUGH I MAY NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE
"TO APPRECIATE IT AT THE TIME,
"EVEN THEN THE AIR WAS REDOLENT
WITH THE STENCH OF AMORE."
(bleep) THIS. I'M ALONE.
BACK TO PIGNETO NEIGHBORHOOD,
WHERE I HAD PORCHETTA EARLIER, THIS TIME FOR DINNER.
SARA AND HER FRIEND LUCIO
ARE TAKING ME TO BETTO e MARY,
AN UNASSUMING, TYPICALLY ROMAN,
AND DEFINITELY NOT TOURISTY NEIGHBORHOOD PLACE.
THIS PLACE IS PACKED.
PEOPLE SEEM REALLY INTO IT.
THESE GUYS ARE DOING MONSTER BUSINESS.
FROM THE STREET, IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THEY'RE DOING MUCH.
YEAH, BUT YOU CAN, UH...
YOU CAN SMELL IT FROM OUTSIDE.
I'M WATCHING THE FOOD GO BY TO THE OTHER TABLES,
AND IT'S LIKE, OH, YEAH, I'LL EAT THAT.
OH, YEAH, I'LL-- I'LL HAVE THAT. YEP.
THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE YOU CAN FIND, UH,
QUINTESSENTIAL ROMAN CUISINE
WITHOUT COMPROMISING FOR THE TASTES OF TOURISTS.
WE ARE FAR FROM THE CENTER.
WE ARE IN A SUBURB,
HARDCORE.
COOL. I'M CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT THAT IS.
NO MENUS.
THE OWNER, BETTO, SITS DOWN LIKE AN OLD FRIEND
AND TELLS YOU WHAT THEY'VE GOT, ASKS WHAT WE FEEL LIKE,
AND SOON THERE'S ANTIPASTI OF FRIED BROCCOLI AND MUSHROOMS,
EGGPLANT WITH OLIVES AND PEPPERS,
ROASTED RED PEPPERS WITH PIGNOLI NUTS,
AND NERVETTI,
WHICH IS TENDER, TENDER VEAL TENDON.
NEXT, A VERY OLD-SCHOOL DISH THAT'S CERTAIN TO GET US MAIL--
SFILACCI, SHAVED HORSE MEAT WITH ARUGULA AND PARMIGIANO.
OH, STOP IT.
WE MAY NOT EAT HORSES IN THE U.S.,
BUT WE KILL THEM BY THE DROVES AND SELL THE MEAT TO CANADA.
HYPOCRITES.
HORSE MEAT, FOR EXAMPLE,
IS SOMETHING YOU WON'T FIND
IN A RESTAURANT OF THE CENTER.
YOU TRY TO SELL THIS IN NEW YORK,
YOU'D HAVE PICKETERS OUT FRONT OF YOUR RESTAURANT.
YOU'D HAVE--YOU'D HAVE, YOU KNOW, HIPPIES WITH SIGNS
ACCUSING YOU OF ***.
WELL, IS IT DIFFERENT TO *** A PIG OR A HORSE?
WELL, EXACTLY.
OH, YES, RIGATONI WITH OXTAIL RAGU.
PRETTY MUCH MENTION OXTAIL AND RAGU,
AND I'M READY TO SLIT SOMEBODY'S THROAT FOR A BITE.
OH, AND THIS--FETTUCINE WITH ARTICHOKE AND SWEETBREADS.
NICE, NICE, NICE.
MMM.
FINALLY...
YEP.
BEAUTIFUL.
TANTE GRAZIE.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR LESS CHALLENGING,
MAYBE MORE FAMILIAR GROUND,
YOU COULD HEAD OVER TO THE JUST-AS-AUTHENTIC
RISTORO DEGLI ANGELI
IN THE RESIDENTIAL GARBATELLA NEIGHBORHOOD.
GREAT PASTAS, GREAT SEAFOOD DISHES,
AND A SPECIALTY-- AND IT'S EXCELLENT--
A FETTUCCINE WITH BUTTER, PARMIGIANA,
AND TOASTED SESAME SEEDS.
THIS PLACE IS AWESOME.
SOMETIMES IT'S VERY HARD TO FIND A GOOD--
TO FIND THE RIGHT RESTAURANT.
A LOT OF PLACES CHANGE THEIR STYLE TO, UH,
SORT OF ACCOMMODATE WHAT THEY THINK ARE WESTERN TASTES.
SO HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT A MATTER OF BEING IN THE CENTER,
BECAUSE EVEN IN VERY TOURISTY AREAS,
YOU CAN FIND TOURIST TRAPS AND VERY GOOD RESTAURANTS.
IN ROME, EVERY GOOD PLACE
HAS A LINE IN FRONT OF IT.
RIGHT.
AND THEY DON'T MIND STANDING IN LINE, WAITING TO BE SERVED.
THERE'S--IF THERE'S A LINE, IT'S A GOOD SIGN.
STAY AWAY FROM, UH, RESTAURANTS WITH A MENU
IN ENGLISH AND IN ITALIAN.
IF YOU'RE GONNA VISIT HERE FOR ANY PERIOD OF TIME,
BETTER MAKE FRIENDS WITH A ROMAN.
(clock ticking)
(indistinct conversation)
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SUMMER NIGHT, AND LIKE I SAID BEFORE,
WHEN IN ROME, YOU WALK WHENEVER CONVENIENT.
LUCIO AND I TAKE A STROLL OVER TO THE SPANISH STEPS
FROM THE PIAZZA DEL POPOLO,
THE SO-CALLED "PEOPLE'S SQUARE."
AH, IT'S PRETTY, HUH? THE LITTLE STATUES AROUND.
THE STATUES AROUND.
THE DRAWINGS THAT ARE MADE ON THE OBELISK.
AH, YES.
IT'S THE DETAILS. "GOD IS IN THE DETAILS," SOMEBODY SAID
THIS IS-- THIS NEIGHBORHOOD'S
A WHOLE DIFFERENT ANIMAL LATE AT NIGHT.
IT'S UNDENIABLY GORGEOUS.
NO ONE COULD NOT BE SUSCEPTIBLE
TO HOW GORGEOUS.
WHAT A TOWN.
WISH I COULD STAY HERE ANOTHER WEEK.
IF I HAD THE TIME, AND I DON'T,
I MIGHT HEAD OVER TO THE BELVEDERE CEDERNA,
AN OPEN-AIR TERRACE WITH A VIEW OF THE COLOSSEUM.
DURING THE SUMMER MONTHS, THEY SHOW MOVIES.
THERE'S EVEN AN OUTDOOR COCKTAIL LOUNGE--
THE ELEFUNK KITCHEN CLUB.
SO REALLY, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED?
SEE, ISN'T THAT NICE?
I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY CLIMBED THE SPANISH STEPS.
THERE'S NO POINT,
UNLESS THERE'S, LIKE, SAUSAGE AT THE TOP.
ALL RIGHT.
AS MUCH AS I ENJOY A BEAUTIFUL VISTA,
AND THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL VISTA,
I FEEL LIKE SOME (bleep) SAUSAGE. LET'S GO. COME ON.
I FEEL LIKE I SWALLOWED A (bleep) BEACH BALL TODAY,
BY THE WAY.
BUT I HAVE ABOUT THIS MUCH ROOM LEFT FOR SAUSAGE.
SADLY, OUR FIRST CHOICE OF MYSTERY MEAT VENDORS
WAS CLOSED, SO WE ENDED UP AT ANOTHER ONE.
OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN WHERE THE OWNER WAS,
AT LEAST AT FIRST, LESS THAN THRILLED TO SEE US.
YEAH.
OH, YEAH, NOT JUST FOR ME, BUT ALL MY FRIENDS.
I WOULD GET ROSTICINI.
IT'S LIKE SHEEP ON A...
LAMB ON A STICK. LET'S DO THAT.
IT'S NICE YOU CAN BUY BEER OUT OF A TRUCK, YEAH?
OH, NO.
IF YOU HAVE ANY CONCERNS ABOUT MYSTERY MEAT,
THERE ARE THESE COCOMERO STANDS
WHERE YOU CAN INDULGE YOUR NEED FOR HEALTHY FRUIT
LIKE MELONS OR BERRIES OR SOME (bleep).
WHATEV.
ME, I'M STICKING WITH THE STREET MEAT.
I THINK IT'S ONLY APPROPRIATE AT THIS MOMENT
TO QUOTE LORD BYRON.
"IS THERE ANYTHING MORE GLORIOUS THAN MEAT ON A STICK?"
YEAH.
EXACTLY.
NO, HE'S A NICE MAN. HE'S SMILING NOW.
HE WAS A LITTLE BIT HARSH,
RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, IT'S 11:30 AT NIGHT,
AND YOU CAN GET MEAT ON A STICK AND BEER.
CHEERS.
I'LL TELL YOU, THOSE BURGERS LOOK PRETTY SINISTER.
(clock ticking)
(indistinct conversation)
♪♪
JUST A FEW HOURS LEFT UNTIL MY FLIGHT.
FOR ME, IF THERE'S REALLY ONE ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL THING
TO DO WHEN BRIEFLY IN ROME IT'S THIS.
THIS IS THE WAY TO GET AROUND ROME.
♪♪
SO YOU CAN SPEED THROUGH TRAFFIC.
YOU'RE OUT THERE IN THE WORLD.
YOU CAN ACTUALLY SMELL IT AND FEEL IT, WIND IN YOUR HAIR.
OKAY, IT'S A LITTLE MORE DANGEROUS.
BUT THINK ABOUT IT. YOU CAN ALSO PULL OVER
AS THE INSTINCT OR IMPULSE STRIKES YOU.
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT A BIG COMMITMENT TO PARK. IT'S CHEAP.
IT'S THE MOST TOTALLY AWESOME WAY TO GET AROUND ROME.
FIVE TIMES AS FAST, FIVE TIMES AS FLEXIBLE,
FIVE TIMES AS MUCH FUN-- WHY WOULDN'T YOU DO THIS?
WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY,
I HAVE JUST ENOUGH TIME FOR A VERY IMPORTANT FINAL BITE.
OH, HERE WE GO.
GRAZIE. OH, THAT'S NICE. LOOK.
IT'S SO PRETTY.
CACIO e PEPE-- YOU CAN GET IT ANYWHERE,
BUT YOU WANT IT GOOD.
THIS PLACE, NAMED STRANGELY ENOUGH CACIO E PEPE,
(Anthony) I JUST LOVE THIS (bleep).
IT LOOKS LIKE JUST SOME PLAIN PASTA, RIGHT,
WITH A LITTLE BLACK PEPPER AND CHEESE,
AND IT BASICALLY IS,
BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA
HOW GOOD THAT IS.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT THAT.
THAT'S PECORINO, BY THE WAY. THAT'S NOT PARMESAN.
LOOK AT THAT, JUST A VISION OF LOVELINESS.
IT LOOKS LIKE JUST NOTHING.
IT IS, IN FACT, EVERYTHING.
MMM. HAPPY. VERY HAPPY.
IF YOU DO ONE THING IN ROME, ONE THING,
FORGET ABOUT VATICAN CITY, ALL THE REST,
ONE THING, FIND A PLACE THAT IS GUARANTEED BY LOCALS
TO MAKE GOOD CACIO e PEPE,
GET YOURSELF A NICE JUG OF WINE,
AND EAT.
MMM.
♪♪