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that incidental houston
it's legal team deadlines timeline
what your job is what you can actually be
who's gonna work with you what resources you have
pooling our household does the laundry
going around town three more free shopping who is picking up the case
was around the country
to teenagers and by february in the morning i'm negotiated more than you can
imagine
right and using lost like fifty percent
and start piece by saying you don't know true humility
until you've been out negotiated by a fifteen-year-old
uh... and it happens in my household routine
talking about when talking about negotiation
when we can make a deal
it's not something that we could not have
without this discussion
and if there's something in the way
figuring out
how to move
for women
for everybody
but particularly from
the most important step negotiation
figuring out to negotiate in the first place
so here's the problem we
men negotiate four times more than we did
today always do a well known to be looked at what they want to know
by
they look at more of life circumstances
ads
breeze they can be negotiate
but they're not calm and and some women are really corrected
that their research on gender tells us
look at the world
has morphed x
or absolute
this can change
and look at the world would say
and i can change that
actually matters i'm gonna give you some examples that are
and then we'll give you some examples that our series
about the differences in negotiate
that was written by doctor with that cokie economist at carnegie mellon
university where i work
and linda babcock in ohio are launching the first negotiation academy for women
at carnegie mellon university it's something i've
you know they're working on for years i feel like i'm giving birth
that's what this you know that's what this feels like this program because
it's something that i think
nurturing and working on for a very long
research doctor babcock research
she's can apply for really interesting reason
wine women don't negotiate something
doctors started in this research
that she has all these graduate students write you think you know an economist
and she has p_h_d_ students too
worked with her in on their projects
all of the women p_h_d_ students came up to her and said
hey listen this school is just not fair
janet get on teaching assistant positions
and wiltel u
and these teacher position teaching assistant positions
and wonderfully
and we all know how much money students need all the time
and also where they have speaks to them
you know if you have on your resume your beat a bit yuor teaching assistant
that's a nice thing to have on their and
if you are teaching assistant chances are good also allows you to develop a
very deep relationship with the professor who supports their teaching
and then you get something outside of it right you get a connection a network
connection
big carol era bracket mandated you know
friends happen
when you're teaching
and telling us that look around and she looked at the you know who they're
teaching assistants were
that
it's really true
and then also teaching assistants are met
but you might spell the hard part of the deal
who lets her husband
and she said
listened buster
that there are
more women he said
women don't
yet haha chairmen to are professors
aren't once school starts
and say oh i wear really interested in teaching position
and please consider me for the first ta position that comes up
and the men ask for them and you don't have it
they ask for them and
big surprise
and the women are saying
any minute now they're going to recognize just how talented all right
now
minute some she's going to come up to me and say and say you are the teaching
assistant at my dream
span a minute now
not going to happen
so let me know that named his research i pulled the circumstances in life
where there's a gender gap
and it's fascinating and
you know i read a lot of fun to live
reading sir hiding something from read allotment
and i think that sometimes the research is so depressing that it makes me want
to put my head in the oven
but it's only symbolic i don't turn the gas on
there are some studies that i will tell you that i had my head the other for
quite some time
and some of them are doctor babcock
well the first thing is recognizing opportunity
you always see the world inspector absolute
are their opportunities to negotiate all day every day
because we can't weight and
thing is entitlement
john can you do that
just about
looks like he's entitled to any
entitlements
uh... my really don't know
why is that if they are we're teaching assistant material
you know a at d one really deserve peace
well
right so
here's what we find happens
that women have
elevated standards themselves
right into
works for me to ask for a teaching assistant job
have to be
like so perfect
and men don't have the same standards
notion how the standard
know right now but we ship some standards critic it's not like i'm
suggesting we abandon all standards
but
we expect more of ourselves
many years
required
and that's why we don't ask
because we don't aren't sure we deserve it
bar
we have to get over
that's something we gotta fix
that will get you know
and two i believe you're entitled to everything right should you get
everything you asked for you know
know where they're going to which we're not entitled that we haven't heard yet
for which we don't have the skills
those are the circumstance and parking
i'm talking about the circumstances where you have the same set of skills
your male colleagues
but you don't think you're worth
feel the same sense of family
back
makes me want to put my head
third step is anxiety
anxiety about negotiating
especially when it's about money
thank you and exercise
with smaller groups people
and i have on one side of the
signs that thing
i feel
powerful when i negotiate
i negotiate all the time
the our side
will he be impressed but on the ghostly
side of the room i have
i don't have the power to negotiate
destinations like going to the dentist
negotiation is something i tried to public
i have groups of women whether they're ten whether they're a hundred whether
they're two hundred
the same thing happened
doesn't matter what age they are it doesn't matter their high level
executives
or high school student
i say to them
please don't stand in front of the sign
that best reflects
how you feel
when you're negotiating or someone else
when you're negotiating someone else
accom friend a family member about
arrogantly walks over to the positive side
absolutely everybody
there's a few people legal right to be negotiations like going to the dentist
most people go to the pocket
man i said
okay great so look at your son don't get here
getting your mind what what that's nonsense
now please
stand in front of a sign that best reflects
how do you feel
when you're negotiating for yourself
and the whole room ships
right by me not to be careful if it's not until right
because almost all the time with a couple of exceptions here in there
everyone wants
negotiations like going to the dentist i don't have power the power to negotiate
the other side will think i'm greedy or selfish
then i said quote
i can't leave houston
one
please go stand in front of a sign that reflects how you want to feel
when you're negotiating for yourself for money
and then walked back across the room
to the sign that is the most powerful one of the most powerful ones for them
and then i say sit down with got some work to do