Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
My name is Ravinder, and I'm a graduate student here at Berkeley.
And when I came to Berkeley, I came with very high hopes of a, you know, the education.
I wanted to get an education. Our parents were not very rich. So it was, we...
As immigrants, I wanted to make it, you know, as an engineer.
Engineers make good salaries, so I wanted to make it as an engineer, and wanted to make
money.
Education was one way. My brain was pretty good, and I was a good, hardworking student.
One year into Berkeley, 1995, I started having migraine headaches.
The doctors couldn't, I went to the doctors, to the emergency room three or four times
a week, and I'd get demerol shots.
It would be horrendous, with three, four technical classes.
You know, it would be really bad. So anyways, this went on for about a year.
It was really bad because at that time, in any academic arena, professors want results.
And I had counted on myself to produce results.
I began to think ahead, thinking, I'm not going to be able to get a Bachelor's.
I'm not going to be able to produce these results in classes.
My life's probably not worth anything.
My brain is the one that's affected in these headaches, so I can't think.
So, pretty soon, my life's pretty much worthless, you know.
Earlier, all my trust and everything had relied on my brain.
Now, the thing that I relied on, I couldn't rely on it anymore.
So, pretty soon, the purpose of my life, an education that I had relied on, had been miscalculated.
I didn't have a purpose in life.
Since the headaches were so bad, I wanted them to end.
The only way to end them was suicide.
It wasn't just a passing thought.
It was a reality to me.
I gave myself a year.
I said, if I don't find a purpose, life's got to end, because these headaches are too
I couldn't take the pain without this purpose.
There's really nothing that is propelling me to move forward.
There has to be a drive inside.
Earlier there was a drive inside.
Now there was no longer a drive with these headaches.
I began asking a purpose to my parents.
I grew up in the Sikh faith, which is very similar to the Hindu faith but Sikhs wear
a turban.
I attended a Sikh temple close by, but it was like a Sunday thing.
You go and you come back and that's it.
There's not much of a relationship with God.
I asked them about purpose in life.
I asked my parents that question about the purpose in life.
As I was struggling through this purpose thing, as I was asking these questions, a friend
actually, who, I don't know, I assume God sent him.
In retrospect, looking back, he asked me one time if I wanted to come to Bible study or
something.
I went to Bible study.
I said, yeah, I'll go.
Because I had grown up with the Sikh faith, I still struggled with many questions,
but the purpose of who Christ was, what Christ came down here to do on Earth,
what Christ said the purpose of our lives should be, you know, and what my life had
been so far till 21.
I was 21 at the time.
I kind of learned that so far my life's purpose had been misdirected.
And I began to learn of these things. And of course, you know,
but I wasn't convinced too much. The purpose of my life was becoming clearer.
I was reading actually Acts recently. And it was about Acts Chapter 4.
It was about, through the power of Christ, a crippled beggar got healed.
The apostles were saying, "This guy stands before you only because of the power and person
of Christ.
Through faith in Him this person has been completely healed."
And I was thinking, man, that's absolutely true.
What God has been able to do is give me that supernatural strength which still remains
with me.
I still go to school, and I still do my daily activities.
But just like the crippled beggar, you know, he was standing because of Jesus.
I stand before people because of Christ, really.
It says complete healing was given to him, and that's of course, spiritual healing.
Complete spiritual healing was given to me only because of Jesus Christ, and somehow
it's supernatural healing.
It's a bit tough to understand, but it's supernatural healing.