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>>> TONIGHT ON "RED EYE."
>> WILL BELGIUM HAVE A
DECADE-LONG STRUGGLE TO CATCH
UP WITH THE MODERN WORLD.
>> AND ARE THEY PLANNING TO
CLONE A T-REX ON NEW YEAR'S
EVE?
>> WE REMAIN OPTIMISTIC THAT
2014 IS THE YEAR IT WON'T
HAPPEN BECAUSE IT IS THE RIGHT
THING TO DO.
>> AND ARE SKATEBOARDING DOGS
THREATENING TO CRASH THE STOCK
MARKET.
THE STORY CNBC REFUSES TO
COVER.
NONE OF THESE STORIES ON "RED
EYE" TONIGHT.
>> AND NOW LET'S WELCOME OUR
GUEST.
SHE WOULD BE DRIPPING IN GOLD
MEDALS AND HER VICTIM'S
BLOOD.
I AM HERE WITH JOANNE AND GOOD
TO SEE YOU MATCH YOUR LAYERS
TODAY.
THAT'S NOT JESSE.
THAT IS ANDY.
I WAS READING THE WRONG JOKE.
ANDY HAS INFORMED ME TO ASK
YOU THAT FROM NOW ON IF YOU
TWEET HIM ABOUT HIS CAT OR
CAT-RELATED INFORMATION HE
WILL BE BLOCKING YOU. HE GOT
A JOB AT SPENCER'S GIFTS TO
GET A GIFT ON THE LINGUINI
PASTA AND CONDOMS.
WRITER AND COMEDIAN JESSE
JOYCE.
AND HIS MUSTACHE ONCE LANDED A
JUMBO JET AFTER A PILOT HAD A
HEART ATTACK.
HE LANDED IT ON A HIGHWAY.
THE FORMER U.S. AMBASSADOR TO
THE U.N AND FOX NEWS
CONTRIBUTOR IS THE PRESIDENT
OF "RED EYE," BUT YOU KNEW
THAT.
>> A BLOCK.
THE LEDE.
THAT'S THE FIRST STORY.
>> YOU WOULD SEE 12 BEAUTIFUL
IN THE WORLD.
>> I THINK I AM FALLING IN
LOVE.
>> IS LABOR OUT OF FAVOR?
A DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSMAN, IS
THERE ANY OTHER KIND AND IT
COULD BE A BOOM BECAUSE
AMERICANS WORK TOO MUCH
ANYWAY.
KEITH ELLISON WAS A DRUNK
FIGURE SKATER THAT SHOWED TWO
MILLION WORKERS CUT BACK OVER
THE NEXT DECADE.
>> WHAT THE OFFICE IS SAYING
IS WE WILL DISCOURAGE KIDS
HAVING A LATCHKEY.
PARENTS WILL COME HOME WORKING
REASONABLE HOURS.
PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO RETIRE
AND PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO
COOK DINNER RATHER THAN HAVING
TO ORDER OUT AND GET TAKEOUT.
IF THE AMERICANS COULD HAVE
MORE CHOICES TO OPEN UP A NEW
BUSINESS THEY WERE WANTING TO
START, THIS IS A GOOD THING.
>> SMEARING TAKEOUT.
I GUESS YOU GOT SOMETHING
AGAINST THE DELIVERY MEN.
RACIST.
MEANWHILE A LIKE-MINDED
POLITICO HAS AN OBSESSION WITH
WORK.
THE PROFESSOR THE LEISURE
STUDIES AND LET THAT WASH OVER
YOU.
WE FORGOT THAT THE PURPOSE OF
LIFE IS TO BE HAPPY AND TO
PASS THAT HAPPINESS ON FUTURE
GENERATIONS AND NOT SIMPLY TO
KEEP ACQUIRING MORE STUFF.
OBAMACARE WILL ENCOURAGE YOU
TO SPEND MORE TIME WORKING ON
HUMANITY.
OUR FAMILIES, OUR HOBBIES AND
OUR FAITH.
I FIND TIME FOR MY HOBBIES.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> NO HE HAS FOUND HAPPINESS
BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN DOING THIS
FOREVER AND HE ENJOYS IT SO
MUCH IT IS INCREDIBLE.
HE HAS AN INTERESTING JOB THAT
ALLOWS HIM TO TIE UP LIKE AN
ANIMAL.
>> YOU ARE ASSUMING THAT'S NOT
HIS JOB.
>> IT COULD BE HIS JOB.
>> AND WHAT A GREAT JOB IT
IS.
>> SHOULD WE LISTEN TO THE
PROFESSOR OF LEISURE OR
DOESN'T HE HAVE SOME KIND OF
--
>> SICKNESS?
IS THAT THE WORD YOU ARE
LOOKING FOR?
>> HE IS SELLING LEISURE.
SHOULD WE TRUST HIM?
>> NOR THE POLITICIANS.
IT IS A PERFECT EXCUSE FOR A
POLITICIAN FOUND HAVING AN
AFFAIR WITH A STAFFER OR
ENGAGED IN CORRUPT ACTIVITIES
TO RESIGN AND GET OUT OF DODGE
BEFORE HE IS PROSECUTED AND HE
SAYS I WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME
WITH MY FAMILY.
THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE DUCKING
WORK TO GET THE SUBSIDEE FOR
OBAMACARE, SUDDENLY THAT IS
THE EXCUSE.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
>> YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WANTED TO
SPEND MORE TIME WITH THEIR
FAMILY?
SQUEAKY FROM.
>> A LITTLE MAN SON FAMILY
HUMOR.
YOU WORK THREE JOBS AND DO YOU
HAVE ANY FREE TIME?
DO YOU FIND THIS MAN INSULTING
TO SOMEBODY LIKE YOU?
>> IT IS LAZY NOW. YOU COULD
HAVE CALLED ME THE SUBSTITUTE
TEACHER OF LAZINESS.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE CLEF.
MORE CLEVER.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TWITTER
THINGS I GET NOW?
DOES HE HAVE TIME TO DO THAT
SHOW?
HOW WILL HE GET OFF FROM
AUNTIE ANNE'S PRETZEL'S.
AT LEAST YOU HAVE A PUFN
LINE.
THE TWITTER PEOPLE DON'T
UNDERSTAND YOU NEED A PUNCH
LINE OR DON'T BOTHER.
LOOK, YOU NAILED THREE IN A
ROW.
THE IS -- THE POINT I AM
TRYING TO MAKE --
>> THE MOMENT SWREE BEEN
WAITING FOR.
>> HE IS CLAIMING WE ARE THE
ONLY INDUSTRIALIZED NATION IN
THE WORLD THAT WORKS AS MUCH
AS WE DO.
I THINK HE IS RIGHT.
I THINK WE SHOULD BE MORE LIKE
THE SPANISH WITH THEIR NAPS IN
THE AFTERNOON.
WHAT IS THE LAST THING THEY
GAVE THEM OTHER THAN THE FLU
AND ADULTERY?
>> THOSE ARE KIND OF NICE.
THE FLU AND YOU GET TO SPEND
TIME AT HOME.
THIS IS YOUR FIRST REAL JOB.
ARE YOU HAPPIER OR MORE
MISERABLE?
>> I HAVE MY GOOD DAYS AND I
HAVE MY BAD DAYS.
>> YOU DO SIT BEHIND ANDY.
>> IT HAS ONLY BEEN SIX DAYS.
>> WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON
THIS?
>> I ACTUALLY THINK SOME
PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY MILLENIALS
WILL BE WORKING MORE TO PAY
FOR THESE INCREASES IN THEIR
HEALTH CARE.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE
WOULD WORK LESS.
IN THE ECONOMY ALONE THERE IS
SO MUCH TO SPEND MONEY ON.
IN TERMS OF LIKE CHASING AFTER
YOUR DREAMS OR DOING OTHER
HOBBIES OR THINGS, THERE IS
JUST NO TIME FOR THAT.
>> AND GENERALLY THOSE DREAMS
SUCK.
WHO WANTS TO BE A PERFORMANCE
ARTIST?
I'M SORRY.
I FORGOT.
ANDY, DO YOU WISH YOU HAD MORE
TIME TO SPEND WITH YOUR FAMILY
AND JESSE YOU KNOW WHERE I AM
GOING WITH THIS.
>> SURE DO.
FOR NOW JUST HOLDUP B.
>> RIGHT AND THE POINT ON
TWITTER IS EXACTLY WHY I HAVE
A NEW POLICY THAT IS BLOCKING
ANYONE THAT MENTIONS CATS TO
ME.
>> AS LONG AS THEY KNOW IT
BOTHERS YOU.
>> I WON'T HAVE TO SEE THEM.
>> YOU ARE TALKING LIKE THEY
ARE NOT HERE.
>> THEY ARE HERE.
>> I AM ALL FOR WORKING LESS.
I DON'T THINK OTHER PEOPLE
SHOULD HAVE TO PAY TO WORK
LESS.
THAT'S THE KEY.
BUT ONE OF THE THINGS
OBAMACARE GETS RIGHT IS THIS
NOTION OF PORTABILITY.
IT IS A PRETTY CRAPPY SYSTEM
WHEN YOUR HEALTH CARE IS TIED
TO YOUR JOB.
>> THAT BEGAN WITH SOCIAL
SECURITY.
>> CONSERVATIVES DON'T
DISAGREE.
PAUL RYAN AND OTHERS HAVE
SAID, LOOK, IF YOU ARE STUCK
IN A DEAD END JOB SIMPLY
BECAUSE YOU NEED THE HEALTH
CARE, THAT'S A CRAPPY SYSTEM.
IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU COULD
LEAVE THAT JOB AND GO TO
ANOTHER JOB.
>> LET'S PUT THE
RESPONSIBILITY WHERE IT
BELONGS WHICH IS LABOR UNIONS
WHICH GOT A TAX-FREE TREATMENT
FOR EMPLOYER PROVIDED HEALTH
CARE IN THE 1940s.
THAT'S WHAT LOCKS PEOPLE IN.
THE LABOR UNIONS WANTED IT AND
THEY GOT IT.
>> AND WE ARE EEARING THIS
TALK FROM THE LEFT.
PEOPLE ARE WORKING FEWER HOURS
AND NOT WORKING FULL TIME, THE
UNIONS HAVE BEEN SILENT ON
THIS SO FAR.
IT SEEMS THAT THAT IS WHAT
THEY OPPOSE.
THEY WANT PEOPLE WORKING FULL
TIME.
THEY WANT THEIR MEMBERS
WORKING FULL TIME.
>> THIS HAS TO BE WEIRD FOR
JESSE AS A COMEDIAN.
>> I HAVEN'T HAD A JOB IN 17
YEARS.
I DIDN'T THINK THAT WAS AN
INTERESTING POINT.
I AM A HISTORY NERD ABOUT HOW
WE SEEM TO BE REVERTING BACK
TO THE 19th CENTURY WITH
LONGER HOURS AND CAPPIER WAGES
AND EVERYTHING.
I THINK IT IS WEIRD.
THEY SET IUPT WITH THE LABOR
UNIONS AND IN THE 30s AND
THE 40s, LIKE, I JUST MADE
THAT UP.
THEY SET IT UP SO PEOPLE WOULD
HAVE MORE LEISURE TEAM SO THEY
COULD SPEND MONEY AND PUT IT
BACK IN THE ECONOMY. IT IS
IRONIC I THINK THAT WE WORK
LIKE DANGEROUS [BLEEP] JOBS
FOR LONG HOURS SO THAT WE CAN
GET MORE LEISURE TIME.
AND WHAT WE HAVE DONE WITH OUR
LEISURE TIME IS WATCH REALITY
SHOWS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE
[BLEEP] DANGEROUS JOBS.
I FIND THAT IRONIC.
>> THAT'S A LONG WAY TO GO.
>> THERE IS A GOOD ARGUMENT
FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE VOLUNTARILY
LEAVING THE LABOR FIRM.
IF PEOPLE WANT TO VOLUNTEER TO
LEAVE THEIR JOBS IT IS EASIER
FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO WORK.
>> PROVIDED THE PEOPLE ARE
LEAVING DON'T ACTUALLY LEAVE
OTHER PEOPLE.
>> THAT'S MY FIRST POINT.
>> AND THAT'S MY CONCLUSION
AND MY TIP.
>> IT HAS TO BE SOME
COMBINATION OF LOGAN'S RUN IS
THE ONLY THING THAT WILL
SAVE.
>> YOU SHOULD BE A WRITER FOR
THE JACK PAR SHOW.
>> THAT'S UNNECESSARY.
HE IS A VERY, VERY TALENTED
YOUNG MAN.
I ENJOYED THAT, MR. PAR.
WAS HIS REVEAL A BIG DEAL?
ON SUNDAY FORMER UNIVERSITY
FOOTBALL PLAYER MICHAEL SAM
TOLD THE WORD HE WAS -- TOLD
THE WORLD HE WAS STRAIGHT.
>> I CAME TO TELL THE WORLD I
AM AN OPENLY GAY, PROUD MAN.
I TOLD MY TEAMMATES THIS PAST
AUGUST THAT I CAME OUT TO MY
TEAMMATES AND THEY TOOK IT
GREAT.
THEY RALLIED AROUND ME AND
THEY SUPPORTED ME AND I
COULDN'T HAVE ASKED FOR BETTER
TEAMMATES.
>> I HAD THAT ONE WRONG.
SAM WHO IS IT THE SOUTHEAST
CONFERENCE'S DEFENSIVE PLAYER
OF THE YEAR IS EXPECTED TO BE
SELECTED IN THE MIDDLE ROUNDS
OF THE DRAFT.
MEANING HE COULD BE THE FIRST
OPENLY GAY PLAYER IN THE
LEAGUE.
AT LEAST NOT SINCE -- GO
AHEAD.
>> CONRAD DOLBA.
>> NOW YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.
KIDDING, CONRAD.
IT SPARKED ANGER ACROSS
AMERICA WITH PRESIDENT OBAMA
LEADING THE CHARGE TWEETING,
CONGRATULATIONS ON LEADING THE
WAY.
THAT'S REAL SPORTS MAN SHIP.
THIS IS THE ONLY SPORT I CARE
ABOUT.
>> JOANNE YOU LIKED THAT,
DIDN'T YOU?
>> I HAVE BUTTERFLIES.
>> LET ME GO TO YOU.
YOU LEAD THE CHARGE TO KEEP
LESBIANS OUT OF THE PAGEANT
TREE.
>> YOU HAVE TO CUT IT OFF
SOMEWHERE.
>> THERE IS A JOKE THERE.
>> OH MY GOSH! I DIDN'T EVEN
REALIZE I DID THAT.
>> WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?
I DON'T CARE.
>> IT IS OUR CULTURE'S
FASCINATION WITH PEOPLE'S
*** ORIENTATION.
BEING A FOOTBALL A PLAYER HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO YOU
LIKE.
THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT ARE
UNCOMFORTABLE BY IT SHOULDN'T
BE.
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
>> THERE IS A CURIOSITY, BUT
IT IS NOT BORN OF DISCOMFORT.
EVERYBODY GETS EXCITED WHEN
THEY FIND OUT SOMEBODY IS
GAY.
THEY NEVER GET EXCITED WHEN
THEY FIND OUT YOU ARE
STRAIGHT.
IF SOMEBODY SAID I HEARD ROCK
HUDSON WAS GAY. HE IS GAY?
>> IF I FOUND OUT TOM CRUZ WAS
STRAIT I WOULD BE EXCITED.
>> BY THE WAY, EVERYBODY
SHOULD KNOW YOU WERE KIDDING
ABOUT CONRAD.
>> I DON'T KNOW IF HE WAS
STRAIGHT OR GAY.
>> I DON'T KNOW EITHER.
>> JESSE, WAS THIS THE HOT
TOPIC AT HOT TOPIC TODAY?
>> THAT ONE WAS OKAY.
>> WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT
OVER THERE?
>> I DID THIS FOR EFFECT.
>> ARE THERE CUE CARDS OVER
THERE?
>> HE IS WONDERING HOW MUCH
TEAM HE HAS.
>> DON'T COME OUT OF THE
CLOSET AND THEN SAY IT IS A
LOAD OFF YOUR CHEST.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS
A BIG DEAL.
WHY ARE PEOPLE GETTING CRAZY
ABOUT IT?
THERE ARE 33 STATES THAT DON'T
LET PEOPLE GET AMERICA.
IT IS NOT CRAZY
CONTROVERSIAL.
HE CAME OUTLAST YEAR.
IT BOTHERS ME BECAUSE EVERYONE
COMPARES HIM TO JACKIE
ROBINSON.
I WENT THROUGH EVERY
CONFERENCE AND NOT ONE DID
JACKIE ROBINSON COPY OUT.
>> ARE YOU EXCITED OR INDIFFER
REPRESENT? REPRESENT-- INDIFFER.
>> I AM INDIFFER RENT.
FOR YEARS PEOPLE ARGUED THAT
*** PREFERENCE WAS A
PRIVATE MATTER.
IT WAS THEIR BUSINESS AND
NOBODY ELSE'S BUSINESS.
THAT'S A POSITION I BELIEVE IN
MYSELF. WHAT WE HAVE IS THE
EXACT OPPOSITE OF PRIVACY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT
MY SEX LIFE?
IT IS NOTHING WE CAN SAY.
DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.
DON'T BOTHER ME WITH IT.
>> ANDY, I THINK YOU THINK IT
IS A BIGGER DEAL THAT -- THAN
I DO.
>> I THINK IT IS GREAT THAT
STRAIGHT PEOPLE DECIDED IT IS
OKAY.
>> WE ARE TALKING ABOUT
MEDIA.
>> I BET MOST GAY PEOPLE WISH
THIS WASN'T A GAY PEOPLE AND
IT IS A STORY, BUT IT IS
LUDICROUS TO SAY THIS IS A
CASE.
>> DON'T BRING HIM INTO THIS.
>> HE SAID STOP PRETENDING
THIS IS THE CASE.
>> I AM NOT REFERRING -- I AM
REFERRING TO THE MEDIA
RESPONSE.
THERE SAN ASSUMPTION THAT WHEN
HE COMES OUT NOT EVERYBODY
WILL LIKE IT.
BUT EVERYBODY IS LIKE, OH
CLAPPING.
HE GETS A TWEET FROM PRESIDENT
OBAMA.
>> THAT'S NOT THE ASSUMPTION.
THE ASSUMPTION IS THAT THIS IS
A GROUND BREAKING THING THAT
WILL HAPPEN IN THE NFL.
THERE WAS A SPORTS ILLUSTRATED
PIECE AND ALL OF THEM SAID OH
HIS DRAFT STOCK IS GOING TO
DROP.
ONE SAID I DON'T THINK
FOOTBALL IS READY FOR AN
OPENLY GAY PLAYER.
YOU CAN'T SAY IT IS A BIG
DEAL.
>> ARE THERE OPENLY GAY
BASEBALL PLAYERS?
>> NO, THERE ARE NO OPENLY GAY
--
>> BASKETBALL PLAYERS?
>> THERE WAS ONE.
>> NOT DURING THEIR CAREER.
IT WAS AFTER THEY ENDED.
>> IT IS VERY RARE.
MAYBE THAT'S WHY.
I AGREE WITH YOU.
WHEN THE SCUTE -- WHEN THE
EXECUTIVES COME OUT AND SAY
THERE WILL BE A PROBLEM THERE
WILL BE A PROBLEM.
I AM FOCUSED ON THE MEDIA
EXCITEMENT OVER THIS.
I FIND IT TIRE SO MANY.
>> I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE DAMNED
IF YOU DO AND DAMNED IF YOU
DON'T.
IF HE DOES GET PICKED FOR THE
DRAFT, GREAT, TWO.
GREAT, WOW.
EVERYBODY IS PUTTING ASIDE HIS
SEXUALITY.
THEY ARE FOCUSING ON HIS
TALENT.
IF HE DOESN'T, OH WAS THAT A
BAD MOVE ON HIS PART?
IS IT BECAUSE HE IS GAY?
>> THAT'S THE POINT.
HE DIDN'T JUST COME OUT.
HE CAME OUT A LONGTIME AGO.
>> HE CAME OUT TO HIS TEAM.
>> HE CAME OUT NOW BECAUSE HE
DIDN'T WANT TO BE OUTED BY
OTHER PEOPLE.
>> BUT THEY KEPT IT TO
THEMSELVES.
>> HE DIDN'T WANT SOME DUMB
REPORTER TO DIG IT UP AND
SPLASH IT.
>> CAN YOU WATCH YOUR
LANGUAGE.
>> IT MEANS FOOTBALL IS
DIFFERENT FROM THE
GOVERNMENT.
IF YOU TOLD 35 PEOPLE ANYTHING
IT WOULD BE ON THE "WASHINGTON
POST" THE NEXT DAY.
>> GOOD POINT.
>> WE CAN AGREE THAT WE CAME
TO NO CONCLUSION.
>> HOLD A PRESS CONFERENCE.
>> COMING UP, SHOULD WE
NEGOTIATE WITH IRAN?
AMBASSADOR JOHN BOLDEN
DISCUSSES HIS LATEST BOOK.
ARE CRACK PIPE VENDING
MACHINES A GOOD IDEA?
MY UNCLE STEVE SAID YES, BUT
HE RUNS A CRACK PIPE VENDING
MACHINE COMPANY.
>>> WE HAVE GRUDGES ABOUT
JUDGES.
THAT'S THE SUBJECT OF
TONIGHT'S --
>> "RED EYE" DEBATE, 2013 LIVE
FROM THE" RED EYE" DEBATE
CENTER.
>> I AM YOUR HOST GREG
GUTFELD.
TONIGHT'S "RED EYE" DEBATE
TOPIC, DO JUDGED EVENTS BELONG
IN THE OLYMPICS?
AT HOT AIR.COM, JAZZ SHAW IF
THAT IS HIS REAL NAME SAYS
NO.
SHAW WRITES, QUOTE, THE WINNER
OF THE COMPETITION SHOULD BE
DETERMINED BY THE CLEAR
OUTCOME DEMONSTRATED BY
SOMEBODY WINNING.
JUST GEF AS YOU -- GIVE AS YOU
SPORTING COMPETITION WHERE WE
DON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR JUDGES
TO ADD UP THEIR OWN
OBSERVATIONS ON THE MERIT OF
THE PLAY.
IT IS NOT A SPORT.
IT IS PERFORMANCE ART.
HE THEN ADDED THAT ALL
ATHLETES WHO FAIL TO QUALIFY
SHOULD BE EXECUTED IN A MOST
PRIMITIVE FASHION.
I FIND THAT DISGUSTING.
I PITCHED THIS STORY AND
PITCHED IT PASSIONATLY.
>> I HAVE SAID SO.
>> THIS IS AN EASY ONE.
I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR
YEARS.
IF THERE ARE JUDGES, IT IS NOT
A SPORT.
THE OLYMPIC MOTTO IS FASTER,
HIGHER, STRONGER AND NOT
WINNER BE A DUDE WHO GAVE UH
HIGHER SCORE.
>> WHAT ABOUT BOXING?
>> BOXING IS NOT A SPORT.
IT IS A SWEET SCIENCE.
IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE NOT
ATHLETES.
I AM NOT SAYING IF YOU ARE AN
ICE DANCER AND THE
SNOWBOARDING GUYS ARE INSANE.
WATCHING THAT STUFF IS
INSANE.
IT IS NOT A SPORT.
STOP SAYING IT IS A SPORT.
>> IS THIS WHY O.J. SIMPSON
GOT OFF?
>> IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH
THAT. HE GOT OFF BECAUSE THE
JURY FOUND THAT THE CASE
PRESENTED AGAINST HIM WAS NOT
CONCLUSIVE AND THAT THERE WAS
REASONABLE DOUBT.
AND HE ENDED UP GOING TO JAIL
ANYWAY.
>> WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
>> I WAS POINTING OUT THAT
THERE WAS A JUDGE AND HE WAS
COMPATIBLE WITH HAVING A
SPORTSMAN IN THE JURY.
GEE NOBODY GOT THAT.
>> I THINK I WILL REVERSE
MYSELF.
I AM IN FAVOR OF THE NEW
SPORTS BECAUSE WE ARE WINNING
GOLD MEDALS IN THEM.
WE BEAT NORWAY IN THE WINTER
OLYMPICS.
>> YOU ARE A MAN OF NO
PRINCIPALS.
>> AND I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR
NOT USING THE LINDBERGH BABY
TRIAL FOR REFERENCE.
>> HE IS MAKING FUN OF MY
SOMEWHAT ANTIQUATED JOKES.
>> SO I GUESS YOU ARE AGAINST
--
WHAT IS WITHRALLY -- HIS
THE SNOWBOARD AND THE SPINS?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO WITH
FASTEST SNOWBOARDER?
>> I LIKE THAT.
>> THEY DO THAT.
>> THAT'S ALL IT SHOULD BE.
>> WHY?
>> I AGREE.
JUDGING REFLECTING OPINION.
THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE MULTIPLE
JUDGES.
YOU JUST NEED ONE TO COME TO A
CONCLUSION.
>> DURING THE COLD WAR THE
SOVIETS USED TO FIX THE ICE
DANCING AND ICE SKATING SO
THEIR PEOPLE ALWAYS WON.
AND UNTIL THAT GETS CORRECTED
AND I SEE NO SIGN YOU CAN
ELIMINATE THAT.
>> IF THEY DON'T FALL, THEY
LAND THEIR SPIN AND THEY DO
THREE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING
ABOUT.
THEN HOW DOES ONE WIN OVER THE
OTHER IF THEY BOTH STICK THEIR
ROUTINES?
>> I HATE THAT YOU ARE
BRINGING UP THE PAGEANT
WORLD.
SHOULD IT HAVE BEEN BETTER FOR
YOU TO COMPETE IN THINGS?
YOU HAVE TO RACE THE OTHER
WOMEN?
>> I WOULD HAVE WON.
I WOULD HAVE WON BOTH.
I AM THAT COMPETITIVE.
YOU WOULD HAVE DRUGGED YOUR
ADVERSARIES.
>> BEAUTY IS PERCEIVED.
MY MALICIOUSNESS IS REAL.
>> THERE IS A T-SHIRT.
WELL, I THINK IN MY OPINION
JUDGES ARE TOO DIFFERENT.
WE HAVE SEEN ENOUGH OF THAT.
MAYBE WE SHOULD BE JUDGING THE
JUDGES.
SHOULD WE DO AN EVENT OF
JUDGES?
>> WHAT ABOUT IN BOXING?
IF YOU GET KNOCKED OUTDOES
PRESIDENT IT MAKE IT A -- OUT
DOESN'T IT MAKE IT A SPORT?
>> THEY SHOULD GO UNTIL
SOMEBODY IS KNOCKED OUT.
>> THAT WOULD BE MY KIND OF
SPORT.
>> YOU HAVE A REF ENFORCE THE
RULES AND THEN BOX UNTIL THERE
IS NO MORE.
THE ONLY EXCEPTION I WILL MAKE
IS FOR THE BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL SPORT OF
SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING.
>> THERE IS NEVER A TECHNICAL
KNOCKOUT IN *** FIGH TIE NG.
IT IS A FACT THAT ***
FIGHTING GOES UNTIL SOMEBODY
DIES.
>> A HORRIBLE SPORT.
>> COMING UP, IS CHINA THE
BIGGEST THREAT TO AMERICA?
JOHN BOLDEN DISCUSSES HIS
LATEST BOOK.
>> WHAT IS UP WITH DENNIS
RODMAN?
SOURCES SAY SOMETHING.
>>> DOES AN UNLOVED SELFIE
HURT MENTAL HEALTH?
YOUNG THAIS WHO DO NOT GET
ENOUGH POSITIVE FEEDBACKS ON
THEIR PICTURES ARE
ENCOUNTERING EMOTIONAL
PROBLEMS AND THAT IS BAD FOR
THE FUTURE OF THE COUNTRY.
INSTAGRAM IS USUALLY POPULAR
WITH A MALL IN BANGKOK LEADING
THE WORLD'S MOST INSTAGRAM
PLACES.
A LACK OF LIFE CAN CAUSE YOUTH
TO LOSE SELF-CONFIDENCE.
THE NUMBER OF NEW GENERATION
LEADERS WILL FALL SHORE AND
HINDER -- FALL SHORT AND
HINDER THE COUNTRY'S
CREATIVITY AND INNOVATION.
JESSE, I GO TO YOU FIRST
BECAUSE HAVE YOU NO
SELF-ESTEEM.
IF LACK OF FEEDBACK ON SELFIES
CAUSES YOUR COUNTRY'S
PROBLEMS, DON'T YOU DESERVE
IT?
IF THIS IS WHERE YOUR COUNTRY
IS DEPENDENT?
>> I AM GLAD THAILAND HAS
THEIR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.
IF YOU WILL CALL SOMETHING BAD
FOR A TEEN AGER'S SELF-ESTEEM
MAYBE YOU SHOULD NOT LEAD THE
WORLD FOR UNDERAGE SEX
TOURISM.
YOU SEEM TO HAVE YOUR FINGER
ON THE PULSE ON WHAT IS BAD
FOR TEENS.
>> AND THE GOVERNMENT OF
THAILAND IS COLLAPSING.
THE COUNTRY IS UNGOVERNABLE.
PEOPLE ARE DEMANDING THAT THE
ELECTED GOVERNMENT STEP DOWN
BECAUSE THEY TAKE TOO MANY
SELFIES.
>> IT IS NICE OF YOU TO THINK
WE ALL MAY HAVE NOTICED THAT.
>> SELFIES OR NOT BEING POLITE
ANYMORE?
>> IT WAS NICE AND YOU GAVE US
MORE CREDIT THAN WE DESERVE.
>> DO SELFIES HAVE A ROLE?
COULD SELFIES BE CAUSING
THIS?
>> IT WAS SET BY OUR PRESIDENT
AND YOUNG THAI'S WERE WATCHING
THE PRESIDENT AND THE PRIME
MINISTER OF DENMARK WHO IS OF
THE FEMALE PERSUASION AND
TAKING THEIR OWN SELFIE.
I BLAME IT ON OWE -- OBAMA.
>> IMPEACHMENT WILL BEGIN
TOMORROW.
THE ENTIRE COUNTRY IS LIKE A
12-YEAR-OLD GIRL.
>> YEAH.
THEY ARE NOT DOING WELL.
IT IS LIKE GOOD PARENTING
101.
YOU DON'T BASE YOUR SELF-WORTH
OFF OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK
OF YOU.
BUT WE ALL LIKE THE APPROVAL
OF OTHERS.
I GET EXCITED IF I HAVE SOME
COMMENTS THAT ARE NICE.
BUT I HAVE A THEORY.
POSSIBLY THE LESS LIKES YOU
HAVE THE COOLER YOU ARE.
PEOPLE ARE JEALOUS OF YOU.
THAT'S WHY YOU USE SOCIAL
MEDIA IS TO SHOW HOW AWESOME
YOUR LIFE IS.
SO JEALOUS PEOPLE ARE NOT
GOING TO LIKE YOUR STUFF.
THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT THEY RECALL ABOUT IT.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
I NOTICED I AM GETTING A LOT
MORE UNLIKES.
THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE I AM
EXPLODING.
I AM JUST EXPLODING, ANDY.
YOU TAKE A LOT OF SHELFIES,
PICTURES OF PEOPLE'S SHELVES.
IT IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR
EXPRESSION.
>> CALL IT WEIRD.
AS YOU KNOW, GREG, I TRY TO
GIVE POSITIVE FEEDBACK TO AS
MANY YOUNG THAI'S AS I CAN.
I AM DOING MY PART TO SAVE
THIS COUNTRY AND TO ENSURE
THERE ARE FUTURE READERS.
I WOULD LIKE SOME RECOGNITION
FOR IT.
I WOULD LIKE THE PRESIDENT OR
THE KING.
>> THERE IS A NICE NOTE FROM
HIM OR HER.
>> MAYBE YOU SHOULD RUN ON A
PLATFORM THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE
SELFIES, BUT LOWERING THE
PRICE OF A DEAD MONKEY.
>> I THINK YOU ARE OVER YOUR
QUOTA.
>> I HAVEN'T DONE IT IN FOUR
WEEKS.
>> THEY WON'T GO AWAY.
>> REMEMBER LAST WEEK WE
TALKED ABOUT ROLLOVER.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?
IT IS LACK OF OPPORTUNITY
REPLACED BY IDOL
SELF-WORSHIP.
THERE IS NO MARKET TO FIND
JOBS.
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO FIND
SELF-ESTEEM WHICH THEY CAN'T
GET THROUGH SAW CHIEF MEANT.
THROUGH ACHIEVE ACHIEVEMENT.
PRESIDENT OBAMA'S NOMINEE
COULD BE THE BEST AM
AMBASSADOR TO AIR GENERAL
DINA.
THEY ARE AS QUALIFIED AS A
CROUTON.
HE ADMITTED DURING A SENATE
HEARING THAT HE HAS NEVER BEEN
TO ARGENTINA.
>> HAVE YOU BEEN TO
ARGENTINA?
GEE I HAVEN'T HAD THE
OPPORTUNITY --
>> I HAVEN'T HAD AN
OPPORTUNITY YET.
>> AMAZING.
HE IS THE LATEST QUESTIONABLE
NOMINEE AFTER OBAMA'S PICK TO
THE AMBASSADOR OF NORWAY WHO
ADMITTED HE WASN'T IN THAT
COUNTRY EITHER.
THE NOMINEE WAS A SACK OF OLD
POTATOES.
AMBASSADOR, YOU ARE GOING TO
EXPLODE.
YOU WERE AN AMBASSADOR.
DO YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE
COUNTRY?
CAN YOU LOOK IT UP ON WEBBING
PEAKED -- WIKIPEDIA?
>> I THINK THE WAY THEY ARE
BEHAVING, THEY DESERVE THIS
GUY.
>> THAT IS TRUE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON,
BUT I AGREE.
>> HAD YOU EVER BEEN TO THE
U.N BEFORE YOU WERE NAMED?
>> TOO MANY TIMES.
>> YOU ARE OUR LAST REAL
AMBASSADOR.
YOU PUT THE BAD *** IN
AMBASSADOR.
JESSE IN 1990 -- 1998 YOU WERE
THE ORANGE JULIUS AMBASSADOR
TO EVERY MALL IN JERSEY.
>> ONE OF THE LOCATIONS I
PULLED UP AND IT WAS CLOSED.
I NEVER NOTICED THERE WAS A
BAD *** AMBASSADOR.
>> THERE HAVE BEEN WORSE
AMBASSADORS. CYNTHIA STROM
AND SHE SPENT TONS OF MONEY ON
*** AND LUXURY HOUSING.
>> ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT
THAT?
>> I SAY THERE HAVE BEEN
WORSE.
>> HOW ABOUT O.J. SIMPSON?
HE WAS NEVER IN A HERSELF -- A
HERTZ RENTAL CAR.
AND BY THE WAY, THAT'S NOT
NECESSARILY A RECENT
REFERENCE.
>> I DID IT BECAUSE YOU DID
YOUR O.J. SIMPSON JOKE.
>> AS A FORMER MS. NEW YORK
WHO LIVED IN JERSEY, YOU KIND
OF MUST SYMPATHIZE.
>> I AM FROM NEW JERSEY.
I REPRESENTED NEW YORK AT MISS
USA.
GYRE LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF OUR
--
>> LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF THE
FOOTBALL TEAM.
>> I STARTED A SUPPORT GROUP
WITH THIS GENTLEMAN YOU JUST
SAW.
WE ARE LOOKING FOR MEMBERS.
>> THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO
PRETEND TO BE THINGS THEY
AREN'T.
>> EXACTLY.
WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE, YOU
GET ON THE PHONE AS SOON AS
YOU GET THE CALL BECAUSE YOU
ARE UP FOR THIS JOB AND YOU
CALL YOUR TRAVEL AGENT AND YOU
GET TO ARGENTINA.
VACATION, WORK.
>> HE COULD HAVE BEEN DOWN
THERE OR GONE TO AN ARGENTINE
STEAK HOUSE.
THEY ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE.
YOU WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN THE
JOB.
>> OR WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE
JOB.
>> LET'S GO TO A LLAMA FARM.
>> I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT
LLAMAS.
ONCE THEY SPIT ON ME.
IT WAS DARK IN THAT BACK
HOUSE.
ANYWAY, ANDY HE WAS AN OBAMA
BUNKED -- BUNDLER WHICH HE
MEANS HIM INTERNET.
>> IT WOULD BE LIKE MAKING
TIME WARNER CABLE AN
AMBASSADOR WHICH WOULD LEAD TO
WAR.
TIME WARNER CABLE YOU ARE THE
[BLEEP] WORST.
>> I AM TRYING TO WORK IT
OVER.
>> IF HE WOULD HAVE GONE TO
ARGENTINA LIKE LAST WEEK WAS
IT MARCO RUBIO WHO SAID HAVE
YOU BEEN TO --
>> EXACTLY.
THAT'S ALL HE HAD TO DO.
MAYBE BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE DIDN'T KNOW. EVERYBODY
WANTS TO BE LIKE FRANCE.
HE WANTED THE EASY PEASEY
PLAY.
WHERE THE HELL IS ARGENTINA.
ISN'T THERE A MUSICAL?
THAT'S CALLED NOT USING YOUR
BRAIN.
>> ALL RIGHT.
IT IS TIME TO TAKE A BREAK.
WE WILL HAVE MORE WHEN WE COME
BACK.
AS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD, I HAVE
A NEW BOOK COMING UP, MARCH
18th.
IF YOU HAVEN'T YOU ARE NOT
COOL.
THE BOOK IS CALLED "NOT COOL.
IF YOU ORDERED IT, YOU ARE
COOL.
31 CITIES, JESSE.
31 CITIES IN 11 DAYS.
>> IT IS IN THE ACTUAL BUS.
>> I WAS FISHING FOR A MIDGET
JOKE.
I WOULD LOVE TO MEET SOME OF
YOU.
GO TO G GUTFELD.COM FOR THE
TOUR SCHEDULE AND WHERE I AM
GOING FOR.
>>> SLAM DUNK THE DRUNKEN
DUMPS.
DURING LAST MONTH'S VISIT TO
NORTH KOREA DENNIS RODMAN
THANKED THE STAFF IN A CUSTOM
MARY WAY, BY VOMITING AND DEAF
DEAF -- AND DEFICAT NIE G IN
THE HALLWAY.
HE WAS DRUNK THE WHOLE STAY
AND THE NIGHT BEFORE HE LEFT
FOR THE U.S. HE WAS DRUNK AND
UNCONSCIOUS AND VOMITED
EVERYWHERE HE TURNED AND HE
URINATED AND EMPTY THE THE
BOWELS IN THE HALLWAY.
THE STENCH WAS HORRIBLE.
SURPRISE.
PEOPLE ARE CRITICIZING NOT
ONLY RODMAN, BUT KIM JONG-UN
SAYING NO ONE WOULD BE A
FRIEND WITH RODMAN, THE ANIMAL
HE IS.
HE WAS ASKED TO LEAVE THE
COUNTRY AND MAY NOT RETURN
BEFORE COMPLETING REHAB AND/OR
DYING.
AMBASSADOR, I LOVE THE FACT
THAT PEOPLE SAID HOW CAN YOU
HANG OUT WITH SOMEBODY LIKE
KIM JONG-UN?
HE IS A HORRIBLE PERSON.
THEY ARE GOING HOW CAN YOU
HANG OUT WITH DENNIS RODMAN?
HE IS A HORRIBLE PERSON.
>> THE CITIZENS OF NORTH KOREA
ARE SMARTER THAN KIM JONG-UN.
BUT I THINK WE ESTABLISHED
THAT THERE IS PROBABLY A
VACANCY IN OUR AMBASSADORSHIP
TO ARGENTINA.
>> JESSE, HAVE YOU BEEN THROWN
OUT OF HOTELS.
>> A LOT OF TIMES.
>> DO YOU THINK THIS IS
HELPFUL FOR AMERICA?
>> I DON'T THINK IT IS.
HE IS THE ONLY AMERICAN WHO
HAS BEEN THERE.
WHAT HE HAS DONE IS
CONTRIBUTED TO THE NORTH
KOREAN STEREO TYPE OF
>> DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD
IDEA?
>> MAYBE YOU HAVE TO DO SOME
TESTS.
>> IS THIS DANGEROUS?
>> IT IS DANGEROUS AND I AM
AFRAID IT WILL CATCH ALL OVER
CANADA.
THE LAST THING ROB FORD NEEDS
IS ANOTHER REASON TO LOVE
VENDING MACHINES.
>> THAT'S A CRACK JOKE.
>> THAT WAS GREAT.
>> JOANNE --
>> I AM NOT ANSWERING.
>> I AM GOING TO DO THIS ONCE
A WEEK.
>> I'M SORRY.
>> LOOK AT THIS THIS WAY I AM
FINE WITH YOUR LAST NAME AND I
SCREW UP THE EASY PART.
>> WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT
YOU?
>> I HAVE PROBLEMS.
>> AT LEAST YOU DON'T HAVE
CRACK PROBLEMS.
THAT WOULD BE WORSE.
>> YES.
>> YOU KNOW, I -- SOME PEOPLE
WORRY ABOUT THE PIPES WILL BE
ENABLING FOR ADDICTS, BUT I
DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY.
IF YOU ARE GOING TO SMOKE
CRACK YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT.
IF IT IS GOING TO BENEFIT YOUR
HEALTH, I DON'T KNOW.
THIS DOES PRESIDENT -- THIS
DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
>> YOU TRIED THOUGH.
ANDY, DO YOU CONDEMN THEIR
EFFORTS TO HELP THESE ADDICTS
1234*.
>> NO, I CONDEMN YOU.
>> WE TALK ABOUT A SIMILAR
THING WITH SAN FRANCISCO.
>> IT IS A CITY.
>> IT IS THE CITY I DON'T LIVE
IN AND A COUNTRY I DON'T LIVE
IN.
I AM ALL FOR THEM TRYING
THIS.
THEY CLAIM IT IS CHEAPER TO
SELL PRIEPS TO CRACK ADDICTS
FOR 25 CENTS THAN IT IS FOR
THEM TO GET *** AND HEPITITIS
THAT COST TAXPAYERS THE
MONEY.
>> I DON'T THINK IT IS TRUE.
MAYBE I AM WRONG.
>> I AM NOT A CANADIAN
TAXPAYER.
>> I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD
LEAVE AN OUTDOOR RECTEPACLE
THAT COLLECTS QUARTERS.
>> THEY SAY IT IS NOT BOLTED
TO THE GROUND SO PEOPLE ARE
SHAKING IT TO GET THEM FOR
FREE.
>> YOU CAN'T EVEN TRUST A
CRACK HEAD TO BUY A CRACK
PIPE.
>> I AM NOT BUYING A CRACK
ADDICT WOULD DO THAT.
>> WHY ARE WE SMEARING THE
CRACK HEADS OF CANADA?
BIG THANK YOU TO JOANNE, JESSE