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Day 74 after the Apocalypse
-Hey, is this your mom or my mom? -My mom.
-Sure? -Yeah, sure.
'Cause when you took it out of the freezer what was on the tag?
My mom was on it.
-Because you put the tags on them. -Yeah of course, damnit.
Okay, so this, this is not my mom.
No, that's my mom. Look at the color, it's way blacker.
-Don't be so annoying and eat. -Okay.
Because remember that when they died and we froze them to nourish us for months, years if we manage well,
-it was clear that you'd eat my mom and I, your mom. -Of course.
Because if we each eat our own, what is that?
"Retro-alimentation."
Zombies
So, let's make love or what?
You're already back to that, all day the same thing.
No, we don't make love!
Damnit, dude. Man, really, I don't know what's going on with you.
It's just us, buddy. We're here like slaves killing zombies all day. What am I asking of you?
Just that when one gets to the dining room there's some close contact, some affection, a little rest from being a warrior.
I don't know, something. Nothing else.
I don't like to.
"I don't like to." Well, it's not that you like to. It's not about liking to.
It's the *** Apocalypse and it's just you and I in the world.
What am I asking of you? Think about it! What am I asking of you?
A kiss, some affection, a little bit of *** penetration. It doesn't seem to me that it's so much.
But what are you talking about the Apocalypse? You asked me that before, smart guy.
Well, that doesn't count because that was your bachelor party,
and we had been drinking and from the atmosphere I got carried away, I got excited.
And that time at mass?
-The same thing happened to me. -No it didn't.
Well, I think it would be good so we could relax because lately, I don't know if you've noticed, but we argue a lot.
-We argue a lot because I don't want you to sodomize me. -Here we go.
Okay? Besides, I don't want them to call me a *** afterwards.
But who's going to call you a ***? What are you afraid of if there's no one else and the whole world is zombies? What are you afraid of, huh?
Look, I said no. And when I say no, I mean no!
You said we were saving that for my birthday.
No, no. I said we were saving it for when we had something to celebrate.
***!
*** your-...!
Well you are a little bit ***.
One year later
That's for coming, friends.
One time I had a living human girlfriend. Did you know that? Have I told this? Yeah, yeah.
A living human girlfriend. And it's hard for us.
It's an achievement because, of course, we smell really bad.
That's what happens from rotting. Deodorant doesn't work.
It's like cleaning *** with a roll-on. Cleaning the ***. *** wins, always.
Sometimes we're… man, this has happened, we're a group of zombies in an elevator, and you pray for someone to let out a loud fart to relax the tension.
Damn, what a stench!
I got a living girl that had no sense of smell.
From the drugs, ***, she was nervous. She was very nervous.
Of course, the whole time like she was shaking like this, like spasms.
I saw her... we were made for each other because I'm slow-zombie, classic George Romero style. More like this.
And she was more 28 Days Later, modern. She was like...
And so love was born.
I went to eat dinner at her parents house.
Her dad asks me, "What do you do for a living?"
I say, "I go through the streets looking for people to eat their head."
He says, "What are you? A Jehovah's Witness?"
He says, "I don't approve of your relationship."
I say, "Relationship, no. What if I just mess around with her casually?"
Not that either. This guy wasn't happy with anything.
But, oh well. In the end what did I eat for dinner?
His face, to be specific�