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- PREVIOUSLY ON BELOW DECK...
- HEY, CJ. - KAT'S BEEN DRINKING.
IT'S NOT TOO TOUGH TO FIGURE OUT.
- KAT WANTS TO GO TO THE BAR.
- I'M CONCERNED THAT SHE'S GONNA LOSE HER JOB.
I KNOW THAT YOU WERE DRINKING.
I'M GIVING YOU THE OPTION
TO GO TO LEE YOURSELF AND TELL HIM
OR I GO TO HIM AND TELL HIM.
- TREVOR AND I STARTED DATING TWO YEARS AGO TODAY.
- I WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WOULD BE MY MAN.
- YOU'RE INSANE. OF COURSE.
- I AM PRESCRIBED ANXIETY MEDICATION.
SO--EXCUSE ME.
I'M A LITTLE EMBARRASSED THAT I HAVE TO DO THIS.
- IT'S ALL RIGHT.
- YOU KNOW, I ASKED YOU POINT-BLANK LAST NIGHT
WHAT WAS GOING ON, AND YOU FLAT-OUT LIED TO ME.
- THE WORST PART ABOUT IT IS ADRIENNE IS MY ROOMMATE.
I'M LIVING WITH THE DEVIL.
- I KNOW I MIGHT NOT BE YOUR FAVORITE PERSON RIGHT NOW.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
HEY, KAT?
THE CAPTAIN WANTS TO SEE YOUR PRESCRIPTION...
- OKAY. - FIRST THING.
- REALLY, ADRIENNE?
WHAT'S THE RUSH?
CAN I OPEN MY EYES FIRST?
- I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW MINUTES, OKAY?
THIS SITUATION WITH KAT PROBABLY TOUCHES CLOSER TO HOME
BECAUSE HER AND I LIVE IN THE SAME ROOM,
AND SO THE TENSION IS JUST PALPABLE AT THIS POINT.
GET UP, SWEETIE. - OKEYDOKEY.
THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL THAT ME AND HER
ARE GOING TO WORK THINGS OUT
IF I'M STILL IN THE SAME ROOM AS HER.
I JUST WANT TO STRANGLE HER
AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT.
I GOTTA GO SHOW MY MEDICATION TO CAPTAIN LEE.
IT'S SO EMBARRASSING,
BUT MAYBE HE DOES CARE ABOUT MY SITUATION A LITTLE BIT.
SO WHERE IS THE CAPTAIN?
- I BELIEVE HE'S UPSTAIRS. - THANKS MUCH.
DUN, DUN, DUN.
GOOD MORNING. - WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, KID?
- JUST SHOWING YOU MY PRESCRIPTION.
- OKAY.
- NOW, EVERYBODY ON THE FRICKIN' BOAT
KNOWS THAT I HAVE AN ANXIETY ISSUE
AND I TAKE MEDICATION FOR IT.
- THANK YOU. - THANK YOU.
- ONE AT A TIME, PLEASE. - GOOD, THANK YOU..
- YEAH, IT SAYS ON THERE, "MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS."
- YEAH.
- SO I WOULD IMAGINE ANY ALCOHOL
THAT GOES WITH THAT WOULD PROBABLY KNOCK YOU
RIGHT ON YOUR ***. - OH, YEAH.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO DRINK ON THIS.
- [chuckles] I WOULD-- NO, I WOULD SAY NOT.
- I HATE ADRIENNE FOR THIS.
SHE JUST CROSSED A LINE.
- OKAY. THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- A LITTLE BREEZY, BOYS?
- A LITTLE BREEZY.
A LITTLE HARD TO CONTROL THIS TENDER SOMETIMES.
- THAT'S NOT GOOD. - HOLY [bleep].
- MAN OVERBOARD. I GOT TO SECURE THIS.
- CUT HIS LINE LOOSE, LET HIM GO GET IT.
NO, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CUT HIS LINE LOOSE.
HE'S GOT IT.
- GOD[bleep] IT.
- HOW 'BOUT THAT BREEZE?
- MICHAEL, HEY-O! - OH, MY GOD.
LET ME GET TO HIM.
- WHAT ARE HIS PREFERENCES? DOES HE LIKE SAUVIGNON BLANC...
- I'M GONNA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW. - AND LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH?
- WOW, HE IS PRETTY HOT.
- REGARDLESS OF WHATEVER SITUATION EXISTS
BETWEEN SAM AND KAT AND I AND THEIR ALLIANCE,
WHICH SEEMS SO HIGH SCHOOL TO ME,
I'M STILL GONNA GET MY JOB DONE.
WE'RE STILL GONNA PUSH THROUGH
TO GET THROUGH THE REST OF THESE TRIPS.
- WHY DID HE PUT HIS NAME AS PAPA?
- I DON'T KNOW. 'CAUSE HE'S A BOSS.
- HE'S ENGAGED TO THE BLONDE.
- THIS ONE? AMBER?
- OH, MY GOD. HE LIKES DORITOS.
ME TOO. AND LUCKY CHARMS?
- [laughs]
- ALEKS, LEE.
- GO AHEAD, LEE.
- CAN I GET YOU AND ADRIENNE UP IN THE WHEELHOUSE, PLEASE?
- ROGER THAT. ON MY WAY.
- GOOD MORNING. - MORNING.
ALEKS, THE SUN AIN'T SHINING IN YET.
OKAY, I'M JUST LOOKING AT THE WEATHER
AND THE WEATHER SUCKS.
WE'VE GOT IN EXCESS OF 20 KNOTS ALL DAY LONG,
SEAS 9 TO 12 FEET.
SO WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
NO ST. BARTS, SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO...
- BUMMER.
- GO TO PLAN B AND TRY AND MAKE SURE THE GUESTS ARE HAPPY.
I'LL BREAK THE NEWS TO THEM WHEN THEY GET ONBOARD.
- THE ONE THING WE CAN'T GUARANTEE
IN YACHTING IS WEATHER.
WHEN IT IS ROUGH, YOU CAN'T GO OUT.
THESE PEOPLE CAN'T CANCEL LAST-MINUTE, YOU KNOW,
THEY SIGNED A CONTRACT, SO WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE
OUR CREW IS ON THEIR GAME BECAUSE THESE GUESTS
ARE PAYING FOR TOP-DOLLAR SERVICE,
AND THEY'RE GONNA GET IT.
- GET AFTER IT. - YEAH.
- WE'LL GET HER DONE. - WE GOTTA BE READY.
- WE'LL GET HER DONE, CAP. - THANK YOU.
[drill whirs]
- MARGOT WILL BRING CAKES TONIGHT.
RUN COSTS.
SO I WAS THINKING ABOUT...
ASKING SOMEONE TO SWITCH ROOMS WITH ME.
- THAT SOMEONE BEING ME?
- NO! [laughs]
- I FEEL A LITTLE BIT BAD THAT KAT'S HAVING TO GET INTO IT
WITH ADRIENNE RIGHT NOW, BUT, MAN,
AM I THANKFUL THAT IT'S NOT ME.
- THE ONLY PERSON THAT WOULD BE FEASIBLE WOULD BE BEN.
[drill whirs] IT'S LIKE A 50/50.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT-- - FOR BEN
TO SWITCH ROOMS WITH YOU?
- YEAH.
- WOULD--CJ WOULDN'T SWITCH WITH YOU?
- [gasps] DO YOU THINK HE WOULD?
- NO.
ONLY 'CAUSE HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME.
CJ DOES GET REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING,
BUT BECAUSE WE'RE STUCK ON THIS BOAT FOR A FEW WEEKS
AND, LIKE, THE PICKINGS ARE SLIM,
I'M GONNA MAKE DO WITH WHAT I HAVE.
- ALL RIGHT, I'M JUST GONNA GO OVER THIS QUICKLY,
AND IF I HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, I'LL ASK YOU.
SO WE'RE DOING LIGHT FARE WHEN THE GUESTS ARRIVE--
[chuckles]
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT A LIST TOGETHER JUST ME AND YOU.
- SO WHAT DO YOU THINK SO FAR, DAVE?
SEE YOURSELF DOING THIS EVER?
- NOT ALONE.
MIGHT HAVE TO BRING MY BOY IN.
EVERY DAY GETS HARDER AND HARDER BEING AWAY FROM TREVOR.
WE JUST GOT ENGAGED.
I'M HIS FIANCE,
AND WE'VE STILL GOT SO MANY WEEKS
BEFORE I GET TO SEE HIM.
IT'S JUST KILLING ME.
- LOOKS GOOD, BOY.
GOOD JOB.
THIS IS WHY I LOVE THE GUYS.
THEY DO THEIR WORK.
THEY DON'T ***. - [laughs]
- ♪ SLIP AND SLIDE ♪
- I'M GOING TO ASK YOU FOR A FAVOR.
- OKAY.
- I KNOW I'M NOT YOUR FAVORITE PERSON RIGHT NOW.
- OKAY.
- I REALLY NEED YOU TO LOSE THE ATTITUDE WITH ME...
- OKAY. - AND THE SNARKINESS
AND THE SIDE COMMENTS AND THE BULL[bleep].
- THE SNARKINESS, BULL[bleep], SIDE COMMENTS.
WHATEVER ELSE, I GOT IT.
- OTHERWISE, YOU CAN PACK YOUR STUFF AND GO,
AND WE'LL GET YOU A PLANE TICKET OUT OF HERE.
- OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
YOU RATTED ME OUT WHEN YOU DIDN'T NEED TO.
YOU LITTLE RAT. [chittering]
YOU'RE SO QUICK TO THROW ME OFF THE BOAT,
BUT YET, YOU'VE GIVEN SAM THREE WEEKS.
YOU GIVE ME TWO DAYS OF NOTICE.
FAIR?
I'VE ONLY BEEN WORKING WITH YOU FOR THREE WEEKS
AND BEEN DOING A GREAT JOB, ACCORDING TO YOUR STANDARDS.
UP UNTIL THIS POINT,
ADRIENNE HAS BEEN SUPPORTIVE TOWARDS ME,
AND WHEN IT'S ME AND SAM WORKING TOGETHER,
WE WORK GREAT.
THE PROBLEM ALL ALONG IS CLEARLY ADRIENNE.
- WHAT I CAN'T DEAL WITH IS YOUR ATTITUDE.
- I'M SORRY THAT I'M CRANKY THIS MORNING.
IT'S GONNA TAKE A COUPLE HOURS FOR ME TO WASH IT OUT,
GET RID OF THE ATTITUDE, OKAY?
- I SEE ADRIENNE IS STRUGGLING WITH KAT RIGHT NOW.
BEING THE HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT, YOU KNOW,
SOMETIMES YOU GET STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND HARD PLACE.
AND I HAVE SYMPATHY FOR HER BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
IT'S NOT LIKE SHE WENT OUT OF HER WAY TO GO AGAINST KAT.
- IT'S NOT THE WAY THAT I WANT IT TO BE.
- WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
I MEAN, IF I CAN'T PUT UP WITH YOU EITHER,
THEN I'LL JUST GO.
SO IT'S KIND OF A TWO-WAY STREET, ISN'T IT, NOW?
I'M OVER THIS.
YOU [bleep] SUCK AT YOUR JOB.
ANYTHING ELSE?
- NOPE. THAT'S IT.
- LET'S GET READY.
THE GUESTS ARE ON THEIR WAY.
- ALL RIGHT. WHAT ARE WE WEARING?
EPAULETS AND STUFF?
- YEAH.
- HOW ARE WE DOING? - GOOD AFTERNOON.
- HELLO, HOW ARE YA? - HOW ARE YOU DOING, SIR?
- THESE GUYS COME IN THERE
WITH THE BIG HANDSHAKE AND "GRRR.
I'M GONNA CRUSH YOUR HAND,"
AND I'M, LIKE, WHEN GUYS CARRY THEMSELVES
LIKE THEIR ARMS ARE SO BIG
THAT THEY CAN'T EVEN WIPE THEIR OWN BUTT,
IT'S JUST LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
JUST GIVE ME YOUR BAG."
- WE'LL MOVE ONTO THE VESSEL.
- THE GUYS ARE ALL YOUNGER, YOU KNOW, ENTREPRENEURS,
BUSINESSPEOPLE.
MIKE, THE PRIMARY CHARTER GUEST,
HAS SOME BEDBUG REMOVAL COMPANY.
WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT YOU CAN MAKE MILLIONS KILLING BEDBUGS,
THE LITTLE TINY LITTLE CRITTERS IN YOUR BED.
- HEY, GUYS.
all: HEY. - HOW YOU DOING?
- GOOD, THANKS. - MICHAEL?
- MICHAEL BATENBURG. HOW ARE YOU?
- ADRIENNE, NICE TO MEET YOU.
- PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, ADRIENNE.
- WELCOME, MICHAEL. - AMBER?
ADRIENNE.
- HI. - PAPA?
- PAPA. - THAT'S WHAT YOU GO BY?
- YEAH. - AWESOME.
VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
- SO ALLEGEDLY, PAPA MADE ALL HIS MONEY
BY SELLING A BOOK ON HOW TO PICK UP CHICKS.
[laughs]
- YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A LITTLE START WITH BUBBLES.
- WELCOME ABOARD. - THANK YOU, CAP.
THANK YOU, GUYS.
[laughter]
- ALL RIGHT.
- YOU GUYS WANT TO HAVE A SEAT?
I HAVE SOMETHING TO DISCUSS WITH YOU.
AS YOU'VE PROBABLY NOTICED, IT'S JUST A TAD BREEZY.
- RIGHT.
- YOU GUYS HAVE GOT, LIKE,
10- TO 12-FOOT SEAS OUT THERE.
- OH, NO. - OH, WOW.
- REALLY, REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE,
AND UNFORTUNATELY,
ST. BARTS IS GONNA BE OUT OF THE QUESTION.
- OH, UNFORTUNATE. - AW, MAN.
- ON THE FLIP SIDE,
WE'VE GOT SOME GREAT STUFF PLANNED FOR YOU.
WE'LL GET YOU SETTLED IN.
HAVE SOME MORE CHAMPAGNE, AND START HAVING SOME FUN.
- DON'T BE WORRIED.
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU, I PROMISE.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH. - THANK YOU.
- WE'RE NOT LEAVING THE DOCK.
WE GOTTA MAKE THIS EXTRA BIG, EXTRA SPECIAL FOR THEM.
YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT TO PULL OUT A BAG OF TRICKS.
- CAN I MAKE YOU ANYTHING TO DRINK?
- DO YOU HAVE ROOT BEER?
- DID YOU PUT IT ON YOUR PREFERENCE LIST?
- YEAH. - YEAH, THEN WE'LL HAVE IT.
- AWESOME.
- IT'S MY JOB AS STEWARDESS
TO MAKE SURE THAT MY GUESTS ARE HAPPY.
IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME CHARTERING A BOAT?
- HE CHARTERED A BOAT FOR ONE OF OUR DATES BEFORE.
- WOW. - YEAH.
- THAT'S REALLY IMPRESSIVE.
- I THINK IT WAS OUR FOURTH DATE.
- I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A SUGAR DADDY OF MY OWN.
HE'S ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR HER,
YOU KNOW, ANYTHING THAT SHE NEEDS.
"LET'S GO TO THE ISLANDS, LET'S TRAVEL,
AND LET'S GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER."
- WE ACTUALLY GOT ENGAGED ON VALENTINE'S DAY
IN THE MALDIVES... - WOW.
- WHICH IS A SERIES OF ISLANDS SOUTH OF INDIA.
- WOW. - YEAH, SO--
- HE RENTED A PRIVATE ISLAND. - REALLY?
- YEAH, WE CALLED IT "AWESOMENESS ISLAND."
- THAT IS SO NICE.
- YOU CAN SEE THE VIDEO ON YOUTUBE.
- YOU KNOW, I LIKE TO SEE SOMEONE
WHO'S A GO-GETTER AND NOT JUST GONNA SIT AROUND
AND SELL DRUGS FOR A LIVING.
[laughs]
I'VE BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
[laughs]
- THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, FRESH FRUIT.
- WITH KIWI AND WATERMELON.
- THIS WAS EXACTLY WHAT I ENVISIONED.
- PERFECT. - THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- IF WE'RE NOT GOING TO BARTS, WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING.
- WE THINK Y'ALL JUST NEED TO GET MARRIED WHILE WE'RE ON--
- [laughs] - REDO YOUR VOWS.
- YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
- THE CAPTAIN COULD ACTUALLY MARRY YOU.
- OH, THAT'S AWESOME.
- I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. - WOW.
- WE SHOULD DO IT. THAT'D BE AWESOME.
- SURE. - WE MIGHT AS WELL.
- I'LL SEE IF I CAN GET A GOOD PLACE
TO GET A RING YOU CAN CHOOSE OUT.
- HOLLER AT THE STAFF HERE.
- THEY-- - THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
- COULD WE DO IT?
- SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE?
A WEDDING?
- YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA, DO YOU?
- I APOLOGIZE THAT DIDN'T PAN OUT.
- YOU BETTER BE 100% SURE, BECAUSE OTHERWISE,
YOU'RE WASTING 15 MINUTES OF MY DAY.
I DON'T HAVE 15 MINUTES.
- IF WE'RE NOT GOING TO BARTS, WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING.
- WE THINK Y'ALL JUST NEED TO GET MARRIED WHILE WE'RE ON--
- [laughs] - COULD WE DO IT?
- SO ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR TOMORROW?
- YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. THAT WORKS.
- THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. - OH, I'M SURE.
- THAT'S GREAT. - THIS WILL BE GREAT, MAN.
- CONGRATULATIONS, GUYS. - CHEERS.
- CAPTAIN, COULD I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU FOR A MINUTE?
- ABSOLUTELY.
- UH, PAPA AND AMBER. - YEAH?
- THEY ASKED IF THEY COULD GET MARRIED ABOARD.
- THEY REALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED ONBOARD?
- TOMORROW. - TOMORROW?
I HOPE THEY DON'T EXPECT, LIKE, OVER THE TOP FOR,
YOU KNOW, A 24-HOUR NOTICE WEDDING.
- OKAY, SO WE CAN MAKE IT WORK? - YEAH.
I'M JUST DOING THE CEREMONY.
YOU GUYS GOT TO PULL ALL THE REST OF IT TOGETHER.
- OKAY.
NOW WE HAVE TO PLAN A WEDDING IN 24 HOURS.
THIS IS GONNA BE EXHAUSTING.
ALL RIGHT, AWESOME.
- ALL RIGHT, KAT. - THANKS, CAPTAIN.
- THANK YOU.
- HEY, BEN.
- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - UM...
THE COUPLE THAT WE HAVE ONBOARD
TALKED TO KAT ABOUT HAVING A WEDDING ONBOARD.
- IT SOUNDS CRAZY.
IF YOU WANT A WEDDING ONBOARD,
WE CAN PROVIDE ANYTHING THEY WANT.
I JUST HOPE THEY DON'T WANT A CAKE.
- THEY HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT A LIMITED TIMEFRAME THIS IS
FOR US, SO THEY CAN'T EXPECT MILLION-DOLLAR WEDDINGS.
- WE CAN DRESS DAVE UP AS CUPID. - [laughs]
- WE CAN HAVE HIM RUNNING AROUND IN, LIKE,
A LITTLE CUT-OFF TOGA OR SOMETHING,
GIVE HIM A BOW AND ARROW.
STICK, SORT OF, FEATHERS IN HIS EARS.
- I'M GONNA HAVE TO APPROVE THAT THROUGH ALEKS FIRST.
- WE CAN DEFINITELY GET SOME DOVES AS WELL.
RELEASE THE DOVES.
HAVE, SORT OF, NYLON ATTACHED TO THEIR CLAWS,
AND I'LL JUST SORT OF REEL THEM IN AFTERWARDS.
"WE DON'T WASTE A THING AROUND HERE."
STUFF THEM INTO THE DUTCH OVEN AND WHACK 'EM IN, YOU KNOW.
- I THINK BEN IS PROBABLY CLOSEST TO ME.
I THINK HE'S HYSTERICAL,
AND I SEE THAT MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY.
WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS [bleep]?
- [laughs]
- THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.
- WHAT ARE YOU--WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- BEDBUG CHECKING, BROTHER.
I'LL DO YOURS, IF YOU WANT.
- HE'S PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT HE'S DOING,
BUT I THINK THAT HE'S REALLY, YOU KNOW,
MAKING MOUNDS OUT OF MOLE HILLS.
MOUNDS OF--YEAH.
- IF YOU GUYS WANT ME TO CHECK YOUR ROOMS, I'M HAPPY TO DO IT.
- I'M GOOD.
- BETTER PROACTIVE THAN REACTIVE.
- [chuckles] - YEAH.
- WELL, I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU
IF YOU WOULD CONSIDER SWITCHING ROOMS WITH ME.
- BUT THEN I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ADRIENNE.
- WELL, THEN YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH ADRIENNE?
- YEAH, THEN I'VE GOT TO SLEEP WITH ADRIENNE
AND ALSO WORK WITH ADRIENNE AS WELL.
- IS THAT A PROBLEM?
- I'M HAPPY WITH ALEKS RIGHT NOW,
AND I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS
AND I DON'T WANT TO CHOOSE SIDES.
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT, ALL RIGHT? - OKAY.
- I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE BUTTING HEADS, SO IF IT HELPS...
I MIGHT BE ABLE TO... THINK ABOUT IT.
[both laugh]
BUT I'M NOT COMMITTING TO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
- OKAY. - I'LL SLEEP ON IT, ALL RIGHT?
- ALL RIGHT. THANKS.
- ALL RIGHT. THANKS.
ALL DRESSED UP AND READY FOR DINNER.
- CLEAN, FRESH-- - YOU LOOK NICE.
- LIKE A MILLION BUCKS.
- VERY NICE. - ABSOLUTELY.
- I HEARD IT WAS DRESS TO IMPRESS TONIGHT, FOR DINNER.
- BEN, ALL GUESTS ARE AT THE TABLE.
I STILL HAVE TO WINE THEM.
- ALL RIGHT. ROGER ALL OF THAT.
THANKS SO MUCH.
- CAN I MAKE A TOAST? - YES.
- YEAH, LET'S DO IT.
- THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE TOASTS
AND APPROPRIATE FOR THIS SITUATION.
I HOPE THAT TODAY IS THE WORST DAY
THAT WE HAVE TO START
AND THAT EVERY DAY IS EVEN BETTER THAN TODAY.
- OH, CHEERS. - CHEERS.
- MICHAEL SHOULD BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER, I THINK.
HE'S VERY GOOD AT TALKING AND GETTING PEOPLE EXCITED
ABOUT UNINTERESTING THINGS.
- BEDBUGS IS OUR PRIME FOCUS...
BECAUSE WE LOST ALL THAT INTELLECTUAL CAPITAL...
ZERO TOLERANCE, RIGHT?
THEY HAVE TO GET ELIMINATION...
BEDBUGS--'CAUSE BEDBUGS HAVE BEEN AROUND,
LITERALLY, FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS.
TO US, IT'S A BRAND-NEW BUG...
IN THE WORLD, TALKING THE CULTURES THAT HAVE DEALT...
TO ALL THESE OTHER CULTURES, THEY LAUGH AT US,
AND THEY SAY, "BEDBUGS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A NUISANCE."
- DINNER'S COMING OUT, THANK GOD, BECAUSE THIS GUY
CAN'T REALLY KEEP TALKING WITH FOOD IN HIS MOUTH, RIGHT?
- SEA BASS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
- GOT A NICE ROCK GOING.
- WHAT IN THE [bleep] ARE YOU DOING IN MY BATHROOM, BEN?
- [laughs] THIS IS WHAT MEN DO, ISN'T IT?
- WHY ARE YOU SHAVING IN MY BATHROOM?
- BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A RAZOR.
- IS THAT MY RAZOR? - PROBABLY.
- BEN IS JUST OOZING WITH PERSONALITY AND CONFIDENCE.
HE IS A [bleep] NUT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SHAVE WITH THAT?
- THAT'S WHY I-- - LIKE, ALL SORTS OF THINGS.
- THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHY I'M USING IT.
EVEN THOUGH SAM DRAGS HER FEET A LITTLE BIT,
AS A PERSON, SHE'S GREAT.
I FEEL LIKE SHE'S MY SISTER.
I MEAN, IT'S DISGUSTING FOR YOU.
NOT FOR ME. IT'S GREAT FOR ME.
- ABSOLUTELY. - AWESOME.
- YOU WANT FRUIT IN THEM OR ANYTHING SPECIAL?
OKAY. BLUEBERRIES?
OKAY.
ABSOLUTELY. - THAT'D BE AWESOME.
- BEN, BEN, SAM.
AMBER WOULD LIKE SOME PANCAKES WITH FRUIT.
- BREAKFAST IS MY LEAST FAVORITE MEAL
TO COOK FOR THE GUESTS.
THEY GET TO ORDER WHATEVER THEY WANT.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE JUST TAKING ORDERS.
YOU'RE BASICALLY A LINE COOK AT THAT POINT,
BUT FOR THE GUESTS, IT MUST BE BRILLIANT.
BUT FOR THE GUESTS, IT MUST BE BRILLIANT.
- YEAH?
OH, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT DOWN THERE? SORRY.
- 'CAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE SILVERWARE
OR ANYTHING DOWN THERE.
OR, MAYBE JUST LEAVE IT AT THE TABLE?
I DON'T KNOW.
- UH, HER BREAKFAST IS READY. - OKAY.
- AND I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE
TO TALK TO YOU GUYS TO GET PLANNING.
- OKAY. COOL. WE'LL BE UP IN A FEW MINUTES.
- OKAY, COOL.
THANK YOU.
- LISTEN, BEN.
THIS IS OUT OF MY HANDS, OKAY?
THEY ORDERED IT, HE SAID MAKE IT,
BRING IT, RIGHT?
AND NOW SHE'S STILL IN THE BATHROOM, SO.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY THIS ONE.
- OKAY, SO LET'S JUST BREAK IT DOWN
TO SEE WHY IT ALL WENT WRONG, OKAY?
- OKAY. - WHAT WAS THE ORIGINAL PLAN?
- HE WAS GONNA ORDER HIS FIANCEE BREAKFAST, WHICH HE DID.
- AND WHERE WAS SHE GONNA EAT IT?
- UPSTAIRS.
- OKAY, BUT SHE NEVER CAME UPSTAIRS.
- RIGHT.
- THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME
NOT TO MAKE THE BREAKFAST UNTIL SHE CAME UPSTAIRS.
YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA, DO YOU?
IF YOU GET ME TO MAKE SOMETHING...
- WELL, WHAT AM I-- - I'M GONNA COMMIT 100% TO THAT.
SO YOU BETTER BE 100% SURE, BECAUSE OTHERWISE,
YOU'RE WASTING 15 MINUTES OF MY DAY.
I DON'T HAVE 15 MINUTES.
- BEN IS LIKE A FRICKIN' SWITCH, LIKE, BIPOLAR OR WHATEVER.
LIKE, HE'LL BE FREAKING OUT
AND BEING JUST, LIKE, SUCH A ***,
AND TWO MINUTES LATER, HE'LL TURN AROUND AND BE,
LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, LOVE. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH."
HE USED TO BE MY FAVORITE CREWMATE,
AND NOW HE HAS DEMOTED HIMSELF TO, LIKE, SECOND FAVORITE.
- YOU KNOW, THERE'S JUST WAYS OF DOING THINGS.
- ALL RIGHT, BEN.
- THE MUSICIANS ARE HERE.
WE'RE WONDERING WHERE TO HAVE THEM STAGE.
IS THAT A QUESTION FOR YOU?
- NO, IT IS NOT.
- LET'S CHECK THE WEATHER, HUH?
- EVEN IF THE WINDS STOPPED TO NOTHING,
IT WOULD STILL BE CRAPPY OUT THERE TODAY.
- WE'VE GOT 12-FOOT SEAS.
- THEY'RE NOT GOING OUT TO SEA--
YOU MEAN THIS BOAT IS NOT GOING OUT TO SEA?
- WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH THE BRIDGE.
- YOU COULD, YOU'D HAVE TO BE ON YOUR--ON YOUR TOES THOUGH.
'CAUSE IF YOU MAKE AN ERROR, YOU'LL SMACK RIGHT INTO IT.
- LIKE, A LOT [laughs]
- WHAT'S HAPPENING, CAPTAIN?
- ALL RIGHT.
- AIN'T YOUR FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO.
LET'S GO FISHING.
- THE GUESTS REALLY WANTED TO KIND OF GET OFF THE BOAT,
AND SO NOW WE'RE GOING DEEP-SEA FISHING.
I UNDERSTAND WHY THE CAPTAIN DOCKED THE BOAT
AND DIDN'T LET IT OUT.
THE CONDITIONS ARE PRETTY ROUGH,
AND THE BOAT IS PITCHING BIG-TIME.
A COUPLE OF THE GUESTS ARE WONDERING
IF YOU HAVE THOSE SEA SICKNESS BANDS.
PEOPLE ARE FEELING QUEASY,
BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOT GONNA BE PUKING ON MY BOAT.
- SO TALKING PLANNING.
- FOR THE WEDDING? - FOR THE WEDDING.
I'M GONNA GET A BOUTONNIERE FOR HIM...
- OH, YEAH. - AND A BOUQUET FOR HER.
- PERFECT.
CHARTERING ITSELF, IT'S REALLY HARD,
SO WHEN THERE'S THIS DRAMA AND IT JUST DOESN'T GO AWAY,
AND IT'S IN FRONT OF ME AND I'M WORKING
AND I'M TRYING TO BE PROFESSIONAL,
I LIKE TO JUST FOCUS ON WHAT I'VE GOT TO GET DONE.
- WHAT ELSE AM I MISSING? - MAYBE, LIKE,
SOME, WHITE STREAMERS THAT WE CAN JUST HANG?
- I WOULD RATHER NOT MESS WITH THAT,
'CAUSE THEN WE HAVE TO TAPE IT TO THINGS
AND THAT JUST LOOKS TACKY.
I'D RATHER JUST DO THE LIGHTS THAT WE HAVE UPSTAIRS.
- WELL, WE NEED TO GET MUSIC.
ANYTHING. CLASSICAL, WHATEVER.
AS LONG--THERE NEEDS-- THERE SHOULD BE MUSIC.
- WHAT ELSE?
- FOR DESSERT.
- I'M NOT HANDLING ANY OF THE FOOD.
BEN'S GONNA HANDLE THE FOOD. - HE'S GONNA TALK WITH THEM?
- YES, I'M GONNA BRING HIM UP AND TALK WITH THEM.
- OKAY, COOL.
- THESE ARE, LIKE, THE BEST PANCAKES I'VE EVER HAD.
- HEY, GUYS. HOW YOU DOING?
- HEY, HOW'S IT GOING, BEN?
- CONGRATULATIONS. - OH, THANK YOU.
- I WANTED TO GO OVER WHAT YOUR EXPECTATIONS WERE
AND WHAT YOU WANTED.
- SEE IF WE CAN GET SOME FLOWERS.
- OKAY.
- WE ALSO NEED TO GO RING SHOPPING.
- RIGHT. - DESSERT?
WHAT DO YOU RECKON?
- IS IT POSSIBLE TO DO A CAKE?
- YEAH.
- LET'S DO A CAKE. - CHOCOLATE?
- YEAH. - YEAH, WE LOVE CHOCOLATE.
- AND HOW ABOUT A COUPLE OF ICE-CARVED CUPIDS
WHILE I'M AT IT JUST FLYING AROUND THE PLACE?
'CAUSE I'M QUITE HANDY WITH A CHAIN SAW.
- YEAH, WITH WHITE FROSTING ON DOWN THE CAKE.
- SURE, SURE, SURE. WE CAN MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.
IT'S KIND OF OUR LINE OF WORK.
- COOL, SOUNDS GOOD.
- SO DAVID, I KNOW THAT THEY NEED WEDDING BANDS,
SO I'M THINKING THAT I WILL GO WITH THEM.
WOULD YOU MIND GOING WITH ME?
I FIGURED YOU'RE-- - WHAT?
'CAUSE I'M GAY, I KNOW HOW TO PLAN A WEDDING?
- UH, BECAUSE YOU'RE RECENTLY ENGAGED.
- HAVE YOU EVER MET A STRAIGHT WEDDING PLANNER?
- [laughs] - NO, NO SERIOUSLY.
[laughs]
- WE'RE AT THE BECK AND CALL OF THE GUESTS,
SO I'M HAPPY TO OBLIGE,
BUT I THINK THEY JUST WANT THE PRETTY GAY BOY
TO COME PICK PRETTY THINGS OUT.
- WHEN DID YOU ACTUALLY GET ENGAGED?
- WE GOT ENGAGED ON MY VISIT TO MY 100TH COUNTRY.
- AWESOME.
ALL HONOR CREW, ADRIENNE AND DAVID ARE DEPARTING
WITH TWO OF OUR GUESTS.
WE'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN WE'RE BACK.
- LET ME SEE THIS ONE.
YEAH.
I LIKE THE WAY THIS FEELS.
- IT HAS A GOOD FEEL, YES?
- YEAH, THIS IS GREAT.
- [laughs]
SO AMBER THINKS THIS IS HER DAY.
SHE THINKS THAT SHE'S GOING RING SHOPPING FOR HER,
BUT IT'S NOT.
IT'S ABOUT ME.
WE'RE SHARING THIS DAY,
WHETHER SHE WANTS TO OR NOT.
THIS IS OUR DAY, NOW.
THIS IS OFFICIALLY DAVID AND AMBER'S DAY.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
- [laughs] - THIS IS PRACTICE.
- PRACTICE. [chuckles]
- YOU'LL HAVE TO PRACTICE ON ANOTHER DAY.
- SO I GUESS IT IS AMBER'S DAY,
BUT MY RING'S GONNA BE BIGGER AND PRETTIER.
- TOSS ME THE STERN LINE RIGHT THERE.
- YEAH. - OKAY.
- THE FISHING TRIP WAS A FAIL.
WE DID NOT CATCH ANYTHING. IT WAS BAD.
- WELCOME BACK, GUYS.
- WE DIDN'T CATCH ANY FISH. - WHAT'S NEXT?
- WHAT'S NEXT? - WHAT'S NEXT?
- SO JUST BECAUSE THE BOAT HAS TO STAY PUT
DOESN'T MEAN THE GUESTS HAVE TO STAY PUT.
WE HAVE JET SKIS, WE HAVE TENDERS, WE HAVE TOYS.
THEY STILL HAVE ALL THE AMENITIES,
WE'RE JUST STUCK ON ONE ISLAND
INSTEAD OF BEING ON A BUNCH OF OTHER ISLANDS.
INSTEAD OF BEING ON A BUNCH OF OTHER ISLANDS.
- PERFECT. WE'LL MAKE A WEDDING YET.
LET'S PROP IT UP.
DUDE, THIS IS WHAT [bleep] YACHTIES DO, DUDE.
YOU GET TOLD THAT THEY'RE GONNA HAVE A WEDDING,
AND THEN YOU JUST [bleep] DEAL.
- OH, MY GOD, I'M SO GLAD THIS ISN'T MY WEDDING.
- [laughs]
- HEY, I WAS JUST TRYING TO CALL YOU ON THE RADIO.
- HMM?
- I WAS GONNA ASK YOU, TONIGHT, IS IT OKAY WITH YOU
IF THE GIRLS WEAR THE BLACK SERVING FORMALS
INSTEAD OF THE WHITE EPAULETS? - YEP.
- YOU'RE GONNA COVER THE TOP OF THE BAR?
- IT'S, LIKE, AN ISLAND WEDDING.
- SO IF YOU WANT TO DECORATE THE BAR...
- OKAY, I NEED--
- AND WE NEED TO GET DINNER SET UP.
- I'M SETTING UP THE TABLE FOR DINNER.
- IT TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF STRESS OFF OF ME.
SO THE WEDDING'S AT 6:00, AND IT'S 4:00 NOW.
I'M GONNA GO TAKE FIVE...
AND I MEAN THAT IN ISLAND TIME...
- I'M GONNA-- - ALL RIGHT?
[both laugh]
- CAN WE PRUNE THESE UP A LITTLE BIT...
- YEP. - AND THEN STICK 'EM
IN THE WALK-IN?
JUST TAKE 'EM DOWNSTAIRS
SO THAT THEY'RE NOT GETTING STUFF ALL OVER THE FLOOR.
- OKAY. THIS ONE--
- WAIT 'TILL YOU GET DOWNSTAIRS.
- SORRY. - WHAT'S WRONG?
- NOTHING.
I FEEL LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
- NO.
NOW I JUST HAVE TWICE AS MANY THINGS TO DO TODAY
AS I DID BEFORE-- - THAT'S GREAT.
THAT'S AWESOME. - WHAT?
- THAT YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO DO.
YOU KNOW WHAT, ADRIENNE? SHUT THE [bleep] UP
AND DO YOUR OWN JOB.
I'M HERE, I'M WORKING, AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING.
- NASH, NASH, CJ.
- GO AHEAD, CJ.
- THERE IS A MUSICIAN ON THE AFT DECK
WHO HAS SOME QUESTIONS
ABOUT HOW TO PLUG IN HIS EQUIPMENT
WITHOUT SCREWING UP OURS.
- I'LL TALK TO THE MUSICIAN.
I'LL--I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. - THANKS, BIG GUY.
- I THINK THIS THING'S TAKEN FROM THE LIGHTS BACK THERE.
WE NEED TO FIND THEM SOME OTHER--
I CAN RUN THEM AN EXTENSION OR SOMETHING.
ADRIENNE, ADRIENNE, ADRIENNE. NASH.
ADRIENNE, ADRIENNE. NASH.
- WHAT DO YOU NEED?
ADRIENNE, ADRIENNE. DAVE.
YEAH, I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THE MUSICIANS ARE HERE.
WE'RE WONDERING WHERE TO HAVE THEM STAGE.
IS THAT A QUESTION FOR YOU?
- NO, IT IS NOT.
- IT'S A QUESTION FOR NASH.
- HOW IS THAT NOT A QUESTION FOR ADRIENNE?
SHE'S THE CHIEF STEW.
- THIS IS THE, UM--
- YOU KNOW WHAT? IT DOESN'T REALLY CONCERN YOU.
YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY ROOM?
SPEND A NIGHT IN IT.
- I'M JUST DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF.
- QUESTION. - YOU WANNA GET MARRIED?
- NO. CAN I MARRY THEM?
CAN I GET MY LICENSE?
IT TAKES ABOUT 30 MINUTES
FOR ME TO GET IT AND MARRY THEM.
- YOU'RE JUST GONNA GO ONLINE
AND GET SOME BULL[bleep] LICENSE?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- HOW DO I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE LEGAL HERE?
- [mocking] HE'S SALIVATING.
- I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS. - PAVLOV'S DOG.
- [as a Southern preacher] WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY
TO BEAR WITNESS OF THE HOLY MATRIMONY OF PAPA
AND HIS BEAUTIFUL *** STAR WIFE, AMBER.
[laughter]
- THAT WAS ALL RIGHT. WELL DONE.
COULD HAVE BEEN SOME PREACHER IN THE SOUTH.
- CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH? - YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
- ADRIENNE, ADRIENNE. NASH.
- SORRY, CHIEF. - YOU'RE NOT ANSWERING NASH?
- I JUST DID. I JUST SAID "COPY."
- HE'S CALLED YOU, LIKE, FOUR TIMES.
- NO, I SAID--I WAS-- - JUST DEAL WITH IT.
JESUS CHRIST. - I'M GOING UP THERE RIGHT NOW.
- THANK YOU. - THANK YOU.
- WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM THAT EVERY TIME I CALL YOU,
YOU NEVER ANSWER? - I DIDN'T HEAR ANYBODY.
- RIGHT AWAY, I TOLD DAVE,
"COULD YOU CALL HER RIGHT NOW REAL QUICK?"
AND RIGHT AWAY, YOU ANSWER.
I'M LIKE, "WELL, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH HER?"
IF I CALL YOU, IT'S FOR SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
- I UNDERSTAND.
- I'M NOT WASTING ANYBODY'S TIME HERE.
- I DIDN'T HEAR YOU. I'M SORRY.
- WHATEVER.
- I'M USED TO TUNING OUT CHATTER AND I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
I THINK EVERYBODY'S STRESSING OUT ABOUT THE WEDDING,
AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S EASY TO PROJECT ON ME.
IT SUCKS, BUT HEAVY IS THE HEAD
THAT WEARS THE CROWN SOMETIMES.
RIGHT THERE, AND RUN THE POWER CORD OVER HERE.
- UP THERE? - UP THERE?
- YEAH. THAT'S COOL.
- THAT'S COOL.
- THANK YOU.
- WHAT DID YOU WANT ME UP HERE FOR?
- JUST TO HELP ME GET THIS STUFF OUT OF HERE.
I MEAN, FOLD THE PILLOWS. I DON'T KNOW--
- OH, YEAH, DON'T WORRY.
I DON'T HAVE TO SET UP THE BAR OR ANYTHING.
- BOTH OF THOSE FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS,
ON EITHER SIDE NEXT TO THE DINNING TABLE.
I FEEL A TIME CRUNCH.
I FEEL PRESSURE TO GET THIS MOVING.
IT'S IMPORTANT THAT THE TIMING IS RIGHT,
AND WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
ALL HONOR CREW, PLEASE BE IN UNIFORM.
THE WEDDING WILL BE IN SEVEN MINUTES.
- [chuckles]
- CONGRATULATIONS, BRO. - THANKS, BRO.
[steel drum music]
♪ ♪
- PAPA. - HI.
- HOW ARE WE DOING? - GREAT.
- I DON'T REALLY KNOW IF I SEE MYSELF EVER GETTING MARRIED.
I FEEL LIKE IT'S, YOU KNOW, SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE FOOT
TRYING TO STOP A ROBBERY.
[steel drum wedding march]
♪ ♪
- SEEING THEM GET MARRIED IS SWEET,
BUT I'M NOT READY TO BE SUZY HOMEMAKER
AND BAKE PIES ALL DAY IN AN APRON
AND DRIVE MY KIDS TO SOCCER PRACTICE.
NOT GONNA HAPPEN. [laughs]
- WE'RE GATHERED HERE TO CELEBRATE THE UNION
OF NICHOLAS KHO AND AMBER HOLMES IN MATRIMONY.
NICHOLAS, PLEASE REPEAT AFTER ME:
I, NICHOLAS, TAKE YOU, AMBER.
- I, NICHOLAS, TAKE YOU, AMBER.
- I, AMBER, TAKE YOU, NICHOLAS.
- TO BE MY WIFE.
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.
- UNTIL DEATH DO US PART. - UNTIL DEATH DO US PART.
- I KNOW IT'S CHEESY, BUT I'M LOOKING UP THERE, SMILING,
AND I DON'T SEE THE HAPPY COUPLE.
I SEE TREVOR AND I STANDING UP THERE, AND I CAN'T WAIT.
- BY THE POWER OF YOUR LOVE AND COMMITMENT,
AND THE POWER VESTED IN ME AS CAPTAIN OF THIS VESSEL,
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE.
YOU MAY KISS YOUR BRIDE.
- WHOO! [cheers and applause]
WHOO!
- THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FEELINGS
THAT YOU GET AS A STEWARDESS.
IT'S PLANNING THE IMPOSSIBLE
AND MAKING IT SEEM EFFORTLESS AND FLAWLESS.
- I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. - I LOVE YOU.
- HOW YOU DOING, BEN?
- I MEAN, A WEDDING CAKE?
REALLY? THANKS A LOT.
- I FEEL FOR YOU, BUDDY,
AND IF I COULD DO SOMETHING TO EASE YOUR PAIN,
I CERTAINLY WOULD.
- IN THE NEXT FEW HOURS,
I HAVE TO FEED A FIVE-COURSE DINNER
AND A WEDDING CAKE.
NIGHTMARE.
I DON'T CARE IF DINNER'S LATE AS LONG AS IT'S A SUCCESS.
IT'S THE STEWARDESSES JOBS NOW
TO KEEP THEM [bleep] ENTERTAINED.
IF THEY CAN'T DO THAT, THEY SHOULD [bleep] DROWN THEMSELVES.
- OKAY. - SHALL WE ADJOURN TO THE TABLE?
- THE CHEF SAID THAT YOUR RIESLING WOULD BE PERFECT.
- TO AMBER AND PAPA.
I TRULY FEEL HONORED
TO HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SHARE THIS EXPERIENCE WITH YOU GUYS
THAT HOPEFULLY, WILL BE ONE THAT YOU CAN LOOK BACK ON
AND TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS.
SO CHEERS TO YOU AND TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE FOR YOU GUYS.
- CHEERS. - THANK YOU SO MUCH, BRO.
- CHEERS. - CHEERS.
- I THOUGHT THE PLATES WERE JUST STUNNING.
I'D BEEN WANTING TO JOIN TUNA AND SALMON
AND SORT OF, YOU KNOW, MAKE THESE BLOCKETTES OUT OF IT
AND THEN CUT IT AND JUST SHOW ALL OF THE, YOU KNOW,
THE COLOR CHANGES THROUGHOUT,
LIKE, THE ORANGE, THE RED, THE ORANGE, THE RED,
AND I COMPLIMENTED IT WITH AMAZING VEGETABLES
AND SAUCE WORK AND ALL OF THAT.
- HE CAN SLEEP TONIGHT. - DELICIOUS.
- I LOVE IT. EVERYBODY, ENJOY.
- IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE DISHES
I'VE BEEN KIND OF DREAMING ABOUT FOR MONTHS.
- I WAS IN SCHOOLS. - HEY, GUYS, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- YAY. [applause]
- I'VE BEEN TO THE BEST SUSHI RESTAURANTS.
I'M A BIG FAN OF SASHIMI. - YEAH.
- THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST COMBO...
- YEAH? - OF TASTE.
- I'LL DO SOME MORE. WOULD YOU LIKE IT FOR BREAKFAST?
- SURE. [laughter]
- THEY'RE READY WHEN YOU ARE, BENNY.
- OKAY, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO THEN?
- WELL, I'M NOT GONNA LIE.
I'M A LITTLE INTIMIDATED TO CARRY THAT THING.
SO IF YOU WANT TO BRING IT OUT, I THINK THAT WOULD BE BEST.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT.
IT'S NOT HER BIRTHDAY, SO DON'T SING.
- HOLY COW.
- OH, MY GOSH, THIS LOOKS AMAZING.
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL. - BEAUTIFUL.
- LOOK AT THIS. - WOW.
- DISPLAY OF-- - IT'S FANTASTIC.
IT'S A PIECE OF ART.
- HERE YOU GO.
- BY PLANNING THIS WEDDING,
WE JUST SAVED THESE PEOPLE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
I'M THINKING-- CHA-CHING!--
WE'RE GONNA GET A NICE TIP AFTER THIS.
- AWW. [applause]
- TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM.
- CAN I GO TO BED, DARLING, OR DO WE STILL HAVE MORE TO DO?
- LAUNDRY'S ALL SQUARED AWAY?
- WELL, IT COULD BE FLIPPED.
CAN I JUST GO TO BED?
CAN I JUST GO TO BED?
- [snores]
- TODAY SHOULD BE A PIECE OF CAKE.
THEY CAN'T THROW A WEDDING AT US.
AT LEAST THEY CAN'T DO THAT TODAY.
ALL HONOR CREW,
PLEASE COME TO THE AFT DECK TO SEE THE GUESTS OFF.
- ALL OF YOU, WE WANT TO SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH.
YOU EXCEEDED OUR EXPECTATIONS.
UNFORTUNATELY, THERE WERE CERTAIN SITUATIONS
THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE CONTROL OVER,
BUT YOU CONTINUED TO DO
EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY COULD,
AND WE REALLY, REALLY, APPRECIATE IT.
THANKS, EVERYBODY.
YOU'RE GREAT. - HERE'S TO HONOR.
- WHOO. - YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
THANK YOU GUYS. - THANK YOU GUYS.
- IT WAS A PLEASURE HAVING YOU ONBOARD.
- BYE. - WHOO-EE!
- ALL CREW, ALL CREW, WE HAVE A CREW MEETING.
- OKAY, ALL IN ALL, I THINK EVERYBODY PULLED TOGETHER,
TRIED TO DO THE BEST THAT WE COULD.
WEATHER DIDN'T HELP US AT ALL, SO...
HERE'S A TIP FOR YOU GUYS.
LET'S SEE WHAT IT IS.
- I THINK--I MEAN, BETWEEN THE FIVE OF THEM,
I THINK THAT THE TIP SHE LEFT
COULD VERY WELL CLEAR 12 GRAND.
- UM, IN TIP, $4,000.
- THERE'S NO DOUBT IN MY MIND
THAT WE CREATED THAT AMAZING WEDDING FOR THEM,
AND UNFORTUNATELY, IT DID NOT REFLECT IN THE TIP.
- UM, ANYBODY GOT A CALCULATOR?
DIVIDE THAT UP BY 11.
- $900 A PERSON WOULD HAVE BEEN A 15% TIP.
THIS GUY--WE GOT 9%.
THAT TELLS ME THAT WE DID A [bleep] JOB.
THEY'RE TELLING US, "YOU GUYS WERE AMAZING.
YOU GUYS WERE FANTASTIC,"
BUT, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A DISCONNECT.
IT DOESN'T REALLY MAKE SENSE.
- NOT WHAT I EXPECTED,
BUT IT'S MORE THAN WE STARTED OUT WITH.
- YEAH, IT IS. - I'M REALLY PISSED.
I'M STRESSED, I'M EXHAUSTED,
I'VE BEEN WORKING NONSTOP,
AND THEN OUR TIP SUCKS.
WHY AM I DOING THIS?
- ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
WE'LL JUST GET THE BOAT KNOCKED OUT.
ANYTHING ELSE?
- LET'S GET HER CLEANED UP. - GO GET IT.
[phone rings]
- HI, YOU.
- HI.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- [laughs] YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
LOOK AT YOU.
- [indistinct] - [laughs]
I REALLY ENJOY MY CREW AND I ENJOY SPENDING TIME WITH THEM,
BUT I SEE THEM ALL DAY LONG.
I SEE THEM ALL NIGHT LONG.
I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM THEM.
I WILL-- IF I GET A FEW MINUTES
JUST TO SPEND WITH ME AND TREVOR, I'M GONNA TAKE IT.
- THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL BOAT.
- ISN'T IT? - YEAH, I CAN SEE.
- I WISH I COULD, LIKE, TAKE YOU FOR A TOUR.
- YEAH, ME TOO.
[both laugh]
I WANT YOU TO COME HOME.
I'LL MAKE YOU GOOD DINNERS. - [giggles]
THIS IS SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT THAN I EXPECTED IT TO BE.
SKYPE HAS BEEN A GODSEND.
I DON'T KNOW THAT I SEE A CAREER IN THIS.
- I LOVE YOUR PICTURES YOU SEND ME.
- WELL, I WAS SENSITIVE AT THE BEGINNING
ABOUT SENDING YOU ANY PICTURES
BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO, LIKE,
THROW IT IN YOUR FACE THAT I'M IN PARADISE.
AND IT KIND OF SUCKS BECAUSE I'M HERE--I MEAN, I'M NOT ALONE,
BUT I'M WITHOUT YOU, SO IT FEELS LIKE I'M ALONE.
YOU'RE QUIET.
- [sighs]
- WHEN I SEE HIM GET SO EMOTIONAL I--
IT REMINDS ME THIS IS WHO I'M GONNA BE WITH
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, YOU KNOW?
I'M GONNA SEE THAT-- THAT GAMUT OF EMOTIONS
AND UPS AND THE DOWNS AND I JUST--
I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR FUTURE.
ALL RIGHT, SWEETHEART.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
[indistinct chatter]
- I HAVE A BLANKET FOR YOU.
- IT'S TOO HIGH.
- NO. - [laughs]
- I CAN'T GET ONE PERSON ON THIS BOAT TO SWITCH ROOMS.
- LOOKIT--LISTEN, I'VE GOT A REALLY GOOD IDEA.
JUST ABANDON YOUR ROOM... - ABANDON SHIP?
- AND WE'LL SET UP A COT IN CJ AND I'S ROOM, OR...
- YEAH, PERFECT. - [bleep] THE COT,
YOU CAN JUST ROTATE OUR BEDS
AND WE'LL JUST DOUBLE UP. - YEAH.
- IT'S ACTUALLY QUITE A BRILLIANT IDEA
BECAUSE THEN WE LEAVE ADRIENNE
STRANDED AND LONELY AND MISERABLE.
- I DON'T KNOW THAT THAT'S THE BEST IDEA EITHER.
- NO, WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.
- HELLO, LOVE. - BEN.
ARE YOU ON THE TOP OR THE BOTTOM?
- I'M ON THE BOTTOM, WHICH IS A BIGGER BED.
- IS IT? - YEAH.
- NOT ANYMORE.
- NOT ANYMORE.
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
BECAUSE YOU'VE ALREADY TURNED ME DOWN.
- NO, I DIDN'T.
- I'M HURT THAT SHE'S THAT OFFENDED BY MY PRESENCE
THAT SHE CAN'T SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AS ME.
- [laughs]
- YOU KNOW, I'M JUST TRYING TO HAVE A NICE NIGHT
WITH MY FRIENDS, MY CREW WORKERS.
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GET INTO ANY OF THE DRAMA
THAT'S GOING ON ONBOARD.
WELL, YOU KNOW, THEN THAT'S THE TAIL END,
AND WE CAN CONTINUE IT ON A LATER DATE.
I REALLY JUST-- - NO, I WANT TO DO IT NOW.
- FINE! [bleep] YOU. [bleep] YOU.
- NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT. - [laughs]
- THEN DO IT. - NO PRESENT LIKE THE TIME.
- YOU KNOW WHAT? IT DOESN'T REALLY CONCERN YOU.
IT DOESN'T CONCERN YOU.
WELL, UNTIL YOU SAY YES, IT DOESN'T CONCERN YOU.
WELL, THEN TALK TO HER.
- NO-- - THE FINER POINTS.
YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY ROOM?
SPEND A NIGHT IN IT!
- I FEEL LIKE THIS WHOLE CABIN SWITCHING
IS KIND OF EMBARRASSING.
I FEEL A BIT BAD FOR ADRIENNE.
- WELL, THAT WAS AWKWARD.
ALL RIGHT. COOL. ACTUALLY.
NO, IT'S FINE.
- NO, WELL, I-I--
- I WALKED INTO THIS SITUATION THINKING--
[tears up]
I WALKED IN HERE
WANTING TO...
TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY,
REPRESENT WHAT I DO FOR EVERYBODY ELSE,
WHO IS SO PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT I DO.
AND I JUST FEEL LIKE I FAILED AT THAT MISERABLY.
I'M JUST DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF.
- NEXT TIME, ON BELOW DECK...
- THANKS FOR THE CALL. - DID I JUST HEAR RIGHT ON THAT?
- HEAR WHAT I HEARD?
- WHAT?
both: WHAT? [overlapping chatter]
- [bleep]. [overlapping chatter]
- WHAT THE [bleep] IS GOING ON?
- PEOPLE ARE EMBARRASSING.
THEY'RE TOO [bleep] LOUD.
- THAT'S TWO! - HEY!
- THEY'RE OBNOXIOUS. - [laughs]
- OOH!
- JUST THE LOWEST FORM OF CLASS YOU CAN HAVE.
- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
REALLY? - COME ON!
[alarm beeping] - WHAT'S THAT?
- FIRE'S OUT OF CONTROL IN THE LAZARET.
WE CANNOT CONTAIN THE FIRE IN THE LAZARETTE.
ROGER. ABANDON SHIP, GUYS!
GET TO YOUR STATIONS!
[siren blares]