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You're killing me! I need to know every last detail about your date with Teddy!
And I like my stories raunchy. Go!
It was so cute! We went out to dinner, we took a romantic walk in the park, then he took me home...
Kissed me goodnight, and I went to bed.
Oh! By myself, of course.
By yourself? The hell kind of story is that?!
It's sweet Shari! I don't want to go too fast. I mean, office romances can be so murky.
Oh, because of all the sex in the copy-room.
Shari, No!
I can't believe I waited all weekend for a crap story like that!
I was expecting steamy tales of love from the bathroom stall. Or how he roughed you up, then took off his belt, tied your
your hands to the bed-post. Hannah: Shari, no no no!
It was just a lovely evening.
If you say so. You know, you and I should double-date sometime.
Oh, are you seeing someone?
I'm kind of in-between men right now, but I've got a couple suitors lined up.
All I have to do if figure out which one I can get to first base. Which is what I consider sex on the hood of a car.
Shari: You see its fun because if the car is moving you cant Hannah: Oh no. No no no! Lalala!
Shari: get pregnant, but when it stops thats when the fun Hannah: Lalala! Can't hear you Shari! Can't hear you! Lalala!
Shari: begins! Because then you can get on top of the hood Hannah: Lalala! Can't hear you Shari! Can't hear you! Lalala!
Shari: of the car, not the man, but if you're that type of Hannah: Not listening! Nope nope nope! Lalalalala!
Shari: person, you can get up on em just fine!
Can you believe this? Ever since they stopped minting the penny every other country is doing it too!
The Penny, the Pence, the Polushka, even the Galleon.
I know, these magic cutbacks are brutal. I mean, just the other day I had to tell a little boy I couldn't give him
a racecar. Well...not so much 'couldn't' as I didn't want to.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I brought another NASCAR driver into this world.
It's getting worse. It's starting to look like we'll have to let someone go.
What!? May I remind you that not a month ago you told me I was the best fairy you had and you cant afford to lose-
Fire Shari, she's dead to me now!
Oh calm down, dearie. There's no way I could bring myself to fire someone! This company is like a family to me.
If only there were some cold, calculating computer who could do it for me. Someone without bias and totally devoid of all
human emotion and compassion.
Tell me in one adjective, one noun and one adverb why I shouldn't fire you.
[ gulp ]
I get here as fast as I could!
We lied about the donuts.
Damnit!
We only called you here for one reason: Yvette!
Wendy: Travis has a plan. Travis: Wendy, please!
I have a plan! Yvette only needs to fire one person, right? If we play our cards right, we can make sure it isn't either one
of us!
Wendy: Or me. I can't loose this job, I just made business cards!
This says 'Mark Wahlberg.'
Yeah. I have over 100 of them!
So what's the plan?
That ***, Karla, in ad-sales!
Oh I hate her!
Everybody does! If we go in there when Yvette evaluates us and make Karla sound like a ***...
Which she is!
Which she is, we can make sure that both of us keep our jobs!
Wendy: And me.
Right! Of course.
What's that?
Wendy: I can see both of you!
Give me 23 thing you bring to this company that other employees don't.
Well, I-
GO!
Hey, you didn't say you were gonna time me!
30 Seconds.
You didn't say how long I had!
10 Seconds.
There's no way that was 20 seconds!
15 Seconds.
Uh...junk in the trunk! Hoppity hops! I've got...er...addiction! Ah, These are all negative things!
Except junk in the trunk.
Hannah: I can't believe someone's getting fired! Do you think it'll be me?
I wouldn't worry about it. The Fountain Department is only one person, without you who's going to grant the wishes?
Well that's true. But what about you?
I've not concerned. I mean, I am incredibly charming.
You know, Yvette isn't exactly a people person. What do you think the interview will be like?
Well you know how vikings used to brutally tear down and torch villages and make fun of puppies and stuff?
Yeah?
Probably something like that.
Who are you again?
I'm Wendy. The new new-girl. You hired me.
Why shouldn't I fire you?
Um...I think I can best answer that...
...through song!
Oh God, no no no, stop!
♫ Yvette is pretty! Yvette it mean! Yvette is nice! ♫
♫ Yvette has a spleen! Yvette is sitting across from me! ♫
♫ I love Yvette! Please don't fire me. ♫
Look, I'll let you keep your job, just promise me you'll burn that ukulele.
Uh, oh yeah. Karla from ad-sales is a ***.
[ Karla Screams ]
Hello Karla.
What do you guys want?
Oh nothing! We're just checking up on you, darlin'.
Travis: See how you're doing in the go-go world of ad-sales!
Shari: See what mistakes you've been making. Wendy: Because you're such a ***.
Listen, I know Yvette is axing someone because of pay cuts but it's not going to be me! I already bribed her.
And don't think that coming down here and...bringing the weird girl with you is going to intimidate me!
She called you weird, Shari. You are weird.
You better watch your back, Karla!
Because someone may or may not have filled your filing cabinets with poisonous scorpions.
Oh, is this your pen?
Wendy: You know, I'm really sorry, that was so mean.
Karla: Oh, no it's okay, well thank you.
Karla: I can get it, I can get it.
JUST LET ME DO IT!
There is a swarm of mail guys. Why should I keep you around?
Well, frankly I'm really the only one that ever comes up here. I mean, have you ever seen another mail guy?
Point taken. Give me another reason. Besides you being attractive, I'm not attracted to you!
This package I hold in my hands may or may not be for you. And without me, how will you ever know?
Is it for me?
I don't know.
Where's it from?
Cavity Corner's Chocolate Emporium.
Is this a bribe?
Maybe.
Leave it by the door on your way out.
Draw six cards, and you owe me $600!
Mirror: Ah, no no no! I've got a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card in the Conservatory!
Son of a ***.
[ Knock Knock Knock ]
Come in!
Oh, Hannah dear! Please, sit down.
Mirror: Hello Hannah! I heard you went on a date with that lowbrow Theodore.
Uh, Yes I did, but how did you know that?
Hello! All-knowing, all-seeing looking-glass over here! Honestly.
Don't mind him, he doesn't get out much. Now, what can I do ya for, dear?
Well...I wanted to ask you something. Does someone really need to get fired?
Oh honey, don't worry, we'll bounce back, we always do.
Godmother: You think it was easy when they started using paper money instead of just coins?
You should have seen this place. I had to talk our CFO off the balcony.
Well, I think I know what my Granter of the Month wish is going to be.
Alright, we both know how this is going to go down, sister. We're going to sit here while everyone out there thinks you're
judging me for my 'work ethic' but instead we're going to talk about that time we convinced Karla her parents were in the hospital.
So...why shouldn't I fire you?
Because somewhere in there is a heart that cares.
You mean this?
Oh God! What is that?!
At least I know where mine is.
Perfect.
[ Knock Knock Knock ]
Come in.
Godmother: Oh Yvette, sweetie, there you are.
How did your interviews go?
Well all day I watched my co-workers squirm in front of me like I was some sort of tyrant.
Holding their lives in the palm of my hands. So scared, so terrified.
So all-in-all it was a really good day.
You know, Hannah wished for no-one to be fired. I don't think I can grant it.
Yes you can. And here's how.
This doesn't give me any pleasure, dearie.
I know, but it's my choice. Although a lot of people did want me to fire Karla.
Yes. I don't know what it is about her, she's just such a...a...
***. She's a ***.
There. Payment deduction noted. Your checks will be 10% smaller.
But nobody gets fired?
That's the way it works.
Good.
You're a sweet girl, Yvette. Do you know that?
Don't tell anybody.
Travis: You want a Wish-Off? You got it!
[ Power Failing ]
The magic generator blew, it'll take a couple hours to re-boot.
Karla: We're like, stuck here?
Travis: Yes, we're stuck here Karla, God!
[ Monster Roar ]
Oh...right. Craig.
I bet that you'd win Granter of the Month and the prize was a date!
You'd have to grant about two-weeks worth of wishes in one day.
Then that's what I'll do!
What are you guys fighting about?
Travis & Yvette: Shut up Karla!
Synthetic PictureHaus
Wow. Those were all terrific reasons.
Damn it, Karla, get out!