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ROBBERIES.
***.
THROUGH SURROGATES.
>> YOU KNOW THAT BETTER THAN
ANYONE.
>> I NEVER COMMITTED ***.
>> BUT YOUR DEPARTMENT DOESN'T
KNOW ALL THAT YOU DID DO FOR ME.
I WONDER WHAT THE CAPTAIN WOULD
THINK IF HE WERE TO FIND OUT.
>> WHOO!
>> OH, YOU OOH.
[LAUGHTER]
RIGHT, GEOFF PETERSON?
GEOFF: THAT'S CORRECT.
[LAUGHTER]
CRAIG: PLEASE WELCOME THE LOVELY
ALONA TAL, EVERYBODY!
ALONA TAL!
[APPLAUSE]
WOW!
YOU LOOK SENSATIONAL, YOUNG
LADY.
REALLY, WONDERFUL.
>> THANK YOU.
I TRIED.
CRAIG: CLEARLY IT HAS PAID OFF.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
ARE YOU COMFORTABLE?
DO YOU NEED THE LITTLE STOOL
THERE?
WE KEEP IT BACK HERE IN CASE TOM
CRUISE IS EVER ON.
[LAUGHTER]
BACK HERE SOMEWHERE.
THERE YOU ARE.
JUST STICK THAT DOWN THERE.
>> DO I GET LIKE A FOOT MASSAGE
WHILE I'M AT IT?
CRAIG: SURE.
YOU WANT A FOOT MASSAGE?
>> YOU KNOW.
CRAIG: A LOT OF TOE CLEAVAGE
GOING WITHIN WITH YOUR SHOES.
-- ON WITH YOUR SHOES.
GUYS LIKE THAT.
>> THERE IS A VERY NICK THERE.
I'M VERY CLUMSY IN MY HEELS.
CRAIG: ME TOO.
OH!
LISTEN, THIS SHOW YOU'RE DOING,
THIS IS THE SHOW THAT SEVEN
TALKING ABOUT.
IT IS THE "CULT" SHOW WHERE
THINGS GO NUTS.
>> THEY DO.
THEY GO BONK ERS.
CRAIG: YOU'RE ON A TV SHOW AND
LEAVE IT AND BECOME A DETECTIVE.
[LAUGHTER]
>> THAT'S ONE WAY TO LOOK AT IT.
I ACTUALLY PLAY TWO ROLES.
I'M TWEAG ACTUALLY PLAYING AN
ACTRESS THAT IS PLAYING A
DETECTIVE ON OUR SHOW.
[LAUGHTER]
CRAIG: CHANGE THE BATTERY NOW.
>> NOW!
CRAIG: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
>> ISRAEL.
CRAIG: I THOUGHT THAT WAS AN
ACCENT THAT I COULDN'T PLACE.
>> ARE YOU SAYING THAT I HAVE AN
ACCENT?
CRAIG: A LITTLE BIT.
YEAH.
>> THIS IS AN ACCENT FROM
ISRAEL.
THIS IS AN ACCENT FROM ISRAEL.
HELLO, I'M FROM ISRAEL.
CRAIG: I CAN HEAR A TINY LITTLE
BIT OF IT.
WHEN YOU WERE TALKING.
A LITTLE BIT.
[LAUGHTER]
I THOUGHT, SOMETHING
MEDITERRANEAN GOING ON THERE A
LITTLE BIT.
ISRAEL.
DID YOU DO YOUR NATIONAL
SERVICE?
WERE YOU EVER IN THE MILITARY?
>> SURE DID.
CRAIG: YOU HAVE YOUR UNIFORM?
>> I DON'T BUT I HAVE ANY DOG
TAG.
CRAIG: THAT'S COOL.
DID YOU LEARN THE -- SEE.
IT IS NOT MCGRATH.
CRAIG: I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
I ALSO HAVE SOMETHING OF AN
ACCENT.
>> LIKE YOUR ACCENT, THOUGH.
CRAIG: THANK YOU.
I LIKE YOUR ACCENT TOO.
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ISRAEL.
DO YOU GO THERE A LOT?
>> YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME.
THIS IS VERY EXCITING.
YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME.
I'M GOING IN JUNE.
CRAIG: FINE.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
YEAH.
HONEY, I'M GOING ISRAEL.
JUNE!
GREAT.
OH, BY THE WAY, CHANGE THE
BATTERIES NOW.
NO.
I WOULD LIKE TO GO TO ISRAEL.
WERKED TAKE THE SHOW TO ISRAEL!
YES!
[APPLAUSE]
>> IT IS GOING TO BE LATE, LATE
SHOW ON THE HOLY LAND.
CRAIG: NOTHING WILL GO WRONG
THERE MAKING JOKES AND HAVING A
FLIPPANT TIME WITH A ROBOT
SKELETON IN THE HOLY LAND, THAT
IS NOT A RECIPE FOR TROUBLE IN
ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM.
>> WE CAN TAKE IT.
CRAIG: LET'S JUST LEAVE IT AT
THAT, SHALL WE?
WHEN DID YOU COME HERE?
>> NINE YEARS AGO.
CRAIG: SO WHEN YOU WERE ABOUT 9?
>> YES.
[LAUGHTER]
CRAIG: SO YOU WERE IN THE ARMY
AS A CHILD?
>> YES.
I WAS LIKE A PROTEGY NIKITA
STYLE.
CRAIG: COULD YOU DO ALL OF THAT?
>> I THINK I MY STUN MY
OPPONENTS JUST BY THEM GOING
WHAT THE [BEEP] WITH THAT?
I CAN'T.
BUT I CAN REALLY PRETEND.
[LAUGHTER]
I CAN PRETEND MY *** OFF.
CRAIG: DON'T DO THAT.
PRETEND SOMETHING ELSE.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
CRAIG: SOME THINGS --
>> OK.
CRAIG: SOME THINGS YOU SHOULD
JUST LEAVE THE WAY THEY ARE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YOU HAVE A NICE TIME IN L.A.?
ARE YOU ENJOYING IT?
>> I DO.
IT IS A LOT LIKE ISRAEL
WEATHER-WISE.
CRAIG: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE
ISRAELI RESTAURANT IN THE
VALLEY?
>> WHAT?
CRAIG: IT IS GREAT.
IT IS HAKADOL.
>> WHAT IS IT?
CRAIG: IT IS A HAKADOL.
>> NO, I HAVEN'T.
CRAIG: IT IS A FAMILY.
THEY HAVE A RESTAURANT IN TEL
AVIV AND THEY HAVE A RESTAURANT
IN THE VALLEY.
IT IS REALLY GOOD.
YOU GET ALL OF THIS --
>> WE TALK LIKE THIS.
WE'RE LIKE THE ITALIANS ONLY
NOT.
CRAIG: RIGHT.
AND THE THING IS YOU GO TO THE
RESTAURANT AND IT IS AN OPEN
KITCHEN AND ALL THE GUYS WHO
WORK IN THE KITCHEN LOOK LIKE
THEY ARE IN -- THEY ARE CHOPPING
THINGS UP AND THEY ARE LIKE I'M
CUTTING, I'M CUTTING.
>> THAT'S THE THING WHEN YOU GO
TO ISRAEL.
YOU SHOULD NOT START NOTHING
WITH NOBODY.
CRAIG: I NEVER START NOTHING
WITH NOBODY ANYWAY.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHY I WOULD
START ANYTHING WITH ANYBODY
OTHER THAN LOVE.
I'M A LOVER, NOT A FIGHTER.
[APPLAUSE]
MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR.
CRAIG: YOU GOT A BIG REACTION
FROM LESBIAN ROW RIGHT THERE.
[APPLAUSE]
>> I'M SWEATING.
CRAIG: ARE YOU SWEATING?
>> I'M SWEATING PROFUSELY.
CRAIG:
>> SCHVITZING A LITTLE BIT?
>> YES.
CRAIG: I LIKE TO THINK I AM.
>> THAT'S YIDDISH.
LET'S GO WITH HEBREW.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I SAID
THOUGH.
CRAIG: I DON'T HAVE A TOOTSY
FROOTSY IDEA WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
THEY MIGHT.
THEY WILL CHECK.
THEY WILL CHECK.
>> GOOD.
I'M GLAD.
CRAIG: YOU MIGHT HAVE TO BEEP
IT.
>> NO.
CRAIG: I ONCE SWORE OUT HERE.
THEY DIDN'T NOTICE?
>> IN WHAT LANGUAGE?
CRAIG: ANYONE I CAN FIND REALLY.
>> CAN I SWEAR IN ANOTHER
LANGUAGE?
CRAIG: AS LONG AS IT IS NOT
GERMAN.
IT IS A GERMAN WORD FOR INTIMATE
RELATIONS.
[APPLAUSE]
WELL, WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
YOU WANT TO THROW FRISBEES AT MY
HORSE?
>> I WOULD LOVE TO.
I USED TO PLAY ULTIMATE FRISBEE
WHEN I WAS 16 AT THE BEACH.
I HAVEN'T DONE IT IN A WHILE.
I'M A LITTLE RUSTY.
CRAIG: LET'S GET GOING.
THERE IS HORSE.
ALL RIGHT.
ALONA TAL, EVERYBODY!
ALONA TAL!
OH!
ALONA TAL!